Emotionless
by Jules In Neverland
Summary: Beca has aspergers. She has lived all her life practically alone, known as the rude, socially awkward, egocentric girl in class nobody liked or understood, until she arrives Barden. She, the one who doesn't understand other's emotions, jokes, irony, sarcasm, affection, corporal language, and never had friends or romance, will meet Chloe, the master of that world so unknown to her.
1. Chapter 1

**This story was born thanks to a prompt found in Tumblr made by agent-cody-riley and it's thanks to them this story has been born. No copyright intended, the idea is from said person, the story development and invented characters mine, and most of characters and placed mentioned are from Pitch Perfect, property of Universal. I only write for the pleasure of doing so. Hope you like it.**

 **THIS FANFIC TOUCHES TOPICS SUCH AS DEPRESSION, DRUGS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS AND IS HEAVILY CENTERED IN ASPERGERS SYNDROME. You've been warned.**

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Chapter 1:

Benjamin Mitchell knew everything about feelings and emotions, he felt them every day. He knew it hurt when his wife asked him for a divorce, he knew it hurt to leave his family, or how it felt to see someone you love hurt in front of you. Hell, he knew what it felt to love. But it wasn't the same story to his only child, Rebeca. She knew how to feel them, but she couldn't understand them properly, and she could not tell the others could feel those things too. Rebeca or, how she liked to be nicknamed, Beca, knew nothing about the ache inside her father felt every time she would be so passionately talking about music, her only passion besides literature, and people around her would just go because she couldn't catch an indirect and know they weren't interested, or when she came home crying because none of her mates liked her, and they mostly hated her, punched her, pushed her, or insulted her, or how did it felt to see her be hurt and angry with herself and her lack of, for example, understanding irony or sarcasm. She couldn't know, because she couldn't feel it. She couldn't feel a thing when somebody, even if it was somebody she really cared a lot about, cried in front of her, like it happen when her aspergers broke her parents' marriage. She had never had friends or a partner, she never wondered about sexuality, she had never had sex, and she had never understood why her parents divorced even if she assumed it probably had to do with her. Because she always had to be the issue, because everything went weird the second she went into a room. People would never talk to her, people would put weird faces, she never knew why or what those meant, and people would just go away from her. They just assumed she was an arrogant, full of ego, piece of shit. Because if somebody had Down syndrome, people knew they had it, you could see it, but her? People would assume she was a disgusting person before even start to think about the sole possibility of her having a mental disorder.

So when the Mitchells realized their daughter's weirdness seemed to vanish every time she played a piano, they bought her one of her own, and she would spend her time there countless of times, without even thinking that she could bother someone, or without understanding why she was forced to stop at night. She learnt on her own, and she was a little Mozart, she had to be, because she was too different for a professor to understand, and her parents wouldn't add another extra set of classmates to bother her. And when Beca discovered from a family friend computers, deejay equipment and those kinds of technologies, she grew obsessed about it, and was all she knew. Her family never understood how she learnt all of it so fast and how she was so good at it, but they assumed she was at least, very intelligent, even if she was also socially impaired.

Benjamin Mitchell left everything in Virginia, and moved to Atlanta to work in Barden University and marry his new wife, Sheila, and when Beca was eighteen, he welcomed her to study there. Beca agreed, but choose to live in the University campus in one of the freshmen rooms. She was brave, and chose to try and have a normal life because she didn't understand how wouldn't she be able to.

Beca Mitchell was now alone in her room. Her father had specifically made sure she would have a room for herself, and given the circumstances, the dean made an exception and let her have it. It was her first day of her first year at college studying a degree in literature and she already had her room perfectly organized to the slightest detail, and her laptop in her bed as she created music.

"Beca?" her father had knocked the door, unnoticed to her, and came in "I see you already did a pretty good job with the organization of the room. Is there anything you need?"

The short, brunette girl, pulled her earphones off, she didn't knew why she had to, but her parents said apparently people felt she wasn't listening if they talked with her and she didn't remove them. She didn't know why would somebody assume she was deaf just like that, but she assumed it was the same reason why they assumed she was a bad, despicable person.

"I'm fine dad, thanks" she replied in a monotonous tone.

"Not every day is somebody's first day at college, why don't you go and get to know the place?"

"I'm intelligent; I will find my class without a problem. I don't need to go exploring" Beca replied without moving her beautiful dark blue eyes from her fingers, fidgeting with one of her rings like a tic.

"I know Beca, but maybe you could meet some cool people that are as interested in music as you are."

"People don't like me. They always go away when I arrive." Her tone didn't change, it never did, and it never showed a single emotion. It was also never lower or higher.

"Maybe you'll find people like you who will love you. This is college Beca, and I work here, I know here you can find all kinds of people, even when you less expect." Ben said full of optimism.

"You think so?" Beca asked, her eyes moving to a side.

"Yes" Ben replied "Come on, I have a good feeling about this."

"Will you come with me?" Beca asked.

"I would love to, but I have a very important meeting with other teachers here, and I can't go with you. But you can call me later and tell me all about your walk."

Beca nodded picking up her laptop bag and stood, going to the door. She muttered a goodbye, and went to the Campus gardens. There, she started walking around, there was some kind of activities' fair, and students were talking about what they loved the most, so she encouraged herself to find a group that was into DJs. She found a group of students talking about David Guetta, as she overheard, and approached them.

"Hey" she said with a tiny smile. The others stopped speaking and stared at her weirdly, which she didn't notice "I overheard, were you guys talking about David Guetta? I've got all his albums. I'm a DJ too, not professionally of course, but I'd love to become one professionally. My parents say I'm pretty good at it, I think I'm pretty good too, I mean, I've never heard a bad critic about my work so why would I think otherwise? Also…" but she stopped seeing everyone leave. She shrugged, feeling a small ache inside, but, half used to it, she put her hands into her pockets and walked errands for a bit, until a very cheery voice interrupted the 'March to the Scaffold', from Berlioz, that she was humming without even noticing.

"Hi! Would you like to join our a cappella group?" a beautiful ginger was asking her, handing a paper. Beca looked at her, never in the eyes, and quickly to the paper. She took it, read it quickly, and handed it back.

"I'm not interested" she simply said and proceeded to walk away.

"Oh" the ginger said, looking down disappointed, but Beca didn't notice her sadness. She had barely walked a few feet when a blonde girl stood in front of her way abruptly.

"Don't you think that was a bit rude, dude? She was being polite, you could at least be nice to her."

"Aubrey, don't…" Beca looked to the blonde's chin frowning.

"No Chloe, let me handle this. I don't know who this one thinks she is to be rude without a reason, what is your problem girl? Are you too cool for us?"

"I'm sorry" Beca said looking back at the ginger, Chloe, without changing her tone of voice "I didn't mean to be rude, is just how I talk. I'm sorry, I'm not interested."

Chloe grinned and nodded.

"It's okay, I understand" Chloe said and looked at Aubrey accusatorily rising her eyebrows. Aubrey sighed.

"Sorry for jumping on you like that. You can go" Aubrey said, although she seemed to be saying that out of obligation than out of actual desire.

"Okay. If I meet someone interested, I'll let them know where to find you" Beca said, looking from one girl to another. She turned around, and was about to go, when she stopped and looked at Chloe "Do you know if there's a DJs thing somewhere?"

"No, sorry" Chloe smiled apologetically "but hey, there's a radio station in Barden, you could ask the dean for the application papers."

"Thanks Chloe" Beca made a small smile.

"You're welcome. Can I know your name?"

"Beca" Beca shrugged and left, imagining her only proper conversation of the week with other than her parents was over.

Later that afternoon, she took her laptop and equipment to the auditorium, looking for a quiet and calm place where she could be alone and in silence, because even though she had her room for herself, with all the students moving in and all of that, there was a lot of noise in the whole main buildings, which filtered into her room through the thin walls. Once in the auditorium, she saw there was a piano there, and felt instantly attracted to it, leaving her suitcase on top of it and before she noticed, she was playing softly, with her eyes closed. Then, after a while, she heard a soft and lonely applause, which made her stop abruptly and look up to whatever was there to bother her.

"That was beautiful" Chloe, the ginger girl she had met that morning in the activities fair, was standing in front of her, her supporting with her elbows in the piano, and with a huge grin plastered on her face "Are you from a music academy, maybe a conservatory?"

Beca, somehow startled, got up taking her suitcase.

"No" she simply replied using the same monotonous tone of voice with whom she always talked, and walked to some chairs starting to get her laptop out of the suitcase.

"I'm sorry if I bothered you Beca" Chloe said, approaching her with her hands in her pockets and frowned "Look, I just came here to rehearse some dance moves Aubrey and I have been thinking for the Bellas, I'll just do my thing and won't bother you, okay?"

"What kind of egocentric group names itself the Bellas?" Beca asked kind of rudely frowning and Chloe smiled.

"Actually, the Barden Bellas are well known for being pretty, skinny, tall women. So I guess they found the perfect name to cover their egocentric asses, don't you think?" Beca shrugged, and went on with her laptop, sitting perfectly straight, with her piercings in perfect place, her clothes perfectly clean and well-put, her make-up perfectly done, and her hair, perfectly done too, just like her nails. Chloe put music on her phone and stated dancing around, but Beca just focused on her headphones and her own music.

After a while, she took her headphones off for a moment to clean their insides, that she felt not clean enough. Then, there was a crashing noise, and Chloe fell on her butt in the ground, and made a pained expression and grunted in pain, her hands on her ankle. Beca indifferently looked at her and then back at her headphones, and blew some dirtiness out of them, brushing with a napkin she had on her pocket.

"You could at least care enough to help, you know?" Chloe snapped suddenly, with pain in her voice and tears in her eyes, and Beca looked at her without perturbing much.

"I didn't know you needed help" Beca simply said.

"Well, I thought it was obvious. Normal people usually worry when they see someone fall, but you just looked and kept working like nothing happened." Chloe said. Beca frowned "Could you please help me, Beca?" Chloe said after huffing a bit, emphasis clear in her words.

Beca put the laptop back on its suitcase and went towards Chloe.

"What do I do?"

"Let me put an arm around your neck and you put an arm around my waist and help me stand up supporting on you instead of my ankle."

Beca frowned even more and shook her head, looking to her feet.

"I'm not comfortable with that" she said.

"Beca!" Chloe huffed upset "For God sakes Beca, could you please do as I say? I'll owe you a big one, okay? But please, I can't get to the nurse's office on my own. I need your help" Chloe said impatiently "Please, I'll do anything you want."

"Can you resuscitate Beethoven?" Beca asked and Chloe looked incredulous at her.

"No! I meant normal things every human can do" Chloe said. Beca nodded, and did as Chloe had been asking, helping her stand in a second.

Like if it was on purpose, Beca ignored all the grunts and pain expressions or noises Chloe made as she helped the ginger towards the nurse's office, finding her quickly despite never have been there before. The nurse helped Chloe bandaging her ankle, which was twisted, gave her some painkillers and crutches, and let her go. Beca was ready to go back to her bedroom, but the ginger had other plans.

"Beca!" Chloe shouted when she was starting to go "Can I… uh… can I come to your bedroom?"

"Don't you want to go to yours?" Beca asked.

"I live in the Bellas' house, and it's too far away for me to go right now. I just took the painkillers, and I am a bit sleepy, and have nowhere here to be. So… look, I know you don't like me, but it'll just be for a while, until I feel less sleepy and more ready to go or I'll call Aubrey to pick me up" Chloe said nervously, looking at her with pleading eyes.

"Follow me" Beca said simply, and didn't even flinch despite Chloe's noises of tiredness or pain as she walked as fast as she could, behind Beca, who waited for nobody. Beca opened the room and went in firstly, and let Chloe in without a word, closing the door behind her. The room couldn't possibly be more clean or organized. Beca sat on her desk with _History of two cities_ by Charles Dickens, and got into her lecture like nothing else mattered, and Chloe frowned again and laid over the covers of Beca's bed, trying to not disorganize it a lot "What are you doing?" Beca asked seeming rude, but it really was just her normal voice, emotionless.

"I'm just resting, the painkillers made me feel very tired" Chloe said apologetically sitting up "Look, I'm sorry, this was a bad idea…" she said getting up.

"Why was it a bad idea?" Beca asked.

"Really?" Chloe asked with disbelief.

"Yes, of course, why would my questions not be for real?" Beca said confused. Chloe sighed.

"It wasn't a good idea because you hate me, and I am bothering you a lot by being here, so I should go."

"I don't understand why do you think I hate you. That's why you want to leave me? I don't hate you Chloe, you are the only one out of my family who has ever treated me so well for so long, it doesn't bother me that you are here. I just couldn't understand why you felt like laying on my bed, but now I do. I just want to understand things" Beca explained looking at the floor.

Chloe grew more confused and seemed to relax a bit and grow more empathetic, so she got more comfortable in the bed and looked a Beca.

"Why do you never look people in the eye?"

"It makes me uncomfortable" Beca said, plainly honest, like always. She had never had such a social life as that day, and she was starting to grow anxious about the possibility of messing it up.

"You are the weirdest person I've ever met" Chloe stated, and Beca shrugged apologetically "Was that true, I am the only person who ever treated you well out of your family for this long? In your whole life, only me?"

"You should know, Chloe, for me it is impossible to tell a lie" Beca said "unless it's to protect myself, but never systematically. So yes, of course it was true. Well, there's this one person that has stuck with me ever since we were two, but he's like my only friend ever."

"Why? Did you suffer bullying or something?" Chloe asked.

"I don't know. I guess people just found me too different, and just… they didn't hurt me, they just got as far as possible from me" Beca replied "at least, my parents say it's because I'm special, which I don't really know what means. Of course I'm special, I'm unique, right? But isn't it everybody?"

"I guess" Chloe shrugged "I'm sorry people didn't like you. I like you."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. I try to never lie too" Chloe smirked a bit "You are the weirdest… but in a good way. People sometimes try to be too much like the others and it's not interesting for me. You, on the contrary, are very interesting."

"Thank you" Beca looked at her for a second, and a tiny smile appeared on her face.

"You seem very rude sometimes, you know? But that's just you, right? Is not like you hate people?"

"I told you Chloe, I like people, and people hate me. I was hoping on making my first friends ever today because my dad is a teacher here and wouldn't stop saying how here there are so many different kinds of people and I would make friends quickly, but the moment I opened my mouth, the whole group vanished" Beca explained.

"I'm sorry" Chloe said really meaning it. She sat in the bed as close to Beca as she could "Hey, can I be your first friend ever?"

Beca looked at her in disbelief, her eyes wide open.

"You want to be my friend?"

"Of course. And I want you to be my friend too" Chloe smiled "you helped me a lot today, you are my friend."

"Then I guess yes" Beca smiled a bit and for a second, looked at her again "What do I have to do? What do friends do?" she had basic ideas of what friendship was like, from her only friend in the whole world and books and movies or TV Shows, but she also knew each person was different and therefore, each friendship was, so she wanted to know what Chloe expected from her.

"Friends listen to their friends' problems and try to help like if they were their own problems, friends feel affection, sometimes even love, towards their friends, and in short, friends do whatever it takes to make their friends happy, without breaking the law of course. That's why you got me to the nursery and let me use your bed." Chloe patiently explained to her and grinned, getting up "Well, I think I'm feeling better, I should get going, but we can meet tomorrow!"

"You don't have to see me tomorrow" Beca quickly said "I mean, if you don't want to…"

"Of course I want! We should go have lunch together after the Bellas' auditions. Hey, why don't you come to the auditions?" Chloe said excitedly standing in front of her.

"I told you, I don't like a cappella, I don't even know how to sing."

"Are you kidding me? You were humming while playing piano, and sounded beautifully. A person can't be that much into music and have such a good hearing and not know how to sing, I bet you have an amazing voice. And you'd like the Bellas, we go to championships, you could have a bunch of friends who love music too!" she tried to convince her "please Beca, just come. If you don't like it, you can leave the group and we will still be friends, I swear, but just give it a chance, please." She begged.

"Why do you insist so much?" Beca said not understanding how anybody could care so much about something so stupid. Chloe sighed.

"I've been there since I was a freshman, and now I'm a senior. They are my family, Beca, the Bellas's house is my house, they are my friends, and I love a cappella. Our leader used to be really mean and now she left and it's Aubrey's and mine's turn to make it okay again after failing last year at Nationals in New York. We just want our last year to be good and get to go to Nationals again, but we need ten people to participate in the competition and after the big fail last year, when Aubrey threw up on stage, nobody wants to join." Chloe explained with a sad expression "If nobody comes tomorrow… it'll be the end."

Beca still couldn't understand her sadness, but she knew she was sad for her words, and somehow, for the first time in her life she found out she didn't want that sadness to exist on that cheery happy person. And Chloe had said they were friends and friends do everything to make each other happy.

"I'll join the Bellas" Beca finally said "and I'll do whatever I can so the Bellas can go to Nationals in New York, but I can't promise anything else than that I'll try my best."

Chloe's face instantly shinned and showed a huge smile that could unfroze the entire North Pole.

"Really?! Oh, Beca!" Chloe hugged Beca as tightly as she could, but Beca just stood awkwardly "Oh, you don't like hugs?" she pulled apart, noticing Beca's tightness "Sorry."

"Is not that I don't like them" Beca excused "is just that I'm not used to them, and I don't know what to do when I get one."

"It's okay" Chloe smiled, and resisted the urge to kiss her cheek, not wanting to make her more uncomfortable "See you tomorrow, auditions are at eleven in the auditorium."

The following day, Beca did as promised and went to the auditorium alone, and was there five minutes before eleven. She gave her name to the guys that presented the auditions and when she was called, she went and sang, with her eyes closed, and for singing was the only times she changed her tone, her pitch, the highness or lowness in her voice, the only times she acted more like a human being a less like a robot. And people liked it and clapped. She, a bit bewildered and frowning a bit seeing that strange behavior on people she would never understand. Why clapping? Did that mean they liked her? Or hated her?

"You were awesome!" Chloe said cheerfully as they left they auditorium "I told you her voice was going to be beautiful" Chloe added looking at Aubrey, who stood beside her with a satisfied smile.

"Do you think you'll have the ten girls you need?" Beca asked.

"I think we do" Aubrey said and Chloe grinned "but we aren't annunciating the chosen ones until tomorrow."

"But you're definitely in" Chloe said and Aubrey half smiled at her like a mom smiling at something silly but cute her daughter did.

"Great" Beca curved her lips into a smile.

"Let's go have lunch, shall we?" Aubrey said.

"Yeah, I'm starving" Chloe said rubbing her stomach, and Beca rose her eyebrows.

"God Chloe, how can you be that hungry, didn't you have breakfast? We should hurry up and get you something to eat…"

"Beca" Chloe smiled "I was exaggerating, I'm just normal hungry" she explained while they walked.

"Oh" Beca frowned a bit bewildered "I don't really get exaggeration."

"We hadn't noticed" Aubrey said with irony and a tiny smile.

"Well now you know then" Beca replied while they kept walking outside the campus. Aubrey rolled her eyes, and they walked in silence until they reached a bar not very far away and sat in a table looking through the menus.

"So Beca…" Aubrey smiled amicably at her "pale, socially awkward… are you Dracula's lost daughter?" she joked without malice. Chloe smiled a bit, but Beca frowned until she seemed to have just one eyebrow.

"Aubrey, Dracula comes from Romania, and also being a vampire I believe he, if he existed, would be actually dead, well, at least dead enough to not produce sperm, so I couldn't possibly be his daughter" Beca explained in a very know-it-all voice, that was actually her normal one, and Aubrey rose her eyebrows looking at Chloe, both astonished "I can, however, tell you the reason I'm pale it's because I'm from Maine originally. But no one in my family lives there anymore. And my actual father is Doctor Mitchell, comparative literature teacher in Barden."

"Oh" Aubrey smiled politely "I was joking, Beca, but it's good to know you're not the daughter of a vampire anyway. Yeah, I know Doctor Mitchell, he is one of Chloe's teachers isn't it?" she added looking at Chloe.

"Yes, he is" she smiled "awesome teacher. So you're his daughter then?"

"Yeah" Beca nodded "you study literature?"

"I do, well, I actually want to be a music teacher, but the teaching career includes literature." Chloe explained "So I have his class."

"I'm studying a major in literature" Beca explained "it's a shame you're in forth year, it would be cool to see you in class from time to time."

"Yeah, that's a shame!" Chloe frowned and then smiled "but hey, everyone new in the Bellas seem to be freshmen, so someone will probably share some classes with you."

"I guess" Beca shrugged.

"It's funny Doctor Mitchell is your father, I don't see the resemblance. Well, you have similar appearance, but that's all" Chloe said.

"We both love literature" Beca said "but yeah, I don't really have much resemblance with anybody in my family… or out of it."

"Chloe said you learned to play piano pretty awesomely on your own" Aubrey commented and a bartender brought their food so they started eating it "how'd you do that?"

"I'm good mastering things" Beca shrugged "I don't know, I can learn to do stuff pretty fast and once I learn, I usually become very good at it. I'm not a good dancer, though."

"Then I'll go easy on you" Chloe smirked "I'm the main dance planner in the Bellas."

"Will you help us with the music?" Aubrey asked Beca.

"Sure" Beca nodded "By the way, thanks Chloe, I got into the radio station."

"That's great!" Chloe said, and looked at Aubrey "Beca's a future DJ."

"Oh" Aubrey looked from Chloe to Beca and smiled "Good."

"Yeah, I love disc jockeying" Beca said "I've been practicing for years, I'm really good at it, like at almost everything except, of course, dancing. But even though I could be the best at everything but that, I chose music, that's my passion, mostly playing piano and disc jockeying. I bet Mozart wasn't as good as I am." She explained, and Aubrey and Chloe exchanged uncomfortable looks.

"That's a bit harsh on him" Chloe explained "he is, after all, considered a genius." Beca smirked.

"That's because you haven't seen me enough. I'm better." Beca said.

"Wow, you are not egocentric aren't you?" Aubrey asked sarcastically.

"Sure, I'm not" Beca said "I'm just plain honest. Why should I lie to make others have a false sensation of fake greatness if I know I'm better? If I wasn't that good, I'll say so. Just like I admit I suck at dancing."

"Well, bite your tongue a bit when we are rehearsing, if you say a word about being better than the others, they will hate you Beca. Nobody likes being told they aren't good at something, even if it's the truth, people are happier on bubbles of lies" Aubrey explained seriously.

"Why? I like being told I'm not that good at something, so I can get better and prove them wrong" Beca said bewildered.

"It's just how it works, Beca" Chloe said apologetically "You can offend people's feelings if you tell them they aren't good at something, and then they will hate you and treat you bad. Just keep those thoughts to yourself, okay?"

"Okay" Beca shrugged. It was going to be a weird experience.


	2. Chapter 2

**The support has been overwhelming, thank you all so much. I hope you like this one, and leave reviews, I love reading your thoughts! Also, the chapter 1 has been re updated, due to some errors I fould and corrected.**

 **THIS FANFIC TOUCHES TOPICS SUCH AS DEPRESSION, DRUGS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS AND IS HEAVILY CENTERED IN ASPERGERS SYNDROME. You've been warned.**

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Chapter 2:

The new Bellas were Beca, Emily, Fat Amy, Stacie, Cynthia-Rose, Flo, Jessica, Ashley and Lilly. Emily was a innocent, good and perky brunette who composed music too, Fat Amy was a funny and sarcastic blonde Australian, Stacie was a sexy, beautiful girl, who danced very well and also loved sex and parties, Cynthia-Rose was a black, gay, girl, with an amazing voice and composing abilities, Flo was a Latina dancer, very short, like Beca, and sexy, Jessica was a blonde with a really beautiful voice, very nice with everyone and very friendly, Ashley was a brunette that was funny and perky, and Lilly was an Asian girl who knew beat-boxing, spoke really low except when singing, and danced pretty good, so at the end, Chloe and Aubrey were pretty satisfied. Beca was happy too, although she got a bit anxious when they had to get together, and unusually quiet, afraid of ruining the only group of friends, and the only friends, she had ever had, so she tried to speak only when strictly necessary, laugh when the others did even if she didn't understand why, and just limit herself to her job. She really liked those girls, after all, so she also decided to avoid being the weirdo for once in her life by not telling anyone she had aspergers, which also required making up really good excuses to, once a week, miss the morning rehearsal of Saturday's to go to her weekly appoint with her therapist.

"Beca, you came!" Aubrey said one day when Beca came back from therapy one Saturday to the auditorium, that day the rehearsal was a three hours one, so she arrived to the last hour of rehearsal. Breathless, Beca left her laptop's suitcase on top of the piano and joined the girls, who were learning the mix Beca had prepared.

"I told you I'd be here as soon as possible" Beca said taking a paper with the lyrics and notes from Chloe's hands.

"Where were you, by the way?" Stacie asked.

"I had to go buy some books for class" Beca lied. The good part about aspergers was she always spoke in the same voice and tone, and almost never looked at anyone in the eye, so there was nothing suspicious if she didn't do it that time either.

"But you never come on Saturdays, why don't you free them in the mornings knowing we always have rehearsal?" Aubrey asked nicely.

"It's true, last Saturday you had a dentist appointment" Ashley said "and the one before, what was? Your laptop broke and you had to go get it fixed? And then, the one before, I believe your dad had a leak and you had to go help him, or something like that."

"And as you can see, those aren't things I can possibly plan. There are just some crap that by coincidence, happens every Saturday morning, but I do keep them free" Beca calmly said. She was too intelligent to even think that nobody could ever catch her lies.

"That's true" Emily said, giving Beca a tiny smile "bad luck gets to all of us. But she's here now, so why don't we keep rehearsing?"

They rehearsed for a while, and then gave the rehearsal by finished and Aubrey and Chloe called them to talk.

"We have something important. We want to invite you all to come live with us in the Bella's house near the Campus." Aubrey said excitedly.

"It's a tradition, and there are rooms enough for everyone, people would only have to share with one person, and it will be fun" Chloe added grinning. All the girls showed excitement about it except for Beca, who felt actual sweat on her back "Don't you like the idea, Beca?"

"Is not that I don't like it" Beca said, honestly, because it really sounded like fun… for a normal person "is just that living with people is not my thing. I don't even live with my father, is just not my thing."

"Oh, that's too bad" Chloe, for a normal person, would have seemed sad, but for Beca, she noticed any difference "Well, I'll give you the direction anyway in case you feel like visiting some time, alright?"

"Okay." Beca nodded and accepted a piece of paper where Chloe had quickly written the address.

"Hey, the Trebles are hosting a huge party tonight at their house, why don't we all go?" Stacie said while looking at her cell. Everyone agreed and then Beca shook her head "Come on Beca! Don't be a boring old lady!"

"Yeah Beca, you haven't come to a single party with us yet!" Cynthia added "Don't you like us enough to go out with us?"

"That's…" Beca rose a finger in the air but put her hand down, not knowing what to say "Of course I like you all, hell, I wish you all were my friends, but I just don't like parties. It has nothing to do with you, it's just who I am, and if you don't like it, then I'm sorry but I can't apologize for being me." Beca said in her all-time monotonous tone.

"It's okay Beca" Chloe smiled nicely "hey, why don't we do something you like?"

"It's very kind of you Chloe, but the things I like can't be done by eleven girls at the same time; reading, playing piano, making mixes… but it's alright. You all go and have fun, I'll go have my own fun." Beca replied with the same blank expression she always had.

"Come on Beca, come with us" Emily said friendly "I promise it'll be fun, and if you don't like it, you can always leave. Just give it a try."

"Yeah, you've never come to a party with us, it'll be the best party you've ever been at" Jessica added with a smile, and Beca shut herself instead of telling her she had actually never been at a party.

"They're right you know?" Aubrey added "you can always come back if you don't like it, but you might as well love it, and then, you'd have something to do with us apart from singing and dancing."

"Come shorty! I'll be super fun!" Fat Amy elbowed her friendly and Beca eyed them seriously. She didn't want to go. She didn't believe it could be fun. But she wanted so desperately to fit in, and wanted to believe them so bad, she nodded "Yey! Let's go, Aca-Bitches!"

She walked at the end of the group behind the others, trying not to have a panic attack from all the social anxiety she started feeling, a feeling that increased with each step she walked towards the Trebles' house, but tried to keep it cool. The house was filled with people dancing, getting drunk, and doing silly stuff, and music was very loud but very much her kind of music, there was also a pool, and a lot of drinks. Beca didn't drink because she knew it was bad for her liver and thought drinking was stupid, completely stupid, and for the same reason, she didn't smoke either.

"Beca!" not ten minutes into the party, Jesse Swanson approached her with a huge grin. Beca had never had a single friend in her life, except for Jesse, who had been her friend ever since they were two years old in kindergarten. He had been there before she, when having ten years old, was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome, and he had never left her side. Beca, however, still had aspergers, which meant she didn't quite understand yet the need of communication a friendship required, so she almost never texted him or anyone, let alone call, and had forgotten he had texted her saying he was a Treble and was in her same college, studying music and business, and he had to be there. Beca smiled happily hugging him strongly. He was the only person she ever hugged, even though they barely did it. Jesse had tried his best to help Beca, and she was less socially awkward than what she could have been without him, but being him a boy and not a girl, there were many things they couldn't help each other with or do together. However, Jesse was very good and patient with her "What are you doing here?"

"I joined the Bellas, and they were coming" Beca replied.

"You wanted to fit in, uh?" Jesse looked at her proudly "That's an awesome effort."

"I guess… listen, this parties aren't so bad, right? The music is pretty good."

"Yeah, and the food is good. We can just chill together like we did at our graduation party last June!" Jesse said excitedly "You don't have to worry, they aren't that bad, and if you get bored, we'll go to your dorm and listen to your mixes until the morning."

"Okay" Beca smiled a bit and eyed his cup "Jesse…"

"What did we say about just letting people be even if they are trying to kill themselves?"

"I know. I just don't get it, Jesse, you are happy, healthy, have great marks, why would you hurt yourself on purpose?"

"I don't drink enough to really hurt myself Beca, that's not what I want. We drink because, even though for some people is not like that, for some like us, we genuinely like how it tastes, it's like why people eat beef if it's bad for the heart? Everything is always bad for something, Beca, but we sometimes have to choose happiness over strict health, after all, we are all going to die one day, so we might as well live happy until then, than always worrying about the unavoidable." Jesse explained patiently, while they walked into the house and sat comfortably on the couch with their drinks –Beca took water- not paying much attention to a couple that was passionately making up in front of them "Get a room!" he snapped to the couple, who got up slightly embarrassed and ran away "So, how are things going with the Bellas?"

"Fine, they like my mixes" Beca replied.

"It's awesome how even knowing about your aspergers, they still want to be your friends" Jesse said with a smile.

"That's because they don't know" Beca said "And you are not going to tell anybody, aren't you?"

"Of course not Beca, that's your privacy" Jesse shrugged "but I think it's best if they know."

"If they knew, Jesse, they would know for sure how weird and different I exactly am, they would stick to the popular idea of aspergers, and Google it maybe, only to be afraid of me, or find me a disgusting weirdo, a monster, and then, they'll go, like everyone else. And I'm sick of being so alone all the time."

Jesse looked sadly at her, but said nothing and just nodded a bit. The couple hung out for an hour, until Beca decided it was her time to go to sleep, and Jesse decided to take her to her dorm to make sure she arrived safely. On their way out of the house, however, they found Chloe making out heavily with some guy that had her pinned against a wall, kissing her neck eliciting some moans and keeping a hand under her blouse and on her boob, and another on her ass. Beca, without thinking it twice, went to them and with a surprising strength for such a tiny girl, pulled the boy back from the back of his t-shirt's neck with her right hand, and with the left one, punched the boy in the face has hard as possible. Everyone around them fell into silence looking at them, impressed, laughing or making a video.

"That's not the proper way to treat a lady like her, you piece of shit!" Beca, who never rose her voice, yelled to the guy, who was too impressed to care. Chloe, however, recovered quickly from the shock and, blushing, pierced Beca with her eyes, so angry her hair seemed like flames.

"What the fuck are you doing Beca? Tom is my boyfriend!"

"We should go Beca" Jesse said quickly.

"Well, he shouldn't be don't you think?" Beca ignored Jesse. She had recovered her usual monotonous, cold tone of voice, and her calmness and indifference "And what are you, a whore? A lady should never let a boyfriend treat them like that Chloe, he could give you some illness, or leave you pregnant, or just be using you like many people do Chloe, and this is no place for making out like that, only whores do that. And what is he? Dude, you seriously think rubbing your toner against your girlfriend and getting her half naked in the middle of a party against a dirty wall is romantic? You both are pretty irresponsible."

"Beca!" Jesse tried to intervene.

"Beca, you are just eighteen, who do you think you are to tell us, seniors in our twenties, how to be with our partners?" Chloe said rising her tone in anger "Calling me a whore? What are you, Einstein? You know nothing about couples, or love!"

"You fully well know I am not Einstein, but that's another topic I'll explain in another occasion. Come on Chloe, you know you may be older but I'm a hundred times more intelligent than half Barden University if not all, you think getting drunk and trying to get your boyfriend to fuck you against a wall is intelligent? It's seems pretty dumb to me, absolutely stupid really, he could have not used a condom and you wouldn't even realize!"

"Beca, stop!" Jesse tried to stop her again.

"You don't seem to be intelligent enough to see how messed up you are, weirdo" Chloe snapped "You've called me a whore and a stupid person, without even mentioning what you just did here, how have you embarrassed us, and what you've called my boyfriend. You have three seconds to put up a fucking good apologize Beca."

"I am not wrong, Chloe" Beca snapped back "If you were more intelligent, you would see. You want to know why am I such a weirdo? Because Hawking was. And Mozart, Newton, Galileo, Marie Curie, Aristotle. They were all weirdos and they were all some of the greatest people ever alive. You are mediocre compared to them." Beca simply explained and looked at everyone else "You are all. Dumb assholes."

That said, she shrugged, holding her tears back, and started walking away, followed closely by Jesse.

"Don't fucking talk to me ever again Beca!" Chloe shouted to them "If you think that's what a friend does, you are very wrong and I don't want to be your friend!" Other people had also just realized Beca had insulted them, and were starting to shout rude stuff to her. Fortunately, only Jesse knew were her dorm was, so he took her there, and once they arrived, Beca sat on the floor and started crying heavily, her hands holding her forehead with such a pressure the knuckles were white, her elbows on her knees.

Jesse sat beside her, not touching her because that only seemed to upset her more, but just being there, until she stopped crying, crossed her arms over her knees, and rested her head there, looking at Jesse with her eyes barely open, her face red from crying, and her throat sore. She felt like her heart had been ripped apart, and she had too many mixed feelings and confusion, she just understood nothing.

"Chloe is right, though" she said with raspy voice "My IQ is 163, and I know nothing about social skills, emotions in others, need to be touchy, and many, many other things. I'm incredibly intelligent and I've tried to commit suicide five times in my life. Do you think dumbest people are the happiest ones?"

"I think the people that have the most things, have more to learn to control, more stuff to manage and keep in order. Like a computer, is much harder to build and keep clean and like new, and it will break easier than a simple book." Jesse said, and started massaging Beca's scalp with his fingertips, making the girl close her eyes. In certain times, Beca would let people get caring with her, but only if she was really desperate to feel better, enough to try something she didn't understand. "You really messed things up, Beca. If they made a video, everyone will hate you tomorrow, you need to be careful. And you really need to apologize to Chloe."

"Don't worry, I'll stay here. I already know what they are teaching me and classes are too boring, I will just stay here until everybody forgets. Maybe it's better that the whole campus hates me, they'll pretend I don't exist, I'll have all the peace and quiet to work on my mixes."

"Beca… look, I won't argue now that we are both tired, but you will get out of the cave and apologize to her tomorrow."

"But I don't understand Jesse, I stopped her from doing something really stupid that could have gotten her in serious trouble."

"I know, and she does, but all she sees now is that you, her friend, called her a stupid whore, called everyone stupid, acted like a know it all embarrassing her in front of everybody, acted like an egocentric bitch, messed with her boyfriend… do you need more reasons to apologize? Just tell her that's not what you wanted to happen."

"Alright" Beca nodded tiredly "I still don't really understand what I did wrong."

"Just think about this like one more thing your little problem will make it hard for you to understand. You'll understand better with some time, but the apologizes need to happen quickly."

"Okay. Thanks dude" Beca got up "Come on, get back to bed. I need to sleep."

"I can stay make you company while you sleep."

"No" Beca shook her head "I really want to be alone. See you tomorrow."

It took a while, but finally Beca crossed and locked the door behind Jesse, went to the windows, and closed the curtains. She was about to pretend she didn't exist for maybe a month, until people cooled down. The Bellas wouldn't probably want her back anyway, but they had her mixes and work and could win at Regionals in a couple weeks without her.

Then, Beca sat in her bed and started crying again, and then, in the deepest parts of a drawer, she found a bottle of gin she bought for her father long ago and forgot to give him, and started drinking it from the bottle while crying. Maybe she really should become invisible. Maybe the world was better off without her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for all the support and the reviews. I'm really stunned, wasn't expecting any of this at all, but you are all the nicest and best readers! I actually remember some of you from other fics of mine you've followed, favourited and reviewed, like Unstoppable, which is, by the way, still being done. I have that one entirely written, and I'm writing it's third and last part along with this fic and my duties as a college student.**

 **JAKE, I'm officially dedicating this story to you, my friend, in hopes that literature provides you with more places where you can feel touched and represented somehow. I loved hearing your story, and I would love to be able to talk more to you, because you would be an amazing help. Firstly, thanks, it's a relief to see you found that many things accurate, and I will write about what you suggested. Secondly, you should not feel offended by the title of this fic, because it was written in kind of a joke for all those people that believe people with aspergers have no emotions, because the story is actually about a person with this syndrome that everyone believes to be a rude, careless, emotionless person, but that actually has a lot inside, and many feelings and emotions, and the title was my way of telling all these people, "you think they're emotionless? Wait and see how "emotionless" they are.". Also, I would like for you to tell me how people with aspergers talk so I can write it properly, because I only know this guy that isn't really close with me but I did realize he didn't seem to change his tone of voice a lot, to module it much, and read around the internet people with aspergers speak that way. However, I know Internet is many times not that accurate, so if you could help me out, I'd appreciate it a lot. I'd also like to know, how are romantic relationships for you? Like having a partner, dating, having a caring partner that's touchy, or sex, those kind of things. Thanks a lot Jake, it was awesome to hear from you and I hope you keep always doing better!**

 **THIS FANFIC TOUCHES TOPICS SUCH AS DEPRESSION, DRUGS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS AND IS HEAVILY CENTERED IN ASPERGERS SYNDROME. You've been warned.**

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Chapter 3:

That night, Beca took a good shoot of her anxiety pills and drank the whole bottle of gin all by herself, until she felt asleep, only to be woken up by having fingers down her throat and be throwing up on the toilet of the en suite bathroom her bedroom had, while someone kept her hair held back. With the throwing up, the tears came back, and she let herself fall on her ass on the ground, crying heavily.

"Again, Beca?" Jesse snapped sitting beside her "You can't scare me like that anymore! The sixth time, Beca!" Six times. That was the number of times Beca had tried to kill herself in the past eight years of her life. Six fucking unsuccessful times.

The first time, four months after being diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, she tried to cut her wrists, a classic, but her mother found her and she spent six months in a mental hospital. The second time, when she was twelve and after her parents' divorce, she had taken weed, alcohol and a mixture of all the pills she could find in her house. Again, survived, and spent another seven months and a half in a mental hospital. She was in High School around that, suffered severe bullying, and had zero friends, a situation that worsened when she could barely go to class, between being in the hospital for so long and just not wanting to be there, were she was always bored and frustrated, but she still passed with the highest qualifications due to her high IQ and her love for learning things on her own. She became one of those persons afraid of anything that take much more dangerous things and aren't careful at all with anything. The third time she tried to kill herself had been being fourteen, and she had combined alcohol with ibuprofen and cutting her wrists. Somehow, she survived. The fourth time, with fifteen years old, she had gotten so drunk and smoke so bad at a party she wasn't even invited at, Jesse had to take care of her or else she would have probably died. That time, it was all between Jesse, Beca, and her therapist. Then, the fifth time, she was sixteen and a half, she had gotten with dangerous companies she sure wasn't afraid of and thought she was cool, and took a mixture of meth and heroin with alcohol. That time she got really angry because was the one time she was the closest to making it. This last time, her sixth, she hadn't really thought _I'm going to kill myself tonight_. She just relieved her pain the only way she knew, which apparently almost killed her, and she wasn't even sorry. Why would her? Her family was catholic, and they taught her about a God she couldn't believe in because what kind of God would throw so much crap to her in eight years? She had tried. She used to cut herself a lot, but not anymore. She never drank or used drugs –and the effects afterwards, when her body craved for the drugs, had really helped her decide to step back from them- unless she wanted it to be for her last breath to happen, she had been going to her therapist every Saturday of her life for eight years now, and sometimes even group therapies and support groups, she had spent months in mental health hospitals, and on normal ones and she was hospital-phobic, but she didn't want to keep trying to live. If it was that hard, it couldn't be worth it. If she couldn't go through eight entire years of pure happiness, then it sure wasn't worthwhile.

"I'm sorry" Beca said between heavy sobs, her back convulsing as she hugged her knees "I'm so sorry Jesse" she wasn't crying for any other reason than the memories she had from the night before, because they weren't gone, but she was sorry for Jesse. Because he could not have a normal best girl friend that was there for him to give him the kind of friendship he craved for, he had to have a crazy friend who was always depreciating her own life. A reckless, stupid girl with a stupid syndrome.

Jesse was crying too, but because he had spent fifteen scary minutes trying to wake Beca up until he got her to throw up. He, however, quickly calmed himself and got Beca, who was only dressed in her underwear, into the bath tub, and then turned the cold shower on and got her all soaked. They both knew it was the best way of really waking up after drinking so much. He then pulled a dry towel around her, who was still crying a lot, and pulled some dry clothes out. He helped her get changed and calmed her down, and then they both sat on the bed. It was Sunday, and they had nothing to do.

"The videos of what happened last night have grown quite popular" Jesse said suddenly "everyone is commenting them, and saying pretty disgusting things of you. I've done my best to defend you and a friend who is very good with computers helped me get it out of Internet, but some people still remembers it and talks about it. But these things happen and in a couple weeks, they will all forget."

"Thanks" Beca said sitting in the bed hugging her knees "I don't know what to do, Jesse. I don't understand why what I did was wrong."

"Beca" Jesse stroke her knee with a tiny smile "You had the best intentions, you need Chloe to know that, that you had any intentions of hurting her. But you did, accidentally, you hit her boyfriend, and by the way you should let me take a look at your hand" he said softly taking her bruised left hand from her knees between his hands and, after getting a towel wet with cold water from the bathroom, sat again beside Beca wrapping her hand on the towel, and kept talking softly "accidentally, you hurt her. By hurting her boyfriend, who you put like if he was a womanizer and a very bad guy, and hurting her, putting her like if she was a whore, and a very dumb person. And you also interrupted her sexy moment and embarrassed them both in front of the whole university. I know you didn't mean to, that you have Aspergers and you can't see those situations like we, dumb Aspergers-less humans do, but Chloe has no idea. If she knew, she would forget about the whole problem, she could help you."

"I can't let her know" Beca said, stubbornly "And she hurt me too, you know? She basically told me I was no one! Not old enough or not intelligent enough to _know_ , and that I knew nothing about love, which isn't true! Just because I seem a robot without feelings or emotions, doesn't give anyone the right to…" she huffed "She called me a weirdo, and I think she did it just like people seem to usually do it, in a derogative tone, right?" Jesse nodded with a sad expression "I knew it! She may not have said as many hurtful words as I did, but Jesse, she used the ones that she knew could hurt me the most. She was my only friend besides you, I opened to her, not much yet, but more than anyone except you and my therapist" she said with a broken voice and a sob "She said she wanted to know nothing about me, so why should I go talk to her?"

"Because you need to prove her you're much more than what you look. That you know stuff, that she's wrong. And you need to let her know you're sorry because you are, alright? If you don't want to tell her the truth, then that's up to you, but at least clear your conscience. Do your part, don't worry about whether she'll do hers or not." Jesse said.

After a few minutes of sobbing quietly and sniffling, Beca breathed deeply.

"Can you carry me to a place? I'm not trusting myself enough to drive." Jesse smiled, and nodded.

Within a few minutes, Jesse was stopping his car in front of the Bella's house, and waited for her to come back after she pulled up her courage and went to the house. It was already past noon –she had missed it and Jesse had bought her a sandwich she ate before- and she guessed the Bellas would have probably recovered from their hangover a bit. Beca still felt a bit sensitive to lights and was pale and her eyes red from all the crying, but she guessed since she usually just looked lower than people's eyes while talking, it would be fine. She knocked the door and, a bit after, Aubrey opened it. She eyed Beca and, after what seemed like an internal war that went unnoticed to Beca, she sighed.

"Hey" Aubrey greeted her.

"Can I talk with Chloe, please?" Beca politely asked. Aubrey nodded and stepped aside to let her get in. Beca stood awkwardly by the door at the entrance, in front of long stairs and with some carton boxes here and there around her, probably from the new Bellas that had started moving in.

"Chloe!" Aubrey called walking to a room close by, Beca didn't follow her, but could hear Chloe's laugh and also Stacie's "Someone came to see you!" Aubrey never came back, and instead, Chloe did.

The ginger was walking cheerfully until her eyes caught Beca and then her expression went serious and crossed her arms around her chest, eyeing Beca with the coldest eyes Beca had never seen. The shorter brunette bit her lip and fidgeted with the rings on her fingers before daring to look at Chloe in the eye for five seconds, before giving up and just staring at her shoulder.

"I already told you last night; I don't want to hear from you anymore" Chloe said coldly.

"I know. I just wanted to apologize." Beca said.

"You already had time enough for that last night and you didn't use it."

Beca slowly nodded, and proceeded to turn around and put a hand on the door knob ready to go back to her dorm. The other Bellas had gone to the next room's door marc, and were standing there looking at Chloe and Beca, but the brunette didn't pay attention for it.

"Come on, talk" said suddenly Chloe after a huff, and after deliberating for a couple seconds, Beca nodded and turned around to face her, or her feet "No, if you want to apologize, you do it looking at me in the eyes, Beca. If not, we are not doing this." Beca nodded and, with some effort, pinned her eyes on Chloe's, and for a second she was speechless by the beauty in them.

"Could we talk alone, Chloe?" Beca asked in the sweetest way she could mutter, and Chloe shook her head.

"My house. My terms. Now talk, I don't have all day" Beca nodded, not imagining ever since I knew Chloe, the ginger could be that bitchy.

"It wasn't my intention to hurt you, or your boyfriend Tom, last night. I thought he was crossing the line with you and that you could be in danger, and I wanted to protect you. And then, words came wrong and I ended up offending everyone, and I didn't mean any of it to happen" Beca explained, and then she bit her lip again, fidgeting with her rings with a tic, and looked to the ground, trying to keep herself together "I'm sorry, Chloe. I really am. But you told me what a friend was supposed to do and I just wanted to be up to scratch."

"How could you ever think he was upsetting me? Don't you know anything about body language?" Chloe asked, with less coldness and more of the kind of exasperation that comes from trying to forgive a friend after he or she does something completely nonsensical.

"As a matter of fact, I don't. You were right" Beca shrugged and looked at her in the eyes again. She breathed deeply "I'm no genius. I'm actually really dumb. I know nothing about couples because I never formed one, but you were wrong assuming I knew nothing about love, because I actually know a lot about it. Just because I seem to be a rude asshole, it doesn't mean I don't know what love is. I'm not Voldemort, you know?" she shrugged again "And yes, of course, I am a weirdo. I am the weirdest person you, hopefully, will ever meet. As you know, I won't know a person hurt themselves unless they say so or lose consciousness, I guess. I don't get irony, sarcasm, most of the jokes in the world, and I'm the crappiest of friends, that you know now too. The only friend I ever had hasn't gotten a proper phone call or text conversation in the sixteen years we've been friends for. I guess I never had enough to practice or learn from, but that's my problem, I didn't came here for anyone to feel pity towards me, I just want you to understand this is who I am. It sucks, but it's me, and you didn't know when you decided we should be friends, so I understand that's over know."

"Okay" Chloe nodded "Could you guys go?" she asked looking back to the Bellas, who immediately went away, and then the ginger looked back at Beca, more softened out. She managed a little smile "It's okay Beca. Forgiven and forgotten." Beca nodded and sniffled. She thought getting Chloe to forgive her would make her feel better, but it had barely made an effect. She still felt as crappy as the night before. She was incredibly angry to herself, for being so dumb, but she was mostly angry at her Aspergers, that was constantly fucking her life up, and she knew she would never have a normal life, and she would have to fix problems like that one constantly. She just felt incredibly depressed and angry, and sick of having that life and that once again, she failed to end it "Can we still be friends?"

"I guess" Beca nodded staring at her feet and cleared her throat so Chloe couldn't tell she was at the verge of sobbing uncontrollably, and her eyes were watery, tears being held back relentlessly, so she kept her face down "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"When you called me a weirdo… I don't get tones of voice so, when you did it, was it in a mean way, like in a derogative way or… or was it more like defining how I am, without any hidden meanings?"

"It… it was derogative. I wanted to hurt you." Chloe recognized with shame in her voice, that Beca didn't caught, so she just nodded, still not looking up "I'm sorry for that too, you know? I am never than mean with anybody. I'm sorry I was so bitchy with you."

"It's okay. You weren't saying anything that wasn't true, after all" Beca said, and turned around to leave.

"Beca…" Chloe said extending a hand to hug her.

"Please" then, a loud sob was perfectly heard, and then a sniffle, and Chloe's hand retracted before it had ever gotten to touch Beca "we are okay. This has nothing to do with you. I have my own problems, and I need to go." She said not bothering to cover her crying voice anymore, and Chloe nodded and helped her open the door, and saw her leave and get into Jesse's car, her head down and her back convulsing. She had no idea what was wrong with Beca, but whatever it was, it immediately worried her.

The rest of the week went down smoothly, Beca pretended so well that everything was alright, and did such a great work at class and with the Bellas, anybody worried anymore. Except Jesse, who knew her all too well, but Beca had left him with no other choice than to just go on with her game. The University turns out, didn't care that much about Beca's video once it was out of the Internet, they messed with her for a few days, but she was such an invisible person nobody even saw that it was worthwhile to mess with her. Then, Saturday came, and Beca had so much to talk with her therapist, she didn't got to arrive to the rehearsals not even for ten minutes. She felt awful, because she had never completely skipped one rehearsal, so she bought some lunch for everyone and went to visit the Bella's house. Chloe quickly opened the door and grinned when she saw Beca.

"Hey! Come in, girls, look who came!" the other Bellas were just as happy to see her, and even more when they saw Beca had brought Chinese food, so they all sat on the grass in the garden for an improvised kind of picnic, given the fact that it was a really good day "How was that studying session? Are you ready for that huge test you had on Monday?"

"Oh, yeah, about that…" Beca sighed nervously and let her empty jar of noodles on the grass. Her therapist had told her it was time to be a bit more honest "I wasn't studying. I have no tests next week, and I was at the doctor last week, but not buying books, and I didn't had to go to the dentist the week before, and my laptop never broke, and that I know of, my father never had a leak." She looked up to see everyone staring at her, ones frowning, others just confused "I never lie, only if it is to protect something important, but I lied with what I did every Saturday, only with that, I swear, and it's time to come clean. Every Saturday I wasn't rehearsing, I was at therapy. I kind of am obligated to go every week, and my therapist closes on Sundays and on Saturday's afternoon, and because I've got class every morning out of the weekends, and study, and also we have rehearsals every afternoon, and I also work on the radio station many nights, the only times I can go to therapy are on Saturday mornings, and no matter how hard I've tried, I haven't been able to try hours that were more convenient. My therapist has an schedule too, and I can't just choose the hours I'd love the most. I'm sorry I lied."

The Bellas looked at each other and slowly seem to relax and kept eating, not really angry about it.

"Okay" Aubrey simply said "Thanks for let us know though. Had you done it before, I would have told you we had no problem with changing the rehearsals to Saturdays' afternoons, right Chloe?"

"Sure" Chloe shrugged "But we understand. I mean, nobody goes around letting some people they barely know, know they go to therapy. It's your private life, we get it."

"Yeah, no problem Shorty" Fat Amy smiled.

"So it's okay?" Beca said surprised "You are not going to bombard me with questions?"

"No, why would we do that?" Emily said.

"Unless you'd feel better talking about it, I mean, we are friends after all, we are here for you if anything" Stacie commented while eating.

"Oh" Beca nodded slowly in disbelief "Like for real? We are friends?"

"Sure, silly!" Chloe smiled at her "and I'm saying it with love, not messing with you. We are all friends, sisters before misters or whatever. If you need to talk, we are all here for you, and if you don't feel like it, then it's okay too. But I'm curious about something if you don't mind."

Beca smiled a bit and nodded.

"Go" Beca encouraged her.

"The reason why you were so upset the other day, more than because we had argued, was it more because of the same reason you go to therapy every week?" Chloe asked looking seriously at her.

"Yes" Beca said nodding.

"Is it because your parents are divorced?" Jessica asked, and Beca looked confusedly at her "I saw him kissing a woman in the Campus the other day, but she looked nothing like you, so I assumed she was your stepmother."

"Oh" Beca shook her head and smiled "That's Sheila, you're right and very observant, she's my step mother. My parents divorced when I was twelve, and my mother lives in Maine, where I'm from. I'm long over that, though" she explained "No…" she shrugged, she felt like saying it, just saying it, but at the same time, she had no courage for that "They're not the reason I go to therapy. I'm the reason they've gone many times, though. But I go because of me, you know? We are all whole completely different worlds, and in my case, I have a lot of trouble understanding my own world. It's much more complex and difficult than that, but is as much as I can say for now."

The weeks went by fast and nicely after that, and Beca felt much better by the time Regionals came, and they completely won them, so when they were happily getting out of the building with their award in Aubrey's hands, and all of them quite happy and cheery, Beca knew she didn't feel that good in a long time. Even Jesse was happy for her, although the Trebles were only the seconds. They were all walking down the corridor to go out for dinner when a guy Beca knew all too well approached them, or mostly, approached Beca, who was walking beside Aubrey and Chloe.

"Bec!" he greeted, and the others stopped walking and looked at them questioningly.

"Don't you call me that" Beca said with her monotonous normal voice.

"Oh, rude much? I came to see you, you were great!" he said cheerfully.

"Just go Justin, don't pretend to be my friend because you are not" Beca said, and he frowned.

"What? Why? Do I have to have Aspergers to be your friend, but not to be the father of your child?" Everyone froze. The Bellas stared at them with wide eyes, and the Trebles behind them came closer to hear what the stopping was about. Beca stared at Justin with wide, wet eyes.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Aubrey asked rudely at Justin.

"Haven't you told them?" Justin stared at Beca.

"Justin please…" Beca looked at him with pleading eyes, tears threatening to fall, and Justin grinned and looked at Aubrey rising his voice.

"Well, I'm Justin. Beca and I are old friends from high school and well, what were we, Becs, fifteen? She has Aspergers, and of course was a complete lonely loser until I helped her out. Yeah, it was a great night. I took her virginity and then she fucked our unborn up and lost it as the incompetent piece of…" but before he could finish the sentence, Aubrey had slapped him across the face, and everyone stared stupefied. Beca was in too much shock to do anything, so Chloe took her from the arm.

"Come on sweetie, let's go home" she whispered tenderly.

"Justin?!" Jesse had come running after hearing him from behind the crowds, and had gotten to run pushing people to the sides so he could pass "What the fuck?" he had heard everything, and took Justin by his t-shirt, punching him in the belly as strongly as possible "I thought we made it clear you had to stay the fuck away from her! I'm gonna kill you, you son of a…!" But before he could keep hitting him, Beca ran away, and he distracted "Beca!" she looked to her back, the Bellas went after her, and he looked at Justin "I'm not done with you, you rapist!" and ran after Beca.

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 **Jake I'd love to hear more from you!**

 **Everyone, if you want, feel free to leave a review, it would make me fall in love with you.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Well hi again! You guys have me so amazed, impressed, stunned and fascinated I've decided as long as I'm this happy, it's okay to update new chapters quite often, I usually take some days more but I'm trying to write fast and publish fast. So, I'm gonna try answer all the Guest reviews now, because I'm always hundred percent super thankful for all the reviews, and I always –if I skipped you please let me know- respond all the reviews, but if they are from Guests, I can only do it here. So if you aren't a Guest who left a review, you can just go lower and start reading, let me tell you is an emotional chapter, and I've been told I should let people know of these things.**

 **Guest from October 31:** **Thanks so much! I think you'll like this chapter quite a lot, it has to do with what you said.**

 **Guest from October 31 (2):** **I hadn't realized how much I needed this either! Thanks a lot mate!**

 **Guest from November 3:** **Beca is able to lie, only that she is not comfortable with that and she never does it unless it's to protect something really important.**

 **Guest from November 3 (2)** **: Thank you very much, love your excitement.**

 **VanesaR:** **Thanks girl, it's right, I'm happy to see you think the same way I do. Poor Beca, so misunderstood by the world.**

 **Guests from November 4 chapters 2 &3: ****It's beautiful to see how addicted you are. I feel ya!**

 **CrimsonMoonlight:** **Thank you! 3**

 **Sam:** **Thanks, I'm learning a lot too!**

 **Cally:** **You're totally right and I've really tried, but it's hard because the format changes a lot from Word to the web, and when I finally get to see how it's gonna be in the Web I've already finished the chapters and about to publish them and then breaking paragraphs to make them shorter would mean breaking Grammar laws of organizing paragraphs by topics. But I'll keep trying 'cause it's true. But if you find the appearance bothers you a lot, FF has settings that are right before the chapter starts and there you can change the lightning, the sizes, and many things that maybe make it easier for you, I use those settings a lot when reading fics.**

 **Guests from November 5 chapter 3:** **I love your excitement! And about that question, I hadn't really thought about it until you asked, but now you say it I think it could have something to do, totally. But also, you know, for her, body language is something she really has to mull over, and that even if with the years and help from her loved ones she can get to some understanding and get certain things, is still like trying to learn a new language; you may know some words and expressions, but you never know if they're saying what they want to mean or it's sarcasm, or you may not know some words or expressions sometimes. So I imagine Chloe's situation stressed her a lot, because she could not tell what was going on the same she couldn't really tell what was going on until she suddenly was being raped, you know? And I imagine she just went like "just in case, better prevent this than being sorry afterwards if I did nothing." And she did it.**

 **Jake:** **Jake friend, you have no idea how much you are helping me out, seriously, you must be an angel sent from heaven or something. Thanks for replying to my questions too, I'm just so thankful to have you because you make me have more faith in what I write and be less insecure about it because I know I have your approval. This chapter is quite dramatic too, and I actually went over it twice because I wasn't sure I was portraying Beca's Aspergers correctly in this one, so I made a few last minute changes and I think it's better know. From time to time I go all over everything I've researched to keep it fresh in my mind and absorb that way to be as best as I can. Thanks again Jake, I love you like it so much, it's a relief and I'm flattered you're so good with me and this fic!**

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Chapter 4:

It didn't matter how much they looked for Beca, even calling her father, there was no way to find her. In more than twelve hours, nobody knew anything about her, and not even police could find her. She had vanished, didn't pick up her phone, and Trebles, Bellas, and Beca's dad and step mother, with police, teamed up together to find her, but after fourteen hours, police decided she didn't want to be found, and that they should wait a day and then, if she was still gone, they would give her as a lost girl, and put patrols to go find her.

It was noon already, and, tired from searching for Beca the whole night, the Bellas and Jesse decided to have lunch together at the Bellas' place so Jesse could explain them what happened.

"This guy just raped her, and that was it. She got really depressed, she was already frequent with depression because yeah, she has Aspergers, so this just worsened it, and she almost killed herself, but fortunately, she didn't. But she killed a child she didn't know she was carrying, and that got her even worse. She was some time in a mental health hospital, and she already went once a week to a therapist since she was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome when she was ten, so it was same old routine" Jesse was explaining, fidgeting with a food he had barely touched "I wasn't that night to prevent her for being raped. She has always been very independent, sometimes she went to parties or with bad people and nobody could even start trying to guess where she was. That was one of those nights. He wasn't supposed to find her, police never got enough to arrest him, but her father and I talked with his parents, who fortunately believed us and between that and threatening the kid, it was supposed to be over."

"Where do you think she is?" Chloe know her "You've known her for the longest."

Jesse shook his head.

"We are Mainers. She barely knows this place or Atlanta, there's no place I could think of apart from the auditorium and a few more we've already been at and she wasn't there. Even if we had grown here, she still has Aspergers, and she is still very independent, she would have never let me or anyone know she particularly liked a place. She loves routines, she had a very scheduled day after day, and she has already missed the radio station in the morning time, so I guess she has no interest in keeping up with her schedule. If she doesn't want to be found, believe me, nobody will find her. What has her dad and me so worried is that, she has actually tried to kill herself… between you guys and I, six times in eight years. But her father only knows of four, and it's better that way, she already talks about it with her therapist. But she could go for the seventh now, and after failing six times, I think she won't fail anymore."

"So we really have to find her" Aubrey summarized, and Jesse nodded.

"Alright, let's just think, where would we go if we wanted to be alone and we were incredibly sad?" Stacie asked. There was a minute of silence, and then Chloe got up.

"I think I know where she might be" she said, and Jesse stood up too "No offense, Jesse, but I think it's better if I go alone. If she's not alright, and wants to be alone, she won't want much people to go and harass her, she will close up."

"But you don't know how to deal with her Aspergers. You should let me go."

"I'll find a way. I think I understand her, from woman to woman… anyway, if I need you, I swear I'll call you. But now I'm going alone."

It was winter, past New Years' Eve, and despite being past noon, it was still really cold and snowy outside, so Chloe brought with her the warmest of her blankets so she had it for Beca if she found her. In the outsides of Barden, there was a tiny river that was crossed by a tiny bridge, and the river had too little volume, it was mostly water running between stones with some fishes on it, and the water was very clear and hadn't froze, only around the rocks. Chloe knew Beca had seen the place because it was easy to see from the road when one was on the way to downtown, where Chloe knew Beca would have to go for her therapy sessions every Saturday, and she had a gut feeling that Beca would be there. The bridge wasn't for cars, only for people, and she easily got to the shore of the river, and not long after, she spotted a figure sitting under the bridge, hugging her knees and crying silently. There was snow around them, and Beca was sitting in a rock with her back against the bridge's wall, and her feet a few centimeters from the shore of the river. Chloe sent a text to Ben Mitchell and another to Jesse and Aubrey letting them know she found Beca alive and safe, and that she was going to take care of her, and walked slowly and cautiously to her, and saw she had her forehead rested on her knees and she sobbed very quietly.

"Beca?" Chloe asked cautiously, with a tender voice, but Beca didn't seem to care. The ginger sat in the same rock as Beca, right beside her, and pulled the blanket she had brought over the brunette, making sure it covered her properly, and then, afraid that she would bother the brunette too much if she hugged her like she so desperately wanted to, she settled with making circles in Beca's back with a finger "Beca, it's alright. We know everything, but we don't care, we are still your friends, we all still love you and care about you. Everyone's so worried; we've been looking for you ever since you left. We all really want to help you sweetie, nobody is going to mess with you, nobody hates you or anything" she said tenderly and slowly, taking her own time and giving Beca time to really listen to her and believe her "That guy Justin spent the night in prison, and Aubrey and Jesse got to him before anybody else and kicked his ass nicely. Your dad didn't have enough to keep him arrested, but police did tell the boy if he ever got any close to you again, they would have him in prison for harass." Chloe leaned forward trying to catch a glimpse of Beca's face, unsuccessfully. The brunette wasn't crying anymore, she was just sniffling and breathing deeply and soundly "It's really cold in here Beca, you could get sick. What do you think if we go to my car and stay there, or go somewhere else? We could do whatever you want."

Beca nodded silently, and sat straight using her hands to hold the blanket tighter against her. Her cheeks were pink, so was her nose, and her lips were pale. Her cold was understandable, given the fact that it was December in Atlanta –Barden was in the outsides of Atlanta- where they had been the night before for the competition, and she had been all alone walking errands around Atlanta for the past fifteen hours or so, without a car to go back home, and nobody had been able to find her.

"I'm hungry" Beca whispered "I wasted a-all my money i-in a motel last night" her voice was hoarse and trembling, part from the crying, and part from the freezing temperatures. She was only wearing her performing attire and a long black coat that wasn't warm enough to be all that time walking around a snowy city.

Chloe felt her heart shrink, she herself was cold and was properly dressed, she couldn't even imagine Beca. All sad, confused, hungry and alone in a cold city in winter. And something that got to Chloe a lot was the fact that it was one of the fewest times she had heard a major grade of emotion in Beca's voice, hearing so much in that voice she didn't even know where to start. She then nodded quickly and stood up, motioning with her hand for Beca to stand up too.

"Come on, we'll go to the Bellas' house and you have a room there to get warm and comfy or maybe have a warm shower while I prepare something for you to eat, okay?" Beca nodded and followed Chloe until they got into the car and Chloe started driving fast, but not too much. Beca just closed her eyes with her head on the window hugging herself with the blanket around her tiny body, enjoying the warm temperature of the car and still sniffling a bit from time to time. Chloe drove in silence, not knowing what to say but also knowing the circumstances were kind of special since Beca wasn't any other ordinary girl, so she would let Beca decide what to do.

"Could you do me another favor Chloe?" Beca asked, more calmed, when Chloe was parking in front of the house. Chloe hummed in acceptance and nodded looking at her. "Jesse, my dad and the Bellas are all there, right?"

"Jesse and the Bellas, yes. Jesse sent your father home to rest, after we were looking for you all night. But don't worry about him, I already texted him and let him and the others know I found you."

"Right. Well, they are going to have so many questions, and… I'm too tired, emotionally and physically, to have proper answers" Beca expressed, looking at her knees, which still had, like her hair, some snow around.

"Don't worry about that. I'll take care of them, you just go upstairs, keep walking until you find the attic, we made a nice room out of it and it's completely ready for you. No one will bother you there and it's calm and quiet, although it doesn't have a door, just the stairs, and it's kind of tiny. But it has its own bathroom" Chloe explained.

"It'll be perfect for me" Beca said honestly "Thanks Chloe. For everything… I'm still assimilating the fact that you didn't run away after knowing I'm an Aspie." Beca whispered not looking at her, and Chloe smiled a bit.

"I would never run away from you Beca. You are my friend, our friend, and friends do whatever they can to make each other happy, remember?" Beca curved her lips into a tiny smile, but it was enough for her "Come on, let's get you warm. I'll let you some warm pajamas if you want."

Beca nodded and they got into the house. As they had suspected, the Bellas and Jesse immediately appeared at the living room's doorstep, but Chloe motioned for Beca to go upstairs, which she did without blinking twice. Chloe stood by the door to confront the others.

"She's tired, cold, and hungry, so I'm gonna make her something for lunch. With that I mean, she's in any condition to be interrogated, pressured, or to talk about anything at all unless she starts it on her own, and that she will probably take a very long nap" she quickly, but kindly, said "She's very thankful for our efforts trying to find her, but she can't do the talking part right now, and she's an Aspie, so I guess hugging her won't really help, right?" she looked at Jesse, who sadly nodded "We better just let her be until she feels better enough to talk if that's what she want, she also has a therapist anyway so…" she shrugged "Jesse, she's in good hands, I assure you."

Jesse looked thoughtful for a second, looking to the stairs, and then nodded.

"Thanks Chloe. Uh, when you texted you found her, I thought she would need some clothes. I went and, well, there's a bag in the living with clean underwear, a pajama and warmer clothes in case she wants to stay here for a while." Jesse explained.

"I'll go warm up some leftovers from lunch" Aubrey said, going to the kitchen.

"I'll go help her" Emily added, going after her. Chloe nodded nervously.

"I'm gonna go check on her" Chloe said "please don't be too loud, okay? Even if it's the attic, it will still be heard if you cross the line."

"Don't worry Chlo, we'll be good" Stacie assured.

"Yeah, tell her we're here for whatever she needs, anytime" Cynthia added. Chloe nodded, smiled, and left upstairs.

When she arrived the attic, a bit breathless from running upstairs, she found her blanket perfectly folded on the desk's chair, but a bunch of clothes with some snow lying on the ground. A small smile appeared on Chloe's face with the realization that Beca cared more about Chloe's things, that about her own. And then people said they were rude and cold, crazy. Then, the ginger heard the shower open, so she took the clothes and put them in the basket they had in each bedroom for the clothes that were to be washed, and put the shoes aside. It was a tiny room, with an en suite little bathroom, the ceiling formed a light triangle due to the roof, and the only window was in the ceiling surrounded by the roof's tiles, and in that moment it was closed and had a bit of snow covering it. There was an individual bed that was still big for an individual bed, a desk with a chair, a bookshelf, a puff bean chair, a chest of drawers, and some shelves in the walls. There was also some light decoration, and the room was pretty warm and welcoming in general. Chloe had taken Beca's clothes bag before coming up, so she opened it and took the pajama out, and knocked the bathroom's door.

"Beca? I'm Chloe!"

"I'm showering!"

"I know, I'm going to give you a pajama Jesse brought you alright? I'll keep my eyes closed!" she closed her eyes, opened the door, quickly left the clothes by the sink, knowing where it was, and left. She sat on the bed and, by the time Beca came out, with a tired face, looking much less pale, and a warm pajama on, Aubrey had already left a tray of food on the desk and Chloe had already organized Beca's stuff from her bag into the drawers and sat by the feet of the bed, looking around distractedly.

"Thanks a lot Chloe" Beca murmured fidgeting with a ring in her finger while looking down and going to the tray and picking up a sandwich. Chloe shook her head and smiled.

"That's what friends are for" Beca sat on the chair by the desk while eating, and when she finished, she went to get comfortable on the bed, covering herself properly with the duvet with Chloe's assistance. Chloe sat on the side of the bed and Beca curled "How are you feeling?" she asked tenderly.

"Like shit" Beca said openly "but you did a lot. Shower, food, and now sleeping are all I needed. So, Jesse told you all everything about everything I guess."

"He didn't dwell much on the details, but yeah. He told us what happened with that guy of last night, he told us about your Aspergers', and nobody took it bad" Chloe explained "and with that I mean in the good way, nobody felt nothing but love and compassion towards you. They still wanted me to let you know they're willing to do whatever you need and whenever you want for you."

Beca nodded vaguely, snuggling more under the covers with her eyes closed. She felt like her head was about to explode from all the doubts, the questions, and the embarrassment in her mind, but she was tired above it all, so she focused on one step at a time, and now, it was resting.

"Chloe, could you do me one last favor?" she whispered after some time in silence.

"Sure" Chloe nodded, holding back the temptation of caressing Beca's messy hair.

"Whenever I wake up, I want to talk with Jesse. Maybe you could call him?"

"Yeah, I'll take care of that. By the way, your cell was without battery in your pockets, it's now charging on the desk" Chloe informed with a soft whisper, realizing Beca's breath was evening quickly, indicating she was about to fall asleep. Chloe smiled when she realized the brunette was definitely sleeping, and leaned forward stroking the locks of brown hair that fell over Beca's forehead, putting them away softly and leaning to put a soft kiss on her forehead "Sweet child…" Chloe shook her head and leaned back "May you sleep well Bec..." she stood up, took the tray with the empty ashes, and left the room to go down to the living room and let herself fall on the couch beside Aubrey, who handed her a mug of tea from the coffee table, and Jesse, who was sitting at Aubrey's other side, with Flo sitting beside him too. Emily, Fat Amy, Stacie, Ashley and Jessica were in the other couch y Lilly and Cynthia-Rose were on puff bean chairs. They all looked drained after having been awake all night and had taken only a couple short naps ever since they arrived home. It was Christmas holiday soon, so they hadn't a lot else to do, because teachers sent less stuff as holidays arrived. The whole group was holding either coffee or tea mugs in their hands.

"How is she?" Jesse asked.

"Took a shower, ate properly, and fell asleep rather quickly" Chloe explained "she also mentioned she wanted you to be the first person she talked with when she woke up." Jesse nodded.

"Did she say where she was all night?" Emily asked.

"She slept in a motel and spent the rest of the time just walking errands around Atlanta, so I guess we should be thankful the cold didn't kill her." Chloe replied, and Jesse chuckled.

"That would be ironic, all the times she unsuccessfully tried, and then all this time all she had to do was stay in the streets all night in December" he commented.

"You aren't mad at her, aren't you?" Aubrey asked looking at him.

"Of course not, I've known her forever, I understand" Jesse replied "But nothing stops me from being angry with that Justin. Damn bugger, had I gotten my hands on him back in Portland, and he would've never dared to get any closer to her ever again."

"What I don't understand" Fat Amy said "is how he got away without even going to prison in Portland. I mean, he's a fucking rapist, he should be there forever."

"There was a trial, back in Portland" Jesse explained "but we only had Beca's word, a fifteen years old girl who got drunk at a party and did something she regretted, that's how they saw it. They probably have loads of those things every year and little are true rape cases, so I guess they thought it was just that. And we barely got a couple witnesses, but at a party where most of them where older than eighteen or nineteen, what do you expect? They were all too drunk, or too drugged up to remember, and the few that remembered something, only remembered them talking or being a bit touchy, nothing else. And what everyone thought was that she was looking for something to happen, not that she couldn't actually understand his body language and get he was about to rape her. So the judge made his own mental version of what happened and nothing we said was even considered. We came with doctor's documents and stuff, proving she had Aspergers and just couldn't have known what he wanted, that she wasn't even a touchy person, I spoke to them, her family did, my family did, but it was all for nothing. They ended up saying it was consensual sex, and let the bastard go free. Then Beca got really depressed, and one day went to another party where she purposely crossed the line with alcohol, smoking and stuff, and ended up really bad, but I took care of it and between her therapist and I, nobody else knew nothing." He stopped and took a deep breath "Sometime later, we were at our high school and she made a teacher go find me because she had severe abdominal pain and wouldn't let the nurse touch her, so I convinced her to go to the hospital and helped her stand seeing a doc, then she started bleeding, and apparently she was pregnant and was having an abortion, so it wasn't followed by good weeks. But I told her if she tried anything, I wasn't going to cover her, and her parents would sent her to a mental health hospital for the third time, and she had gotten out traumatized from the first two, so she was a good girl. That's how fair justice is sometimes." He shrugged, and leaned back against the back of the couch.

The Bellas then proceeded to make all kinds of upset comments about how unfair that had been, and how innocent and good Beca was, and the kind of comments she would have loved to hear because she never had such strong support from any friend but Jesse in her whole life. But instead, she was snuggled in her bed, or at least the bed that was temporary assigned to her, too comfortable in her warm, welcoming spot, too immersed in her dreams, to even start caring about what happened anywhere else.

When she woke up, it was already past seven in the afternoon, and she opened her eyes to the smell of clean sheets and the shampoo she had used earlier, and now her arms and legs had spread under the duvet and she was facing the wooden trunks that were in the ceiling supporting it. She quickly remembered where she was and what things had happened in the last day, and then suddenly coughed, and hated herself because anyone with her IQ would purposely go as crazy as she had went the night before and walked around a city in winter, and then have a shower, and get in bed with the hair wet, she deserved that cold she was certain she had gotten. She got out of bed, her mind already getting anxious about the social gatherings that were waiting for her, the explanations, the faces she had learnt to understand, her father's disappointment, Jesse's… And then, as she found her school bag next to her bed with some of her clothes, so she took a sweatshirt, put it on, and sat on the bed to put her shoes on because she was cold, as she did all of this, she started getting angry. Angry at her Aspergers, which wasn't new, angry at her luck, that got fucking Justin back -and what was even doing in Atlanta? He was from Portland, that was quite far away, and as far as she knew, he should be in college somewhere and he definitely wasn't in Barden, she checked the whole students' lists before she even packed her bags to go- she was angry that she did something reckless and stupid again, that got her sick, her father probably too worried to even eat properly, her friends worried, everybody looking all night for her instead of sleeping… She hated dramas, and she hated even more be the one causing them, but it was always happening. At the same time she felt all the anger, she felt all the sadness that come from spending a day wandering around somewhere strange sinking in your memories of rape, miscarriage, hospitals, mental hospitals, pills, drugs, alcohol, smoke, trying to learn to be a normal human being who understood social stuff, failing, trying to end everything, failing, trying to have friends and maybe even a successful love life, failing, and then, for example, saying goodbye to all of her grandparents in the same years she had to deal with her Aspergers, and never, not even when they were sick and dying, being able to show a human side to them that could look at them in the eye, hug them, kiss them, or show how much she cared for them like they so much wanted. Beca just relived each of her bad memories with her damn good memory, and suddenly she didn't even know why she was the saddest, or what could she do with that lump in her throat. And now, she had to explain everything, even if she didn't understand it herself, because her secrets, or a good part of them, were out. She had to explain things as painful as it was to know her grandparents, that she loved with all her being and that were always so good with her, and did so much for her, left thinking she didn't care one bit. That she was some sort of monster. But, wasn't that what everybody ended up thinking?

She then took a deep breath, opened her eyes, that she didn't realize she had closed, to face the floor, and then stood up, took a notebook she had always on the bag, that was actually her school's bag, took another deep breath, and as fast as she could to avoid having doubts and regrets, went downstairs. She barely knew the house for having been there from time to time to rehearse sometimes, show mixes to the girls, or helping them with some class stuff while pretending she wasn't that intelligent, just had very intelligent family, but she easily found the living room, and weirdly enough, everybody was there. Jesse had taken a book and was reading it quite focused on it, Chloe was chatting with Aubrey, Fat Amy, and Flo, Emily was probably writing a new song on the couch, Jessica and Stacie were focused on something in the TV, that was at a low tone, Ashley was just sitting thinking on her things, and Lilly was playing with her cell or something. Beca knocked on the doorframe, and everyone moved their eyes to her, and then composed smiles, which was weird for Beca, but she got past it quickly, and bit her lip softly walking inside and trying to look at everyone without really focusing on anyone's faces.

"Hey" Beca said, and she was the first surprised with how her voice sounded, not like a person with a heavy cold, but like a person who spent the night singing with her whole throat or had just smoked a pack of cigarettes, so she cleared her voice, and then, she sounded at least a bit better.

"Beca" Jesse stood up, but didn't move towards her, knowing it would make her anxious "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, yes I did" Beca replied nodding and sat on the couch with her notebook on her knees and between her hands, next to Chloe, Aubrey, Fat Amy and Flo. Jesse also went back to his seat "So uh… firstly, I guess I should say thank you all for everything. Looking for me, finding me, making food for me, bringing my bag with some of my most important stuff, giving me a room and a bed, and just handling things so well so I could have time to rest and clear my mind a bit. I know today has been kind of crazy, and I know you're not used to the craziness that sometimes happens around me like Jesse and I sort of are, so I'm sorry you got in the middle of it all. I'm sorry I ran away, I'm sorry a stupid asshole came and make you think God knows what about me, I'm sorry instead of spending the night celebrating you spent it looking for me with all the snow and everything, I'm sorry you had to see how things get then, how my father gets, and of course the quid of the question, the Aspergers thing" she nodded and shrugged to herself, mostly "I'm so, so sorry you had to find out like this. And also know that I was raped, lost a baby and… you told them about my obsession with trying to kill myself, didn't you?" she added in a joking tone to break the tension a bit, looking at Jesse, who nodded "Yeah… well, now you know. The other stuff, I would have probably never told a single soul if it hadn't come up like this, but that I have Aspergers Syndrome, that I wanted to tell you so bad since so long. I guess I was scared it would happen what it also happens, people go away, people realize they were right and I'm the weirdest between the weirdoes, and I would be lonely and depressed again, and I didn't thought I could stand it again. I already tried to kill myself the night Chloe and I fought at that party and it didn't even had something to do with you" she added looking at Chloe, who was suddenly very pale "It had absolutely zero to do with you, I swear. It just, I've had Aspergers since forever, being diagnosed was just putting a name and a explanation to a bunch of weird stuff I did or did not during ten anxious years, but it was always there, I had no friends in Elementary except Jesse because of that, for God's sakes. And you can't even start to imagine how many days, how many little, little stuff can happen to me in a normal day, in a normal hour, how many things I can see, hear, or something, that will be like kicks on my butt. And sometimes more than kicks on my butt are stabs in the stomach, that I've had to grow up and learn to get over them and not let them get to me that much, but the entire Universe can't go tiptoeing around me just in case I end up dead one day, so please don't do it because I'm still trying hard to learn, I might be really intelligent, but that's the only topic I'm worse at than I am at dancing" she said, again trying to put some humor there "Just don't worry too much, I already have anything I could need and I know somehow things will get better, someday. And you guys can ask me anything you want to know, answers are the least I can give. I know I said I wanted to talk with you first" she added looking at Jesse in the eyes with a tiny smile "guess I changed my mind as I walked downstairs. But I do have one thing to tell you."

"Yeah, what?" Jesse asked with a grin.

"I did keep my promise, I always do" she replied putting a serious face he mirrored, confused "The fifth time, when I drank so much, and played with those really dangerous drugs? When you made me promise I would never, ever try to kill myself again? I kept that promise. There was never sixth time" she explained, but Jesse only looked more confused "I didn't actually try to kill myself the night of the party. To try, you have to think that's what you want to do, and you have to put a certain amount of effort into thinking how and what are you going to do. And if I had died that night, I would've had to kick my own ass because it would've been an accident I learned a lot from, that came from how becloud I was from all the thinking, crying and just being sad. What really happened was that I drank, but not enough to kill myself and I was controlling it, but because I've already drank a lot in my life since too young for my own good, I knew nothing bad could happen. But then I felt a panic attack rising, and I had my anxiety pills, so I took them, the normal amount recommended by the doc, nothing crazy, and was stupid enough to think nothing would actually happen if I took them while drinking because if I had really tried to kill myself before and nothing happened, why would it happen now? I didn't even realize I had passed out until you woke me up. The pills I threw up weren't drugs, were my anxiety meds. I kept that promise." She quickly went through her notebook, the girls looking expectantly, and Beca opened a marked page, and gave the opened notebook to Jesse, who opened it "You asked, I promised."

" _Never, ever, try to kill yourself. Maybe not as many people as you'd wish will care, but I will. And it will break me. Jesse._ " He read the words he wrote three years ago, closed the notebook, and gave it back to her "Why didn't you say? Why did you let me think you had done it again?" Jesse asked with wet eyes.

"Because when you woke me up, I realized I didn't even feel horrified about what could have happened, I didn't until days after. So I figured if I cared so little, then it was the same at having tried. But my therapist said it wasn't the same, and I realized it was right, and I was looking for the right time to tell you, but when's the right time uh?" she shrugged "I never broke my promise." She whispered, and grinned looking at him, actually proud of herself "And you know what else? I had six bucks in my pocket tonight, and instead of wasting them buying some crap to drink under a bridge or something, I found a nice motel, and a warm bed. And when the woman offered a glass of gin out of pity, I guess, I refused. I tried absolutely nothing today, didn't try to throw myself from anywhere even, didn't even think about wanting to end anything. I just wanted five minutes to figure things out on my own, that ended up being a lot of hours" Beca explained, with her own eyes wet and a huge smile plastered on her face, and then before she knew it, Jesse was giving her the tightest hug ever. She awkwardly rolled her eyes and smiled patting his back, feeling him sobbing "I'm really sorry for everything I've put you through Jesse, I really am" she whispered by his ears. She looked over his shoulder and saw the Bellas had quickly left to give them some privacy.

The whole time Beca had been talking, she had actually showed emotion in her voice, maybe because some things, you can't talk about them without getting a bit emotional, or maybe because she cared more, or because it just had to be that way. Although she couldn't stare at anyone's faces most of the time, at least she tried to get as close as she could, her eyes wandering around the people. She had felt the embarrassment that comes with being the focus of attention too much, and from doing something reckless and stupid, but she didn't lie once, and she meant it when she said she was sorry, what also meant she would do her best so it never happened again. She had to push herself mentally to talk and time after time remember to just keep talking, figuring if she did it quickly it would be like ripping a bandage and hurt less, because for her talking so openly at to so many people all at once was really hard, but she pushed herself, she made the actual effort, because she found they deserved it, and it mattered. If they had spent who knew how many hours looking for her with the snow and the dark and the cold, she could do an effort and explain herself as much as she could.

"You don't get to do this Beca!" he snapped rubbing his eyes while putting away right in the moment Beca was starting to think she couldn't handle the hug for much longer "There are many people like you out there and most of them don't even try to hurt themselves once. Or run away. And I'm here, I am always here for you, and you could come to me, you know? I wouldn't fail."

"I know sweetie" Beca found she understood his body language. She couldn't tell if it was because she had learnt to read him over the sixteen years they had known each other, or because he had bothered to explain her body language a thousand times, or if it was because in her whole life, those kind of repetitive things she had to end up learning them somehow, but she knew she understood. Beca found herself actually wanting to touch him, for the first time in her life, actually wanting to have physical contact with someone, which only happened when she was a real mess, and she wasn't in that moment so it was a first. She put a hand on his temple massaging his hair-covered head with the tips of her fingers, and supported her forehead on his "It's okay. I'm going to be better at all of this, I'm done being a mess. I'm done. No more dangerous stuff, no more reckless behavior, I swear Jesse. I swear. You're right, most of the Aspies of the world have less trouble than I do, much less. I'll learn."

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 **Hope you liked it, let me know about your thoughts, worries, questions or whatever! lots of love!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay so here's to us again, right? I wanted to leave some things clear first, though. I got told several times by a guest that I should put trigger warnings. The first time I was told this, I went over the first three chapters of the story leaving a note saying something like this story had topics such as Aspergers and other stuff, I gave some other examples but it was mostly like wanting to say** _ **people, you've just started reading, I'm telling you time after time in the first three chaps that, in short, this story contains delicate topics**_ **. I wanted to leave something in the description of the story, but doing it would have stopped me from using it for what it is, that is giving a synopsis, because I wouldn't have characters enough, so I just thought telling it in the first chapters, and having a rating T and the story categorized as drama and romance would be enough, because if I didn't want to have more drama in my life if I had that much, I wouldn't look for a dramatic fic. Apparently, it's not enough, because I keep being asked to put trigger warnings, which I understand because I understand people sometimes find some chapters harder than others and things that for some people are really tragic and dramatic for others are not, and vice versa. So what I am going to do is just let you know if each chapter is going to have difficult stuff. But I'm not giving much detail because that would be spoiler, and I need you all to know this is a story that tells a person's hard, difficult and invented story, that can be hard to read, as it sometimes is very hard to write about. Every chapter can be really long like this one, or short, and this one for example has things really sweet and things that some people would never feel remotely sad about and others could cry their eyes out. I can't tell what your level of sensitivity is, but if it's big, please, don't go reading dramatic stories about girls with Aspergers when I've given you all a peek already mentioning hard stuff on Beca's life like medical abuse, or drugs, alcoholism, suicide attempts, or rape, if I've mentioned she went through this stuff, the possibility of me making Beca talk in more detail about this things later is quite high. So please, please, if I say something like this chapter can be particularly hard to read for some people, assume that it probably talks about something around those topics. And that being said, most of the chapters can be a bit hard to read because it talks a lot about depression, suicide attempts and Aspergers, those topics are very common here, obviously, so every time you start reading, even if I say nothing in particular, assume it could have a lot of that, because the story is about it and has a T rating and a drama category. That being said, many other chapters will be just sweet and pretty and nothing else. And of course, all of that being said, I AM NEVER, EVER, GOING TO GIVE GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS ABOUT RAPE, about other stuff, maybe, but rape? Never. One, I've never lived it and it's a very, very delicate topic. And two, I doubt anyone who ever suffered it would be able to do it either. I'm particularly referring to rape because this guest specifically mentioned it so guest be calm, because I am not going to do this to you, that would be crossing a line.**

 **ABOUT THIS CHAPTER: It's bittersweet. It has things really sweet, things really sad (for me). Also, excuse the long of it, and the longer dialogues or monologues, but it tells a lot about Beca's story.**

 **That said, enjoy the chapter. I'll reply the other guests at the end of it**

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Chapter 5:

After the latest events, dinner time came and everybody collaborated to make it together, everyone except Beca, who borrowed Jesse's car and went to see her dad. After a quick visit that consisted mostly on letting the man get his worries out, apologizing, and assuring everything was fine a thousand times, she got back right in time to help getting the table ready.

"You didn't actually tell them what's the notebook for" Jesse reminded Beca when they started happily eating.

"Oh, right" Beca had left the notebook on the coffee table in the living room, from where nobody had moved it, so she ran, took it, and then ran back to the table "This" she sat, held the notebook in the air for a moment, and then deposited it on the table "is my notebook. Jesse calls it The Nonsensical Notebook as a joke, because it's full of stuff that I cannot ask why they are how they are, and because whoever reads it without knowing what it is will find it pretty absurd" she explained. It was a normal notebook with a fake leather's black cover "My therapist suggested its creation years ago when I was first diagnosed and my parents were frustrated because we couldn't understand each other. The idea is, there's a million things I don't know, or I used to not know and now I just learned them, that I'm suppose to do, stuff that for you it's completely normal and obvious, but for me, it's unreasonable and weird. Things like complimenting a person who just had a new haircut, or saying good morning in the morning, giving a kiss to close friends and family when I first met them after a long time, knowing it was time to get my dad a coffee mug when he started yawning a lot while working, those kinds of things, I just didn't know about. And my parents got really frustrated because how rude it is if you wake up in the morning and your daughter doesn't even hug you, and then she comes from class, and you from work and after not seeing each other all day she doesn't even ask why you have a bandage on a finger or things like that… so my therapist suggested what we could do was everyone I wanted could write here everything I was supposed to do related to them, or advice about things my Aspergers' could mess up, or just anything they thought could be helpful. I've had it for eight years now, well, this is actually the third one, the others are safe at my dorm, but it's the most helpful thing I've found, even though for me it can be really confusing, because people write things like give me a hug when I come to see you, and it doesn't matter that sometimes I stand hugs, and sometimes I can't even think on them, or that I just don't feel like it, or don't understand why, those are just things I have to do, so don't be too abusive when you take it, remember some stuff is really hard for me, and other stuff, I already learned it." She smirked getting a fork full of food into her mouth.

"When we take it?" Cynthia-Rose repeated.

"Yeah" Beca gulped "These are my Social Behavior and Body Language kind of text books, I'm not going to leave this one around, but everyone who wants can just ask to have it, no reason needed. Everyone I've told about my Aspergers knows about my notebook and it's allowed to collaborate, Jesse sometimes takes it and just writes random stuff to cheer me up when needed, so you can really write anything, even draw if you want. Or if I do something that particularly bothers you, I can get to know it and try to fix it."

"God, I have an idea" Chloe giggled motioning for the notebook, and Beca gave it to her "anyone has a pen?" Emily gave her one. Chloe found the last page written, and in the next blank space, she wrote something and then gave it to Beca, who laughed. Jesse took it curiously and read out loud.

" _When somebody is on the floor and puts faces like they're pooping or throwing up, that will usually mean they're in pain. And if that person just fell, it's DEFINITELY pain, so help!_ " he smiled and Beca grinned taking it back. She felt surprisingly comfortable despite the amount of people that was there, the amount of social life she was having that day, and the amount of personal stuff she was revealing, but she was feeling quite happy. Sometimes she had days where Aspergers seemed almost gone, even if, like now, she still didn't look at people in the eyes or was very touchy and things like that, and then there were days when Aspergers was all she was. Sometimes, those things happened, but being eight years in weekly therapy –and sometimes even more frequently- helped. "Why do I feel like this happened?"

Beca curved her lips into a tiny smile and eyed Chloe, who grinned at her.

"The first time Chloe and I really hung out, for calling it something" Beca started "she was dancing, and I was mixing, and she fell and twisted her ankle, and she had to verbally tell me she was in pain and what she exactly needed me to do, because if not I would've probably let her suffer alone. I don't even remember what I thought she was doing" she giggled, and some of the others laughed.

"It was freaking painful" Chloe remembered with a smile.

"Oh, wasn't it some months back?" Aubrey smirked looking at Chloe "Oh, you spent an entire week barely moving from the bed, I had to ask your mates for class notes for you. You suck as a patient, by the way."

And right in the word _patient_ , Beca sneezed soundly and Jesse giggled.

"Looks like you're about to see how you aren't the only one that sucks as a patient" Jesse commented looking at Chloe, who gave him a tiny smile before turning a worried glance towards Beca, who was blowing her nose on her napkin.

"I'm fine" Beca's muffled raspy voice came from behind the napkin "Totally fine."

"You are gonna go back to bed right after dinner, missy" Stacie stated.

"Yeah, we need our voices healthy, so you have to be healed quickly" Cynthia added smirking, and Beca did that weird thing that happens sometimes when you sneeze and cough at the same time.

"Come on" Chloe stood up and handed Beca a hand "let's go upstairs, I'll give you something for that cold."

They had already finished dinner, so Beca nodded, took her notebook, muffled a raspy goodnight and, even though she did it with barely her fingertips, she accepted Chloe's hand.

"Can I ask you something?" Chloe asked while they sat on the side of Beca's bed while the brunette took some cold syrup. With the spoon of syrup half way into her mouth, Beca couldn't speak, so she nodded "What made you decide not to do anything dangerous tonight? What changed?"

Beca gulped and stared at the bookshelf in front of them for a while.

"Everything changed, I couldn't stop thinking. I thought about when you said friends do everything they can to make each other happy, and I knew getting in trouble would make nobody happy. I felt horrible and at the same time amazing, because we won. We won, and I had never won anything before, so it felt awesome, and I just tried to hold onto that as much as we could. I want more of that. And I want more of you guys, and I want to do everything I can to be here just a bit more, for a few more laughs and a few more songs. I wanted to die because nothing made sense, nothing changed, I had the same problem and zero progression for years, but now everything has changed. Now I'm happy more often than anything, I've actually smiled in class spontaneously and not just because of the texts you guys sometimes send on our group, but just thinking about something funny we had done or something." She shrugged and Chloe smiled.

"You do like a cappella" Chloe whispered.

"I do like a cappella" Beca repeated "And I like my new group of weirdoes who I get to call friends."

"We were really worried."

"I know. It's weird because in my mind I don't get why is necessary to go after someone so much, but I understand why you guys did it."

"Then" Chloe looked at her "don't ever get yourself in trouble on purpose, okay? Because we care too much. I care too much. About you."

"I care too much about you too" Beca replied looking at Chloe's chin, unable to look at her beautiful eyes. Then she started coughing and Chloe giggled.

"Come on, let's sleep. Tomorrow's Monday and it's the last week before the holidays, but if you don't feel up for it in the morning, stay at home, we'll come soon with some awards for the sick one" Chloe said while Beca moved to get into the bed "Goodnight."

"Goodnight" Beca answered with her voice raspy. Chloe turned the lights off and went to leave "And Chloe?"

"Yeah?"

"You always look pretty to me." And Chloe smiled, knowing she saw, before muttering a quiet thank you and going downstairs.

Jesse hadn't had the guts to read everything that had been written in the notebook by Chloe. Under the commentary he had read, right under it, it said _Chloe would really like if you told her she looks pretty when she hasn't sleep all night studying. Even if you have to lie_.

The following morning, Beca woke up feeling a lot more rested, and ready to start a new and better day, somehow. But her cold had another plans, and made her wake up between heavy coughs, so she decided looking for some water would be a good idea, and while she went downstairs, she found the house completely empty, and in the counter there was a note and a single key. Beca poured herself a glass of water and drank it while reading the note, that she saw was written with Chloe's lyric.

 _Dear Beca:_

 _We had to go to class, but some of the girls finish at half past twelve, so they'll be here for lunch. Others will take a bit longer. There are pancakes in the microwave, and this is a copy of the house's keys for you, so you can go in and out as you please, but please, if you do it be careful, there is a twenty minute walk from the house to the campus and one can never be safe enough. Also, there is orange juice in the fridge, which will be good for your throat, and in case you missed it, the cold syrup is in your room, and you should keep taking it. The first drawer of your desk has a pack of Kleenex inside._

 _Love,_

 _Your friends._

Beca smiled feeling a flame of infinite gratitude inside and feeling quite lucky, and went to warm her breakfast. After eating, emptying her nose, and having some of that syrup for her throat, she grabbed a blanket, feeling a bit of fever and mixed temperatures, and cuddled on the couch to do some mixes, having found her laptop in her bag. Probably Jesse was the genius, because he had brought everything she needed to be good there, and since she was comfortable and not feeling like leaving the house and walking to the campus and her dorm, she decided she could stay there for a day more. Then she saw her notebook on the coffee table, that the girls should've taken from her bedroom, and smiled taking it, seeing they all had wrote pages and pages, so she settled a good track on her laptop to listen in the meantime, and she started reading. She finished it quickly, and happily left it back on the coffee table and went back to mixing. After a while, and having been coughing quite a lot and sneezing, she felt a bit worse, so she left the laptop on the table too, snuggled better with the blanket, and before she knew it, she was asleep.

She woke up a couple hours later to the sound of laughter filling the room, and quickly sat straight and knelt on the couch to see who was coming into the house, and saw Fat Amy, Cynthia-Rose, Stacie and Lilly coming into the house leaving their coats on the hangers while giggling over something. Beca grinned feeling instantly happy. She felt so much gratitude towards each of those girls, who had over-worried about her like anyone out of Jesse and family ever before, and looked for her so much, and looked over her, taken care of her, made her feel happy and whole, made her not want to hurt herself, made her feel more worthwhile and gave her a house, a bed, food, and love, the same girls who hadn't rejected her like most of the world, and that left her things to be okay while they were out and made sure to come soon enough to have lunch with her, and she felt so much love for her too. So when the feeling overwhelmed her, she stood up and ran to them. Before they even had the chance to yell _Beca, hey!_ , she had already pulled them all for a massive hug the best she could, and she wasn't one for hugs –she found out they still made her uncomfortable right then- but she knew many people with Aspergers had no problem being touchy and even liked it, and she was starting to like those hugs, although she didn't know if it was her usual sick-and-needy self, as Jesse called it, or if she really was starting to like it on her own, or if she liked it because she knew how much they did. The girls grinned and hugged her tightly too.

"Thank you for everything, really" Beca said before pulling apart, all smiley despite being interrupted with a cough.

"That's what friends are for Shorty" Amy smiled "Although you better not get us sick."

"Who cares?" Cynthia grinned "the holidays are almost here, we have nothing to do then, and it would be fun and crazy to be all here together like otters."

"Aubrey would go crazy taking care of all of us" Stacie joked laughing. Aubrey was studying medicine. She loved singing and dancing and it was a huge part of her life, but she loved the perspective of being able to save lives for _personal stuff_ , or make people's lives somehow better, so she had to take the exam for Med School soon and was always at class or studying like crazy.

"So, what did you guys do today?" Beca asked, having seen that in her notebook written by someone "Was the day good?"

And then, while they made lunch, the girls started rambling about that crazy teacher who knew nothing about teaching, and that passionate one who made them want to climb all the mountains in the world, and that dumb classmate that always did the most stupid questions, and that funny thing that happened somewhere that day, or a crazy rumor that was going around the University, and Beca found herself genuinely interested, laughing, commenting and stuff while she just sat in the kitchen island while the others walked here and there making food and talking passionately. She couldn't help much because if she started manipulating food, the girls would surely end up sick.

Right in time for lunch, Emily, Ashley and Jessica came, and informed them Flo would came with Aubrey in about an hour and Chloe had a seminar and would come later in the afternoon, apparently they had seen her running from one classroom to another. So the ones that were there ate lunch happily and saved some for the ones that would come later in case they came saying they didn't have time to eat something at the Campus. After lunch, they put some mute movie because Beca hated movies because of her lack of understanding body language and they thought putting one that was entirely body language would be fun, which ended up being because they spent the whole time laughing, making up meanings, joking about it, trying to make Beca believe that ridiculous stuff was happening, and then Beca even got to figure out some stuff on her own, but fell asleep before an hour and a half into the movie.

When she woke up, Aubrey was pressing her lips on her forehead and murmuring something about a slight fever to the others, as Beca had fallen asleep curled in the corner of one of the sofas. Then, the blonde girl went and sat in the couch beside Beca's snuggled-like-a-cat body.

"I'm awake, I'm awake!" Beca announced before sneezing, sitting up "You came! How was your day?"

"Pretty good" Aubrey smiled tiredly looking at her "although kind of tiring. Yours?"

"Good, we saw a movie" she frowned and looked to the other girls "What happened at the end?"

"Actually, what you predicted" Emily said, frowning "the guy with the weird moustache ended up dead and the story closed up nicely."

"I was right? I'm a prophet!" Beca joked grinning. Then she saw Flo there too "Hey Flo, you came too!" she looked at Aubrey, frowning "And the ginger?"

"Sent me a text an hour ago saying she was at the most boring history class ever with a dumb teacher, and that she later had a very interesting conference that was around two hours long, so she should be home in an hour and a half or so, counting with the time to get here" Aubrey explained "Flo and I arrived like a quarter hour ago. It's half past six now."

"Any ginger should have that much brain work, they have punishment enough with being gingers" Fat Amy joked, and Beca caught the joke only because she had gotten used to Fat Amy's humor and whenever she said nonsense stuff she just assumed the blonde was joking.

Then, Jesse called Beca to check on her, she went to her bedroom to talk nicely and when she came back to the living room, Chloe was just removing her scarf and sitting beside Aubrey with a tired expression, although everything that Beca noticed was that her eyes weren't as sparkly as usual. Beca was looking at her face? Yes she was. And it wasn't that uncomfortable as soon as Chloe wasn't staring at her too, but when that happened, Beca moved her eyes away while walking to sit beside her.

"Becs!" Chloe said happily throwing her arms around the brunette when she sat "Aubrey says you have a fever" she added with a singing voice.

"Oh, just a bit, I feel great, really. How was that conference?" Beca asked while sitting hugging her legs.

"It was great, it was something we had to go because our teacher said it was important for a teacher to know stuff like that, it was about special education needs, and although I'm not going to specialize in that kind of education, I need to know when one of my students need it. And between kinds and kinds of particular kids, guess what they talked about?" Beca looked at her for a second before answering very firmly.

"Aspergers, of course" Chloe nodded "Did you told them you know somebody that has it?"

"I was too tired to participate much by that point, but I paid great attention and also took a bunch of notes. But most of the things the guy explained you had already told us about, so it was interesting but not entirely new" she explained "I also gained a good headache, but already took something for it thanks to future Doctor Posen" she added looking proudly at her friend "How is that study going, by the way?"

"My mountain of study material is bigger than, I was going to say the Everest but before Beca takes it literally" she added smirking at Beca "I'll just say bigger than Stacie's mountain of shoes."

"That's big" Stacie nodded rising her eyebrows "But you'll be a good doc."

"I hope so" Aubrey nodded "I don't want to be one of those assholes that are sometimes and dare to call themselves doctors."

"Well, it is said that good doctors actually exist and they aren't a legend" Beca then sneezed and blew her nose with a Kleenex "But you'd be the first one I met, and I know many doctors."

"So in your opinion, what's the worst thing a doctor can do?" Aubrey asked. Beca took a long time to think an answer.

"Not taking the patient seriously, treating them like if they weren't people, or like if they knew anything, blend a patient's will, restrain a patient when they're too anxious or stressed instead of bothering with explanations, drugging a patient too much, treat them like if they were stupid, not caring enough about a patient's pain… if you leave me I can keep going for hours" Beca commented while distractedly blowing her nose.

"Your doctors seem like the crappiest crap" Cynthia replied disgusted.

"Sorry that's personal experience?" Aubrey frowned getting pale. Chloe looked between her and Beca horrified as Beca nodded.

"And worse things in mental hospital, trust me" Beca replied in a normal tone "But I'm okay now, I just avoid hospitals at all costs. Sorry for changing topic, but Chloe seriously what's wrong with you?" she asked, and everyone focused on the ginger, who rose her eyebrows in surprise.

"Me? Nothing, why?"

"Your eyes are always shinny and when you came they weren't anymore" Beca explained very matter-of-factly and Chloe smiled.

"So you're terrible at body language but you read eyes?" she asked.

"My grandma always told me eyes are the windows of the soul, quite easy ways to read a person, even more if you don't understand body language" Beca explained "So, what's wrong? Something happened at Barden? Tom and you fought?"

"No Beca, I feel fine, everything is fine, really. It must be the cold or the tiredness, tomorrow they'll be sparkly again, I promise" Chloe smiled at her "And actually, Tom and I broke up a couple days after that party, so I'm happily single and ready to mingle." She continued in a sympathetic voice and Beca rose her eyebrows a lot.

"What? Why? You all knew?" Beca added seeing how everyone seemed not surprised at all, and some nodded "Why didn't I?"

"You weren't living here and we had just fought and I guess I later forgot to mention it" Chloe shrugged "It's not that big deal. We dated for a year or so, and then after what you told me, I realized our relationship was purely sexual and wasn't worthwhile, and I wanted, I want something better. I'll be twenty two soon, I'm tired of guys who only want me for my eyes or my body and sexual relationships or boys that are stupid and not interesting at all. I want something interesting now, a real relationship, someone I can fall in love with everyday and have much more than sex. You know, deep talks, laughs, the ideal relationships."

"You do deserve that kind of man" Beca nodded.

"Right? Told you. We all did" Aubrey added smirking.

"I know, but he had it big, okay?" Chloe joked gesturing with her fingers, and the Bellas laughed. Beca frowned, knowing what she was talking about and disgusted about it "And students can get very stressed…"

"I can't believe you would spend an entire year with someone only for their dick" Beca commented in a lower voice hugging her knees and supporting her cheek on them. Chloe stared at her with a little frown.

"I didn't spend a year with Tom only because he had a big dick. I did it because I had good times with him besides sex, and he was a good company, and gave me things I liked and actually miss. And I broke up with him because I knew even if he was awesome for a nineteen year old full of hormones, or a fifteen year old, a woman like me needed and could go for something better" Chloe explained.

"Talking about guys…" Stacie looked suspiciously at Beca "Is there something going on with Jesse and you? You're quite cute together."

"No" Beca coughed "He's my best friend, he's the closest I know to a brother, I have never been in love with him, or had a crush on him. He's a great guy, don't get me wrong, but I guess growing up together it was just weird only thinking in the possibility. We've been toddlers having baths in the nude, we've been inseparable for sixteen years, even decided about college together, we've talked about boys or girls, I've seen him date, I've tried to give him the bit of advice I could, and we've talked about sex and about everything there is to talk about with someone. I wouldn't risk our friendship for anything or anyone" Beca explained with a raspy voice, resting on her knees. Her fever was making her really tired, but she knew it would be perfectly fine soon, colds went by quickly for a girl that had grown up in a cold city.

"So I can flirt with him if I want?" Stacie asked rising her eyebrows mischievously.

"No, you cannot try anything with him Stacie" Beca firmly said.

"Why?"

"Because he's an awesome dude, and unless you show me you are capable of being in a serious relationship with someone with actual interest on him beyond the sex and really wanting to be with them, I'm not gonna sit quietly while you try to flirt with him. He's weak and he will love the flirting, and then you'll have sex with him and not call him again, and he will feel used, and it's my brother, so I won't let that happen" Beca said emphatically.

"I was not going to do that!" Stacie smiled "I swear, I'm not that bitch, I can actually like a boy enough to be with them seriously. But you can rest calm, I was just testing, I'm not really interested. He's cute but I prefer them older."

"Beca, what if he likes you?" Emily said suddenly, excitedly "He does look at you with special interest!" Beca giggled.

"He used to be in love with me for some time when we were teens" Beca murmured "Hormones and stuff, he told me. But I was a mess, and I told him he deserved better, and that I didn't feel the same, and he told me it was alright, that nothing had to change. It was a bit uncomfortable for a bit, I couldn't do things that I used to do like changing clothes in front of him and stuff, but not long after, he told me he had realized it was only a crush, and asked me help with a girl of my class. They had a date, went horribly, but things went back to normal between us and we realized we could never be together. Had a blast laughing about the date later, though."

"Why don't you rest that throat a bit, sweetie?" Chloe suggested going to stroke the back of Beca's neck, but in the instant it happened, Beca flinched and Chloe quickly pulled back "Sorry."

"Oh, the super affectionate, needy, Beca is gone!" Cynthia lamented "Had you come when we did, she wouldn't have given you a super hug."

"Really?" Chloe smiled a bit "Well, lucky for me tomorrow I don't have class until six, so maybe I'll get one uh?" she playfully and very quickly and briefly elbowed Beca.

"Can't promise anything" Beca replied, and sneezed, so she sat straight to blow her nose again and then leaned back closing her eyes to breathe through her blocked nose "I do get super affectionate when I'm sick, but that doesn't mean Aspergers goes away, and although some Aspies are still normally affectionate, some others like me are the least affectionate ever, so I can feel like I would kill for a hug, and then have one and be disgusted about it. Depends on I don't know, the day I guess. It's completely unpredictable." She shrugged "Now for example that simple touch annoyed me a bit. It's just sometimes when I get touched it feels normal, and sometimes it feels more like I'm being touched twice as strongly, and annoys me. Not your fault at all." Chloe nodded "So you have to study Aspergers for class, right?"

"A bit, yeah."

"Instead of observing me, you'd learn more from reading Mark Segar. Some British dude who was an Aspie and wrote some great books" Beca nodded for herself.

"Great, I will" Chloe smiled and looked at the laptop in the table and the notebook, where she hadn't paid attention before "Were you mixing?"

"I was, then went for a nap."

"And did you saw the pages we wrote?"

"I did."

"You liked it?" Aubrey asked "Or did we mess it up?"

"You did a fantastic work" Beca smiled a bit "Thank you. Now if you'd excuse me, I think I'm gonna go to sleep, maybe with a bit of luck I'll get to not miss a great seminar tomorrow."

"It's super soon, we haven't even had dinner" Ashley said looking at her watch.

"Colds get me too drained to be hungry" Beca replied getting up and taking her laptop and notebook between coughs.

"Don't go to class tomorrow would you?" Jessica suggested "You won't pay attention feeling like crap and you will get your whole class sick."

"I can't miss that many classes in college Jess, feeling like crap or not, being this intelligent won't get into my mind things I've never been told about that will be in the exams I'll need to pass. I need to at least make it to the seminar, the other classes I can skip" she explained, her voice almost gone, as she made sure she was holding everything well and was ready to go upstairs "Plus, my class doesn't get that close to me, so don't worry. Good night girls."

A set of good nights came back for her and she went upstairs, where she fell asleep as soon as her body hit the bed.

The next morning, she woke up at the perfect time to go to her seminar, even though she didn't feel like going to the other classes, and since those were easy classes, she thought it wasn't that important. As she walked downstairs, she went room after room seeing all the doors open, some bedrooms cleaner than others, but all empty, except for Chloe and Aubrey's bedroom, whose door was closed. Beca opened it very carefully, saw Aubrey's bed empty and done, and Chloe sleeping contently on her bed. Their room had a completely different vibe, two very different personalities mixed into one room in somehow the same perfect harmony the two best friends had, two individual beds one in each side of the room, and even though there were separate closets or chest of drawers, and certain symmetry between the two halves of the room, the same furniture here and there, you could see some things that weren't Chloe's or Aubrey's but of the two of them, that they had made together, or owned together, or just cared equally about, like photographs or stuff. Beca didn't completely understand how could any bedroom reflect a person's personality that much, but she knew it was a proven fact even with herself.

In the kitchen, however, she found Aubrey sitting in the kitchen island drinking coffee and reading the newspaper, already dressed and ready to go. She smiled looking up at Beca.

"Good morning" she greeted the brunette "Feel any better today?"

"Yeah" Beca replied while serving herself some toasts "Hey, are you going to Barden now?"

"Yes, need a ride?"

"I do, I was wondering if you could take me there too, I'm already dressed, and my bag is ready, I'll just eat fast and…"

"Relax, Beca" Aubrey interrupted her and checked the clock on the wall "We have time, there's no need to rush. I got up earlier than planned, so you can relax."

"Okay, thank you. I thought your classes were earlier" Beca commented while eating.

"They usually are, but today we are going to visit the Med School here, see how things are done and try to learn something new or at least get familiarized with the place" Aubrey explained.

"Are you going to keep studying here in Atlanta? Not going home?"

"I don't know. I'm between Emory University School of Medicine here and NYU School of Medicine at home" Aubrey explained "I've had interviews in both places, both are good and both want me, but I'll have to decide after the exams."

"If you could choose anywhere between the two, like if you knew you had marks good enough for both, where would you go?"

"Well, I guess one factor would be what Chloe's doing, which she isn't very sure yet, and then I like Atlanta a lot, and all of you are here, but I also miss my family and New York it's awesome. I don't know, both schools are amazing too… I don't know" she shrugged "I'll see."

Around three hours later, Jesse took Beca home after the seminar and then he left for a class, so Beca went into the house leaving her coat on the hanger and, hearing music in the kitchen, walked there and found Chloe still in her pajamas dancing while making lunch, and Aubrey standing next to her helping out while humming the lyrics. They both looked to see who came and smiled.

"You used your key!" Chloe said excitedly, turning the volume of the music from the radio down until it was just in the background.

"Yes" Beca placed the key on the kitchen island "how was Emory Aubrey?"

"Too good to be true, so now I just have it harder to decide anything" Aubrey smirked "but it's okay. The seminar?"

"Turned into a long conference, but was incredibly interesting even between coughing. Although my constant coughing and sneezing did bother my classmates, who were particularly unhappy with me" Beca said as if it was the most common thing while drinking a glass of water. Aubrey and Chloe turned to face her.

"Did they put a finger on you?" Aubrey asked.

"Or insulted you? We'll kick their asses, that's it" Chloe said looking at Aubrey without waiting for an answer.

"We love you like if you were our sister Bec, so if they did something, just tell us and we'll take care of it."

"Exactly, we can hurt them twice what they hurt you, we won't allow kid's crap."

"Guys, stop it" Beca said "Firstly, I don't need anybody to defend me, I can defend myself perfectly good. Secondly, if you came in kicking asses or harassing them, do you think that would make things better? They would get you into trouble, hate me more, and things would get too complicated. And thirdly, they wouldn't dare put a finger on me. They just… they are impolite, they make commentaries that from experience I think must be offensive, they push a bit when we are squeezed in the corridors or something, and if they can close doors at my face, pretend the seat I'm about to take it's taken, or not stand up from her seats to let me pass and go, they do." Beca explained. Chloe and Aubrey's faces showed immediate anger.

"Oh man, I will kill them" Chloe said through grilled teeth.

"Those assholes, how can they be so childish" Aubrey muttered angrily.

"It's okay girls…"

"No it's not okay Beca!" Chloe exploded "That's bullying, don't you see? Bullying in college, and one though stupid behavior ended at high school."

"It's not bullying, it's just impoliteness, lack of manners, that's all" Beca said "They probably aren't conscious they are being like that, I'll just tell them their behavior bothers me and they'll stop, it's simple lack of understanding."

"Beca, you're too naïve honey. You said they said things you thought could have bad intentions behind, what did they say?" Aubrey asked.

"I don't know, commentaries… like _she could have left her stupid cough at home_ or, _let's see who she asks for notes_. And they laughed and stared at me sometimes. But they always do, they probably just noticed how clever I am."

Chloe and Aubrey looked at each other rolling their eyes and then went down to business.

"Beca, that my friend, is called bullying, is called insulting someone for having a syndrome that she never choose to have, is called disregarding someone, pretending someone doesn't exists except for insulting her and tease someone just for entertaining" Chloe explained firmly "And we won't tolerate that being done not to you, and not to anyone else we can consider family, even if you don't like it."

"We know perfectly well you don't need anybody to stand up for you, but we still want to, because that's what friends and family do, help each other, stand for each other, even when it's unnecessary, you don't have to feel alone with that, we can help" Aubrey added.

"And we can find a way to do it avoiding the comeback attack" Chloe added finally, and they went back to cooking.

Beca rolled her eyes and went back to blowing her nose while skimming the newspaper.

"There's a storm expected for tomorrow afternoon" she murmured distractedly.

"Really?" Chloe frowned going to read the weather previsions in the newspaper "Crap, I'll have to drive with the rain. I have class tomorrow afternoon and it's until almost dinner time."

"Can't you take the bus, or maybe I can pick you up?" Aubrey asked.

"You know the bus isn't good around here Aubrey" Chloe shrugged "Nah, if I asked any of you to pick me up I would make one of you drive with the rain twice and at night. I'll just be twice as careful and go super slow." Aubrey nodded.

"Listen, guys" Beca fidgeted with her ring "I was thinking about going back to my dorm. I really have no reason to stay here, and all my stuff is there."

"You could move in, we did give you a key" Aubrey replied while cooking, a task Chloe had went back to doing too.

"Yeah, we're happy with having you here, and now we know what you were hiding, it could be really nice. The past couple days have been, right?" Chloe said, and Aubrey nodded.

"I know, but I already told you I'm not good with people. I'm better off alone" Beca insisted.

"Look, Beca, if that's what you want, alright, you can go whenever you want, nobody will stop you and we'll all keep being just as good friends" Aubrey said "We just want to be sure you know we love having you here, and we don't mind it, we are comfortable with you here, and you will always have keys and a room here just in case one day you feel like sleeping over."

"And I don't think is good for you to be so isolated" Chloe added "but is up to you, you're more intelligent and old enough to know what you want, we trust you to make the best decisions for yourself."

"I won't be isolated, I'll be in a dorm in a corridor surrounded by dorms with people living there" Beca argued.

"Are you friends with any of them?" Chloe asked.

"No."

"Do you know any of their names?"

"No." Chloe exchanged an exasperated look with Aubrey before replying.

"That, Beca, is being isolated and lonely."

"Then, isolated and lonely works fine with me. It's what I'm used to, mostly, with seeing Jesse and you guys as frequently as I do is already a big change, I'll be fine."

"That's the thing Beca, that it's not normal, it's not healthy, to be isolated and lonely, humans are made to be social beings, that's one of our principal qualities, that we crave for social life, it's how humans are biologically, what makes us different from many other beings" Aubrey explained "And you don't have to be alone anymore, it would be awesome you got out of that habit, you have a great number of good friends now."

Beca stared at Aubrey in silence, looking perplexed, and after a while, Chloe did it too. Noticing that, Aubrey looked around with a questioning look.

"Aubrey" Chloe whispered "Beca has Aspergers. She can't biologically be as social beings as people without it, and she's still a human." Aubrey then realized of her mistake and looked quickly at Beca, who was still staring at Aubrey speechless and looking like someone just slapped her.

"Oh" Aubrey shook her head "I didn't realize… I'm so sorry Beca, that came out wrong, is not what I meant…"

"Then, what do you mean, Aubrey?" Beca asked coldly "Because you seemed quite certain. And you know? You're not even wrong. You are in the side of science, you want to be a doctor, you study biology and chemic, and all about the human body every day. And in every book, everywhere, it always says the same, the human being is a social being by nature. But I'm not, I don't crave for human or anything else's contact, I don't crave for attention, I'm horrible at social situations and I have to actually study human behavior to get something, so what am I, Aubrey? I ask you as a future med student, a person who knows the human body. What am I?"

"Wrong" Aubrey nodded for herself and looked at Chloe "She's wrong and she's an asshole" she looked back at Beca and sighed exasperated going to sit beside her in the kitchen island "You are a social being too, Beca, and therefore, you are as human as we are. You aren't any alien. You are a social being, you may not have it easy, you may feel out of place and have to study human behavior or body language, but you do it precisely because you have the need to communicate, or you'll go crazy." She firmly stated "You try to get into conversations, into social situations, you confront those situations knowing it's not going to be easy because you can't stand being a second more alone, because if you kept having your thoughts only for yourself, you would forget your voice, and who you are, and you'd go mental. You came there" she pointed to the living room behind them "knowing you would have to face a hell of a social situation, intimidating even for someone like Chloe or me, and still did it, and did a hell of a work, because you're one of the bravest persons I know. You could stay in your bedroom sick all day in bed, and you don't. But you want to know why you put that in doubt? Why you put so much effort in highlighting your differences with people non-Aspies to the point of not calling yourself a human?" Beca stared at her intently, astonished "Because horrible people like the ones you were telling us about before, put that crap on you for so long you, logical mind, forced yourself to desperately find a way in which they could be right, to explain a completely stupid idea, and ended up thinking if so many people said the same, then they had to be right and you couldn't be a normal human being. But they're wrong Beca. And deep inside you know it, you are too intelligent to not know it. They're so wrong. And it's the exact same reason why people like Chloe or I will never stand back just watching things like that happen to anyone. You like it or not… you're as ordinary human as we are, only a bit more intelligent and socially dumb, but many people are too, and they don't have Aspergers." She stated categorically "So science one, dumb assholes zero. A future doctor and expert in humans says so, if they ask you." She stood up, and while she walked back to Chloe to help finishing lunch, she smirked proudly at herself, watching Chloe grin proudly at her. Beca just sat there speechless assimilating what had just happened.

She had just finished cutting some vegetables when she felt a soft tug in the back of her sweater, so soft it was almost impossible to feel, and she turned back to find Beca, shorter than her and looking at the ground, and then she just heard a sob before she had Beca hugging her tightly and crying hard on her. Aubrey smiled sadly hugging her back and pressing her against herself lovingly, and Chloe looked at them with a sad smile. Then, she heard the door open, and she looked behind them to see the other Bellas arriving.

"What is going on?" Cynthia-Rose asked moving just her lips looking at Chloe. The ginger went out of the kitchen and to the other girls, and closed the door behind her, leaving the other girls alone.

* * *

 **Please leave reviews, I'd love to read your opinions! Now my replies to guests!**

 **VanesaR: What do you mean with starting to feel, you mean feel better? And thanks a lot**

 **Jake: Thank you so much! I've found this amazing blog that an Aspie has talking about his daily life, and other Aspie stuff and helps a lot. And it's not the only one I've found, luckily, so now I'm writing I believe chapter seven or so, and there when it comes you'll see how I found more info. Yeah, I realized I hadn0't gotten much into the routines part, but in the following chapters is there! Eureka! Well, thanks a lot as always, a big pleasure to read you.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks everyone for everything. I was asked to put some warnings from just one Guest, but because it's Guest how it's called, I didn't know if it was more than one, so I said several, and now I believe it's only one. I said what I'm gonna do and that's it, so I'll just do that. This chapter is intense, this chapter has sadness, crude stuff, and is a bit dramatic and bittersweet, but I don't think anybody will have to close their eyes or anything. I'm sorry for not giving triggering warnings in the sinopsis, but any new reader is reminded in the first three chapters that what they are about to read, as a whole story, can be triggering in certain aspects, and I cannot change the sinopsis more, because it's there to inform about the plot and any changes I've thought of doing makes me impossible to use it to inform about the plot. There is a T rating, and a Drama category, so people should have an idea, between that and the commentaries at the start of the first three chapters, and the commentaries I do about each chapter at they start.**

 **Now, if you'll read me, I'd like to say something after all the violence that our world has been suffering during it's whole existence, but more specially these days. The way I see it, our world is like a person that is sick. This person starts having symptoms in it's ass, which would be all the wars, hunger, poberty, violente, injustice, and violence in Africa and so many other places of the world we consider less advanced than us. But because it's the butt, nobody really sees that this person is sick, nobody worries about it's butt, or anything. But after some time, this person starts having symptoms on its face, eyes, nose... this ones could be NYC, Washington DC, Paris, and so many other places of the world that we consider more advanced, and this time, in the second something happens in this face, even if it's not as bad as what's happening in this person's butt, everyone pays attention to it, everyone worries, everyone want to fix this face. But friends, the way I see it and that I strongly believe is the best way to see it, if you were this sick person, you wouldn't go to the doctor and expect the doctor to cure only your face, to center his or hers attention on your face, you and your doctor would be thinking that those are symptoms for an illness that is in your whole body, and you would attack the center of this illness, correct the whole illness, not one symptom, any symptom would be more priviledged because it's more visible or anything.**

 **Now move this to our world. France got sick, yeah, but we can't center on France and be all like oh, poor France, let's put French flags, let's help French... and then forget about all the war in Syria, and Africa in general, forget about all these people that need us so desperately, and need our help, and love, and compassion, we can't think they are less important. Why nobody held a minute of silence for them? why people help French but close their doors to refugees, blacks, muslims, and others, and hate them for coming looking for help after our countries caused their wars? why tumblr, facebook... why any of them gave the possibility of putting the other flags on their symbols and profiles? why anybody seems to care about them? The world is sick. The world is sick with violence, hate, and this only causes more violence and hate and nobody is caring about it, they are caring about some symptoms of it, but not looking for the root of the problem. The root isn't ISIS. Or muslims. We can't go against a whole religion, society, nationality, color... we go against certain horrible people that make violence. That's how we get revenge, not by hurting innocents and whole countries. We can't be hating so much, we can't solve violence with violence... what France did caused more than two hundred deaths of innocents. That's unforgivable. So it is that America caused so many deaths in Afganistan and other places in Africa just for money, and so many other countries did the same too, and nobody told them anything. "Civilized" countries destroyed countries for money, and now the refugees from those countries ask for our help and we deny it, what kind of person does that? we are becoming monsters everytime we hate a person that did nothing wrong.**

 **No more violence. No more hate. That's all I ask from this world. We all want to be safe, that's why our politicians offer that so we choose them, but them, they gain a lot of money from the weapons bussiness, and as long as they do this, and sell guns to countries that only want violence, they would be lying if they said they want peace like they do. They want war because war gives them money. And we need to want peace.**

* * *

Chapter 6:

The following day, Beca was walking around Barden from one class to another, and when she sat in a row of seats and smiled awkwardly to the girl that was sitting in the seat beside her own, the girl rolled her eyes and stood up, taking her stuff and going to another seat father away. Beca didn't understand what had just happened, she was just being nice.

"I heard she killed someone, that's why she never laughs at jokes or anything, she just hates people." She then heard a few seats behind her, but clear as white against black, and even more to her great hearing.

"Yeah, I heard she had to leave her state because she attacked someone on the streets and got into a mental health hospital, she's crazy, if you get to look at her eyes, you'll see the madness." Another voice said.

"She only studies her because of Dr. Mitchell, he convinced the Dean to her study here, being her daughter and all of that."

"I don't believe any of that guys, that's bullshit…"

"I'm telling you! She is crazy, she hates all of us, why do you think she's always so serious and talks so politely and weirdly it seems like so rude?"

"Yeah, guys my sister said she was at the a cappella competition just a few days ago and Mitchell went crazy with a guy, and ran away crying, and not even police could find her in a day. My sister heard some guy raped her or something and maybe that's how she went crazy…"

With tears in her eyes, Beca was about to go tell them a few words, when the teacher came in telling everyone to be in silence. After class, she went fast to leave the room, coughing a bit on the way, -her cold was much better, but her throat was still resenting a bit- and after she had walked a few steps in the corridor, someone pushed her hard against a wall, and she crashed against it and fell on her knees.

"What the f…" she started to mutter, but then she felt a kick on her stomach that made her lay face down on the floor, in pain.

"You're crazy, aren't you Mitchell? What are you doing here, lunatic? Are you going to start yelling and throwing stuff?" someone was snapping at her, and she groaned in pain, too crappy to stand up and shove the other guy against the wall and kick their ass.

"Hey! What the fuck do you think you are doing?" She heard a yell, then a loud thud, and she turned her face on the floor to see a ginger she knew very well holding someone by the neck of their sweater and pushing them against a wall, slapping them hard on the face, and making them fall to the ground "If you ever say anymore bullshit about my friend, I will fucking end you, do you hear me? I'm not afraid of assholes and bullies, and you are saying bullshit, and if you ever put a finger on them, I will make sure you get expelled and in prison for harassing and assault!" She was yelling to the boy, kneeling on the ground to push the head of him up pulling from his hair and yelling to his ear. Beca heard rushed footsteps and then a couple set of hands rolled her to face the ceiling, Aubrey, Cynthia Rose and Fat Amy, and they helped her get on her feet.

"Are you alright?" Cynthia Rose asked.

"I…" Beca looked from them, to the ginger, that had just left the boy on the ground and was walking to them, and all the people in the corridor that were staring astonished, and making photos with their phones "Let's go. Let's fucking go!"

They walked fast downstairs and to the auditorium, and there Beca sat on a chair and groaned pulling up her t-shirt to observe a tiny bruise starting to grow in the skin of her belly, but it didn't seem like it needed any medical attention, it wasn't swollen or anything.

"Let me see" Aubrey asked, and pressed softly on the bruise making Beca flinch "Sorry. I think it's just a bruise, but maybe the nurse should take a look."

"No" she stood up, watching the other girls looking at them with worried faces. And then she exploded in a pure, heated, session of yelling, even with an achy throat "What the hell were you thinking Chloe? You could've gotten expelled, or worse! You realize that guy could still be seventeen, therefore you could have hit a minor of age? There's still some weeks left to the year for birthdays to come you know? And what the fuck were you doing hitting him? Or intervening? It was my business, I was about to take care of that in a more pacific way! You could've gotten yourself in serious trouble, and you definitely got me in one! They were making pictures, Chloe, they think I'm fucking mental and a murderer or something and now they are going to think I'm in some mafia or something, you think that's going to make them like me more?!"

"Wait, what?" Chloe frowned.

"You just" Beca huffed exasperated "Why would you even get your nose in here Chloe? It's my life, you said yourself I had an age and intelligence to figure out my own things alone, you made everything worse Chloe!"

"Beca if I hadn't done something, he would've seriously hurt you, he had another kick ready and I interrupted it in case you didn't saw" Chloe calmly said "Hey I know it was not the most recommendable approach but he could've cause you actual internal bleeding, you could be in your way to the hospital now…"

"Hitting him was unnecessary Chloe, you could've just push him away…"

"Beca, he's a damn bully, I've got witnesses, nobody is going to expel me, I assure you."

"And you just got at his height, Chloe" Beca snapped "You should've controlled yourself, we are not teens anymore. But you didn't and then acted like a bully too."

"If that's what it takes to get people to not kick your ass, then I have no regrets. Precisely because it's not high school, precisely because we are not teens anymore. And you should denounce him to the dean."

Beca sighed and looked at Aubrey and the others.

"You guys have class. What were you doing there? Were you following me or something?"

"We just had a couple hours free, and we checked the schedules of the other girls' down at the secretary office, and saw you had sometime free too, so we thought it would be nice to pick you up and go get some coffee or something" Cynthia explained.

"And then heard people say someone was hitting a girl, and we got a bad feeling and hurried up" Fat Amy explained.

"And then we saw you at the floor and we sort of put two and two together" Aubrey finished.

Beca nodded and took her bag she left on the floor.

"Thank you for stopping a dude from hitting me more, but from now own, my life, my business, am I clear?" she stated looking at the four girls, and they nodded, but Chloe didn't "Am I clear Chloe?" she emphasized.

"Beca, this is not…"

"I don't want to hear it Chloe. It's my business. It's my life. I can protect myself alone, so stay away from my problems because if you keep trying to save the day like this, you're going to end up making my life more of a living hell, my mates' hate for me just rose ten points more."

That said, she left the auditorium. They weren't having more rehearsals until the end of the holidays, so she didn't saw them for the rest of the day, or the morning after, staying in her dorm instead having literature discussions with Jesse. The storm kicked that night, and the next morning it was still raining, but surprisingly, suddenly all of Beca's mates were apologizing and being really nice with her, apparently, after that fight they saw their mate crossed the line and that she could've never done the horrible things some stupid guy's rumors said, and that she was a nice person after all. So after the best morning she ever had, she went for lunch with Jesse, and after arguing a bit, she realized she owned Chloe and the girls an apology, again. That decided, she waited some hours until it was later and she knew everybody would be already home, and in spite of the tremendous rain that kept falling over Georgia State, Jesse took her in his car to the Bella's house, this time, with a bag full of stuff from her dorm so she could stay a bit more without having to care about her dorm. She used her keys and got in, the night had already fallen over the house, because she had waited until almost nine to go there, not wanting to go when people was going to be missing.

"Girls, I owe you an apology, I'm sorry for yelling like that, I've been thinking…" she was rambling as she went to the living, but she suddenly shut up. All the girls, except Chloe and Aubrey, were sitting there, pale, serious, and looking puzzled, and even Beca, who was horrible at body language, knew enough –probably from years of learning- to know something was up "What's going up girls? Is everything alright?"

"Aubrey just got a call from the hospital" Jessica replied, with trembling voice "Chloe had a car crash. Aubrey is her emergency contact."

"What?!" Beca let her bag fall on the floor and walked to them, looking into her faces looking for any sign that is was a stupid joke "Guys you know I don't get jokes, please tell me it's a joke. Chloe can't be in a car crash, she just can't…"

"Beca" Stacie interrupted "Chloe had classes this afternoon. She called a bit less than an hour ago saying she just got in the car and would be here in twenty. And just ten minutes before you came, Aubrey was running to her car to get to the hospital after being called, saying Chloe's car crashed against a tree. We aren't fucking joking."

Beca nodded and let her ass fall on one of the puff bean chairs, feeling numb. What if Chloe was opened up in a OR right then as they sat there? What if she was dead? No, Chloe Beale could not be dead, she was the sun of the house.

"What do we do? Should we go to the hospital too?" Beca asked after a while in silence, everyone too shocked.

"Aubrey ordered we stayed here" Emily explained "She said no one else is driving tonight with all the rain and everything. She said she would call in the second she knew something."

Beca nodded, and closed her eyes leaning back against the puff bean chair. An entire hour passed before Stacie's cell sounded, breaking the anxious silence, and Stacie yelled saying it was Aubrey.

"Aubrey, you're on speaker. Everyone's here" she said to the phone, putting it on the coffee table around which everyone was sitting.

"Alright" Aubrey sounded quite relaxed "Chloe's fine." All the breaths were released suddenly "She's doing fine, she'll be free to go home tomorrow. She says her car slid on a curve with the water and she lost control and her door ended up crashed against a tree."

"Did she need surgery, Aubrey?" Beca dared to ask.

"She had minor surgery because she has a broken clavicle that came through the skin a bit, and she also has a brain concussion, so the docs are holding here tonight in observation to make sure everything she needs is painkillers and lots of rest and if nothing happens tonight and she feels a bit better in the morning, they'll let her go. I'm gonna stay here with her for the night to make sure she's alright" Aubrey explained "She's sleeping right beside me, the doctors had to knock her out with meds quite heavily so they could immobilize her shoulder properly and put the clavicle in a healing position. She just lost consciousness in the car and had just awaken like five minutes before I got here, and we were talking just a few minutes ago here and she feels better and it was just a very scary thing, but it's okay. Also, she has some minor bruises and the window of her door broke with the crash so the crystal gave her some minor cuts in her face, neck and arm, so she seems worse than how she actually is."

"Give her the best of wishes from us Aubrey, and many kisses" Flo said.

"I will" Aubrey replied "You guys well there?"

"We're fine Aubrey, much more calmed down now, you just worry about our favorite ginger" Amy said.

"Sure" they could almost hear Aubrey smile "Well, I'm gonna go before I wake her up, if that's even possible. I'll call in the morning, okay? I'm gonna email hers and mine's teachers to let them know we will be missing the classes now… and Bec?"

"Yeah" Beca replied.

"Glad to hear you're home."

"I came here to apologize Aubrey" Beca said.

"Don't worry. Chloe was dying to hear from you, she'll be happy to know… Good night girls."

"Night!" they said back, and the call ended.

That night, at the Bella's house, just four days before Christmas, was the longest night Beca remembered having in a very long time. Not because her cold, even if being in remission, made her wake up every now and then coughing, or because sometimes her feet got out of the blankets and the cold woke her up, but because she couldn't help but wonder how could Chloe spend just like that a night in a place that was so terrifying for her, an entire night there, with all the downs of having a concussion, and the horror of having just had a car accident, but fortunately Aubrey was with her and Beca knew nobody cared about Chloe the way Aubrey did, or at least it was the impression she had. In the morning, the girls went to class like usual, and around noon Stacie got a call from Aubrey asking her to get a clean shirt or blouse for Chloe –something with buttons in the front so it was easier for Chloe to get dressed- and bring it to the hospital because Chloe's shirt from the night had blood stains on it, and also had had to be cut by the EMTs to help Chloe out. She also asked for a clean bra because the one Chloe wore in the night had a bit of blood too, but they would clean it out later. When Stacie came back for lunch, told them she had seen Chloe and that she seemed fine, just tired and a bit knocked out from the painkillers, but that the plan was that she could go back home in the afternoon. Stacie also brought home Chloe's school bag, cell, and blood stained bra –that immediately went to the laundry- so the girls didn't have to carry a lot of things.

So the Bellas studied, took their lives back to normal, went back to their usual activities, and in the afternoon, they set for a quiet rest of the day, Flo, Stacie, Cynthia-Rose and Lilly set for a Just Dance competition, Emily sat quietly to write songs or perfection the ones she had written already, Jessica, Fat Amy and Ashley sat to cheer the dancing queens, and Beca just sat with her favorite obsession, mixing. It was almost dinner time when they heard the key in the principal door, and everyone stopped what they were doing, and stared at the door in complete silence watching it open slowly to show Aubrey, with her purse hanging in one arm, and the other arm protectively around Chloe, who seemed more asleep than awake. At first, all the Bellas except Stacie who had already seen the ginger, stood breathless by the doorstep of the foyer, taking in Chloe's appearance, that although it wasn't very bad, was far away from her usual shinny, bright, sexy and stunning self. Her hair, usually flawless and falling free, was a bit entangled and a bandage surrounded her head around the temples, the forehead, and the back of the head, the left side of her face and neck, and her left ear, had little wounds that looked like red freckles smeared around her pale skin, and her left arm was in a sling. She had her eyes half opened and was whispering something to Aubrey, who nodded as she closed the door again behind them.

"Alright" Aubrey whispered taking Chloe's coat carefully from her shoulders and putting it on a hanger. She had bags under her eyes but was smiling happily as she looked up to the doorstep and found all the other Bellas there, pressed against each other trying to get a look "As long as you remember she has a concussion and is not up for loud noises, you can actually get closer you know?"

Chloe looked around to see who Aubrey was talking to and smiled tiredly but happily seeing all the Bellas.

"Hey" she greeted them in a barely audible voice. The Bellas smiled and very quietly went to give her a massive and super soft hug, almost afraid to touch her, except for Beca, who wasn't up for hugs –not only she didn't feel like she was gonna like one in that moment, but she was also too afraid of hurting her friend- and stood back with Aubrey.

"Everything alright?" she asked Aubrey, who had her arms crossed over her chest looking at the ginger with a tiny smile, and looked at Beca when she heard her voice.

"Yeah, she's good, doc made her a few more tests before letting her go, but she'll be fine" Aubrey replied.

"You too?" Beca added, actually wanting to know something about the friends she hadn't seen in two days and a half.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Typical tired, but fine" Aubrey smiled with confidence and in the meantime the other girls pulled away from Chloe, who after some small talk with the others, dragged her feet towards them, keeping the arm in the sling pressed against her torso with her other hand.

"I'm gonna take a nap before dinner" Chloe announced "I'm too zombie to do anything else right now." Beca took a few seconds to remember how Jesse had explained that meant one was too sleepy.

"Okay, I'll go help you get ready" Aubrey said, and Chloe nodded. Right when she had put a foot on the first step of the stairs, she glanced at Beca, who hugging herself, and gave her a tiny smile.

"Good to see you." She, then, turned around again and climbed upstairs with Aubrey.

Before everyone had dinner, they took a tray up to Chloe's room so Aubrey could help her get something in her stomach and she could sleep while Aubrey went downstairs to make the others company with dinner. When they were eating in the big kitchen that had the big table where they always had their meals, the bell rang and Beca opened the door to Jesse, who came to visit them.

"Hey pretty girl!" he smiled at Beca, and they went to the table where the others, except Chloe who slept in her bed, were "Bon appétit!" the girls thanked him.

"What brings you here this late?" Aubrey asked smiling at him.

"Well, it's when I've had time enough to come, since covering mine and my friend's shift at the radio station took long" he smirked at Beca "But Beca told me Chloe and you needed class notes for today, so I got them for you" he explained while putting a folder out of his bag and on the table.

"Guys, thank you so much!" Aubrey grinned going to take the folder, taking a look to all the pages full of class notes for all of their classes of the day, perfectly organized by date and class "Wow, these are very good class notes, where did you find these? They're even written by computer!"

"Let's say I know the right people" Jesse smiled "You can have them, those are copies from the originals so don't need to be given back. Why did you miss class anyway, future doctor Posen?"

"Oh, Chloe had a car crash last night and we just came home from the hospital" Aubrey explained, the three of them sitting back on the table, and Jessica bringing another plate for Jesse in case he was hungry. Jesse thanked her and rose her eyebrows in surprise looking at Aubrey and Beca.

"Really? I can't believe it! What happened, is she alright? Well, she must be good to be home already right?"

"Yeah, she's sleeping now. She was driving back home last night, you know, with all the rain, and her car slipped in a curve and crashed against a tree, with the bad luck of crashing against the driver's door, so she got a concussion and her clavicle broke and had to undergo minor surgery, but doctor said she should be completely recovered in a couple months or so, with physiotherapy and stuff. Fortunately it was more the shock than the actual damage" Aubrey explained "I told her you were sorry, by the way" she added looking at Beca over her food. Beca stared at her "She didn't even thought you had to apologize for anything, she said it was her who owned you an apology."

"That's ridiculous, I'll blame the meds for that thought" Beca argued.

"Okay, but don't go to her with stubbornness and arguments, her head is not up for it" Aubrey said jokingly.

"Now that you mention it" Cynthia commented looking at Beca "did you talk with the dean?"

"No, and I'm not planning to" Beca replied.

"Well, the guy could have really hurt you Bec, you should talk with the dean, or with your dad" Jesse said.

"And then what, Jesse? The guy could also say I hit him first, and I bet he has some bruise to prove it. Or say it was a lie. Anyway, I don't care anymore, my class is suddenly the nicest any class has ever been towards me, they even apologized for the guy."

"Seriously?" they turned around and saw Chloe standing by the doorstep in her pajamas hugging her injured arm and looking at her with a surprised expression "That's great right? Oh and hey Jesse."

"Hey, it's good to see you in one piece" Jesse replied.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping ginger?" Fat Amy asked. Chloe poured herself a glass of water and dragged her feet to the table, squeezing between Aubrey and Beca in the seats, that in one side of the table were like a very long sofa.

"Yeah, you should definitely be sleeping" Aubrey scolded.

"Relax doctor Posen, I had a freaking nightmare, sorry if I didn't feel like staying in bed anymore" Chloe replied tiredly resting her head against the back of her seat.

"A nightmare?" Aubrey glanced worriedly at her "Are you okay? Do you maybe want a psychologist or something?"

"No, I'm good Aubrey. It was just a nightmare, it's all" Chloe replied and looked at Jesse "To whom do we owe the honor of having you here tonight?"

"To Beca who asked me for class notes for Aubrey and you" he replied.

"You should see those notes Chloe, they're awesome, and aren't hand-made!" Aubrey said excitedly.

"Yeah?" Chloe smiled looking at Beca, who was busy eating, and Jesse "Well thank you both then, it's a great gesture. Very considerate of you to remember missing a class is a horrible decision for a senior Beca."

"You would've done the same" Beca shrugged.

"Would you feel better if you talked about your nightmare Chloe?" Jessica asked, and Chloe stopped herself from shrugging.

"I don't know" she replied "It wasn't really a nightmare, it was more like a repetition of what I can remember happening last night. The crash, the pain, seeing my clavicle peeking through my skin. I guess it was a freaking scary experience." Aubrey stroke her thigh tenderly.

"It's gonna be alright Chlo" the blonde whispered looking at her.

"Yeah, in a couple months or so, when my arm and hand are half useful again and my brain stops working weird" Chloe opened her eyes, that she had been closing "Did you told them I can't sleep for more than three hours straight?"

"I was going to" Aubrey replied and looked at the others "If Chloe falls asleep, she has to be woken up every three hours, asked a question, not a very difficult one, not the easiest ones either, and if she doubts, acts weird or blanks, you call 911 as fast as a lightning."

"So are you going to class tomorrow Aubrey?" Ashley asked.

"I called my teachers, I'm going to go with the afternoon groups instead of my own, so I can be here in the morning while you guys are at class. She shouldn't be left alone in the house, and you guys should keep an eye on the phone in case she needs anything."

"Oh crap Jesse…" Jesse interrupted Beca.

"You already promised to cover my shift tomorrow afternoon Bec, and another eight girls will be here to look after Chloe" he said, and Beca nodded in defeat.

"Yeah, we all will be here" Flo nodded.

"There's no need for everyone to be in house arrest because of me anyway" Chloe replied.

"Nobody is in house arrest Chloe, we are just friends scheduling how we are going to take care of our very loved friend who just had a car accident" Aubrey said tiredly "Don't be an asshole okay?"

"I'm gonna go back to bed" Chloe said.

"You don't have to go" Aubrey argued.

"I'm still quite drugged up Aubrey, if not I wouldn't have gotten in a car in the first place to come back, and I'm still feeling like sleeping, so nightmares are gonna have to go and fuck themselves. I need my sleep" she stood up "Good night everyone, have a safe drive back Jesse." She wished before going to her bedroom.

Next time Beca saw Chloe was in the morning when she went to the living room to drink her coffee there and saw the ginger crying into Aubrey's arms softly. She shoot Aubrey a questioning look, but Aubrey just shook her head, and having no idea what that was supposed to mean, Beca quietly went back to the kitchen and had her breakfast there. Fat Amy left while she got dressed, and asked her if she wanted a ride she could wait, but Beca thanked her and refused. She didn't mind being the last one and not having a ride to class, because she had discovered the walk to Barden from there was quite beautiful. Firstly, it was the field, the trees, even a stream if she took the long way there, and she always walked in front of the same news stand, bought the same newspaper, and got asked the same questions and given the same good morning by the kind seller, and it became a beautiful routine for her. Stopping to take a look to the same horses, the same lake, the same trees, and finding almost always the same people on their way to Barden that she always saw.

After getting ready, she went to the living and now Aubrey was sitting in the sofa with her eyes closed and her feet on the coffee table, while she caressed Chloe, who was laying sleeping on the couch with her head over a cushion on Aubrey's lap and a blanket over her. Beca knocked the doorframe gently and both girls looked at her opening their eyes.

"I'm gonna go too. You're officially alone in the house" she informed them, and Aubrey smiled a bit and nodded.

"Okay, walk safely." The blonde said.

"Have a good day" Chloe wished her.

"Thanks, you too" Beca waved with a hand, and left.

And while she walked next to the road, between trees and flowers, she sank deep on her thoughts, wondering what could she do for Chloe. That was another new thing for her, actually thinking a lot about someone that wasn't her, or related to her, and something that had nothing to do with her own life, but she, for some reason, found herself obsessed with Chloe Beale, and she hoped it wasn't one of those obsessions people with Aspergers had, like mixing or other stuff she had, because Chloe Beale deserved much more than that. She deserved to be someone's world, and she didn't even know how she knew that.

Between the work at the radio station with her shift and Jesse's, and the classes, she didn't lose her time going back home for lunch and instead she went back later at night after work. The girls had just had dinner and were chilling out in the living, although Chloe was more sitting beside Aubrey with a blanket and her head on her friend's shoulder, sleeping, while Aubrey hugged her close with an arm. Beca took a sandwich and went to sit with her friends.

"I can't believe you came later than me" Aubrey joked.

"The boss wanted me to organized a few things more than usual" Beca shrugged "how is she?" she pointed at Chloe with her head.

"In more pain, now that the meds of the hospital wore off and the ones they sent her aren't as strong. But otherwise, okay." Aubrey replied caressing Chloe's forehead over the bandage, tenderly. Beca realized they had put some Betadine over the face and neck's scratches. Chloe frowned and opened her eyes "Everything okay honey?"

"Yeah… I thought I heard Beca" she whispered looking around confused.

"Here I am" Beca said, and Chloe stared at her and smiled a bit.

"I thought so. How was work?"

"It was nice" Beca stared at her in silence and Chloe nodded, looking at her with the shadow of a smile "I brought you something from work, I thought you'd like it and I doubt Luke will miss it, it was taking dust abandoned in the depths of a box." She went to her bag and got a CD album out, handing it to Chloe. It was some Indie group Beca had realized Chloe listened a lot. Chloe's face immediately shinned and she grinned looking at Beca.

"Thanks Beca! I love it, is perfect. Did you steal it?"

"Nah, Luke won't miss it. He's my boss, I basically organize albums and stuff… and if he asks for it I'll say I spend the afternoons between his discs and never saw it" she hated lying, she didn't see the utility of lies, and she was completely against them except when it was to protect something important for her, like really important. And making a smile on Chloe's face was really important for her now, she hadn't realize how much, for some weird reason, it saddened her to see Chloe's pale face and pale eyes, much less like they used to be.

"Thanks a lot Beca. If I wasn't too dizzy to get up, and you liked kisses, I'd kiss you" Chloe smirked looking at the album in her healthy hand "I love this group so much."

"Awesome" Beca smiled a bit, contemplating the coffee table, that had some empty mugs there.

"Will you stay with us for a bit Beca?" Cynthia asked "we haven't seen you since last night."

"No, sorry" Beca shook her head "I want to try finish a mix that has been stuck in my head all day and I think I've finally figured out how to finish it, and then I'll go to bed. But tomorrow is the last day of classes before the holidays, so I'll be around."

"The girls said you've finally moved in" Chloe said suddenly "is that true?"

"It's… I don't know Chloe. I've only lived with my mother or my parents before, and it was difficult enough, but I like it here, so for the time being, I have brought the essentials and some stuff more here, but I still have the key of my dorm just in case I miss it" Beca shrugged "I guess you can say I've moved in, yeah."

"Good" Chloe smiled closing her eyes again and moving a bit to accommodate her head on Aubrey's lap again.

Beca gave her good nights and went back upstairs. That night, after finishing her latest mix, she spent two hours, with only a lamp illuminating her bedroom, only studying back and forth her whole notebook, memorizing as much as she could, until she fell asleep.

"Girls" Aubrey came to the kitchen the following day, as lunch was being made and everyone was there, except Chloe, who was taking a nap "I need to talk with you all. When and how many of you are going home for the holidays?" They all said they were leaving the following day at different hours, except for Beca, who wasn't leaving "Okay. Beca, you're staying then?"

"Yeah, I've got Christmas with my father and my step monster this year" she explained "but I will only visit them for the Christmas lunch, why?"

"Chloe can't go home for Christmas, not with her concussion and her arm like that, she isn't allowed to take a plane and she wouldn't stand a long car trip not even if she could get into a car without being all drugged up" Aubrey explained "And she can't be left alone. Even less in Christmas. So I talked it out with my parents and I'm gonna stay for Christmas too, just wanted to see if somebody else was staying."

"Crap Aubrey" Cynthia said "Had we known before, we would all have stayed. We could've had an amazing aca-Christmas!"

"I figured you would be that kind" Aubrey smiled sadly "But Chloe would hate to be the reason everyone misses Christmas with family."

"But we are family" Fat Amy argued.

"You know what I mean" Aubrey replied "We are together every day for months, and then for a couple years we get to go home for Christmas, and see our whole families altogether. Chloe and I have been roommates ever since we got to Barden, we joined the Bellas together, she has been my sister all along, my family understands she needs me more than they do, and I can probably go home for Spring Break anyway. But you guys need to be home or it would be too obvious and unbearable for Chloe that you're staying only for her. We'll do something fun, I'll cheer her up somehow."

"Has she realized she can't go back to Florida for Christmas?" Jessica asked.

"She was having her hopes up until this morning the doctor was kind enough to come to take a look to her instead of making her go there, and she asked and he said there was no way she could leave Atlanta. She hasn't taken it very good, but she doesn't want you to worry about her."

"She's a very family person, right?" Beca whispered contemplating her feet.

"Yeah" Aubrey nodded "She has an older brother who lives in Canada, they are very close, but she barely gets to see him twice during the school year, seeing him, and his wife and one year old daughter whom Chloe also loves a lot. She hasn't seen them since July and with this, we won't see them until Spring Break, that if she's cleared for planes by the time it comes. Her family is just like her, super kind, friendly, warm, cheery… they celebrate Christmas like if it was the best day of their lives, and Chloe has never missed one Christmas, so is tough. She also hasn't seen her parents or rest of the family since September, so she misses everything, is not just Christmas."

That afternoon, they said goodbye to almost all the Bellas, until they were only five Bellas in the house. Jesse was leaving in the morning, and Beca planned to go say goodbye to him by then, but in the meantime, that afternoon she went to visit her father, and when she came home, she found the stuff of the Bellas that were leaving in the morning already parked in the entry and living room, and the four girls were sitting about to have dinner, so Beca filled her plate and nervously sat with them.

"So, my dad, he might be your teacher, but he's a great guy out of it, and yeah, he seems very serious but he's a joker, and he put this big Christmas tree and he's really nice and friendly, and my step mother, well, she could be a thousand times better, she's overly superficial and pretends to be my biological mother all the time, but she is fun to watch when you touch her nerves, and they cook a very good Christmas lunch most of the time."

"Beca, it's great to hear from you and your family, but you're rambling and we're barely catching you" Emily joked.

"Right" Beca nodded "The thing is, I was talking with my dad, and we decided, it would maybe be cool, I don't know if you'd be interested but Chloe, Aubrey, my dad invited you to have Christmas lunch with us, and even dinner the 24th if you want, you're welcomed in his house. It'll be his wife, he, me and well, it can be you two too. My dad told me you'd probably like to come, so I'm just asking, if you don't want it's fine too, really… It's not the same awesome Christmas with your whole families that is probably waiting at home, but at least you won't have to be all lonely here."

"Beca" Chloe interrupted, her eyes wet and a expression of infinite gratitude "Thank you. We'd love to go." Aubrey looked with a tiny smile between Chloe and Beca, and nodded.

"Yeah?" Beca seemed surprised nobody would want that kind of Christmas, but she imagined between that and sitting alone at a Christmas lunch for two, it wasn't such a bad option "that's good, good."

"Is Jesse going to Maine for Christmas?" Aubrey asked. Beca nodded.

"Yes, yes he is" he nodded "He and his parents are joining my family dinner the 24th actually, with my mom and my uncle, aunt and cousins, so it's funny that I'm staying. But I was last year and my dad barely gets to be with me so…" she shrugged "One can't split in two, right?" she said, jokingly. She got the tiniest smile from Chloe, but she counted it as a victory anyways.

The days went slower than Beca had never seen days go there. Snow covered Atlanta in a thin white layer, and sometimes it rained and even if it was just a drizzle, the snow melted a bit and the roads became particularly dangerous, like it happened the night of Chloe's car crash. The ginger had also showed PTSD lately, she would always turn the TV off or change channels every time news about car accidents came up, she would never let anybody drag her into any form of vehicle, even less public transport, and not even the tram, and even got anxious whenever Aubrey or Beca got into a vehicle, as Jesse had left his car there for Beca to use during the holidays and it was common that the brunette, that usually loved taking her monotonous walks around the same places, used now the car every time to avoid the cold, the cold weather, snow or rain, having to put her feet to the ankles into the snow, and having to walk next to a dangerous road where you never knew if a car was gonna slip and run you over. Chloe would sometimes wake up in the middle of the night after reliving her crash, and even if it only happen once every few nights –and only if something had triggered her, like if it was raining strongly- when it happened she freaked out too much to fall asleep again. That, combined with the frustration and discomfort or sometimes true pain of having a broken clavicle with a very complex and uncomfortable bandaging and a concussion, plus the dizziness or weird symptoms that were concussion-related and showed from time to time, ended up creating a unusually quiet, serious Chloe, that had a expression of always being in the verge of tears. Beca would have loved if she had just had an outburst of anger, and probably it would have been relieving for Aubrey too, but instead, she was just very thoughtful, distant and quiet, and if her arm made her fail at any task –like dressing up, or doing her hair- she would either sob, or, more commonly, put a defeated expression and just stop trying whatever she was trying to do, and that made Beca and Aubrey more desperate. Knowing it was enough with one complicated person at home, Beca tried not to add more stress to Aubrey, and read her notebook several times every night, and even called Jesse with a list of doubts and questions about human behavior and body language, and wrote down every piece of advice or answer Jesse or the Internet gave her.

When her parents divorced, Beca wasn't that experimented with Aspergers, and she didn't had the same experience or ability years of struggle had given her, so she would stand helpless when her mother cried, not knowing what to do, or what to say, and was just uncomfortable not having the same mother as always, which disconcerted her, not to mention her mother broke her routines significantly –when, for example, she was supposed to take Beca to school by car and she was just crying helplessly, which meant Beca had to change her routine and ask Jesse's parents for a ride or go walking- which wasn't something Beca liked. When her grandparents died, the four of them, she was, with all of those deaths, younger than ten years old, she didn't even knew she had Aspergers, so the level of discomfort, perplexity, and stupidity she felt was understandable, not knowing how to deal with even herself, let alone her sad parents. She felt the pain of the ones she loved, but she wasn't capable of making them feel she felt it and cared about them and wanted to help but had no idea what to do or say, so she just stood uncomfortably and seeming like a rude girl who didn't gave a shit for them. Whenever Jesse was sad, like when they were twelve and his dog died, Beca just sat awkwardly beside him patting his back, feeling sad for him, but not understanding how could he be so sad for a dog, or how could she help, and he had to tell her things like _give me chocolate ice cream and sit with me to watch a movie_ , and even if she didn't understand why and hated movies –because unless they had a good bunch of dialogue, she had no idea what was going on most of the time- she did because it seemed important enough for him, and she wanted to make him smile and tell her stupid jokes she couldn't get again.

With Chloe, however, it was different. She knew, from all she had been studying from her notebook, Jesse, Internet, from experience and from all the books she had and was reading, that all of her behavior pointed to depression or at least, a comparable level of sadness. She knew she missed the old cheery, happy and over touching Chloe. She knew she cared, because she felt some ache inside when she saw Chloe be sad, which was enough to push her to join Aubrey in her efforts to make Chloe smile. She studied general body language, and learned to develop the eye to distinguish the little details in a person's appearance that indicated sadness or suffering. She was so desperate for understanding the person who had given her so much in the past few weeks, she did everything she could think of to learn and understand, memorize behaviors and signs she didn't understand, and without understanding a thing, memorizing all the stuff people said helped them when being sad. She found herself spending hours just watching the ginger sleep on the couch or watch TV while pretending Beca wasn't staring creepily at her, and Beca studied her, she studied human behavior and body language, but mostly she studied Chloe. And she thanked her great memory a lot those days.

Beca knew people with Aspergers Syndrome sometimes developed certain obsessions, like she did with mixing, listening to music as much as she could, doing the Sunday's morning Sudoku from the newspaper –and she could stress the whole house a lot if Sunday came and somebody had taken the newspaper, making her impossible to follow her routine of coffee and Sudoku in the exact same seat next to the exact same window-, blowing up all the little air plastic bubbles from the plastic papers that sometimes enveloped some things that came home. She was also obsessed with Harry Potter and Star Wars, and she knew all the facts and stuff, well, she was obsessed as a child and she just kept the stuff she memorized in her memory, she was obsessed with cleaning every table before putting anything on it, and with making the whole room fall into perfect silence when she heard birds, and wanted to heard them completely, and not being able to do so would make her anxious. The Bellas, far from insulting her or being bothered by her, had found, even when they were hormonal or with their periods, a way to laugh her obsessions –the ones they knew and the ones that would come newly one day- and little things off, to stand them and even find them funny, cute, or curious, and Chloe had usually smiled and rolled her eyes the couple times that, while being everyone in the living room, some birds had been heard by the other side of the window, and Beca had made them shut up, opened the window, and spent entire ten minutes watching the birds amusedly, just staring without blinking, and almost without breathing, and just listening to them. Chloe even sometimes stared at her just as amused when she was doing something she was obsessed with. But lately, Chloe's humor was quite delicate, and her sadness affected to her sympathy, making it almost inexistent, just like her voice, and it was worse the closer they got to Christmas, so Beca realized –because she had studied body language that much- Chloe seemed to feel quite bothered with those little things Beca did, judging by the way she frowned, rolled her eyes, huffed, or pierced her with her eyes.

The afternoon before Christmas, Beca found herself obsessed with juggling with three little balls. Jesse had sent her a video of someone doing that and had told her it seemed like a good activity for Beca, and she, who quickly proved to exceed at that game, got obsessed with it. So once she had been practicing until achieving perfection in her bedroom, she went to the kitchen where Aubrey was reading the newspaper and Chloe was trying to catch up with her studies.

"Look, look! I've learned something quite cool" Aubrey looked at Beca with curious eyes and Chloe shoot her a more tired look that more than _oh, let's see what cool thing she knows now_ it seemed to say _what now?_. Beca excitedly spent a entire minute perfectly juggling the balls. Aubrey looked quite impressed, and Beca was proud of herself thinking she would make Chloe smile at any second, even if it was just because of her childish excited smile or her stupid moving-like-dancing thing she did while juggling, but instead, Chloe sighed noisily.

"We've seen it already Beca, can you stop now please? I'd like to concentrate on the billion things I have to do" Chloe ended up saying quite roughly. Beca immediately stopped, so suddenly one of the golf balls she was holding fell and bounced noisily in the ground. Chloe clicked her tongue noisily.

"Sorry, sorry!" Beca took the ball quickly from the ground.

"Are you done now?" Chloe snapped, and Beca nodded, avoiding her eyes "perfect."

Beca started to go out of the room shoving the balls in her pockets, Aubrey looking sadly at the two of them, when she realized the last Sunday's newspaper was in the table beside Chloe, and she hadn't done it because when she started, then something else came up and she just forgot. As quietly as she could, she walked to Chloe and when the paper cracked a bit and made a bit of noise, Chloe exasperatedly pierced Beca with her big, blue eyes, and an angry expression.

"Sorry C…"

"For God sakes Beca, take the damn newspaper already and just go get your noisy ass up to your room, please" she yelled suddenly, and Aubrey and Beca both stared at her perplexed. Chloe went back to her work without giving it a second thought and muttering while she did so "let's see if the damn Sudoku can keep her entertained and give me time to finish this before fucking Christmas…"

Beca nodded quickly and left the kitchen. Aubrey followed her quickly.

"God Beca I don't know what happened, I'm so sorry, the doc came yesterday and told her, her head and clavicle were quite better but her clavicle still hurts and she isn't sleeping well, and she misses home and has all these things to catch up with and she's just not herself, I know she is sorry f…" Aubrey was rambling in whispers as she followed Beca upstairs.

"Aubrey, I know, you don't have to defend her" Beca said feeling crestfallen as she left the newspaper on her desk, not in the mood to do it anymore "I'm not mad at her. I'm just a bit crestfallen, but I'm going to go take a little walk, and I'll be back before you even start getting ready for Christmas. Just make sure her mood improves before she has to meet my step mother, okay?" she said locking her eyes with Aubrey's. The blonde was also more crestfallen and exhausted than Beca remembered seeing her ever, and she had seen her study like crazy.

"Okay" Aubrey nodded, and when Beca was about to start going downstairs, she heard a muffled sob behind her and turned around, putting a hand on Aubrey's shoulder awkwardly. She knew what she was supposed to do, she just didn't feel quite comfortable with hugs yet.

"It's okay Aubrey, just a couple days more and she'll be better. And next week the Bellas will be back and they'll force her to be cheery just like they forced me to like Just Dance." Aubrey nodded, hugging herself with one arm, and covering her face with the other, breathing heavily in a desperate attempt to keep herself held together.

There was something about seeing Aubrey cry for the first time, the same Aubrey that always commanded her like a colonel, that kept herself together enough to organize their group after having just been called and told her best friend got into a car crash and was about to have surgery, the same Aubrey that took care of her with the final stages of her cold and Chloe with her pains at the same time, or got up every three hours for several nights to wake Chloe up in the middle of the night and ask her questions without complaining once, that was frightening to Beca. She liked stability, and Aubrey represented that. Aubrey never broke apart, Aubrey was the organizer, and Chloe the partier, and they combined made the perfect leaders for their group. And now, Aubrey was falling apart, and Chloe was falling apart, and she had had to take the quickest curse on human behavior to avoid falling apart too. It had been a couple weeks already, and she felt if she didn't do something now, the Bellas would come back to a complete disaster. She was horrible at those things, but she had been learning eighteen years, and it was time to put her knowledge in action and grab the bull by it horns.

"Give me a minute" Beca said, and Aubrey nodded between sobs. Beca ran downstairs, and without saying a word, took Chloe's hand a pulled her up.

"Come on Chloe."

"What the fuck are you doing?" Chloe snapped as Beca tried to pull from her to follow her upstairs. Beca suddenly turned around and stared angrily at Chloe.

"Shut the fuck up" she snapped, and she caused the effect the wanted. Chloe, who expected her to just obey her without more argument like everyone had done with her all along, not wanting to bother the injured girl, stood speechless with her mouth half opened "I know what is like, Chloe. I know how it feels to be suffering and think that nobody understands you, and having to miss good things only because you just can't do them even if you're craving to do them. But suffering doesn't give you the right to treat people like crap, I've taken a long time to actually learn it, but if you don't realize right now you've been crossing the line quite too much with your constant bullshit, then I have no idea what we're gonna do. I can't understand people, and you know it, you know how hard it is for me, but I put up with your bullshit, Aubrey did, and we've been understanding, we've tried to take care of you, to do the best we could to not bother you. I can hold your crap because I've suffered worse and I have a good therapist to ramble to, but Aubrey? You broke her. Are you listening to me Chloe?" she shook her good arm a bit. Chloe was staring at her speechless "You can treat me like crap if that gives you some relief and solace, because I've done the same to you countless times, but tomorrow is Christmas, and there's a girl in my room who you don't seem to deserve, who has been taking care of you like a mother would have done for days, who volunteered to spend a night in a uncomfortable armchair in the hospital only so you wouldn't be alone, who learnt by hear your injuries, your discomfort, your prescriptions, and everything the doctor said we had to do for you, and renounced to her own sleep for your health, and who has fucking renounced to spending Christmas in NYC, with her whole family, just for you, because she thinks you are more important. And she's crying her eyes out, because you broke her! So stop with that crap right now!" It took Chloe a second to comprehend what she was saying, and her face immediately showed worry, and ran upstairs despite her momentary dizziness. Beca followed her as slowly as she could, and when she arrived to her room, she found Aubrey crying heavily sitting on her bed, and Chloe kneeling in the ground between Aubrey's legs, with the blonde's forehead on her healthy shoulder, and stroking her hair and back with her out-of-the-sling hand, whispering comforting words on her ear. Chloe looked at Beca for a moment.

"I'm very, very sorry Beca. I've treated you both like crap, I'm sorry" she said. Beca just nodded.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading! I really hope you like it, and even if you don't, let me know just so I can get better and follow your advice!**

 **Now:**

 **-VanesaR: Beca has ALWAYS felt emotions, is a human being, she has feelings, emotions, and everything. Having Aspergers just make it all very hard to show. And thanks again, I hope you liked this chap!**

 **-Guest who just started reading: Thanks so much!**

 **-Jake: Thanks god because I wasn't very certain, now I'm more relieved. Thanks a lot as always!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here we go again! VanessaR, thanks, here you have it! Guest, thanks a lot, and Jake! thanks a lot man, you are so very helpful, I can't believe I'm so accurate but I hope I keep being it! thanks for everything :)**

 **And thanks a lot everybody. I was so sad this week after hearing about the attaks in Beirut, the French attacks on Syria, the Russian attacks on Syria, and the attacks to Universities and stuff so many places in Africa have been suffering. They deserve all our love and instead, we categorize the victims in social classes, think the French ones are first class, and forget about all the others. My thoughts and my love are with everybody who ever lost someone, who's fighting for their lives, and who won't sleep on a comfy bed tonight. Goes to all those refugees that don't know where to go because we're shutting them out, and goes to the couple of men my mom saw the other day at a shop ask how to go to a city that is very far away from mine, like crossing the country practically, and they are going there walking to find a job. You are all the heros of this sad story that ends with humanity, because the monsters that are doing this to you can't be called humans but monsters.**

* * *

Chapter 7:

Somehow, things got back to a semi normal situation. Somehow, they had actual fun the night before Christmas and even a great Christmas day with the best presents and the best Skype video calls to their families, and somehow, Chloe managed to put a happier self up and put actual effort on being better, which was more than enough to Beca and Aubrey, and even accepted playing Just Dance against Aubrey while Beca, with their permission, made comments about their ridiculous moves, which ended up making Chloe laugh her ass off, because their friend hid a funny, sneaky side.

The afternoon the other Bellas came back, however, wasn't the very first really bad afternoon for Beca in a very long time. Her therapist had returned from her holidays that morning, and called Beca to see her in the afternoon, and while most sessions were quite good, simple, easy, at least now that she was much better than she had been in years, that one was tough as hell, because that night, somehow, she had dreamed with the first time she was in a mental health hospital, she had dreamed with the night she was raped, and with some of her suicide attempts. She had no idea why she would suddenly have such a bad night, with a good bunch of terrible memories coming back at forth, but she left before anyone was up to go on a walk, she texted saying she would be home for lunch and then shortly after texted to say she wouldn't, as she had gone with the car around Atlanta –Jesse wasn't back yet- and taken a long walk, she sat in a park mixing for a good couple hours until the time came to go to therapy, and once she was there, her therapist didn't stop until she had brought back all her memories, which was useful because back in Portland she hadn't had the same therapist, and this one was much better, understood her much better, and when it was over, although Beca had cried her eyes out and felt like shit, she felt she would sleep good again, that that time, her therapist had helped her a lot with those memories.

But days like that brought the worst of her Aspergers back, and when she came home, past dinner time –she had stayed in Atlanta for some hours and had dinner on her own, feeling that all she needed was the calmness and loneliness of herself, which came in as a very relaxing and pleasant thing because that day social situations were stressing her out much more than in months- and was immediately bothered by the noise of laughs in the living room. The Bellas were, apparently, catching up and having the best time, and she felt like the worst symptoms of her Aspergers Syndrome were kicking pretty strong and she didn't even want to peek and say hi. But she sighed, she breathed deeply, noticing the noise had lowered probably because the girls heard the door, even if it still made her cringe, and walked into the living room. She was greeted with a general _Beca!_ full of happiness, but it made her wince. Her hearing had exacerbated a lot, she had a really good hearing in general, but that night it was like having a hangover.

"Are you alright Beca? You have a bad face tonight" Emily said with a worried voice.

"Yes…" Beca said in a lower voice, trying not to bother herself "I'm just overly Aspie today, so I would love to just be alone, in the silence of my bedroom, until it passes a bit. It's nice to see all of you again, but I just… I have Aspergers. I guess that's all" she explained "I'll be in my bedroom, don't go looking for me, I'll come when I feel better." Not wanting to give anyone the chance to argue or anything, she dragged her feet quickly out of the room and climbed the stairs, that seemed heavier than ever. The last flight of stairs, the one that ended in her bedroom, had a door at its beginning, that was usually open because Beca didn't mind it, but that night she softly closed it and climbed the shorter flight of stairs. She got into the softest pajama she owned, feeling her clothes all too itchy, and got into the bed without a second thought. Sometimes there were some periods of the year where she seemed almost non-Aspie, and then there were others where she was Aspie in quadruplicate, and the rest of the year, she was something in between that was manageable. That period though, she didn't know how long it was going to last, but she knew if her friends had gotten to think she wasn't that bad, now they were about to realize how crazy Aspergers could get.

"Beca, Beca, wake up, sleepy head. It's past noon" Beca, who almost always woke up before her alarm, was woken up the following day by the soft, sweet voice of Chloe, shaking her arm a bit, what made her wince before opening her eyes widely "Sorry. Beca, aren't you hungry sweetie? Lunch's ready, I can bring you a plate up here if you don't feel good yet."

"I'm having hypersensitivity, so please don't touch me Chloe" Beca whispered getting out of bed.

"Okay. Can I do something else? Anything?" Chloe stood next to the bed looking worriedly at her. Beca shook her head.

"I'm gonna go out a bit, I'll be home soon" Beca said "I'm not hungry, but thanks a lot. Don't worry Chloe, I'm not amateur, I know what to do. I think." Chloe nodded and left, and Beca went and dressed up with the warmest, softest set of winter clothes she had.

As quietly as possible, Beca went outside, where the winter was going away as the year had only a couple days left, and the winter was melting a bit. Maine would probably have a very deep layer of winter covering the state completely. Jesse was coming home in the afternoon, so she got into his car, and decided to park it where Jesse usually did, and leave the keys in his room –she had a key- and then, Beca went walking, which always soothed her, to her favorite place in the fields close to the home, to the cold stream she knew, and sat in the ground next to it, watching the water flow. Driving had relaxed her a bit already and that could only be better. The place was the most relaxing, because there she only had to deal with herself, she could close her eyes, lay on the grass, and avoid feeling overly stimulated by everything. In the calmness, only listening to the birds, she felt her senses relax a bit, and when she considered she was definitely much better, she stood up, having past a couple hours already, and went to the house again. She felt definitely much more relaxed, much less stimulated, but kept her eyes on the ground anyway to avoid visual overstimulation, and her outburst of symptoms in such a strong way –she usually had it, but in a much relaxed way that she was used to and could handle- had left her drained and with a weird feeling in the mouth of her stomach, like how you feel after having spent a night crying. And she decided if she couldn't fix it as an Aspie, she would try the non-Aspie method, the one that seemed to work for everyone else. She got into the house, walking into the living room as layers of clothes stained with just a bit of remaining snow fell to the ground. Some girls weren't there, but Chloe was sitting in a sofa reading, Aubrey next to her chatting with Cynthia, Amy, and Stacie, Emily seemed to be studying, so the room was quiet.

"Chloe" Beca called firmly, and the girls moved their eyes to her.

"Hey" Chloe replied "Any better?" Beca nodded.

"Can I ask you a favor?" Beca asked, and this time, Chloe nodded "Drop the book and make space for me beside you, please." Chloe left the book on the coffee table and moved closer to Aubrey to make more room for Beca, who had removed already her jackets, and took the blanket they always had on the back of the couch, wrapping herself with it and sitting next to Chloe. She breathed deeply, trying to discern if what she was about to do was going to freak herself out or not, and looked at Chloe, who stared curiously at her "Could you hug me? With the arm you can move." Chloe smiled, and pulled Beca into a tight hug, her cheek against Beca's temple as the brunette nudged her nose in the crook of Chloe's neck, closing her eyes and surrounding Chloe's stomach with her right arm. At first, she thought it had been a terrible idea, but then, the unpleasant feeling she was having before seemed to vanish a bit, and she snuggled closer, making it more comfortable. Chloe was running a hand trough her back tenderly and Beca started feeling sleepy "Am I hurting you?"

"No" Chloe replied "Am I?"

"No" and after a pause, she yawned against Chloe's neck "Thanks Chloe" the ginger grinned.

"Whenever you want" Chloe replied with a tiny smile, her right hand on Beca's shoulder caressing her upper arm softly, and her left hand, trapped in the sling, barely touching Beca's right hand with her fingertips. She couldn't move that hand a lot because somehow the movement there travelled to her clavicle and could bother her a bit, but at least she could touch her a bit.

Beca realized that, even though she couldn't tell if it felt like something not hundred percent awesome or not, she could tell that it was the most comforting feeling she had ever felt, or at least, one of the few. She was so relaxed, she felt asleep in a matter of seconds, and when she woke up, she was still just like she fell asleep, only that her right hand had fallen on Chloe's lap, and the ginger was still holding her just the same, while she sang peacefully. Beca, who hadn't heard her sing since before her crash, smiled a bit closing her eyes trying not to show she was awake so her friend wouldn't stop singing, and focused on her voice, mixed with the scent that came from her skin on her neck. She had a very high sensibility, not only with touch, but also with smell or hearing, even taste something, it was something she had always had, but with time and her therapy, she had learnt ways to avoid focusing so much in noises that bothered her too much and distract herself from them, or tastes, or smells, and there weren't even that many smells she hated, more like she didn't exactly like them, but not hate. She never wore perfume, and some flowers smelled not bad but too intense for her. However, she found she loved Chloe's scent. It wasn't one that she could compare with another smell she knew, and maybe that was the best part, that it was so unique, she had no idea how to describe it. And she could tell it wasn't perfume or some gel or shampoo.

Chloe was singing very softly some song that sounded like Indie and that was slightly familiar for Beca, and it was probably around dinner time, because she could smell dinner being made and noise from the kitchen. Beca was really trying not to make a noise, but her stomach had other ideas, and after not having eaten anything since yesterday afternoon or so, it roared, and Beca almost felt embarrassed, which stopped feeling when she heard and felt Chloe giggle, not singing anymore.

"You are hungry aren't you sweetheart?" Chloe whispered so tenderly Beca felt her ears warm up "Dinner will be ready soon, you'll see. Just rest now a bit honey" Beca knew Chloe didn't know she was awake, but she still fell asleep again. And a while after, Chloe shook her body with the arm she kept hugging her with, very tenderly, to wake her up "Beca, come on, let's eat a bit."

Beca moaned a bit not wanting to get up, and when Chloe giggled, she moved a bit, with a tiny smile on her face, putting her left arm over the back of the couch to support herself and pull apart from Chloe, who looked at her with a silly smile and sparkly eyes. Beca couldn't help to smile back.

"Hey" Chloe whispered.

"Hey" Beca was in that moment still leaning onto Chloe, but supporting on the back of the couch, and her right hand was still on Chloe's thigh, her faces pretty close to each other.

"Did you sleep well?" Chloe asked with another whisper and a sweet voice.

"Thanks to you" Beca replied, locking her eyes with Chloe's, and then her breath caught in her lungs. It was like she had never seen those eyes before, or the tiny freckles, almost invisible, that covered Chloe's nose and cheeks, that were rosy, and those intriguing, suggestive lips. She sure had seen it all a thousand times, but never from so close, and never staring. She had never really stared at Chloe until that moment, because one, she barely looked at people in the eye, and two, when her eyes went to faces, it was almost always for only a couple seconds tops. And now, she was staring intently at Chloe, almost surprised. It was like seeing something amazing and beautiful that had been hidden long for the first time, or like going to the beach the first time in summer, or seeing the first snowflakes of the year, or the Niagara falls. And damn, Chloe Beale was a beautiful, beautiful woman, she didn't had to think any more in that, it wasn't something to reflect about, because it was just a clear statement, an obviousness everybody would agree with her in.

At the same time, she realized Chloe was also staring at her, really staring at her –and when Beca realized, she felt herself blush- for the first time, because, or at least that was what Beca thought, the same way Beca hadn't been able to really look at Chloe before, Chloe hadn't been able to really look at her before either. And Chloe was looking at her with incredible attention, her lips forming the shadow of the smile that was there earlier, and it was like they were both stuck in a world of their own and almost forgetting how to breath.

"Chloe, dinner! Wake Beca up!" somebody shouted from the kitchen. Beca didn't even had brain left to think who owned that voice.

Chloe nodded and cleared her voice, blushing a bit, and pulling apart a bit, moving her eyes away from Beca for a second before looking back and staring a few seconds more, like somebody who thinks they've seen somebody known around the street and at first doesn't pay attention to it, but at the end they end up stopping and staring back to the person.

"It seems like it's time to get up" Chloe whispered with a raspy voice.

"It seems so" Beca whispered back, feeling like she was too numb suddenly to put more strength in her voice. She didn't even understand what had just happened to her, but she felt amazed, numbly amazed, like she did the first time her parents took her to Europe and she saw the Atlantic Ocean in all its greatness below them from the plane's window.

But instead of moving, they just kept staring, without saying anything, and like magnets, their faces were very slowly getting closer, so, so slowly, and then, there was a knock in the doorframe.

"Girls! Come on, dinner's gonna get cold!" Ashley said, and Beca and Chloe woke up, pulled apart brusquely murmuring things like _oh, yeah, yeah, sure, we're going_ , and blushing as they stood up and quickly made their way to the dinner table.

It wasn't until later, when Chloe was distractedly getting out of the bathroom in the first floor and Beca was on her way to her bedroom, that they almost crushed against each other and stared again. Chloe giggled and apologized when she almost crashed against Beca, and Beca murmured something of it being nothing, and then they were staring. And before her brain could hold her lips back, she was speaking.

"Would you like to come with me on a walk tomorrow morning?"

"Sure" Chloe nodded, and smiled "Where?"

"It's a surprise" Beca grinned, not even recognizing herself "But we could have our last lunch of the year as a picnic."

"So it's the fields" Chloe stated "You know it's cold outside, are you trying to get into another snuggle?" she asked and winked. Beca almost wanted to laugh, she didn't even know the answer to that.

"The ways of God are inscrutable" she quoted the Bible with a side smile, and Chloe rose her eyebrows in surprise. Beca had already turned around and put a foot on the first step when Chloe turned to face her back and replied smiling.

"I didn't took you for a Bible connoisseur" she jokingly pronounced the last word with a French accent.

"But you know I love to know stuff and memorize it!" Beca said in a joking voice turned around to look at her from the stairs, grinning. Then, in a more serious voice, she added "My grandmother taught me the Bible. Now go to bed, crasher." She smiled a bit, and Chloe smiled back, so she turned around, and walked the last steps to her bedroom, not bothering to close the stairs' door.

After breakfast, Chloe and Beca put their warmest clothes on, and went, Chloe following Beca's quick steps, to the stream in the woods Beca liked so much. To Beca's peaceful place.

"This place is beautiful" Chloe whispered. The place didn't had much snow, it hadn't snowed in around a week or so, and the snowflakes that were sometimes around the ground came from having fallen from the trees. It wasn't a dense forest, it had some shrubs, flowers, a thick layer of grass that was sometimes covered with some fallen branches or trunks. It was a broadleaf tiny forest that was just a bit far away from the Bellas' house and went on until almost the Barden campus "And you say this has always been here? All this time?"

"Yes" Beca nodded. They were standing next to the stream. There was a very tiny wooden footbridge that went over the stream, and they sat there with their legs hanging from the side of it, the water flowing below them "It's nice isn't it?"

Chloe smiled and nodded, supporting with her hand a bit behind her to lean back and look at the sky over them, covered in green from the top of the trees. Beca stared at her, enchanted somehow, with a tiny smile, seeing the ginger close her eyes with a smile on her covered in freckles face as a ray of sunlight crashed against them, making her ginger hair shine even more than usual. They could only hear the birds singing around the branches of the trees, and the water flowing, and their breaths. It was complete calmness.

"This place is awesome, I can't believe I miss it all these years" Chloe said "Now I understand how you go on walks so much. I bet it was even greater in autumn here."

"Yeah" Beca nodded "I love coming here. It relaxes me a lot when I'm overwhelmed or bothered by anything. Or when I just want to be alone and not feel lonely. I never even come here to mix, I think some places are too peaceful even for mixes to come."

Chloe sat straighter, and for awhile, she just watched Beca, who was staring at her feet, which were moving like two swings in the air, over the stream. She wished her eyes could photograph that, the brunette just so small an innocent contemplating her feet and, sometimes, the surroundings, her hair falling freely in waves, her eyes shining a bit when the right ray of sunlight met them.

"You never told me why the day before yesterday, and yesterday itself, were so hard for you." Chloe whispered, and Beca realized she hadn't really spent much time alone with Chloe, just talking alone, getting to know each other without everyone else around.

"I never knew" Beca replied, and turned her face to meet Chloe's "I've realized there are times when, for any reason in particular sometimes and sometimes when something happens and triggers it, I just have big Aspergers days. Like days when all I've ever learned, all the therapies, the meditation classes, the self control learning, all of it just disappears, and I'm left with the strongest symptoms of Aspergers and no way to fight it. And then, there are some days, even if it's incredibly rare, when I'm almost neurotypical, that is how we people with Aspergers or Autism, or any other form of alike syndromes and stuff call people like you that have any of it. But most of the days I'm a pure Aspie seeming like a pure Aspie who has spent eighteen years learning all that I've been able to learn to feel better with myself, and manage myself better."

Chloe nodded in understanding.

"I guess it's better as years go by, isn't it? I mean, now it definitely has to be better than when you first found out you had Aspergers, because you've learned a lot and then you had any of what you have now." Chloe reflected.

"Yeah, now it's definitely better" Beca nodded "I think the first years you just seem like you progress much more because you're trying to absorb all the knowledge that can be helpful that you can, and then, when you are older, and have less and less things new to learn about it, because you were so desperate and fast with learning the first years, it doesn't feel like you're progressing that much. But I guess that, knowing my syndrome is for life, the logical thing is assume that you learn what you can to make it somehow better for a few years, and then it's still there, and it's as better as it can be, but is still there and it will always be there until death."

"Do you ever wish" Chloe started after some time in silence "that you were neurotypical?" Beca smiled at her.

"When I first found out I wasn't, I wished it all the time. I cried for it, I put up so many tantrums for it, and sometimes when I have really bad days, I still do, but the rest of the time, I've learned to love it. You have to love who you are, you know? And what if I'm weird? For me, it's more of an achievement when I get to have good friends, or good things in general despite being incredibly weird and hard to deal with than if I were neurotypical. I get to memorize so many things, and learn so fast, and my senses, even if sometimes it's incredibly painful and upsetting, are like Superman, so sharp and developed. I learned to talk, and walk, and write super soon, and my parents kind of made the toddler Beca think she was super special and everyone else was just too common for my awesome person." She added with a joking tone of voice, looking with fake disdain at Chloe, who giggled.

"Oh, excuse me, your Highness" Chloe joked, and they laughed for a while "Hey, and how come you were so affectionate yesterday?"

"I get needy when I feel bad" Beca shrugged with a side smile "Nah, lately I've been brooding on the possibility of me being a natural not so affectionate person, like it not being because of Aspergers but because of my actual personality. In my family they aren't so affectionate either, so lately I've been thinking that maybe I'm genetically not very affectionate, but people like that sometimes are more affectionate, depends on the day, or the people, or the situation, but they can be, right? And I think there's a strong possibility that I'm just that, and that then, social rejection, depression and my own life experiences made me stop trying to even be, or want to be caring from time to time, and that maybe I just wanted to believe Aspergers made me unaffectionate" she explained and Chloe nodded "I don't even know if that makes sense" she added, making them laugh a bit "But I've always feel like I really didn't fond affection as much, and when I had my moments of just wanting to be affectionate, either the other person wasn't as comfortable, or I was looked weirdly like I wasn't supposed to be that way because of Aspergers. And then, yeah, of course sometimes because of it being touched is upsetting, but I think that only happens when I'm touched without expecting it, but that if I'm the one looking for it, Aspergers shuts up and lets me do whatever I want. You know, the best way to understand Aspergers is understanding that is actually not that different from neurotypical people, meaning that there are so many different kinds of people, some really cold and untouchable, and some really affectionate, some that seem almost neurotypical, some that couldn't be more different and hard to be around even if they tried on purpose, some that can handle a romantic relationship and some that have been married for years and have five or six kids."

Chloe stared intently at her and Beca smiled looking back to the stream. They feel into a comfortable silence for a bit, until Chloe broke it.

"I think you're one of the most amazing persons I've ever met" Chloe said.

"Really?" Beca said surprised. Chloe grinned and nodded.

"Really" Chloe assured "The way you put so much attention and care into every little thing you do, the way you value things most people don't even think much about like birds dancing and singing or the Sunday morning sudokus, or friendship, or being loved. That makes you a thousand more times more extraordinary than all the IQ in the world."

"That's what you think? Honestly?" Beca said amused.

"Honestly, yeah" Chloe nodded satisfied.

"You're amazing" Beca whispered suddenly.

They sat for a while, just staring at each other, and somehow, then it seemed like life couldn't be easier.

After some time, they started getting ready for lunch, pulling out the blanket and the food they had brought with them.

"Could you help me remove my sling?" Chloe asked "I like to let it free when I'm not going to move much so my elbow changes its position a bit and still works fine when I get the sling completely removed."

"Sure, but tell me if I hurt you" Beca said before kneeling behind Chloe, who was sat on the floor, and helping remove the sling that kept the arm as against Chloe's torso as possible, and then Chloe thanked her and accommodated her arm so it fell delicately on her lap "It still bothers you much?" she asked while they ate.

"Yeah" Chloe nodded "Mostly for sleeping, I have to sleep face up all the time and I hate it" she smiled a bit, shoving some pasta salad into her mouth "I also want to go back to class after the holidays, but I'm afraid I'll get too dizzy or faint. God, fainting in class would be so embarrassing… but the doctor said some people faint sometimes even months after having had a brain injury, so there's a chance. I just can't miss more classes if I want to graduate in June."

"Well, I promise to give you as many backrubs as you want when you're more healed" Beca said "And yeah, that's a chance. There are some statistics and stuff, I have a cousin who fell downstairs once, and it's been five years and four faints, but I don't think you should be embarrassed if that happens for three reasons. The first, they've been with you for four years, so they love you too much. Second, you're awesome, so nobody would dare to laugh, and if they do, Aubrey or I will find out and kick their ass. And third, you've won awards singing and dancing in front of people, fainting can't be more embarrassing than doing that onstage." Chloe laughed.

"Thanks Becs" she said then "Aubrey I don't doubt it, but you? Seriously?"

"For you?" Beca locked her eyes with Chloe's "Anything." They stared at each other for a bit, and Chloe smiled. Beca cleared her throat, blushing a bit "Anyway… what are you doing after you graduate? Will you leave Atlanta?"

"I don't know yet" Chloe said "Lately I've been interested in art, painting, drawing… I also love photography. I've been taking classes after school for like six years here and back in Tampa, well, until the crash of course, but I want to go back in January too. What I mean is that even though I'm studying for teacher, there are other things I love enough to maybe have jobs there, and I love Atlanta, and I love Tampa, and I would love to see the world too. But I'm so young I've been thinking that maybe I could stay in Atlanta for a year, maybe two more, find a nice place to live, and I could help you guys with the Bellas, and paint, or work at some photography studio, or do teaching practices… there are many things to do, and a lot of time to travel and do other things. I think after being in a potentially deathly situation I'm more inclined to just work more on my passions."

"It makes sense" Beca nodded "and we would love to have you around! Can you show me something you painted when we get back at home? I may haven't mentioned it before, but I actually love art."

Chloe grinned.

"You've seen one of my paintings a thousand times" she said.

"Really?" the brunette said surprised, and Chloe nodded excitedly "How come?"

"The framed painting on the wall? Over the stairs that lead to your room? I painted that. Aubrey thought we had to put it something, that it was too good."

"No way!" Beca grinned "No, you are not cheating me, I know that painting, is _Wanderer above the sea of fog_ , and Caspar David Friedrich painted it, I love that artist." Chloe smiled at her.

"I know, I love him too! That's not the original Beca, you know we can't afford it, I don't even know where it is. But it's a copy. Look behind it, my initials are there" Beca stared at her, fascinated.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Wow" Beca nodded for herself "Amazing. Freaking talented."

"You're not so far away either" Chloe smiled "For an eighteen years old, you are impressive."

"And you say that without having heard me play piano yet? That's cute" Beca joked a bit, and Chloe laughed.

"I'd love to hear that though" she said "So, are you coming to the new year's eve celebration?"

"What's the plan again?" Beca asked.

"We were thinking on heading to Atlanta center. There is going to be a concert in a square, you know, very outdoors, and there will probably be some drunken Bellas involved, I can't drink with my current health though so I won't be one of them" she smiled a bit "And there'll be dancing involved, and home probably late, like five in the morning, although I'll probably ask Aubrey to take me home earlier because I don't think I'm in any state to hold on that long, and there will be fireworks and stuff. I think it's going to be fun, but there will probably be a lot of people, so I didn't know what you'll think."

"I'll go" Beca said surprising even herself "Yeah, why not? I'll be fine, I like music, the girls aren't the jerk kind of drunks, but the funny ones, and outdoors the quantity of people won't bother me as much, and if it does, I'll head home earlier. We could head home together early if you want, I don't have Jesse's car anymore, but we can walk like strolling, whenever you want, and it can only take an hour or two to get home from there right? It's not that much." Chloe smiled a bit.

"Yeah, that will be fun. Aren't you drinking tonight Mitchell?" she added winking.

"No, I never drink really. Why did you call me by my last name, is it a bad thing?" Beca asked confused.

"No, it's just I like it. I think it's a pretty last name" Chloe replied, and Beca blushed a bit "So… it has something to do with the fact that you used to drink a lot?"

"No, I never drank a lot. I guess it must be because of Aspergers, but I was always incapable of drinking much, the taste could be good or not, but just thinking I was purposely buying lottery tickets for a liver problem or death gave me a headache" Beca shrugged while eating "Then I started using it to try and kill myself. And then I guess drinking became a way to forget my problems and my life, and in many cases, a way of trying to commit suicide, so now every time I'm good and drink, I can do it for fun, because I immediately relation it with depressing memories."

"I'm sorry" Chloe said after a few seconds in silence "I'm making you talk too much about hard stuff."

"It's okay Chloe. I prefer people having the actual truth than making up their own versions" Beca replied with a sad smile "Come on, let's live for today!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi! Thanks reviewers! So, Vanessa, thank you, and Jake, thanks a lot, is a relief seeing I'm being a good writer of Aspergers! about your question, I think the same as you, but no, I haven't included Christmas because it was with Beca's dad and step mom, Aubrey and Chloe, people Beca's too comfortable around to show a true Aspie I thought. But I'm writting chapter 18 right now and I can tell you around chapter 19 or 20 there will be a Thankgiving celebration, so there you have it!**

 **This chapter is beautiful and sweet!**

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Chapter 8:

Back at the house, Beca smirked when, on her way to her bedroom to change clothes, she spotted Chloe's painting and when she looked behind it, she saw on a corner was smoothly written _CB_. When it was still the last few couple hours of 2011, the friends headed to downtown, in Atlanta, to celebrate. There, they were supposed to meet the Trebles, who quickly joined them and the big group spent some time between catching up and heading for dinner and then, to the concert in a big square, some of them having already drank pretty much. Beca took the opportunity to catch up with Jesse, and they spent a long time talking like the siblings they practically were.

She wasn't precisely in love with being around so many people, but at the same time, it was people she was so close with, she didn't feel that uncomfortable. Maybe so many boys bothered her a bit, but whenever she wanted, she could always just stick between the girls.

After some time in the concert, the musicians stopped because it was time for the countdown. The city council was there and everyone turned to look at its big clock, and Beca was standing between Jesse and Chloe excitedly. She always felt so nostalgic and a bit sad when that time of the year, thinking about the ones that would never live to see 2012, about all the things, good or bad, she had lived, about her grandparents, or passed times that were better, and in that moment, as she joined everyone counting from twenty to zero, she realized she didn't want to go back in time, only forward. She always thought the best thing was when having seven or six years, but now she was thinking the best was yet to come. That year, 2011, hadn't been good or bad, but the last four months had been extraordinary and beyond amazing, probably some of the bests of her life, and she promised herself, maybe as a new year's purpose, to do everything she could to have a following year that was much greater than the one she was leaving behind. Huge grins came into their faces as they yelled _five, four, three_ , and Beca smiled for a second locking her eyes with Jesse and then looked to the other side and Chloe grinned at her yelling:

"Happy new year 2012!" and then, Beca almost yelled _what the fuck_ when she saw Jesse pull Aubrey in for a passionate kiss that was corresponded, but before she could do that, Chloe, taller than her, tugged her arm and then pulled her in for a tight hug "Happy new year Beca" she whispered on her ear, above all the noise, the cheering, the laughs, the music that came back.

"Happy new year Chloe" Beca whispered back, smiling and closing her eyes as her arms hugged her closer.

Hours later, they were at a club and Beca went outside to the balcony, looking for some peace for a bit and starting to feel like going home. She looked at her watch, seeing it was past three in the morning, and she supported her body on her elbows on the railing, her drink –her second coke of the night- hanging from her hand. She closed her eyes feeling the cold air on her face and relaxing against that.

"Wow, those two can't stop snogging can't they?" Chloe joked, coming into the balcony and sitting on a sofa that was behind Beca, against a wall "You okay?" she added, looking at the back of Beca's head.

Beca giggled.

"The bastard didn't even told me he liked her" Beca commented, not looking at Chloe yet, and she finished her drink with one gulp "Yeah, just wanted some fresh air" she replied leaving her empty glass on the floor and turned to walk towards Chloe, and then looked at her and frowned "Are you alright?"

Chloe was leaning back on the couch, with her eyes closed, and with her right hand she was pinching the upper part of her nose and then huffed letting her arm fall on her lap. When she heard Beca's question, she opened her eyes just a bit and smiled feeling Beca sit beside her.

"Not so much, I don't know why anybody told me how crazy of me it was to dare to come to a party night like this when I just had a concussion less than a month ago" Chloe replied, leaning her head on Beca's shoulder.

"Oh, Chlo, we knew you were too stubborn to even try" Beca smiled a bit putting an arm around Chloe's back, feeling the need to hold her somehow, and half hugging her "Does your head hurt much?"

"It hurts a bit, like a migraine" Chloe replied in a whisper "I feel numb."

"Okay, let's just go home alright? You and me." Beca said.

"But I don't want you to miss the party!" Chloe replied.

"Chloe, it's three twenty, we've been out for like six hours already. And there's no way I'm letting you spend the first hours of the new year suffering in silence, so let's go. Plus, I was starting to get sick of socializing for the day" Beca calmly argued.

"You sure?" Chloe frowned a bit.

"Of course. I'm gonna take you home, and then you're going to go to bed, and I will even sing you to sleep if you want." Beca said standing up and pulling her up from her head. Chloe giggled and they went inside. Jesse and Aubrey had finally stopped snogging and were at their table with some other of their friends.

"There you are!" Aubrey smiled at them.

"I could say the same" Beca winked "Chloe and I are leaving."

"You can't leave now, we're in the middle of the climax of the night!" Jesse argued and Beca half laughed half snorted.

"You are about to have a real climax buddy" Aubrey and Jesse blushed "No, seriously, we are going now. We are tired, and we prefer having good first hours of the year than bad ones."

"Yeah, you guys have a good time, okay? We did it too!" Chloe said smiling "We're just tired."

"Okay" Aubrey stood up and got closer to them so the others wouldn't listen "It's everything alright?"

"It's okay, really Aubrey" Chloe replied "my head just hurts a little, that's all. And Beca was tired too and offered to go with me so any of us would have to go alone. She's also too young to go alone" Chloe joked, and Aubrey glanced worriedly at Beca.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of her" Beca promised.

"What really worries me is that your hospital phobia won't let you take her there if things turned worse and she really needed it" Aubrey whispered.

"Aubrey" Beca locked her eyes with hers "Chloe is going to be perfectly fine, and nobody is going to need to go to any hospital tonight. You take care of our girls, I'll take care of this one, and if it makes you feel any better, I would never let her suffer at home from my fear of hospitals, okay? I swear."

"Okay" Aubrey nodded and kissed Chloe's smile "Get home safe girls, if you need anything, start calling until someone picks it up, and I'm expecting a text saying you got home safe!"

Chloe nodded and smiled. She waved to the others and, with Beca, they left.

There was quite a walk from there to their house in the middle of the night, which would usually be a bit terrifying to any girl, but they trusted each other and believed they were safe as long as they were together. And they could always take a taxi if they had to. They didn't take long to leave the city and head for the road that went to their house. It was a darker road, but that night there were many cars going around illuminating it, and the fireworks helped a lot too. Also, the road had some lightings. Chloe took Beca by the arm, resting her head on her shoulder as they walked.

"Do I have to take you to the hospital?" Beca asked.

"No, it doesn't hurt as much now that we're in a much quieter place" Chloe replied "I'm just so tired. Danced too much."

"One can never dance too much, it's never enough" Beca replied, and Chloe giggled.

"How's that?"

"Because dancing is good for the heart, and for many other things, and is fun, and we should never stop doing fun stuff, and we never know what dance will be our last one so…" she shrugged.

"Never stop dancing."

"Never stop dancing.

"And never stop singing."

"Exactly."

"Would you sing something for me now?" Chloe asked "I'd love to hear a full song from your lips instead of falling asleep in the middle of it."

"Right" Beca smiled "Any preference?"

"No, just sing whatever you want." Beca nodded, and after thinking for a bit, she cleared her throat and started singing.

" _Hey stranger, when will I call you my own. I know I don't know you, but there's somewhere I've seen you before. Whatever your name is, whatever you do. This living between us I'm willing to lose._ " She was singing with her sweet, beautiful voice, and Chloe smiled closing her eyes to enjoy it " _Just hold me, if ever our paths may collide. I want you to hold me, under these darkening skies. Whoever you love now, whoever you kiss, the ones in between us, I'm willing to miss. Now I'm drifting out over deep oceans, and the tide won't take me back in. In these disparate nights I'll call you again and again._ " she kept singing, with a tiny smile on her face as she contemplated the sky with the fireworks covering the stars " _There's a comfort, comfort in things we believe. But I live in danger, wanting the things I can't see. Wherever you live now, wherever you walk, there's distance between us, I'm willing to cross. Now I'm drifting out over deep oceans, and the tide won't take me back in. And these desperate nights I'll call you again and again._ _Now I'm drifting out over deep oceans_ _, a_ _nd the tide it won't take me back in_ _._ _In these desperate nights, I call you again and again… Now I'm drifting out over deep oceans_ _,_ _and the tide it won't take me back in_ _._ _In these desperate nights, I call you again and again_." Chloe was mesmerized by her voice, that she loved so much " _Hey stranger, when will I call you my own_ _…_ _I know I don't know you_ _, b_ _ut there's somewhere I've seen you before_." She finalized, and Chloe grinned looking up to her.

"That was very, very beautiful" she said.

"Thanks" Beca curved her lips in a smile.

"Is there any particular reason why you choose that one or you just like it?" the ginger asked. Beca shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess it just came to my mind that you may be leaving in just a few months and I thought it was a nice song for the real first friend I got to actually make on my own, Aspergers and all. I don't even know how I got Jesse, but I believe a two years old innocence has a lot to do with it" she smiled and looked at Chloe "I just want you to know I really appreciate you. And I will miss you a lot." Chloe smiled a bit.

"I'm going to miss everything a lot too, even if I stayed in Atlanta. Barden, the Bellas, the Trebles, sharing a room with Aubrey, you…" she had a sad expression "Is quite terrifying to suddenly just be on my own, be an adult that is supposed to know how to live by herself and perfectly fine."

"You know you don't have to know any of it. I don't think anybody really knows, ever" Beca said "But if you wanted, I could always try to help you out on whatever you want."

"That would be awesome" Chloe smirked "And Beca?"

"Yes."

"I love you too."

Beca frowned and smiled looking at her.

"I never said I loved you."

"But I know you do. Some things don't need to be said, even for you" Chloe grinned looking at her "Come on, tell me you don't love me."

"I…" Beca rolled her eyes "I do care a lot about you. And I worry about you. And you've become as close to me as Jesse, practically. And I do try to make you happy when you're not. And to make you smile or laugh from time to time."

"And that, my friend" Chloe put her mouth close to Beca's ear "Is called loving someone."

"But is not like being in love, right?" Beca asked, curious.

"Of course not. Haven't you ever been in love?" Chloe asked. They were still walking next to the road.

"No, not really I think" Beca replied "I never got that close to anyone. And when Jesse fancied me, I never felt like I was in love. I love him, I already did it back then, but not like in love."

"Wow" Chloe curved her lips, smiling a little "So do you even know if your straight, gay… maybe asexual?"

"What? No! Chloe, for God sakes, I'm not asexual. Asexual are the ones that have a lack of interest in sexual life, and sexual attraction, like they don't have interest in any of it. And I do, I've felt sexually attracted to people." Beca explained.

"To what kind of people, if I may ask?" Chloe asked.

"I don't know… I've always thought Jesse was sexy, for example, like I could have fucked him if he wasn't my friend and I was the kind of girl who goes sleeping around with the first one she has a chance with" Beca said, blushing. Chloe giggled "I've had sex, well, I was forced to it, but I've always thought sex and making love wasn't the same thing, and I've never wanted to have sex. I want to make love, that is."

"Good to know."

"Yeah… when I was eleven or so, I babbled for this guy in my class… but he never paid me the slightest attention. I thought he was really hot."

"And have you ever thought a woman was hot?"

"God, yes, of course. I'm the kind of person that has zero problems admitting a woman is sexy or hot, but I've never really sexually desired a woman, or fallen in love with one, like it has happened with men, you know? So I think I'm straight." Beca explained "You, miss questions?" Beca playfully elbowed her, and Chloe giggled.

"I think I'm bisexual" she replied "I really fancied Tom, and I've had boyfriends and loved them and felt sexual desire for them… but lately, I've been thinking about this girl a lot, and I don't really know how I feel for her, but I know I really care about her, and I think she's beautiful, and sexy, and attracts me sexually, which doesn't mean I'm ready to corner her and have sex with her or anything" she quickly said "but I do fancy her a lot. I would love to make love to her if I loved her, which I don't know."

"Do I know her?" Beca asked curiously. Chloe smiled.

"Yes, you know her very, very well. But I'll tell you who she is once I've completely figured out what I feel for her. You'll be the first one to now, I swear."

"Wow, before Aubrey? I feel flattered" Beca joked.

"Well, since I had no idea Aubrey fancied Jesse, she will have to forgive me." They laughed.

"That's right, who would've thought uh? But they seem good to each other. Well, when she leaves if she does, it won't be pretty though… but for now, she's a good girl, and he's a good boy, so good for them."

"Yeah… our best friends dating. If you think about it, it's kind of creepy though, your brother dating my sister makes us practically sisters" Chloe joked.

"Well, I'm going to remind myself the four of us aren't actually related at all then" Beca laughed.

Not long after, they were home, and they showered and changed into their pajamas, and then, Chloe, exhausted, let herself fall on her bed. Beca jogged downstairs and knocked on Chloe's door.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure" Chloe replied, with her eyes closed. Beca opened the door, closing it behind her, and got into the dark room, smiling down at Chloe.

"What are you doing?" Beca asked sitting on Aubrey's bed "I don't think you're gonna get warm tonight with the duvet under you."

"I know, I'm just too tired" Chloe opened her eyes and moved to put the sheets over her, and then got comfortable. Beca smiled a bit standing and sitting on the side of Chloe's bed.

"Come on, close your eyes. Now breathe deeply in and out…" Chloe did so, and Beca started humming a song, softly, until a bit after she had realized Chloe had fallen asleep "Sleep tight Little Freckles" she whispered standing up. When she was about to reach the door, she sighed and went backwards, and kissed Chloe on the forehead "Don't you dare have a nightmare tonight. But just in case…" she took some big pillows that Chloe had left on her desk's chair, and put them in the floor between the two beds, and got as comfortable as she could laying over them, and closed her eyes, trying to fall asleep despite the cold and the uncomfortable of sleeping over some pillows that moved if she moved. But Chloe could wake up from a nightmare, or wake up thirsty or something, and she didn't want her to be alone, Chloe wasn't used like she to be alone, and she was also still convalescent and could feel bad or something. So she wouldn't sleep alone tonight, not even until Aubrey was back.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi everyone! I really love this chapter, so I hope you love it too. If you like to read bechloe fanfics, you may like my fic "You make me bulletproof", that is also in this website and has a second part, "Unstoppable". They are both long fics. So, I've been told my English hasn't been very good in this story, and I'm gonna try to make it better. I used to be much better with English but lack of practice made me worse, but I'm gonna try to pay more attention –most of my mistakes come from wri** **ting too fast, too passionately, and in bad hours rather than from not knowing the correct form of things- and I'm also revising a bit every chapter before publishing it. If you have any further problem, however, please let me know and maybe I'll look for a Beta, but I'm very dependent and I'll rather not have to work with one hahahah. Also, as many of you know, I'm Spaniard, so if any of you come from Latin America, Spain or knows Spanish and wants to leave reviews in Spanish, it's perfectly fine!**

 **Oh, and I know it was THANKSGIVING last Thursday right? We don't have that in my country, and I'm not completely in favor of the holiday because it represents the massacre with the Native Americans, but I love that it also represents being thankful for all we have, and I hope you guys had a nice day. I'm thankful for all of you!**

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Chapter 9:

When Beca woke up, her neck was sore and there was a blanket over her. She sat straight on the ground, stretching, and saw Chloe sleeping deeply and Aubrey cuddled in her own bed too, and the sun was peeking through the curtains. She saw in her watch it was around nine, which meant she had slept around five hours. Knowing she wouldn't be able to fall back asleep, she got up, put the pillows back in the chair and the blanket on Aubrey's bed, where she remembered having seen it, and as quietly as possible went to the two windows in the room and pulled the blinds down so the girls could sleep more. Silently, she got out of the room, walking over some of Aubrey's clothes that had just been thrown to the ground –Beca was pretty sure Aubrey was completely nude in her bed, judging by her back, that was the only thing she had been able to see and was completely nude- and tiptoed to her room, getting showered and dressed, and then went back to the first floor, quietly, peeking in each bedroom to thee pretty much the same: a couple sleeping girls in each, and clothes scattered around the floor. So she went to the kitchen, made enough coffee for everybody, put all the Advil in the house, a couple boxes actually, on the counter, and made around twenty pancakes if not more, she ate her own, and left the others on a plate inside the microwave. She took a piece of paper and wrote: _Pancakes in the microwave, and I believe there should be enough coffee and Advil for everyone. I'll be back for lunch. Take care. Beca. P.S.: Thanks for that blanket, Aubrey._ After her teeth were clean, she hung her purse on her shoulder, and went out.

There were only five days until they had to be back at classes, but the radio was still working, and she was supposed to be there an hour ago, but she knew Luke was still out of the city, so who cared. She made her same routine, going to the same places, buying the first newspaper of the year from the same person, and went to the studio. After her shift, she took a while to go back home, walking around, buying pizza and bothering to call Jesse and make sure he was fine, which he was, and then spending all the way back home incredibly proud of herself for having realized calling him would be a good an appreciated idea.

Back home, however, it looked more like if a funeral had happened there, incredibly quiet and in silence. Despite being almost one and completely lunch time, all the girls were sitting in the table, taking their coffee in small sips and looking like they were all dying, with a huge hangover. Empty plates rested on the counter, and Chloe was smiling drinking her coffee standing with her butt supported on the kitchen island and contemplating the girls like if she was saying _oh, it's so beautiful not to be the one with a hangover_. She grinned when Beca came into the kitchen, and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey" she whispered "thanks for everything. We woke up around an hour ago, or well, they woke up and having them dragging their feet around like zombies and making weird noises, throwing up and crashing against stuff, woke me up" she giggled.

"Oh, well, you've slept nicely then" Beca smiled "Feeling better?"

"Loads. Did you sleep well?"

"I had a nice sleep" that way, she didn't have to lie, really.

"Why did Aubrey have to leave you a blanket? I didn't think it was okay to make a lot of questions when she's been throwing up quite a lot" Chloe whispered.

"I may have slept on the ground in your room using some pillows. Forgot to take a blanket" she explained, and Chloe rose her eyebrows.

"Oh, Beca! You didn't have to!"

"Well, I didn't like having to leave you all alone down there and I guessed Aubrey would need her bed" Beca shrugged "it's okay, really."

"Thanks" Chloe smiled "You bought pizza."

"I did, I bought five, didn't know how much you guys eat" Beca nodded looking at the pizzas, which were on the counter.

"They aren't eating anymore, they even left pancakes left" Chloe said.

"They really are crappy, uh?" Beca smiled "More for us, then." Chloe giggled.

"Oh, not again" Aubrey muttered in such a whisper at first Beca didn't understood a thing, until she saw the blonde run to the closest bathroom and throw up on the toilet. Chloe was kneeling beside her and holding her hair back and whispering soothing words on her ear in a second, and Beca followed her to the bathroom. Aubrey threw up for a while –even if after two times there was no more to throw up, but she still had retching- and then sat on the floor with her eyes closed and her head against the wall, breathing deeply and letting Chloe stroke her face with a wet towel.

"How much did you drink, honey? You never go this far" Chloe whispered lovingly, kneeling beside her.

"I know" Aubrey said with raspy voice. Beca crossed her legs, sitting next to them "By the time you left I hadn't drank much, and I had eaten so it was better. But then, Benji –Jesse's best male friend, who was also a Treble- paid a round of gin for everyone, and then we danced, and Jesse bought me something else, and then we all went to some other places, and people felt happy and invited us to more drinks, and then we went to a concert, and drank more... I think Jesse only took a couple drinks or so, because he was driving the Bellas' bus, and another Treble their bus, and he drove us here, and made sure we went to bed, I believe, and then left."

"Jesse's fine, I spoke to him earlier" Beca said "So, what have you learned?"

"That drinking is not that good if you need a week to recover?" Aubrey sighed "God, I'm the oldest, I'm the responsible one, I'm the future doctor, I was supposed to take care of everyone else…"

"Don't beat yourself up" Beca said "Nothing happened, everyone is mostly fine, so it's alright."

"But what if somebody had ended up with a ethylic coma?" Aubrey worried "I wouldn't have even known. Look at Emily, I think she has barely drank in her whole life, I'm horrible."

"Aubrey, don't be so hard on yourself" Chloe scolded her "Don't worry about what didn't happen."

"Yeah, and if it makes you feel any better, had anybody ended up in the hospital, you said Jesse barely drank and another Treble was sober, so they would've called me, and I would have went there and made sure everybody was taken care of. Or, the meds, or somebody else, would've called Chloe, and I would've taken her phone, and I would've been there anyway." Beca stated "Aubrey, just because hospitals terrify me doesn't mean that I will refuse to put a foot on then if I have to."

"Yeah, I've learned not to underestimate Shorty Badass" Chloe giggled and Beca put a face of self-sufficiency.

"I'm gonna go make sure the others are alright" Beca said, standing up "May the force be with you Aubrey!" she joked before going out.

Beca and Chloe spent the day taking care of everyone, and by late hours of the afternoon, everyone was pretty good. They were all hanging around the living room, fighting with pillows, when the doorbell rang, and Aubrey went to open the door.

"Beca, it's for you!" she came into the living room "Some old man, he said he's Mr. Kattleborn." Beca frowned.

"That's the dad of the guy who raped me" she muttered "what the fuck is he doing here?"

"I'll tell him to leave you alone" Chloe said.

"No, he somehow figured out where I live, I better take care of this. If I'm not back in five, call the police" Beca said, and went to the door, where the man patiently waited "I thought it was clear your family had to stay away from mine."

"I know, Beca, but Justin, he wants to apologize for what happened after the competition, he's a good guy, he just doesn't understand why you are trying so hard to make his life hell, with the trail, with lying to everybody making them think you're sick and that he…"

"Shut up!" she stepped outside with her index finger pressed in the chest of the much bigger man "Shut the fuck up, Kattleborn, this is it, I'm not going to stand your crap any longer! I don't care about whatever lies you want to tell yourself, but your son, he _confessed_ to me what he did and he was _proud_ , I made nothing up, and I am not sick, I've got a syndrome, and your son raped me, left me pregnant, and then he was still angry at me for losing it when all I wanted was to die. So no, I'm not gonna let you, or any of your family come any closer to me, my people, my family, anymore and try to discredit me and put me as a whore, I've had enough with all of you! Stay away from me, or I will call the cops, and they will have your son arrested for harass." She yelled, feeling herself tremble from anger. She had been screaming to the man making him go backwards through the garden and making her walk forward.

"Hey!" the Bellas had stepped into the garden and were walking to her.

"Your mother should feel sorry for having given birth to such a disgrace that prefers tormenting a poor little b…" he started saying, but she spitted over his face.

"Don't ever talk about my family like that, you poor excuse of a man!" she yelled at him "Go, and I hope I never come across anybody of your family again because I will have your son arrested!"

"Is this asshole bothering you Beca?" Cynthia asked, as the Bellas stood behind her protectively.

Beca was trembling in rage, her heart beating strongly in her chest asking for revenge, her eyes shining with no fear and so much fear she felt like she could explode, like her skin was burning like a bomb about to explode. She wasn't the weak anymore, she was strong, because she wasn't alone anymore. Not that she was before, but now, she didn't _feel_ alone, she had ten people right behind her willing to beat the crap out of each member of that family. She had grown stronger, and ever since she decided she was going to live a full life, no matter if who didn't like that, she had grown inside the strength to pull up against all the crap like she had never done before. Before, she would have started crying, or she would have yelled and then had a breakdown, or she would have panicked, but that was all in the past. She was pinning her eyes on the man's eyes and making him fear her.

"Don't worry Cynthia, he was just leaving" she said through grilled teeth, feeling like a really, really angry and dangerous lion.

"This isn't over" the man muttered.

"You better be wrong, because if any of your family bothers me again" Beca said in a threatening way, pulling a pocketknife out of her pocket and moving incredibly fast, putting the blade almost pressing his neck, and locking her eyes with his. The other girls made some surprised noised and Beca felt a hand on her shoulder, but ignored it "I will find him. And I will kill him. Go." The man looked angrily at her, but stepped back, and left. Beca breathed heavily still holding the pocketknife in the air.

"Beca…" Chloe whispered, taking the pocketknife from her hand and shoving it into Beca's pocket. She pulled Beca's hand down, as Beca was with lost eyes, breathing heavily and seemed out of there. Chloe put her hands on Beca's cheeks and then Beca's eyes moved to stare at Chloe's, intently "It's okay. Breathe."

Beca nodded, trying to keep her breath steady, and trying to relax a bit.

"He should be in prison. Not free. Not making people believe he did nothing wrong" Beca said, referring to Justin Kattleborn.

"We know" Emily said "But he'll end up there somehow. Right now, we'll just take care of you."

"It's going to be alright Beca" Ashley assured "Let's just go inside."

After that, days went by surprisingly fast. They went back to classes, all of them, and one day after lunch, Chloe suggested Beca to go to the stream again, and they sat on the same bridge they sat the first time, with their legs hanging down, just contemplating their surroundings in silence. Nothing eventful had happened in the past days, all had been quite normal, and Beca felt more like herself in a good sense. After a while in silence, Chloe sighed and looked at Beca briefly from the corner of her eye, and then turned a bit to the side to face her. Beca smiled and turned her face to the side to look at her.

"What? It's everything alright?" Beca asked.

"Everything is fine, but I need to talk with you. Is nothing bad" she added, seeing Beca's scared expression for a second.

"Okay, tell me" Beca replied turning her body mirroring Chloe to face her.

"You remember when I told you I fancied a girl?" Chloe asked, and Beca nodded. Chloe looked nervous, fidgeting with her nails and looking around a lot "Well, I've been thinking a lot, and I've realized I don't fancy her, I love her. Like, I love everything she does, everything she is, her manias, how she looks always even in the morning, I just think she is really sexy, and beautiful, and one hell of a woman, and if you saw how she does everything so meticulously and caringly, and how intelligent and funny she is, and I just love all of her, even the things that make her weird, mostly the things that make her weird, different…" Beca smiled.

"That looks passionate."

"It does, isn't it? I'm crazy about her" Chloe smiled "But I doubt she feels the same. And even if she did, I don't know if we could work together, because she's not just any person, and we're very different, but we also understand each other better than most of the people you know?"

"You complement each other."

"Yeah, I think so. I don't know what I should do."

"Well, then I think you should just tell her, Chloe. She may not feel the same, but life is nothing without taking risks, and best things require taking risks. If she doesn't feel the same, you know and you move on, but if you never know, then, you will always be wondering what could've have happened" Beca reasoned. Chloe nodded and smiled a bit, locking her eyes with Beca's.

"I should tell her" Chloe nodded for herself, and looked at Beca in the eye "You think she'll forgive me if I kissed her and she didn't feel the same?"

"It's kind of abrupt, but I doubt anybody could get mad at you for that, and you probably kiss awesomely, so she should feel flattered, not get mad. I wouldn't."

Then, before Beca had time to react, Chloe had put her right hand behind the lower part of her ear, her thumb stroking her chin lovingly, and her lips pressing against Beca's tenderly. It wasn't abrupt at all, surprising, yeah, but Beca found she wasn't uncomfortable, that if felt right. And even if she didn't know what that meant, or if she felt the same, she did what something inside told her it felt right, closed her eyes focusing on her lips, and kissed her back. She had never kissed anybody in her life, and she had only been kissed roughly, strongly and violently, not with such love and care. Her lips opened a bit, and kissed Chloe's back, and Chloe's lips moved tenderly, slowly, over hers, and Beca threw her arms over Chloe's shoulders, a hand on the back of her head grabbing her hair tenderly. After a long time of kissing, not snogging and pulling their tongues down to the other's throats, but just soft, tender, kissing, they pulled apart to breathe. Beca didn't feel bothered by that display of affection, but craved for more. She pressed her forehead against Chloe's and curved her eyes into a tiny smile as Chloe grinned, stroking Beca's lower lip with a thumb.

"I love you" Chloe whispered, and Beca nodded, looking more serious.

"I know" she replied "And I feel great things for you, Chloe, amazing, whole things. But I've never been in love, I lost my first kiss and my virginity to some rapist, and I've never been kissed, or made love, I never had sex after that either. I don't know if I'm in love with you, Chloe, and you deserve to be kissed by someone who just knows they are in love with you, like how you are with me."

"But I'm not expecting you to just love me right away, it's only that way in princesses' movies, don't you see it took me weeks to realize? I just… if I love you, and you at least fancy me, we could just try. Just give it a chance, a few dates maybe?" Chloe said almost begging, stroking Beca's cheek.

"How do I even know if I fancy you, or if I love you?" Beca asked. Chloe thought about it for a bit before she spoke.

"Love is… seeing someone and just having your day get better instantly, caring deeply about them to the levels of feeling happy when they are, laughing with their laughs, and feeling sad when they do, is wanting to help them, make them happy, be their everything when they have nothing, be their light in the darkness and the one that makes them not feel lonely, want to make them smile or laugh, want to fight all their wars with them, and be there in their moments of happiness, want them in your life as much as you want to be in theirs, feeling that they are absolutely perfect just the way they are, and then there's nothing better of oneself but them." Chloe explained, looking at Beca in the eyes "You don't care about their flaws because they are part of who they are, and it's part of what makes them perfect, you don't care if they just woke up, you still think they look nice, you just care deeply about someone, and crave for their love and affection, or sometimes if you aren't too affective, you can just crave for their thoughts, their voice, the things that makes them who they are. And fancying someone… I'd say is the same in a much more superficial level, but it still includes deep levels of interest and affection for someone."

"That's how you feel about me? All of that?" Beca raised her eyebrows.

"Yes" Chloe nodded. Beca smiled a bit.

"Nobody ever felt like that about me. You really think I'm perfect?" Beca whispered innocently.

"Absolutely" Chloe stated "You are the most amazing human being I know, Beca."

"Don't you care that I've lived what I've lived, gotten traumatized like I've gotten, or that I have Aspergers Syndrome?" Beca asked.

"Of course I care" Chloe replied "I care for you. I'm horrified that you had or have any of it, but that doesn't make me want to stop loving you, that doesn't make you any less perfect to my eyes. Your life is part of who you are, and I love everything you are."

They fell into a comfortable silence, their foreheads pressed against each other, Beca's arms around Chloe's neck, and Chloe's hand below Beca's chin, making circles with her thumb on her cheek. Then, Beca spoke.

"I don't want to hurt you" it sounded almost childish, like a person who has never learned medicine and has to relocate another person's dislocated shoulder because there's nobody else to do it.

"You won't. You could never hurt me."

"But what if I do?"

"I'll be twenty two in March, how many times do you think I've been hurt in my life Beca?" Chloe curved her lips into a tiny smile "If you hurt me, I'll know you didn't meant to, and I'll pull myself together because I will remember a beautiful, young woman, who has pulled through much worse things."

"Right" Beca nodded and curved her lips a bit forming a tiny smile "So would you like to go on a second date with me?" Chloe giggled.

"Sure, but when did the first one happened that I missed it?" Chloe asked grinning.

"Well, you kissed me, and I'm about to kiss you, so I think it should count as the first one."

"You're about to kiss me?" Chloe whispered, feeling Beca's breath just a few inches away from her lips.

"You have any idea where you just got yourself into, Beale" Beca grinned, and then kissed her full on the lips.

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 **Two questions: Did you like it? And what would you think if I go forward with the giant plot twist I've written? It'll be a surprise!**

 **Now, answers to reviews! Guest, thank you! VanesaR thank you and now you know! Mia Colucci, thanks a lot, the plot twist I've written more forward in the story has a lot of angst so I think you'll like it. Thanks Guest, sorry I didn't made a Thanksgiving present but today you have both stories updated. Thanks a lot again Jake, I thought about you all Thanksgiving, I'm sorry it sucked a bit for you, but now you have a couple calm weeks until new festivities arrive. Have a good day you all!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hiii! Thanks for the response, Jake your uncle is a jerk and I send you all my love!, Mia, thank you!, Chloe Beale, thank you ginger! And everybody else, thank you! The response is sooo good I wanna cry hahahah. This chapter is pretty sweet.**

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Chapter 10:

The following weeks were the longest period of whole happiness Beca remembered ever having in all the days of her life. Dating Chloe was, in one side, simply awesome, and in the other, it pushed her to study her notes more, to learn more, try harder to be a better… what, girlfriend? She didn't know what they were yet, but she liked it, and even if sometimes she got really worried when she had a lot of symptoms from Aspergers that Chloe would get upset because of her, but then, Chloe always reminded her she was a comprehensive person and that she loved her, and she didn't have to apologize for having a Syndrome that was part of who she was, and reminded her that it was okay if she felt less affective, or more like being alone, or whatever she felt. They also had their relationship in secret, until they knew better how serious they were, and Beca enjoyed everything about it. Sometimes, Chloe sneaked to her bedroom in the middle of the night, and if Beca was awake, and she usually was, they laid in her bed for a while just talking about anything, thoughts, life, the day, random stuff, animals, or anything really, and Beca loved it, she didn't even care if Chloe ended up falling asleep beside her, because Beca was always the first one to wake up in the morning and she just had to wake Chloe up when she did so she went to her bed, and if anybody asked, they just said Chloe couldn't sleep and, knowing Beca fell asleep late, just went to find some company, and nobody suspected a thing, because Beca was Beca, and Chloe had only had boyfriends in her life.

One of those nights, in February, Chloe had a big exam the following morning and was too nervous to go back to sleep, so she ended up in Beca's bed, and Beca asked her a thousand questions about the exam, until they decided Chloe had pretty high chances to have a really, really good mark. And then, they dropped that subject so Chloe's brain could relax and have a break, and went for random topics. They were facing the ceiling, under Beca's duvet on her bed, and although she had only slept with Jesse, and only a few times when they were kids or she was craving for affection because of sadness or hormones, so it was a nice change, and Beca found she liked it a lot.

"Okay, so where are the stars' hearts?" Chloe was asking, as they looked to the ski through the roof's window that was right over Beca's head of the bed.

"They don't have hearts" Beca replied with a tiny smile looking at the ginger laying at her left. Beca had her head over her arm and her other hand was entangled with Chloe's right hand, over Chloe's thigh.

"But Beca, they are born, and they die, therefore, they are alive, so they should have hearts" Chloe argued and Beca giggled.

"What about plants, Chloe?" that seemed to ring a bell on Chloe's head, and they laughed.

"I'm so dumb, you're right. But here's the thing; Animals have blood running through their veins, plants have stuff running through their branches and roots, and stars?"

"Maybe they aren't alive."

"They have to, they are born and they die."

"Then, maybe they don't need veins or anything like it. Like mother Earth, maybe they just need something warm inside of them burning up and keeping them alive." Beca reasoned.

"Maybe" Chloe nodded, more satisfied "Do you think those stars are dead already?"

"Yeah, probably" Beca replied.

"They're beautiful."

"They are."

"It's almost like when people die here. They're gone forever, but they are still alive somehow through our memories and the things they taught us and left here" Chloe said. They were talking in whispers as to not wake anybody up downstairs.

"Yeah" Beca nodded "Have you ever lost somebody? I mean, apart from a pet." Chloe nodded.

"I had a friend, when I was… maybe eight? It was a good friend from class, and she got cancer and died. My maternal grandparents died before I was born, and the paternal ones died between the end of Elementary and today. I had a pretty good relationship with them although it could've been stronger, but I'm the youngest of my cousins so I guess I didn't got much time for that" she explained "You?"

"I'm sorry" Beca kissed her shoulder and Chloe smiled a bit, nodding "I lost all of my grandparents before I was ten. The paternal ones were the eldest of them so I didn't got to be that close to them but we still had a good relationship, though that was the grandma who taught me the Bible. But my maternal grandparents were the best I had in my family, better than my parents I'd say, because my parents both worked a lot, so I was mostly left with them, and this grandma was the one that told me the eyes were the windows of the soul" she explained, and Chloe smiled sadly "They were the first ones to see there was something weird about me, and even though they never knew what it was, because they died before I knew, they just embraced it. They took me to their house from class until one of my parents could pick me up, and I had a room there with many books, that I learned to love, and toys, and my grandpa used to be a pilot, and had many little figures of planes and helicopters and she gave me all of them in heritage, I have them all, and I used to play with them a lot. My grandma was a teacher, and she had many books, and also gave me my first jewelry stuff, and read me to sleep whenever I had to stay with them for the night. She taught me philosophy and stuff… and my grandpa talked about planes, and stars, and clouds, and how the weather influences a good flight. They had to fix most of my school troubles, social or not, and sometimes they let Jesse come to their place to play with me. Now their house belongs to a family that had a kid a couple years ago, and most of their books and stuff are mine, and are in my bedroom in Atlanta, and some books or other things I brought them here with me. I only have a couple cousins more, that are like six or ten years older and we aren't very close and they weren't that close to my grandpas, so I got the most stuff."

"Is that helicopter from your grandpa?" Chloe asked pointing a tiny helicopter that was on a shelf at an arm's distance from their heads. Beca nodded, reached for it, and gave it to Chloe "It's quite pretty."

"Yeah" Beca smiled "I've got his pilot jacket and hat back at home. I, as my mom, have tons of pictures with those things on as a kid, only that I was weirder. But with my grandparents felt normal. It was quite shocking when I figured what I had, and maybe I told some mate from class, and they, knowing what I had, left, but my grandparents that never knew, always stood with me and loved me the same. Although I think they got disappointed with me when they got sick to death, because I didn't know what to do, or how to be there, and they probably left thinking after all it meant nothing to me."

"They knew Beca. Grandparents always know how much we love them and care for them, and how much we appreciate what they gave us, even if we never say, or disappoint them a bit at the end" Chloe said, stroking the back of her hand with a thumb.

"I hope so" Chloe supported her head on Beca's shoulder and yawned. Beca smiled a bit "Sleep Chloe, you have an important exam tomorrow and you need your rest. And tomorrow you can take that helicopter with you, I have a thousand more, and that one is for you."

"Really?" Chloe's eyes shined and she grinned "You don't care?"

"You give me your love, I give you one of the little things I value the most. It's okay, I want to" Beca smiled

"Okay" Chloe smiled and got a bit more comfortable "Did you set the alarm?"

"Five thirty, so you have time to take things slow and even take another look to your notes if you want." Beca replied.

"You're an angel, and that's exaggerating, I know you're human" Chloe giggled and Beca smiled.

"Sleep tight."

"You too Becs."

The following morning, Beca woke up at the same time Chloe did, even though she didn't have class until ten in the morning, and they went through the house in silence, trying not to wake anybody up. Beca made breakfast while making questions about the exam to test Chloe, who replied while walking around the kitchen.

"Okay, I'm ready" Chloe said finally standing in front of the door with her bag hanging from a shoulder. Beca stood in front of her grinning in her pajamas.

"You know it, Chloe, you barely failed a couple between last night and now" Beca reassured her "Just stay calm, breathe deeply, and don't get nervous, remember your brain is still healing" Chloe nodded "When in doubt, leave the question for the end, and if it's the last one, try to relax thinking about something else and it will come to your mind. You've been studying for weeks, you have this."

"Okay" Chloe breathed deeply and nodded "Good luck kiss?" Beca grinned tiptoeing to give her a good kiss on the lips, and Chloe smiled against it.

"Okay, go, don't miss the bus" Chloe was still too afraid to get into her car, so Beca was the one who used it instead "I'll see you after the exam."

"Right, bye" she waved, and left. Beca suddenly felt very lonely, so she shrugged and went back to her bed for a couple hours more.

When her first class of the morning ended, she went to find Chloe, running through the corridors and stairs to try and get to know how the three hours-long exam had gone before her next class started. The exam had just finished, so she ran to the classroom she knew Chloe was supposed to get out of, and then she spotted the back of the ginger walking forward in the corridor with her good arm intertwined with a friend's arm and dragging her feet along the corridor. The corridor was long and each was at one end of it, so Beca smiled and ran to her. And then she saw. Chloe's legs gave away and she fell on her knees, her friend grabbing her right in time to avoid her head crashing against the floor. Beca stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide, as she saw the friend lay Chloe on the floor and everyone around them stop to see what happened, and Beca ran faster.

"Chloe!" her bag fell to the floor and she fell on her knees beside Chloe. She was laying face up, pale, and unconscious "Chloe!"

"Who are you?" the friend asked.

"That doesn't matter. Was she feeling bad?" Beca asked worriedly.

"We just got out of a three hours exam, it was normal that she was exhausted and had a headache, but we were about to go to the gardens and chill out. Should I go find the dean or a teacher?"

"No. Do you know Aubrey Posen, fourth year of medicine?" the girl nodded "Run and find her, tell her Chloe passed out, and that Beca is with her, and to come running. We'll help her, but dragging more attention will only stress her brain more." The girl nodded and stood up, running across the corridor. She then looked to the people around them "Don't you have a class to go to?" she snapped, and they left. Then, she turned her attention to Chloe, who was still out, and took Chloe's bag putting it aside so Chloe would be comfortable, and made sure her bad arm was positioned properly, before she went to her own bag and took her bottle of water, getting a Kleenex wet and refreshing Chloe's face with it "Chloe, come on, time to wake up sweetie. Open your eyes, come on. Chloe, wake up, wake up…"

She counted the minutes with her watch while she took off her jacket and put it under Chloe's head, so her concussion wouldn't be on hard surface. A couple minutes after, she heard running, the corridor now empty, and when she looked up she saw Aubrey's panicked face. The blonde's feet slid over the ground and she knelt on Chloe's other side.

"How long?" Aubrey asked, slapping the ginger softly after putting a finger on her throat to check her pulse.

"Three minutes."

"Three?!" Aubrey went pale "We have to take her to the hospital. Have you called any teacher?"

"No, I thought if more people came, and even more a teacher asking tons of questions, it would be worse of her brain and mine" Beca replied.

"Good call. Let's go, I'll talk with our teachers later."

"How are we going to move her three floors down and then to your car, all without hurting her and her injured arm?" Beca asked "Maybe I could call Jesse, he could take her bride style…"

"There's no time Beca. I'll put my arm around her waist and her good arm over my shoulders, and take her up. You try take her legs, okay?" Aubrey said "Damn, I knew this exam was a bad idea for her…" she moved to do as she said when Beca nodded, and Beca took her bag and Chloe's, and then took her legs. Her limp body weighted quite a few pounds, but both girls were too determined to fail.

Carefully and as quickly as they could, they dragged Chloe and when they were closing the garden, Beca stopped Aubrey.

"Her eyes are moving!" she yelled, and both girls stopped, helping Chloe sit on the grass, with her back supported in Aubrey's back as the blonde palmed her cheeks a bit.

"Wake up honey, wake up" she was saying. Chloe's eyelids moved a bit, and then opened for a second, shut off for the light, and slowly opened again, blinking. A second later, they were helping her throw up aside without getting all dirty "It's okay, we're gonna take you to the hospital, it's going to be alright."

"It's been twelve minutes Aubrey" Beca said checking her watch "Chloe, you passed out after the exam, and you've been gone for too long, so we are going to get you help, okay? How do you feel?" Chloe frowned moving a hand to pinch the upper part of her nose.

"My head…" she whispered with a raspy voice "I'm so tired."

"Okay, help us get you in the car honey, and do not fall asleep" Aubrey instructed, getting her up again, but this time Chloe walked –or rather, dragged her feet over the grass- a bit, and Beca was soon opening the back door of the car and helping Chloe sit and putting her seatbelt while Aubrey ran to the driver's seat.

"No, no, cars no" Chloe argued stressed but also a bit out of it as Beca sat beside her and closed the doors.

"I'm sorry Chloe, but is the faster way to get you help, okay? Try not to think about it, but keep your eyes open" Aubrey started driving "I wouldn't do this to you if it wasn't an emergency, just try to breathe deeply and we'll be there soon. Beca, can you call Atlanta's General Hospital and tell them we have a young adult that spent twelve minutes unconscious and had a brain concussion two months and a half ago, and that we are on our way there? So they get ready and be waiting for us instead of otherwise." Beca nodding taking her phone, Aubrey told her the number, and she called and did as Aubrey said.

"They'll be waiting for us in the Emergency's car entrance" Beca informed.

"Right" Aubrey nodded driving as fast as skilled as she could "Chloe honey, how are you feeling?"

"Sleepy. Dizzy" Chloe murmured supporting her head on Beca's shoulder "What happened?"

"You passed out after your exam" Beca informed her again "You fainted for twelve minutes, and now, Aubrey and I are driving you to the hospital."

"Driving no, dangerous" Chloe whispered.

"I know, but it's our best choice right now" Beca replied and kissed Chloe's forehead "We've got you."

In the hospital, Chloe was taken for a few tests, and Beca and Aubrey devoted themselves to calling the Bellas and letting them know about what happened and that they would probably spend there the rest of the day, but that they would call later to tell them whatever happened to Chloe. After a long two hours waiting and drinking generous amounts of coffee, they were called by the doctor that took care of Chloe the last time, who told them she had just overworked her brain, and her slightly swollen brain had swollen too much, ached, and made Chloe pass out until it was less swollen, but that, given the fact that she lived with so many people to look after her, they could let her go home as long as the girls promised to do the waking up every three hours and asking stuff routine. The doctor also took a look to Chloe's clavicle and told them it was healing really good.

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable in your bed?" Beca asked, putting a blanket over Chloe as the girl laid on the sofa after coming back home, while Aubrey emailed all of their teachers like if she was their mother.

"I'm too lonely and out of the social life there" Chloe argued, much more awake and feeling much better.

"That's what this is about Chloe, that you're far from noises, many lights, and comfortable giving your brain proper rest" Beca replied sitting on the verge of the sofa and putting a tress of hair away from Chloe's face "You scared the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry" Chloe smiled taking Beca's hand to her lips.

"How was that exam?" Beca asked "I hope it was worth this."

"It went awesomely" Chloe grinned "Really. It's worth this, I can't miss exams or I won't graduate."

"Okay. Sleep, alright? One of us will wake you up in exactly a hundred and eighty minutes and ask you the color of your panties" she joked, and Chloe laughed and closed her eyes with the shadow of her smile still on her face.

"Blue" the ginger murmured with a tiny smile, and Beca grinned.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: This chapter is between sweet and sad, cute and crazy… I don't know. I wouldn't say it can trigger anybody, but because we're all bechloe lovers, I would say get ready for trouble in paradise. Also, I love your reviews. Thank you.**

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Chapter 11:

Beca smiled softly, watching Chloe sleep peacefully one afternoon three days after her fainting. Chloe was facing the ceiling of her bedroom, sleeping on her bed, and Beca was sitting in the side of Aubrey's bed. She had gone to give Chloe her medication, for which Chloe barely woke up a little and then fell asleep right away, and Beca hadn't been able to go afterwards. She just loved art, and Chloe was, in her opinion, pure art.

Aubrey's class was having a rough week, because their teachers had decided to do a simulation of the exams they would have to do in order to get into Med School, so they were going to do just the same, but with exams from another year, and then those would be corrected just the same than Med School's exams, so the students could have an idea of whether they should study more about one things or others, and how were they doing. So Aubrey spent every day stuck in library and Beca was left feeling the responsibility of looking after Chloe, who had just went to class that morning for the first time, for the two of them. Beca even gave Aubrey the keys of her dorm, so many times Aubrey studied the whole day, and when the library closed, she took her book and just had to go a few floors upstairs to get a bed and some sleep, and was also very quickly back in the morning. Also, that way she didn't have to drive very tired and numb after a whole day of studying, in the middle of the night, which relaxed Chloe a lot.

"I'm home!" Beca heard Aubrey downstairs. It was Saturday and she was coming for dinner after a week of barely seeing the girls, or Chloe, who insisted that she would kill Aubrey if she spent more time with her than studying and ended up not having outstanding grades. Five minutes later Aubrey was, very carefully and silently, getting into the room, illuminated only by the sunlight that came through the window "Hey" Aubrey smiled spotting Beca, who smiled at her too.

"How's that going?" Beca asked, Aubrey sitting beside her. She observed the blonde, seeing deep bags under her eyes, and a general appearance of tiredness.

"Great, I think it should go fine. It will be over on Monday morning and then I'll come and sleep for ages" Aubrey replied "How are things here with everybody?"

"Pretty good, although Stacie had to go to the hospital yesterday thinking she was pregnant and scaring the crap out of us" Aubrey put a shocked expression "Don't worry, she's not, she's fine. She just ate something that her body rejected or something. And Chloe went to class this morning." They talked low as to not wake Chloe up.

"That's good to hear" Aubrey nodded "How did it go?"

"Great, she was just really tired after it, but she was okay, so after lunch she took a nap, I went to therapy, and I just came like less than an hour ago. I've been here ever since." Beca explained and Aubrey nodded "Do you wanna hit the bed?"

"No, I'm too awake" Aubrey smiled a bit "Maybe later though."

"Aubrey?" Chloe brushed her eyes with a hand and sat in the bed looking at them frowning "God, you two are such creeps. If you leave me five minutes alone I won't die or break, you know?" she added with a tiny smile.

"We are just resting our butts and we love my bed too much" Aubrey joked, and went to sit beside Chloe to give her a huge hug "I missed you."

"Me too" Chloe hugged her back tightly "Do you know everything for the exam?" Aubrey nodded "Very good. Come on, I'm hungry!"

After dinner, Beca was up in her bedroom making mixes with her laptop on her bed, when Chloe came up.

"What are you doing up here?" Beca asked with a tiny smile, removing her headphones as Chloe moved her chair to sit on her lap with her healthy arm around Beca's shoulders.

"Does it bother you much if I sit like this?" Chloe asked.

"No, not much. You haven't answered me" Beca said surrounding Chloe's hips with her arms.

"I missed you" Chloe said, looking at the laptop's screen "Were you mixing?"

"Yes" Beca replied "I'm trying something out of the ordinary, something more calm and relaxing."

"Will you let me hear when it's done?" Chloe asked.

"Yes" Beca smiled a bit "Come on, let's sit on the bed, this is a bit uncomfortable." Chloe nodded and stood up, and Beca joined her on the side of the bed "What's up?"

"Nothing, I just missed having you close" Chloe said "I love you."

"I know" Beca nodded.

"Are we girlfriends?"

"You can't ask me that Chloe. You know this is completely new for me."

"Let's be girlfriends. Let's make it official" Chloe suggested "Let's commit into a serious, stable relationship with the other." She grinned happily and excitedly at Beca.

Beca thought about it for a moment, looking at Chloe, and then, after some time in silence, Beca shook her head.

"No."

"What do you mean?" Chloe seemed disappointed and hurt.

"I mean no to being officially girlfriends committed into a serious, stable relationship" Beca stated, and looked at Chloe in the eyes "We can't be that. Not for now, at least."

"What? Why? We've had twelve dates, that's much more than usual" Chloe argued frowning and Beca sighed.

"Chloe, you knew where you were getting into with me, I told you! You tell me you love me all the time, and I know the way you love me, I know how much I mean to you, you told me it all, but I still, I'm not sure I feel the same way about you, and you deserve to be the girlfriend of someone who knows. You deserve to be kissed, loved, with the same love you feel for me, and with someone who has no doubt they feel just the same" Beca said "So until I can tell you I love you just the way you do and for sure, I can't be your official, serious girlfriend, because if I can't be the incredible person I believe you deserve, at least I need to love you just as much, and if I have even the slightest doubt of doing so, I can't be that. It's not fair for you."

"I'll decide what it's fair or good enough for me" Chloe said hurt.

"I'm still not doing it until I know for sure and without the slightest of doubts, I'm not asking for your approval, is my decision Chloe" Beca said kindly but firmly "I care too much about you to do otherwise" she added, her hand going to grab Chloe's hand, and being rejected by it.

"Apparently not enough" Chloe muttered "Maybe I was too optimistic and hopeful. Maybe we shouldn't be doing this friends with benefits thing or whatever this is we are doing."

"What do you mean?" Beca asked worried.

"That maybe _we_ is not mean to happen, Beca, that maybe you will never feel the same and I'm just trying to force something that won't happen" Chloe said, her face indecipherable for Beca "That if you still don't know if you love me the same, you probably don't, and therefore, keep dating is ridiculous. You aren't in love with me, you just fancy me, and for you, it's not enough to be my girlfriend, but it also doesn't seem like it will ever be anything else, and I don't want to fool around anymore Beca, I have an age, I don't do the innumerable dating without being anything serious thing anymore."

Beca looked at her intently.

"Are you fucking serious Chloe?" Beca stood up angrily "I told you, from the very beginning, and now you don't even want to give me time, to try anymore! You don't have forty years old, you know?!"

"Why do you even pretend to care so much Beca, I'm the one in love!" Chloe said standing up too.

"You think I can pretend this Chloe? I do care! I do! And whatever I feel for you is deep and is strong, and you can't even give me time to figure it out…"

"It's called having a toner for someone, Beca!"

"You think all I want is to get laid? I was raped!" they stood yelling at each other.

"No, what I do think is that all you feel is that I'm sexy and you want to kiss me, and have my deep affection and attention whenever you feel like it, but nothing else!"

Beca stood in front of her with her eyes open wide, and her mouth slightly open too, her arms falling limp, and slowly her face reflected more and more hurt, her eyes watering quickly.

"How can you think I could only want you to use you, for your body and for your attention, that I'd be so superficial?" she whispered "You above everyone else…"´

"Then prove it Beca. Prove me wrong." Chloe whispered staring at her. Beca let go what was between a laugh and a sob, rolling her eyes. She approached Chloe, injecting her eyes on hers, their noses almost touching.

"How could you even think of me as such of an emotionless person, you, you who know me so much" Beca said firmly, her voice broken but firm "And now you go with demands? No. You lost that privilege five seconds ago. I could've proven more love than anyone in the history of literature, but no, you had to act stupid, with the maturity of a six year old… then go. You know better than to come up here and put this crap on me. Get the hell out of my bedroom, you're no longer welcomed here."

Chloe nodded slowly, a silent, single tear, sliding down her cheek, and then silently walked beside Beca, and left without another word.

Beca spent her whole Sunday out as much as possible. She went with Jesse, but told him nothing, only wanted to be entertained, and because Beca was usually like that –quiet, a bit robot like, almost rude- he never thought there was anything up. She went to the radio station, she studied, anything as long as she wasn't near Chloe. But Monday came, and with that, Aubrey finalized her exam and invited Jesse for lunch, making a huge celebratory lunch out of happiness. The two of them, and all the Bellas, including Beca and Chloe, at the house, and better come or confront Aubrey's rage. She was so cheery, Beca could tell Jesse was definitely getting laid that day.

"So… Chloe honey, is your head bothering you or something?" Aubrey asked after ten minutes into the lunch. She had been out of the house all Sunday, so, as opposed to the other Bellas, hadn't been able to see the tension that was touchable between Chloe and Beca. The brunette wasn't being too strange for the girls because what had been strange had been her unusual almost cheeriness, incredibly empathic, and affective self the past few weeks when she was dating Chloe in secret, but Chloe, although she did her best to keep a good façade, was clearly more quiet, serious, and seemed in the verge of tears every time Beca and her were in the same room.

Chloe smiled at Aubrey and shook her head.

"Not at all, I feel pretty good sweetie, thanks for asking though" Chloe replied.

"Chloe, I know you all too well" Aubrey replied with a warning tone, and looked at Beca "And you Beca?"

"Me what" Beca replied, not even using an asking tone, and not bothering to look at her, in case she wasn't the only one capable to see the soul in the eyes, because she was certain hers was shattered.

"Saturday you went to bed smiley and super empathic, today you haven't said a word unless for being asked something and your face couldn't be more tensed if it tried" she looked around the table, and Jesse did too, curiously. The other girls tried to avoid looking at Aubrey "Girls, my eye is being trained to see the unseen, so please, can somebody tell me what the hell happened? Who died?"

"Nobody died Aubrey, that we know of at least" Stacie said, gazing Chloe and Beca cautiously. Aubrey was sitting between Jesse and Chloe, and Beca was sitting in front of Jesse "We don't really know anything. They refuse to talk."

"They who?" Aubrey asked.

"Beca and Chloe" Flo replied "Nobody saw Beca at all yesterday, and this morning at breakfast you could sense the tension between them. They aren't speaking to each other. Beca isn't speaking at all actually."

"What? I was with Beca yesterday" Jesse intervened and looked at Beca "this is why you were so quiet? Bec, you can talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about" Beca said firmly and looked at the others "I meant it. If Chloe and I have anything going on, it's between the two of us and no one else, is personal."

They fell into a little uncomfortable silence.

"Come on girls" Fat Amy said, finally "Just tell them, alright?"

"What are you talking about?" Chloe asked kindly. Fat Amy seemed to be having some mental argument.

"I heard you two yelling at each other Saturday night. Saying stuff like… Chloe was saying something about Beca not caring about something, and Beca was saying something about Chloe not giving her enough time… I didn't understand much, it was heavy yelling and I didn't want to be nosy."

Chloe bit her lip and Beca huffed centering on her food. The others looked perplexed between the two of them.

"Chloe" Aubrey spoke "Would you like to talk with me in private?"

"You heard Beca, there's nothing to talk about." Chloe replied.

"That's ridiculous" Aubrey said.

"Maybe we should let them figure things out on their own" Jesse commented.

"Yeah, like they aren't damn good at avoiding stuff" Cynthia said sarcastically. Beca didn't understand it, but she didn't care "Come on, you've had an entire Sunday to fix it, now this is an intervention."

"You have no right…" Beca started.

"They are our friends, they care about us and they get worried" Chloe interrupted her glancing at her.

"Fine! Then why don't you tell them Chloe? Go on and tell them how you fucked everything up." Beca snapped. Everyone stared at Chloe, who if looks killed, would've killed Beca.

"Alright" Chloe said calmly "I told Beca that something we were doing was stupid, because for it to go on fine, Beca needed to do something, and for me it was pretty clear she wasn't going to do it, because she had weeks to do it and she didn't. So she asked me more time, I asked her why she cared so much if she had so much time and didn't it, and that's what Amy heard. That's all."

"Sorry?" Jesse smiled in confusion "That is damn cryptic."

"Yeah" the other Bellas said all at once.

"If you're gonna tell, you could say things properly" Beca murmured.

"Why don't you tell them then?" Chloe snapped.

Beca nodded and cleaned her face with a napkin.

"Chloe kissed me. In the mouth" she stated, and everyone looked stunned, their mouths opening a bit "And then, she told me she was in love with me. And I told her I didn't know if I was because of obvious reasons like having never been in love, or kissed with love, or been in a relationship, or having Aspergers and having kind of a trouble with having to know what my feelings are. But we started dating anyway, and we've been for weeks, because she was optimistic that one day I would just tell her I'm in love with her and she could consider us a happy, stable, serious relationship" all the eyes in the table, including Chloe's, were fixed on her "Then on Saturday she realized that was taking too long to happen, and insinuated that maybe we should stop with whatever more than just friends stuff we were having, because it's apparently clear for her that the only reason I ever dated her was because I love her kisses and her attention, which I do love and only from her, but contrary to what everybody in the whole world seem to have ever thought about me, I'm an actual human with actual emotions and feelings, even if I can't express them as everybody else, but that doesn't mean I don't have them, and I would never date someone without having deep feelings for them. But anyway" she shrugged, observing her water intently "So of course I told her she knew everything from the very beginning and now she just wasn't interested anymore and didn't want to give me more time to figure my things out. And I had said earlier that there was no way I was in anything serious with her until I had zero doubts that I loved her the same way she loved me, because she didn't deserve to have a girlfriend who couldn't even tell for sure she loved her just as much as she loves them, so we aren't on speaking terms anymore. Chloe doesn't date superficial, emotionless people, and I don't date jerks who think I'm emotionless and superficial."

Chloe was staring at her knees, leaning back on her chair, and her lip was trembling. The others looked at them in silence.

"Beca, I didn't mean…"

"No, Chloe, I'm not up for more crap from you, I've had enough. You'll be twenty two in a week, you go around saying how you want a mature a stable relationship because you have no age for childish stuff, and then, you come to me in the middle of the night saying you miss me, and then you put the biggest childish crap on me" Beca snapped not bothering to look at her.

"Would you hear me out?" Chloe said almost begging, her eyes wet.

"Don't ask me for chances to explain yourself Chloe, because I asked you for a chance to figure my feelings for you out, and you told me to fuck off!" Beca exploded standing up and looking at Chloe "You're old enough, right? Then you're fucking old enough to know what you say before or when you say it, and not say it! You've had" she looked at her watch between yelling "It's more than two in the afternoon, you've had until now to fucking think with that pretty little head of yours and apologize, with that awesome mature mind you presume of having, if a concussion let you told crap, then it would've let you take stuff back, and I came here at half past twelve Chloe, and you were here! But you didn't! so now, fuck off, because I'm sick of stupidity of those elders who believe to be better and wiser than me, first family, then lawyers and judges, and now you, and I'm sick of it!" she yelled.

"Beca!" Jesse called her attention, and she stood breathless looking at him. Chloe was avoiding gazes and the others were looking at her "She wants to apologize and you aren't letting her! Okay, you're right, but what are you gonna do uh? Stay mad at her forever, not letting her take things back ever? Maybe she thought about it on Saturday when she went to sleep, but it wasn't the time to apologize. Maybe she wanted to do it on Sunday, but you weren't here. Maybe she wanted to do it this morning, but you we all have classes to attend. Maybe she wanted to do it when you came back, but she didn't think you were in the mood. But she wants now, isn't that what matters?"

"Well, no" Beca replied and brushed her tears away "Months ago, I basically had to try to understand and apologize to all of you for being sick of disgusting stuff happening to me and responding the best way I knew. Then, when she felt horrible and we had to put up with her claptrap and garbage after her concussion, I spent night after night eating my brains out searching in the web and the library and memorizing every single notebook I've brought here trying to understand how your minds are supposed to work, to know how could I help, even if day after day I was offended and unappreciated by her, but I had to shut up because she was sick, she had a concussion!" she pointed at Chloe or herself when needed to, to reinforce her words as she yelled "And I know concussions are fucked up stuff, I know, I'm not an insensitive bitch, but I've got a syndrome, and she seems to forget time after time that what I have is for life, that I can't help it or fix it, or take some pills and feel better about it, well Chloe, why don't you hit the library or the Internet more often?! Because you clearly haven't made as many efforts to understand me and put yourself on my shoes as I've done with you! Everything, every fucking thing you've ever gotten angry at me for Chloe, each one of them was Aspergers related, everything! But you still come and say you're in love with me? Of everything about me including Aspergers and traumas you also don't seem to understand at all?" she was pointing at Chloe and visibly upset, and let her arm fall flat shaking her head and trying to recover her breath, and then went on without yelling anymore, but talking frighteningly low "What do you want me to say Chloe, I think you treated me like an object. That you made in your head your own perfect idealized version of me and then, when the product disappointed you, you just throw it away and accused it for not being what you wanted. And I'm not an object, I'm a person, a good, very good person who has went through so incredibly horrifying stuff in her life that not even Dickens could've written about. And I've got feelings, and emotions, and you depreciated them as if they were nothing to you, wiser and much complete and perfect human beings. In August, 9th, I will turn nineteen years standing stupidity, crap, punch after punch, insult after insult, and ignorance from the world, nineteen years Chloe, think of nineteen years with those headaches you have sometimes, and you may get the idea. But when you got into the hospital, we all investigated and forced ourselves to be indulgent and good with you, asking whatever sources we had, to know what exactly happened to you and how could we help, and after all this time I'm still waiting for somebody to try and actually understand me. But all of you just seem to learn that I'm this weird thing and instead of trying to adapt yourselves to me, and understand me, try to learn ways to make me learn about you, understand you, study you, and adapt myself to you, because you are the normal people. That's what you call understanding. And I'm sick of it." She gestured quotation marks in the air as she said _normal_. Then, she shut up, and stood there looking at her shoes and calming down her sobs.

"What can I do Beca? I don't know how to fix this" Chloe said finally, after a while with a broken voice. "I need you to let me apologize."

"What for Chloe" Beca whispered "You apologize know, I accept your apologizes, in three days we're back to the same thing. Or a week. And then again, and again, and again. That's how my life seems to work."

"Then what other choice we have Beca? we can't stay angry forever. You told us what bothers you, you told me what I did wrong, I can try and fix it, I will get better and we won't have to fight anymore. I promise, it'll be better" Chloe said. Beca felt like all she felt like doing was going away as fast as possible to her place with the stream and the footbridge. Or have the Earth swallowing her. Instead, she went to the kitchen sink next to her, cleaned and dried her eyes, and sat back on the table, breathed deeply.

" _Within you lies your strength._ _Hold on to hope and positive thoughts; strength for thy soul_ _._ Lailah Gifty Akita." she murmured mostly for herself looking at her hands on the table, and then stared at Chloe. She knew what to do. Fight to stay alive, go on another day "Go on. Do whatever you think you have to do."

Chloe nodded and went to kneel on the ground beside her. Beca moved to face her, inexpressive.

"I'm in love with you. I still am, I hope I will always be. It may not seem like it sometimes, but that doesn't make it any less real, just as you may seem like something sometimes, but that doesn't make it any more real. I'm in love with you and I want us to be okay. Friends, friends with benefits or whatever, I don't care as long as we're okay. You're completely right, things are very messed up, I'm much more stupid and immature than how I like to think you are, and I've made huge mistakes with you, and I'm so, so, very sorry, Beca. I don't want you to change, I don't want you to try and be less Aspergers when it's just not who you are, I want you to be you, and if that drives me crazy, then it's alright, I will still love you. I know you don't think anything will ever change and crap will always be the same, but allow me to disagree, and if you're right again, then I'll stand by you no matter what" she had her knees on the ground, the hand that she could move –her other arm was immobilized to let her clavicle heal- on the chair beside Beca's thigh to support herself, and she was looking up to Beca with freaking injured puppy's eyes.

"Okay" Beca whispered and shrugged, not knowing what else she could do "We go back to the same, I don't think I'm in love with you. And all you want is me to be in love with you and be your girlfriend."

"No" Chloe smiled shaking her head "All I want is you to forgive me. All I want is you to keep being my friend, only my friend, so I can still have you in my life. All I want is my arm to be free already so I can give you a damn decent hug. That's all I want."

"Of course I forgive you. You're my best girl friend" Beca muttered, and Chloe grinned "Your arm though, I can't fix it." Chloe giggled.

"That's okay" she pulled Beca down and hugged her, and Beca hugged her back "It's okay."

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 **A/N: So what do you think? Leave me a review, critic me, love me, hate me, like me, and talk to me! thank you so much. Now, I will be so sweet to answer your reviews. Hahahah kidding.**

 **Mia! Thank you so much girl! No, if I killed Chloe I wouldn't know how to keep going. Also, I might die. No, the plot twist is Beca centered, and I think, if I remember correctly, there are still a few chaps left before the plot twist starts going on. Or maybe not, my memory is the crappiest. Much love!**

 **Jake, I love you're loving it! Oh, it's so great to hear I'm being accurate enough, I hope you keep liking the chapters that follow, and the plot twist I'm so scared about hahaha. God, I'm glad your family at home is so supportive, you shouldn't be alone with any of that. If you ever decide to join FF net, feel free to be my PM buddy, and we'll be in touch! Or via tumblr, however you prefer. I just don't want to lose contact with you! Much love!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: This chapter is for all eyes to read without a problem, unless you're against love, in which case… what are you doing here, dude? The end of this chapters opens the start of the plot twist, that will be happening for several chapters. Chloe's injuries won't be the main focus of that, as you will see as you read this chapter. I'm rather very busy from now until the end of my finals in January, long story short, school years in college here are divided in two four-months period at the end of which you have finals already, because the next four months have completely different subjects except from maybe one or two that are still the same, so I have my first round of finals of college soon and I'm quite stressed and lazy, which isn't a good combination. Therefore, I will post whenever I have time, and it shouldn't be too hard to update since I've got a great bunch of chapters already ready to go, but if I get to the point when I have updated everything and I need to write new stuff, you'll have to wait more.**

 **Love you!**

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Chapter 12:

March, 9th, brought Chloe's birthday. Ever since the day when they fought at lunch and fixed their friendship, anything had really been the same, not for bad or for good, just different and strange. It was like they were so used to being friends with benefits it felt weird to keep going to the other's bed, to be as close because they just didn't know how close they were supposed to be, so they just were the best they could with each other without feeling uncomfortable. Still, Beca remembered those twelve dates, and those two weeks, all of them too pretty, too amazing, too memorable to be forgotten, and in her mind, she just missed it so much. She missed everything about it, and she missed that Chloe. Best friend Chloe was awesome, but when you've had that other Chloe, it's just another whole different story.

As if it was some birthday gift, Chloe's doctor asked her to go to the hospital to remove her cast and bandages, after having received some X-Scans Chloe took a few days ago and seeing her scalp was cured, although she'd know have to go through some months of physiotherapy and massages to relax the muscles of her back and deltoid, that after removing the bandages would probably hurt quite a lot. So Aubrey took Chloe to the hospital right after lunch, in order to be there for the night, because they were going to celebrate with a karaoke night with some other friends plus the Bellas and Jesse, who had become really close with Chloe between being Aubrey's boyfriend and Beca's brother.

"Look who's free!" Chloe yelled in a singing voice going up to Beca's room, to find the brunette, who has working on something with her keyboard, after having come home from the hospital. The ginger grinned and carefully stretched her left arm towards Beca, who raised her eyebrows in surprise and stood up, coming closer to her.

"Wow, that's great Chloe" Beca smiled happy for her "does it hurt?"

"Just a bit in my hand and wrist, elbow, and of course the shoulders and back, but it's more like the kind of numb pain you feel when you've been sitting with your legs crossed for a long time and then you stand up. The bone is completely healed and where it's supposed to be" she explained proudly, despite wincing a bit when she exercised a bit her shoulder to warm the muscles up.

"Excellent then" Beca nodded with a little smile plastered on her face.

"Yeah!" Chloe was excited "The physiotherapist should help a lot right? I want to have it back next holidays when I come back home and hug my brother with these big arms of mine."

"Yes, I'm sure you'll get to hug him big. So the doctor said you could take a flight for Spring Break?" They were all flying home in a couple days.

"Well when I went for the X-Ray I also took a CAT scan, and it seems my brain should be fine for me to go. It's almost not swollen at all, and if I keep taking my meds, and don't stress too much, it should be fine." Chloe explained.

"Good thing flying across states isn't stressful at all" Beca joked and Chloe smiled.

"For a person who doesn't understand sarcasm, you use it quite greatly" Chloe commented "Don't you want me to go?"

"I will be lonely here" Beca shrugged "but yeah, of course I want you to go and see your family, and hug them with your two arms. I just don't want you to be hurting and alone in an airport or a plane."

"I'll be okay" Chloe assured "I'll sleep the whole flight. But before I hug my family, I was thinking of practicing, you know, I'm worried I lost my technique. Any volunteers?" Chloe winked.

"Alright, come here. But only because this was all you wanted days ago and I owe it to you" Beca stood and let Chloe wrap excitedly her arms around you and hug her tight. And then grimaced with a little pained noise when she hug too tight and hurt herself "Chloe, what are you doing?"

"I hurt myself" Chloe pulled apart wincing exercising her arm to try it to go away.

"I see. Do you need my help?" Beca asked and Chloe nodded "Where does it hurt?"

"My shoulder" Chloe replied. Beca smiled and moved, massaging her shoulders, and raised her eyebrows when Chloe moaned "God Beca, right there."

"Okay, can you give me the underage version now?" Beca joked, and Chloe laughed.

"You have no remedy."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"That you're awesome and I love that you haven't changed one bit" Chloe whispered, and Beca smiled proudly massaging her shoulders and being especially careful with the left one, that was the one that got hurt in the crash. Chloe was wearing a t-shirt with a big neck, and Beca could touch and see the skin of her shoulders and the tiny line of the scar the clavicle had caused after coming out of her skin.

"Now that you mention changes" Beca commented "How does it feel to be twenty two?"

"I'm still as childish, cheery and dumb as always, which is good, and I hope I'm a bit more mature, but not too much. Also, neither my breasts or butt have grown one bit, which I still have to figure out if it's good or not" Chloe said in a relaxing voice and Beca giggled.

"I think you're pretty good like you are" Beca said "Maybe not perfect, but that's the perfect thing to be."

"Good" Chloe smiled "Are you going to let me listen to what you were playing?"

"No, is a present, so you'll have to wait until tonight."

"So you are coming to the party then?"

"Well you did invite me, what did you expect?"

"I don't know" Chloe shrugged and winced a bit.

"Don't hurt yourself more, okay? And now, you need to go or else, your present won't be as good. I need to rehearse" Beca said, patting Chloe's back.

"Okay, but don't you think I'll hear you downstairs?" Chloe asked with a smirk.

"Then close all the doors and stay at the living room, it's your own present, it's your responsibility to choose whether you spoil it or not" Chloe smiled and nodded, starting to walk downstairs.

"Alright. See you later Beca, we're going at eight, alright? We have to meet the rest of the clan in Atlanta later."

"Wait a second, Chloe, you didn't tell me you could stand cars again!" Beca remembered running to the start of the stairs.

"Right" Chloe turned around and nodded "Aubrey's been helping me with that, I still get a bit nervous, but I can stand it at least, it'll be half an hour anyway so…" she shrugged "see you!" and left.

Beca was going to sing a cover for a song made by Jason Walker. She was nervous about what she was planning on doing, but it was okay because she knew it was the right thing to do. She wanted to look irresistible, sexy, for a change that night, so she showered and then got dressed and put her makeup on, and went downstairs to meet with the other Bellas. Everyone looked great, and they complimented each other while they waited for the birthday girl and Aubrey to come downstairs, and when they did, although they both looked really good, Chloe was the one that left Beca speechless.

It was around eleven, and they had been partying with another five friends of Chloe from class, and although sometimes Beca felt quite uncomfortable, being surrounded by Jesse and the Bellas helped, and also as they were dancing and seeing some great DJs, Beca got kind of lost in it, and was doing good. Chloe's head wasn't bothering her much, but she still wanted to end the celebrations early, so after dinner and hitting a disco for a bit, they went to the karaoke bar, that was filled with people but it was quieter. Many a cappella singers from Barden went there a lot so they knew some people and they all sang great. All the Bellas went to the stage, some more, some less, and after a while, Beca decided it was her time.

"Chloe Beale, your birthday present is coming" she warned the girl, that winked at her putting a sheepish smile on, as she made her way to the stage. Although she was _socially impaired_ , it was surprising how _normal_ she got while singing or being a DJ, even in a stage, she just closed her eyes and made good performances. Some, quite amazing actually. Everybody at their group was silently and attentively watching her, curious about what _the quiet one_ could do.

"Hey" she said while taking the micro after giving the scores to the musician and positioning the keyboard tall enough for her to play it while standing and singing "Do you see that beautiful ginger over there?" she pointed Chloe, who blushed smiling, and everyone giggled yelling they saw "well, it's her birthday today, and she's kind of my best friend, so this is my present. I hope it is what you wanted Chlo." She added, and Chloe smiled nodding. Then she started playing, and then singing.

" _I've tried to write, the perfect song. But every time I do I feel like it just comes out wrong. I've tried to find, the perfect words. I'm still out here looking for the ones that you deserve. And I don't know, if I will ever find the perfect way to tell you why, when every time I try…_ " she was singing very sweetly, and feeling every word a lot " _I'm right back at the first date, and the first kiss, that couldn't wait, cause every moment meant so much I couldn't let it pass… I'm right back where I first stood, when I first knew, that I would always love you_ " she made sure to open the eyes that she had closed and fix them on Chloe's when she first told her she loved her so she knew she meant it " _and you know I've never looked back. And every time I try to tell you how I feel, I feel like that, I feel like that._ " She felt she couldn't mean more every word even if she had written them " _It's hard to get, an emotion down, when I am still falling but I haven't hit the ground. But I hope, you can understand all I'm trying to say in the best way that I can, and I don't think that I will ever find the perfect way to tell you why, when every time I try… I'm right back at the first date, and the first kiss, that couldn't wait, cause every moment meant so much I couldn't let it pass_." She sang with so much passion and strength and beautifully and people was dancing, and Chloe was staring intently at her, sitting on a sofa like she left her, between her friends, with a cup of juice abandoned in her hand while Jesse and Aubrey and others were dancing " _I'm right back where I first stood, when I first knew, that I would always love you. And you know I've never looked back and every time I try to tell you how I feel, I feel like that, I feel like that. And I don't know, if I will ever find the perfect way to tell you why, cause every time I try… I'm right back at the first date, the first kiss, that couldn't wait, cause every moment meant so much I couldn't let it pass… I'm right back where I first stood, when I first knew, that I would always love you and you know, I've never looked back. I'm right back at the first date, the first kiss, that couldn't wait cause every moment, meant so much I couldn't let it pass. And every time I try to tell you how I feel, I feel like that._ " She sang the last few lines so sweetly and soft, and everyone applauded, but her eyes were fixed on Chloe's.

Then, it was like magnets. She had no idea about anything that happened around her, and Chloe's blue orbs were everything she could see, and then, she was walking fast, almost running, towards her, and Chloe was doing the same exact thing with her, and they fused together in a desperate, tight hug, and right when they were about to have the most passionate, urgent kiss, Beca put a hand on Chloe's mouth. Everyone around them was staring at them with silly smiles, but Chloe was all there was in that room for Beca, and right then, she looked quite confused, and Beca grinned.

"I love you" she said "I'm completely in love with you Chloe" she stated, feeling so well for finally saying it out loud, and she felt Chloe's lips under her hand forming a huge smile, so she removed her hand, and fused into the kiss with her. They were kissing for a while, and Beca realized she had never satisfied thirstiness as perfectly as she was doing right now, and she couldn't stop kissing Chloe, it was like finding a big bottle of water after months in the dessert without drinking one bit, she didn't even know what was happening around them, but when they eventually separated breathless and needing some oxygen, Beca grabbed Chloe's hand and pulled her towards a terrace that the place had, looking for some calmness and quietness. But in the second they got outside, Chloe was pulling her into another urgent kiss, and Beca couldn't deny it, and this time when they separated, they stood entangled with each other in a hug, with their foreheads pressed together, recovering their breaths. It was their first kiss with tongue, and weirdly enough, Beca wasn't disgusted for it, and she realized, it had nothing to do with when her rapist stuck his tongue to her throat.

"I love you" Beca said again, feeling like she needed to say it more, like it wasn't enough, when she had never really been very vocal about feelings with anybody. Chloe smiled a bit "I love you."

"I love you too" Chloe whispered, and caressed her cheek before kissing her again, but this time, it was a slow, calm, deep kiss, just enjoying each other, getting to re know each other "Best birthday present ever. Well done Mitchell" she whispered against her lips between kisses, and Beca smiled proudly.

"Wait a second, wait" Beca remembered suddenly "There's a material present actually, but I'm… you know I have a hard time expressing out loud so I just wrote you a little something I want you to read before I give you the present." She explained guiding them to a bench and sitting while looking for something in her pocket, and pulling a piece of paper and giving it to Chloe "I wrote this some time ago, not thinking on ever giving it to you, not knowing if I loved you… it was more like putting my thoughts on paper to clear my mind."

Chloe formed a smile with her lips and unfolded the paper, starting to read out loud.

"Dear Chloe. I have never felt such a pressure to figure out the things that go inside my head, or better said, my heart, as I feel now, and not because you're doing anything, but because I alone really, really want to." She started, and looked at Beca over the paper with a tiny smile and such a… something, in her eyes "But the reality of the situation is that, without you, I feel lost. I feel like I've lost my way, like I don't know what to do, or forgot how to live. I've seen, there is any definition of love anyway, and the one the dictionary has doesn't tell me anything really, but I've also felt the emptiness of not having you, the lack of desire for smiling, and music doesn't make me feel whole anymore, nothing does. Seconds are endless, and nights, like this one, feel cold, empty, and lonely, and I cannot put my brain to sleep. Today, it rained, and you were in Barden almost all day, and I heard you come in after dinner just half an hour before it was time for me to go to sleep, and you didn't even come to see if I was asleep and wish me good sleep, like you've always done, but I guess now you believe it would be too weird, because that's something couples do I guess. But I wish you had come, and then, you would've seen I could've gotten into bed much earlier and I didn't hoping that maybe this time when you got home, you'd come here. This room misses you and I know because I feel it gets colder now, and my bed misses you because it's too big for me alone, and I miss you because I sobbed for twenty minutes when I heard you go to sleep and say good nights to Cynthia right in the start of my stairs, and with the silence that filled the house when your door closed, I realized you weren't coming" her eyes had watered a bit and she looked at Beca, who just smiled and shook her head "You're the reason I come home, Chloe Beale. I never called my dorm anything but my dorm, I never called this house anything but the Bella's house, but then, you took me here, and then it was home. I could be at work and when I thought of coming home, I thought of coming here. And the first day back at work since we started dating, I was there organizing vinyl discs and then I thought of how much did I want to come home, and what came into my mind was the last time you had laid on my bed without me, and how we had spent an hour talking about how one of your teachers looks a lot like some character from an alien movie. And that was home to me. I wish there was someone kind enough to come and tell me if that's true love, or just the love you feel for a good friend, like I feel for Jesse. I didn't even start thinking about my feelings for Jesse until somebody asked me, just a bit before he told me he loved me, and I took years to really know what I felt. You know you are the most beautiful human being in this house, you have to know, but I guarantee you don't know how amazing you are. How you enlighten people's lives, like the other day, I saw you around Barden from the window of my class, and you were eating a sandwich, barely starting it, and then you saw a homeless and gave it to him, even though I could perfectly hear you stomach half an hour later when we crossed paths around the corridors. You listen even when you need to talk, you help even when you're tired, you heal even when you're healing, and you do so many things that I've never seen anybody do, or care about things I've never seen somebody care about even though they should." Chloe nodded for herself with a tiny smile "I can see you really mean things for people, that people really get happier and better around you. I can feel a warm inside of me I've never felt before when you're around, and it's not arousal –although it could because you're damn sexy- but some friendly, comfortable warm, like a fireplace making warm places that were so cold it hurt. I love having you around. I can't tell you how important you are to me, but the truth is at the end of the day, and at its beginning, and in fact, anytime, you don't have any idea of how much my body is aching to be hugged, just by you. I've tried with other people, I've asked Jesse, and the other day I even asked Fat Amy, but nothing works. Nothing feels right, or comfortable, and it almost bothers me other people's hugs. But I guess I'll never have that back, right? I will have to get used to lonely, cold nights, and to empty insides, and to dry lips no matter how much saliva I get on them, because they just miss you. God, I miss you. I've got your friendship, and I still miss you so much, and I hate how uncomfortable everything has gotten between us, like we hug, sometimes, but it feels like hugging a mannequin, so polite it's almost disgusting, and I say almost because nothing could be disgusting come from you. I miss you. I ache for you. And any sweater is warm enough. If I had known the last time I kissed you was going to be the last time, I wouldn't have let you go, and I would've begged you to never leave me because without you, I have nothing else, I don't want anything else, without you, nothing makes sense anymore. I should've never let you go, because… because I am in love with you. Yes. I am so in love with you, I don't even know how I'm supposed to go on without you, I don't even know how people do, so please, don't make me do that. Don't let me let you go, because I'm dumb and stupid, and I don't know how this works, but you do, so you should just never let me make that mistake I've made. I'm so sorry Chloe. Because you deserve to be with someone who loves you like I do… and I don't think anybody can do it. But in my best dreams, I've got the chance to just ask… would you be my girlfriend?" That was it, it was the end of the letter, and Chloe stared at her lap, where she was holding the letter, cleaning her eyes with a hand.

"So?" Beca asked excitedly, and Chloe sniffled.

"It's beautiful Becs, I don't even know what to say" Chloe said hoarsely.

"Well, I did make you a question. Last line, I put the interrogation mark did I?" Beca said, suddenly confused. Chloe looked up at her, trying to see the joke in her eyes.

"That was for real?" Chloe asked, and Beca put a disconcerted face, like if she had just asked her if her biological parents were African.

"Sure" Beca replied, matter of factly "Don't you want to be my official girlfriend?"

"Of course I want. Yes, of course" Chloe grinned, and kissed her softly, and Beca grinned into the kiss.

"I have something else for you" Beca whispered with Chloe's cheeks against her palms, pulling apart a bit.

"More presents? You're going to melt me and it's not even summer" Beca put a scared expression and Chloe grinned "I was joking, dork." Beca smiled, and took a little envelope from her pocket. Chloe carefully opened it and from it she took a silver, chained, bracelet, very thin and in the middle of it, it was a little oval, silver plaque, that in very little, had engraved " _If you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love"_. Chloe grinned widely looking at Beca, and kissed her.

"Would you put it on my wrist?" Chloe asked, and Beca did so.

"It's silver, so it shouldn't get bad with time. And it's a quote from Mother Teresa, not mine." Beca informed while she put she bracelet around Chloe's wrist.

"Great, that way I never have to remove it" Chloe smiled "Thanks Beca, I love it" Beca kissed her.

"More than you love me?" Beca asked jokingly.

"That's impossible" Chloe felt like she couldn't stop smiling, even while kissing Beca.

"We should go back, it's your birthday and you're missing it, and Aubrey will kill me if you don't get to see your cake." Beca said stopping the kisses by putting her index finger on Chloe's lips, and the ginger just kissed it.

"Screw the cake, I'm enjoying my much better present" Chloe jokingly bit Beca's finger, and Beca smiled.

"I know Chlo, but for one night, you need to pretend that I'm not the best person ever" Beca joked and Chloe giggled.

"Alright" she accepted Beca's hand, and they left and went with the rest of the group.

"Finally" Aubrey smiled at them "I was about to take the cake out." She left to find the waitress that had it safely on their fridge, and Chloe and Beca sat on their sofa. All the lights went out, and then the only lights that could be seen were of a few lamps here and there, and of the candles of Chloe's cake, that Aubrey was bringing in. The whole place sang happy birthday, and then Chloe blew the candles, and they ate the _Happy 22 BDay, Chlo!_ cake.

The next day, Beca woke up with Chloe hugging her asleep as they were lying on Beca's bed. They hadn't had sex the night before, they had never done it so far actually, and they were in their pajamas, both lying on their side, and Beca was cuddled into Chloe's chest and the ginger was putting both her arms at good use hugging her tightly, even with a leg she was hugging Beca, as one of her legs was over Beca's waist. The brunette almost felt like laughing, trapped in the warm and comfort of a mess of arms and legs. They had gotten home around two in the morning and crashed into Beca's bed after changing clothes really quickly, and now Beca was afraid of making Chloe fell off the bed, so she kept hugging her back, enjoying the feeling of being cuddled there, until she started getting the need to free herself, getting nervous.

"Chlo" Beca said, kissing Chloe's shoulder "Babe, wake up, I'm getting a bit of anxiety from this position for this long." She moved a bit so she could see Chloe's face, and stroke her cheeks kissing her softly "Babe" she slapped her a bit softly, and Chloe frowned making a noise and opening her eyes a bit "Sorry. I'm having a bit of anxiety." Chloe nodded slowly and turned her face to kiss Beca's hand while she disentangled herself from her "Thank you. Stay here, I'll bring your breakfast." She moved out of the sheets, passed over Chloe, and then out of the bed, and before going downstairs, she put the sheets properly over her girlfriend and kissed her forehead.

"Look who's here" Stacie smirked watching Beca come almost running into the kitchen with a sweater that was Chloe's on, and make coffee. Beca couldn't keep a tiny smile from happening "So what are you two now? Friends with benefits?"

"Like the movie" Jessica added smiling while drinking her coffee.

"No. We are girlfriends" Beca replied preparing two coffees and warming some pancakes up.

"Officially?" Cynthia asked, and Beca nodded.

"Officially" Beca said "She loves me, I love her, that's all it matters."

"Oh, how come the latest one to get into the house gets the girl half Campus has been fighting for, for four years now?" Cynthia grinned and Beca shrugged and smiled ready for jokes.

"They call it the beginner's luck" Beca said "it could also have something to do with having a really high IQ or being socially impaired. Maybe Chloe likes that."

"Yes, so she can be the affective one" Fat Amy reasoned. Then Beca smelled Chloe's scent and a second later the ginger was hugging her sleepy from behind, her face buried on her neck while Beca cooked.

Beca smiled.

"What are you doing here? I told you I was taking breakfast upstairs."

"I know, but I was lonely and missed you" Chloe pouted against her neck.

"You know tomorrow you're going back to Florida, and I may decide to visit my mom in Maine, right? How are you going to survive if you can't stand five minutes without me not even in my own bed that smells like me?" Beca joked. Chloe shrugged with her eyes closed.

"I'll, and I'm exaggerating Beca, just die without you. I may hibernate until I get to come back" the ginger dramatized.

"Alright, I hope you've updated your last will and testament then" Beca joked, and Chloe jokingly slapped her back "Ouch, strong one here."

"Dork" Chloe smiled straightening up, and Beca just turned her face to kiss her. Chloe moved her hands from Beca's hips and went to sit with the other girls, yawning. Then, they heard the main door of the house open and someone tiptoeing slightly. "Aubrey?! Come do the walk of shame, don't hide!"

Ten seconds later, an embarrassed Aubrey appeared, her hair up in a really messy bum, and wearing the same clothes than the night before.

"Look who got lucky tonight!" Fat Amy joked and Aubrey bit her lip sitting with them.

"Coffee Aubrey?" Beca asked.

"Yeah, thanks."

"So" Chloe smiled sheepishly and elbowed her "you and Jesse had sex tonight?"

"Well, technically early in the morning" Aubrey said blushing.

"You did use a condom right?" Stacie asked "because it's never funny if not, let me tell you."

"Of course! Who do you think I am, new with sex? And this isn't even the first time with Jesse, believe me" Aubrey said blushing even more.

"Alright, stop it because it's my brother and I've seen him nude, and this makes me uncomfortable" Beca brought Chloe's and hers breakfasts and a coffee for Aubrey and sat "But I do want to know if you're going to Maine with him tomorrow."

"No, he says he is not going to go, he wants to stay and study a bit without distractions, he says that it's just a week and become just five days when you remove the time of going and coming, and he can wait for the summer" Aubrey replied.

"Oh, good to know." Beca nodded.

"Are you going?" Chloe asked.

"I have to call my mom but I don't think so, I've got lots to do here" Beca explained.

"But you'll be the only one here" Chloe replied.

"No, I'll be with Jesse" Beca argued "It'll be perfectly fine. You also forget my dad lives right in Atlanta, is there if I need anything."

The following day, Beca and Jesse said goodbye together to everyone.

"Promise you'll call me" Chloe said one last time, already sitting on the driver's seat of her cat, while Beca peeked into the open window.

"I don't understand why."

"Because it will make me really happy, you don't have to ask why, you just call because I'm asking you to" Chloe smiled.

"Alright, how often?"

"When you miss me, at least every couple days okay?"

"Okay. I will, I promise" Beca nodded and leaned to kiss her "Be careful driving, alright? Very careful."

"Yes" Chloe nodded "I'll be okay. You take care of yourself too uh?"

"Sure. See you next Saturday." Beca smiled and kissed her one last time before pulling away, waving to all the cars leaving.

"So, we are alone?" Jesse said after awhile.

"We are alone."

A couple days later, Jesse and Beca were at the Bellas' house garden running and playing basketball, a game Beca exceeded at.

"I'm winning Swanson, this is boring!" Beca joked laughing. Because they didn't have basketball baskets, they were throwing the ball on trash can baskets.

"This is all part of my game Mitchell, I'll be winning in ten!" Jesse laughed taking the ball and running trying to get it into Beca's basket.

"Don't you dare looser!" Beca teased protecting her basket. She put a feet between Jesse, who tripped, and fell, making her fall with him, and they laid on the floor laughing hysterically "You're a clumsy asshole!" she said between laughs.

"You threw me, you're a cheater!" Jesse argued joking.

"I was just stroking your feet gently" Beca said as they stood up again.

"Yeah sure" Jesse smiled "So, I should be the winner now."

"No way!"

"You cheated!"

"Rebeca Mitchell?" they both turned around and saw a man and a woman with black suits showing police badges.

"Yes" Beca said turning worried, eyeing Jesse, who also looked worried "How can I help you?"

"I'm detective Tucker and this one is detective Rolland, we're from Atlanta Police Department. Rebeca Mitchell, you're arrested for the murder of Justin Kattleborn."

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 **A/N: Plot twist! Hahaha. Mia, don't worry, you'll be crying soon ahahah. I've got a twitter account yes, but since I'm Spaniard, I barely tweet in any other language. Even though I'll admit sometimes I tweet in English or French, but it's rather rare. And I never talk about what I write, more about my acting stuff hahaha. I'm rather boring. Guest, thank you and I think you'll love the plot twist. It's actually, as you can probably imagine by now, about Beca and the world will have to tend to her soon, really. Jake, thank you so much. Well, it's true, but you can always have the tumblr account only to be in touch with Pitch Perfect stuff, talk to me or whatever. You can always find me any other ways.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Okay, talk about a chapter crazy hard to write! I hope you like it though. I've just finished writing the third part of my fanfic "You make me bulletproof" (the second is "Unstoppable" and the third hasn't been published yet). It was the last one and now I'm thinking of another longfic bechloe, I need ideas, so if you have any... to write at the same time I write this chapter!**

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Chapter 13:

"Beca, hi!" Chloe's cheery voice sounded in the other side of the Police Department's office.

"Baby, you said your dad was a lawyer, right?" Beca asked urgently.

"Sure, he's one of the bests, why?"

"Do you think he defends people accused of murdering someone?"

"I… yes, I think so. Beca, you're making me worry, what's going on?"

"Someone killed Justin Kattleborn, and they've arrested me for it, but I haven't even seen him in months, since Regionals. Chloe, they have me in Atlanta's Police Department, I refused to answer any questions without my lawyer but I don't have one and…"

"Oh my God Beca. Oh my God! What?! Are you fucking serious? How can they arrest you just like that?" Chloe was flipping "Yes, of course my dad will be your lawyer, he'll get you out of there in no time, I'm sure."

"Chloe, this is huge, alright? Apparently, someone stole my pocketknife and I hadn't realized but now that I think about it, I haven't seen it in awhile, and this somebody used it to brutally kill Kattleborn, they stabbed him a lot, and left him to bleed out in an alley in Atlanta. Police told me they have it and the only fingerprints it has, are mine" Beca quickly explained, knowing she didn't have much time "Somebody is working hard to get my ass in prison and I can't get out of here to fight it. Chloe, you need to help me."

"God Becs…" Beca could hear her voice break.

"No, don't you break down baby. Be strong. Go fast, find your dad, and come here, find me here. I wanted to cooperate and answer questions, though I'll go like that, and then they showed me my knife full of his blood and my fingerprints, before making any question I understood somebody was trying to hang this murder on me, and I'm innocent, so I thought I had to shut up."

"Good decision. Don't answer a thing baby, I'm going to leave you so I can take my dad there. Baby…"

"I know. I love you."

"I love you. Take care. Stay strong. We're gonna get you out of there." Chloe promised. Beca nodded, and hung up with a knot in her throat and a bad feeling in her stomach.

During the two hours and a half Beca had to wait in an interrogation room without a chance to go out or have her dad and Jesse in, Beca was walking around worried sick and after some time, fell asleep with her head on the table. Then, Chloe and Mr. Beale came in. William Beale was a tall, thin, ginger man, with stunning blue eyes just like his daughter, his hair dark ginger, now more white than ginger but still abundant, beard, and glasses. He had a briefcase, and he was wearing a suit, but despite his serious appearance, he smiled warmly when Chloe ran to hug Beca tightly, and then again, when Chloe made the presentations.

"How do you think you lost your pocketknife?" Mr. Beale asked.

"I don't know. I think it was on my pocket and fell one day and I didn't realize" Beca replied, sounding stupid even to herself. Mt. Beale raised his eyebrows and nodded with a thoughtful expression.

"What were you doing tonight when he was killed, do we have any witnesses?" Mr. Beale asked.

"I was sleeping at the Bellas' house. I was at the radio station working until eight, then Jesse came for his shift so I left, and then I walked straight home, had dinner on my own, went jogging for around forty five minutes or so, and then went back home and to sleep. And… yeah, nobody saw me I guess" Beca explained. Mr. Beale took a few notes.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Beca" Mr. Beale said, staring at her "this looks really bad to you. The weapon used is yours, it has your fingerprints, you were alone around the time of the crime so it'll be really hard if not impossible to find any witness to prove your alibi. Our biggest chance is in making you believable in front of the jury, and in the forensic results, that may point to another person as the killer. But even if another person was proven to be the killer, they could still consider you collaborated and put you in prison anyway. Also, there's the fact that here in Georgia, they can sentence you to the lethal injection, you wouldn't be the youngest." He informed.

Beca had already thought about all of it and just nodded with a sad and worried expression, and Chloe's eyes were popeyed.

"What?! But they can't kill her, she would never kill a fly!" Chloe exclaimed.

"Chloe, I have motives to give and take" Beca murmured "I have a reason, nobody saw me last night, it's my pocketknife, are my fingerprints… I could've done it very easily, so I'm practically in death row right now." Mr. Beale nodded. Chloe's inferior lip trembled and her eyes watered, staring at Beca, who was contemplating the thin red the handcuffs had left on her wrists.

"They won't be impartial, they'll take a side and it won't be yours, so you really need to make them believe you, because your word and the chance of forensic finding stuff that frees you or we finding one very, very good witness, are all we have. For them, you killed a eighteen year old, for them, he's an innocent, poor little boy, who fell in love with a girl who killed their unborn, tried to make him seem a horrible person for years, punched him when he was just attending a concert, and then stabbed him brutally in a alley and left them to bleed out. For them, you're a big, big monster." Mr. Beale.

"I know, I know, and on top of that I'm socially impaired, they will need five seconds of trial to fully believe I did something I didn't" Beca sighed "But you can save me, right?"

"I'll do my very best" he promised "Right now, we should let the cops come and ask the questions, and honey" he looked at his daughter "you need to go."

After being interrogated like if it was already decided she was a murderer, and having to spend the night in a cell, Chloe brought her clothes to go to the trial. Once they were there, Beca could feel the fear running through her veins, her heart pounding strongly. At least she had a lawyer in which she could fully trust, and he looked calm.

"Miss Mitchell" Mr. Beale was saying looking to the jury "Is just an eighteen year old like Mr. Kattleborn was. She doesn't have a problematic record, any of the teachers she ever had ever complained about her, not a single time, her marks are excellent, her parents talk wonders about her, her friends tell us she has been incredibly happy in the past few weeks, her best friend from forever even said he had never seen her as happy as college has made her, her therapist says she doesn't have the profile of a killer, and that she never showed signs of being able to kill that boy in all the times they've talked about him, and as far as we can tell, nothing fits with the idea of her killing anyone" he said "She is also a person with Aspergers Syndrome, and every psychologist in the world could explain to all of us how people with Aspergers rarely lie, they don't like lies, lies don't make sense for them, and still there's people in this room believing Miss Mitchell would lie so much, so strongly, to everyone she knows and loves her? I don't think so. I don't think a tiny eighteen year old that is happy as hell lately would dare to kill someone and then tell such big lies like she didn't do it, if she says it, it's because she didn't do it. And all there is to try and prove she did something that horrible is a pocketknife that it could have been easily stolen, and manipulated with gloves to avoid having the killers' fingerprints. Members of the jury, this entire accusation doesn't make sense, and we are here judging a good person instead of looking for the real killer that is still free out there…" he kept talking. He defended Beca. He did an amazing job during the whole trial, but then, accusations were made, and then Mr. Kattleborn told everybody how she "attacked" him, and Beca knew things were looking bad for her.

After three hours and a half, the judge made a rest so the jury could deliberate, and they went to take a coffee downstairs and try to renovate their strengths. Beca was sitting with her elbows on the table and her fingers massaging her temples. She had slept like crap, and now she was sitting with her lawyer, her girlfriend, Jesse, the Bellas, her parents, her therapist, and Sheila. Her mother had flown there that night. Also, Chloe's mom and brother were there.

"They are going to say I'm guilty, right?" Beca said breaking the silence and looking at Mr. Beale. Everyone seemed lost in their thoughts.

"There's a big chance" he nodded "but we still have a good chance. I've seen clients seem much more guilty and still not be considered guilty at the end. If they say you are, then we still can fight, present stuff, counterattack… even if you were in prison, we could still do a lot of stuff, and the investigation will take weeks or at least some days until we have everything we could use."

"What if they sentence me to death?" Beca asked.

"Then they'll send you to death row, and you'll be the first person to be there little time, most people spend years there, many even die there, so that still gives us time."

"Until we run out of cards" Beca sighed and Mr. Beale nodded "I can't go to prison Mr. Beale, they already treat me like a murderer, they'll send me to the worst prison they can think of, and I have Aspergers, the inmates will kill me in less than a week. Or I'll be in death row and go crazy before anybody has the chance to kill me."

"Please don't talk like that" Chloe whispered.

"Chloe" Beca sighed "I'm trying to make my brain accept that possibility, I'm sorry, alright? But look at my wrists, they aren't being gentle not even for five seconds, you know how this works, once they get something in their minds, they go with it no matter what, police isn't even looking for what can save me, but for what can say who killed Kattleborn, and in the moment I'm sentenced, they will stop looking. Somebody is trying to frame me and they will succeed soon."

"Can't we move this to Maine? They can't kill her there" Beca's mom said looking at Mr. Beale.

"No, he was killed here, she was arrested here."

"We could make up a great witness" Jesse suggested.

"I'm not gonna lie Jesse, and neither are you" Beca said "Lies can crumble down and then I'm more screwed if possible, so we need to be honest."

"But your honesty is going to get you killed!" he argued.

"You think I don't know?" Beca tried to keep herself in check because she felt like dying "I prefer dying with the truth than with lies, because lies won't save my ass Jesse. They already proved I was a horrible person years ago who made up rape, they will prove me a killer if it's what they want."

"Then we should be designing plans to escape prison, or sending you to Mexico until they prove you did nothing" Flo said.

"Yeah, that's a good idea" Stacie added.

"It's too late for that" Beca said "and there are cops looking at me from the door. Mr. Beale, if they say I'm guilty, how long will it take for them to send me to prison?"

"Well, not much. Probably today, maybe tomorrow, but then I'll have time to prepare more stuff in your defense, speak to the judge, and other stuff. There are appeals, and it can also happen than today they send you home and another trial happens another day. We still have chances Beca."

"We said we'll be honest and you'll tell me when things were looking horrible. I know they are, I'm not getting my hopes up" Beca opened her jacket to feel a bit more free. Then, she almost yelled "Who has my cell?"

"I do" Chloe gave it to her. Police had taken Beca's wallet and phone, so Chloe had it "Why?" Beca took it and looked excitedly at Mr. Beale.

"My phone has location service, it can tell where I was last night." Mr. Beale smiled sadly and shook his head.

"No Beca, it says where it was last night, not you." Beca nodded slowly in realization, sadly "Look, don't give anything for lost, okay? I think it went much better than what I was imagining it would go, there's a big chance they decide to just postpone this and have another trial. The jury usually takes a lot to decide."

"But they aren't deciding, they are looking if they can prove their point and sentence me" Beca said "I know the Kattleborns, they are rich and pretty important, they are putting pressure so this ends fast, and they are powerful enough to have me be the fastest dead person in the history of death sentences. It's almost funny, first time in my life that I really, really want to live, and somebody blames me for killing someone so I can die."

"You're not going to be sentenced to die" Chloe stated "There's no way they think you could kill someone, even if they want them to believe it."

"It occurs to me" Cynthia said "That maybe we could declare Beca mentally unstable. That would buy us time."

"No, they already saw she's perfectly sane" Mr. Beale said. He looked at his watch "It's time to go. You ready?" he added looking at Beca.

"I'll pretend to be" Beca said breathing deeply and standing up, buttoning her jacket again. Chloe took her hand and walked beside her.

The group arrived the doors of the trial room, that were still closed, and stood there for a bit waiting to be called in.

"I will always fight for your freedom and innocence, you know it, right?" Chloe whispered holding her hands.

"I know" Beca smiled a bit "You won't forget how much I love you if I go to prison, right?" Chloe smiled.

"As long as you don't either. I love you" Beca kissed her "It's gonna be alright."

"I hope so" Beca accepted the kiss and hugged her girlfriend "I just wanna go home with you."

After a minute or so, the doors opened and they had to stand up for the jury to give a verdict, that the judge read. Beca felt her heart in her throat and Mr. Beale put an arm around her shoulders protectively.

"Regarding the accusation of murder in first degree, the accused has been declared… guilty."

The room filled with an incredible silence, but Beca slowly, could hear cries. She could feel Mr. Beale's hand on her shoulder, and his words on her ear promising to keep rooting for her and get her to be free and declared innocent, reminding her that nothing was over. Beca was trying to assimilate everything, but everything seemed to go too fast. Now they were about to say what her sentence was, and Beca felt like she was going to throw up, faint, cry and yell all at the same time.

"…death by lethal injection…" she heard then, between other words that didn't make sense, and then she couldn't breathe. She gripped Mr. Beale's suit with sweaty hands, and he looked at her pale expression and understood what was going on.

She thought she heard him ask for help, but she was a murdered, who was going to help her? And then, she was being quickly taken out of the room and Beca's panic increased, thinking she was being taken to prison just like that, dying and all. And then, her jacket was being removed and the first buttons of her blouse opened, and people was talking around her but she couldn't understand what they were saying, were they going to put her the orange clothing just like that? Somebody was making her sit on a couch, and she put her head between her hands trying to catch some air, and then a face appeared in front of her, and she blinked. It was Mr. Beale and he seemed worried, and he was kneeling in front of her stroking her arms, his lips moving, but she couldn't hear. Her vision was blurry and she tried to tell him she was having a heart attack, but nothing came from her mouth.

"Beca, breathe, breathe" she started to hear Mr. Beale, and wanted to obey, but couldn't "Deep breaths Beca, it's gonna be alright."

"Beca" Chloe knelt beside her father, with a warm smile, even though it was obvious she had been crying "Breathe babe, it's okay. We'll bring you back home real soon."

She got to breathe more properly, but then she was crying, she was crying so hard, and she was saying something she didn't know, but Chloe had sat beside her and was hugging her tightly and whispering comforting words with a broken voice. After some time she was just sobbing more softly into Chloe's chest, and Chloe was stroking her back up and down very tenderly.

"I'm innocent" she heard herself say, time after time, relentlessly, until she shut up and sighed deeply feeling Chloe's warm embrace, her sweet words, and her caresses.

"We need to take her now" she heard a voice said, and even though she didn't want to, she pulled apart from Chloe, who smiled at her with her eyes all puffy, and cleaned her cheeks with her thumbs before kissing her deeply.

"I love you" Chloe whispered giving her another hug "I know you're going to be fine. Just be strong, don't let them hurt you, and try to sleep and keep a positive mind, even if they mistreat you. I will visit, and if they hurt you in any way, you tell me and my dad will do whatever he can to help you, and we will fight for you every single day until you're back home with us. You are innocent, don't ever forget that. Don't forget we love you, and you have to come back home. Don't lose your faith and positive mind." She pulled apart, and kissed her again "We're all rooting for you." Beca nodded trying hard to believe her.

"I don't wanna go." Beca whispered.

"You have to" Chloe sniffled "I swear we'll clear your name and get you back home, alright? I swear, no matter what, we'll fight until the very last second, and you need to do it too."

"Okay" Beca nodded "Don't let anybody make you think I'm a killer."

"I won't."

"We'll get you out of there in no time Beca" Mr. Beale stroke her back "I promise."

"Thanks Mr. Beale." Beca said.

"Call me Will. You're family, okay? We don't let family behind."

"Thanks" Beca accepted a hug from him "Okay" She stood up and accepted the orange pajama from the cops "It's going to be okay…"

Everyone turned their backs to Beca so Chloe could help her change, and when it was over, Chloe hugged her and kissed her one last time.

"We won't stop fighting for you" Chloe reminded her "Stay strong Beca. You can do this."

"Be safe Chloe" Beca remembered to say "Whoever got me here, is out there and is a killer. Don't let them hurt any of you."

Beca hugged her parents, Jesse and Aubrey, and then the cops got impatient and rude, so she turned and showed them her wrists to be handcuffed, preparing mentally for the hurt of wearing them, and for what was about to happen to her. Five months. That's what she had left to live now. Chloe smiled sadly at her as she was handcuffed, and Beca pulled her best smile in return for her.

"I love you. I'm innocent." Beca repeated one last time staring at Chloe in the eyes.

"I love you. You're innocent." Chloe nodded, and Beca confronted her sentence.

 **A/N: Leave me some reviews please! thanks for everything!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Thank you so much for this unbelievable response. I'm having some pains in my hand lately, but i'll reply all of you as soon as I'm fine. Thank you! and Jake, I'll wait for your MPs anxiously!**

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Chapter 14:

The sixty seventh day Beca spent in death row, she opened her eyes after having been sleeping on her uncomfortable bed in the small, cold, dark room where she passed twenty three hours every day, with the exception of the hour they let her go to the prison's gardens, or if it was visitation day, the forty five minutes of half freedom she got to sit on one side of a transparent wall and see Chloe, or sometimes other friends or family, or her lawyer, in the other side, and talk to them a bit, even though she was only allowed to have visitation day every two weeks, because everybody thought she was a monster, who didn't deserve one bit of compassion, empathy, kindness or politeness.

William Beale was a very, very good lawyer and he had saved clients from trickier situations, but anything he had done for Beca –and that had been a lot, and he was still doing stuff- seemed to work one bit. Beca was sent to death row in a top security prison for women without further thought, and she counted every day there thanks to the hour she got out of her cell daily, because if it wasn't for that, she wouldn't know if it was day or night. Chloe made sure of tell her a very resumed group of news when they saw each other, so Beca knew she had been expelled from Barden and that the only people who believed she was innocent was Beca's, Chloe's, Aubrey's and Jesse's families, and the Bellas, Benji –Jesse's best male friend and a good friend of Beca-, and some of their family members. She knew people from Maine, people she knew, or neighbors, hated her now, and that tons of hate mail about her came to her family or to the Bellas' house every week. The Bellas even were asked to expel Beca from their group, but they declined it saying that if Beca was about to die, then death would be the one to pull her away from them.

After a first week in and out of prison, presenting pleas and appeals, she was told she was going to prison for one hundred and eighty five days, and that the only way she was getting out was to die, and she wasn't even going out for that. Not only her sentence wasn't decreased, but now it was more than half a year of prison, and after the first nine weeks she already felt like she was going crazy and dying inside.

"One day more" she whispered, trying to warm up her voice because it was visitation day and she felt always surprised by her voice because she only heard it around every two weeks, she barely talked for anything else. At first, she thanked the person that opened a tiny crack in the lowest part of her door to give her a plate of food, but now she didn't anymore. She tried to be a nice person, the nicest, most friendly inmate, to try make them realize they were making a mistake, but that only made her be beaten the crap out of her after one of the inmates got angry for it. A cop had also threatened to kick her butt if she kept _trying to make a cop help her escape prison_ right after she had been beaten up by the inmate, and this cop said this while pressing her back against a wall and pulling her from the neck of her orange pajamas, right before sending her back to her cell and punishing her without visiting that week. That had happened around three weeks after entering prison. She had also discovered food was crap and it was better not to eat it, but because it only came once every day, she tried to save what seemed better, and the rest she threw it down the toilet so the cops thought she was being a good inmate eating everything and kept giving her food. They wouldn't allow Chloe to bring her a single thing.

She looked around her cell, that she had memorized. It was mostly dark, gray, and there were some spiders here and there, one of them had bitten her once and she got a warm, reddish arm for a week, but asking for help was worthless, because cops said if she got to die before her day, she could consider herself lucky, less days to spend there, but Chloe was her ray of sunshine and even when Beca felt she couldn't stand a day more, Chloe still got her hopes up every time because, as she said, _every new hour was a new possibility of finding something to help her_. In front of her bed, was a dirty toilet and a sink, and then in one side was a tiny, tiny, tiny window over the tallest part of the wall, so she could never see through it, and the window was basically a whole in the wall with some iron bars, so if it was cold, Beca knew, and she only had one sheet and nothing else, and her pajama was short sleeved, only having a long white t-shirt underneath. On the other extreme of her bed was the door. Beca got one shower per week, and sometimes she got to have books. The hysteric crying phase was gone and now she was too tired for it, since she couldn't sleep well one single time, and she had some ugly cold despite being June. Chloe and Aubrey would graduate soon and Beca would miss it, after having been planning to be there for weeks. Sometimes Chloe talked to her about the dresses, or insinuated she wouldn't go but then Beca dissuaded it begging her to forget about her and have fun for one night, and their first weeks as girlfriends were spent apart, with Beca in prison, although sometimes Chloe told her they had just made a month or two together. And then Beca told her not to count it like if it was a bad thing, like her days in prison.

"How is that cold going?" Chloe, beautiful as always, although lately she had bags under her eyes and her eyes were spiritless even if they shinned a bit when they saw Beca, was sitting in front of her, one hand keeping the phone they used to communicate against her ear, and the other on the plastic or glass front that was between them, but she made sure her hand was somehow over Beca's dirty one.

"Well, the voice rest helps a bit, like Aubrey said it would" Beca's hoarse voice said "How's your clavicle?"

"Much better" Chloe managed a little smile.

"So, you're graduating in three Fridays, right?" Chloe nodded "Are you wearing the dark blue dress?"

"Yes" Chloe nodded.

"Good. It goes with your eyes" Beca curved her lips into a tiny smile "I'm still not going right?"

"No" Chloe stared at their hands "My dad hasn't spend a day without thinking about ways to get you out of here though."

"But still no luck."

"No luck" Chloe shrugged "Well at least you're alive, that's something. And isn't being lonely good for your Aspergers?" she tried so hard to get a positive thing it almost hurt.

"Chloe…" Beca knew Chloe knew what she said could be interpreted in a thousand bad ways, and saw Chloe bit her lip and try hard not to sob "You have to accept that maybe this is it. I haven't been here not even half my sentence, and I've already been beaten up, bitten by a spider, and gotten a bad cold. I may not even make it to half my sentence, most of the people here don't. Yesterday, another women in death row suicide, two weeks ago, one died from some illness she got. And nobody here cares. Your dad did the best he could, he's an amazing man, so just tell him to rest a bit. It's okay."

"It's not okay Beca" Chloe's broken voice said with frustration "You did nothing wrong, and people treat you worse than terribly, and say horrible things about you, and you get sick and abused and you've already had a life rough enough and it's not fair!"

"Chlo, babe… I know, okay? I know. But we already did all we could, and it'll be easier if we try to just…"

"Accept it? That's not going to happen."

Beca nodded and removed the hand from the glass as the coughed strongly, to cover her hand, for just some seconds.

"Oh, Beca, you're so sick…"

"I feel like real trash Chlo, to be honest" Beca murmured "Maybe if I get sick enough they'll take me to the hospital and we'll gain time because that doesn't count as sentence time. And I'll get a warm bed for a change…" she added with a glimpse of optimism.

"When you get out of here" Chloe said "I'm taking you on a trip far away from here, and I'm gonna take care of you, and bring you back to full health and happiness again, until all of this becomes a blur. And I'll make chocolate cookies, and bring you breakfast to bed, pancakes, and I'll give you back rubs and everything." Chloe said with watery eyes and a grin, and Beca grinned back despite how bad she felt.

"If I was out of here" Beca said "I would take you on more dates, and give you flowers and mixes, and I'd sing you to sleep and bring breakfast to your bed, and I'd massage your feet, and I'd tell you how beautiful you are and how much I love you every single day, several times."

They stared sadly at each other for awhile.

"Promise me you'll come home" Chloe said "you won't leave me."

"I promise" she pointed briefly to Chloe "How come you're alone?" Chloe was always accompanied with Jesse, Aubrey, and Beca's parents, or at least some of them "Anyone wanted to see me?"

"They are all dying to see you Beca. But I had to force Aubrey to stay because she has a huge exam tomorrow morning and if she doesn't pass, she won't graduate, and Jesse got a bad flu and is been having a huge fever, he wanted to come with it all, but we said no. And as for your parents… they asked me to come alone, they said maybe you'd like to have some time alone with me for a change, so the others also thought about that and didn't come either."

"Those are poor excuses for my parents" Beca sighed "I mean I love having you here, but I haven't seen my family in two weeks. I've only seen inmates and cops, this is the first time I even speak in two weeks… I miss them."

"I know. I guess it just hurts too much for them to see you here."

"And it doesn't hurt you then? For God sakes Chloe, it doesn't hurt me then?"

"Beca" Chloe stared at her "I know. I'll make them come next time no matter what, okay?"

"Okay. But don't let anybody, and that includes yourself, fail the year. And tell Jesse I'll think about him, and to get well soon. Tell them I love them, okay?"

"I will" Chloe nodded "Almost forgot, I brought something… I know I cannot give it to you, but something is something." She put a hand on her purse and got a tiny helicopter out, putting it as close as possible to Beca's hand.

"You still have it" Beca smiled surprised "My grandpa's helicopter."

"I would never lose it" Chloe said "It's always on my bedside table. Sometimes I dream with coming here in a helicopter and get you out."

"I wish" Beca said.

"Think about him, They won't let you die like this. They can't."

"They are dead, Chlo."

"I know" Chloe smiled. They sat in silence for a while, and then Chloe started singing in a bare whisper, but it made Beca smile as she got her face as close to Chloe's as possible " _This one's for the lonely, the ones that seek and find, only to be let down time after time. This one's for the torn down, the experts at the fall, come on friends, get up now, you're not alone at all. Oh… oh… And this part was for her. And this part was for her… This part was for her. Does she remember?_ " Beca smiled a bit and joined her even with her raspy voice " _It comes and goes in waves… This one's for the faithless, the ones that are surprised, they're only where they are now regardless of their fight. This one's for believing if only for its sake, come on friends get up now love is to be made… oh… oh…_ " then a cop told them to shut up and they did abruptly but with tiny smiles on their faces "You're the bravest, strongest person I know. You can do this Beca."

"I don't know how much more I can stand Chloe" Beca whispered "Even the deepest glasses overflow."

"I know. Just hold on another two weeks, and little by little, it'll be over."

"I'll be dead."

"I won't let that happen" Chloe argued.

"Don't do anything crazy. Don't join me here."

"It wouldn't be as bad idea."

"Chloe…"

"Okay." Chloe smiled, and a cop came behind Beca.

"Mitchell, say goodbye to ginger" he said rudely. Beca looked at the clock in the wall.

"But there are five minutes left!" she argued hoarsely.

"Beca, it's okay. We'll have forever to make up for all the lost time. It'll be worthwhile." Chloe smiled trying to give Beca strength. They both stood up staring intently at each other as the cop rudely put Beca's hands back to handcuff them "Keep taking care, and your wrists clean. Sleep as curled as possible to protect from the cold, don't eat anything that looks bad, keep your throat hydrated, and your mind clear."

"I know" Beca nodded "Tell them I love them. Chlo, I love you. I need to come back, I have stuff to do."

"I'll get you out no matter what."

"Chloe!" Beca stopped the guard from taking her and turned around to look at Chloe one last time "I may be just a child, but when I get out of here, I'm proposing you!"

Chloe giggled.

"You are a kid!" Chloe yelled back "but I'll say yes!" Beca put a huge grin on her face, and disappeared behind a wall.

Two weeks later, Beca talked nonstop, much more positive and optimist even if the news were still bad, but she told Chloe how she had been planning their wedding, and their life together, and how their kids would look, and Chloe saw even if Beca had had it rough to get used to this new routine after losing her own, her Aspergers going crazy for the first month until Beca got some control over it again, now the brunette could cling to their future wedding, to their future life, even if it was very desperate, and Chloe grinned the whole time hearing the enthusiasm that hoarse voice was carrying. Another two weeks after that, Beca's throat was much worse, but Aubrey, Jesse, Chloe, Benjamin Mitchell, William Beale, and Beca's mother, along with a couple other Bellas came, and even if Beca had no voice at all, she heard them talk about the Graduation, the dresses, how drunk some got, how much they danced, and everything. And Beca listened attentively, and grinned happily a few times. However, another two weeks after, when Chloe, Beca's parents, Jesse and Aubrey came, they found a very pale Beca that, with the little voice that she had recovered, explained them she ate something bad and had been throwing up constantly for two days, and just started feeling somehow better that day. After that, Beca's family and friends reported the prison's poor conditions and the horrible way they were treating her –William put some laws he found in the face of some important people- and Beca got to have visitation day weekly and some better food, even if it was just because the governor wanted her to die when the sentence said so. But that made all of them pretty happier, although it lasted maybe a month and a half. Then, they could only see Beca weekly barely trying to survive, to stay optimistic, to stay happy, even if she missed her own birthday. By then, she had less than a month to live, and a very tired, very depressed Beca, received her parents, Chloe, Jesse, Aubrey, her lawyer and some of the Bellas, two days after her birthday when visitation day came, and this time they got the cops to let them a room and one hour and a half of time, even if there were another four cops there, and when they got to, through tears, hug the much thinner, much weaker, and much paler, Beca, they all cried a lot for some time. It was the only hug the cops let them have, though, but for Beca was a hell of a birthday present, that and the kiss Chloe gave her. Beca even got to play with her grandpa's helicopter like a child, and resolve a Sudoku, while everyone told them about how everything was going and stuff.

"Is there any way I'm not dying in two weeks and a half?" Beca asked after some time.

"We're still fighting" William Beale replied.

"Will, we've been since March. I've been here since March and I don't even know how I haven't completely lost my mind. Your attempts to get me out of here have only failed time after time, and you're a hell of a lawyer, but the governor wants me dead so..." she shrugged "Maybe it's time to say I left my entire will and testament in my laptop."

"We have a tiny something we think will work in time" Benjamin intervened "but we can't tell you anything yet, because people are watching."

"But if it works, they'll have to declare you innocent" Chloe stated. Beca nodded slowly.

"And if it doesn't, I get a lethal injection for free. Mom, please don't cry" Beca added seeing her mother's eyes.

"How can you talk like that?" her mother whispered.

"Mom, I'm too angry to figure out how to talk. I'm about to die for not killing someone now I wish I killed, the murderer could've killed you already, and there's nothing I can do about anything, but stay here and be a good girl. You have no idea how awful, disgustingly horrible and traumatic my nineteen years of life have been, how many times I just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up and now, for one time I am so happy I go smiling down the street, I'm gonna be killed! So excuse me if I don't care about how I talk anymore" Beca whispered angrily and fast.

A week before her death, Beca was laying on her bed. Her last visit before her death had just concluded, and they had finally accepted she was dying, and said their goodbyes. And cried, even if they could just look at each other from sides of the glass. And not caring about what police came, everyone came. Now she was emotionally drained, and physically drained. Six months of barely sleeping, sleeping horribly every time she did, nightmares, being beaten, having colds despite being summer, having stomach bugs, six months had ended her. Her Aspergers didn't even have a chance to drive her crazy because her social life was never so bad, and she couldn't even swear she hadn't gone mental. She talked to herself a lot, and that helped a bit, she read as much as possible, she sang if she could remember a song, she tried to keep her brain working normal. A month ago, a cop started coming at night, and forced her, time after time, every night, but Beca didn't dare to tell anyone. She was going to die anyway. Inmates still hurt her from time to time, but even though they saw the bruises, neither Chloe or anyone got her anymore privileges. From her family, everyone except her parents and Sheila had calumniated her, talked horribly about her with the press, like many people from her class had done too. Everyone in the world was convinced she had done something that was more horribly told every time, because people even invented parts of it.

Jesse had started second year, like the other Bellas and Benji. Aubrey got into the Med School that was in Atlanta, she also got into the one in NYC, but she chose to stay. Chloe was working half time in a photography studio as an auxiliary, and she went to some classes of painting three times per week. And now, as Beca fixed her eyes on Chloe, both of them too sad, too drained, to cry, with only a window separating them, Beca sank in that ocean thinking that everyone would go on without her. That things would be better one day. But that she had to die.

"I'm just a kid. I'm a good person. I never broke the law. I never killed a single living being." She stated when she was told she had a right for last words "Today an innocent kid will be murdered… and you'll have a true killer out there to be afraid of."

And even if she had been calm, serious, quiet, all time, defeated and resigned to her destiny, when she was forced into a stretcher and tied to it, the survival instinct kicked in at the same time the unfairness of the situation did, and she started offering so much resistance, and screams, and crying, they needed six police officers to get her into a bed and put an IV in each arm.

She knew how it worked. The first shoot was sodium thiopental, and would basically make her lose consciousness in less than a minute. The second was pancuronium bromide, and it would paralyze her lungs and diaphragm. The third, was potassium chloride, and it would stop her heart. Of course, they would give her several shoots of each, and if the first poison didn't affect her as much, she would be in agony until her death.

She could hear cries, and didn't know if they were hers, somebody else's, or both. Beca laid restrained on the bed, watching helplessly how they connected her to a monitor to see her heartbeats, and she watched helplessly, between sobs, how the first shoot came into her body. She felt herself relax powerlessly, and her eyes closed. She thought that was it, her vision was blurry, her eyelids were falling, darkness was coming… but she didn't felt unconscious or dead. And then the most agonizing pain was felt everywhere in her body, but she couldn't scream, or cry, or do anything at all, and her eyes wouldn't open.

Then, just like that, she felt nothing.

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 **A/N: Leave me some reviews please!**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** **Hi everyone! I hope you all had great Christmas and fun these days, even if in your countries is not Christmas day, or you live in Australia and already knew how Christmas would be before us Europeans! Thanks a lot for the wonderful support. For those who have been wondering, my hand is somehow better although somedays is really bad, which is crappy because now with the exams around the corner I really need it! and my Christmas was pretty nice. Haven't gotten sad yet, I guess my heart will wait until New Year's Eve to hurt a little.**

 **I hope you enjoy this chapter, remember to let me know 'cause the more anxious I see you for a new chapter, the faster that it'll be up!**

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Chapter 15:

A strong headache was the first thing she felt as she, very, very slowly, started coming slightly out of her numbness, her eyelids feeling so heavy, and her whole body feeling heavy too. Then she realized breathing hurt a bit, and she had something, like a mask, on her face, and some other stuff here and there, but she was mostly really numb and heavy.

"Any changes?" she heard then. Was it William Beale?

"Any" she heard her dad say. What were they talking about? What the hell happened? Of course there were changes, she was alive after all. If she could, she'll laugh, but between her numbness and the even more numbness the headache was giving her, she felt like she better slept a bit. She was afraid to, but her body didn't care, and she fell asleep soon.

"Hey babe" Chloe's sweet voice woke her up, although she still felt too sleepy, numb and heavy to move one bit, not even to open her eyes "I'm here again. Are you going to let me see those pretty eyes of yours today?" hell yeah. She could ask the same thing actually, but she really needed to push those eyes open. How could a bit of skin be so heavy anyway?

Some time passed, she didn't know how much. And then she felt it. Her finger was moving, and even if it wasn't much, was enough for some soft hand she knew all too well to caress her hand.

"She's moving. She's awakening" she heard Chloe say to someone.

"Beca?" she didn't know that voice, but it was a male one "Can you hear us? Can you open your eyes for us?" well, for him she wasn't that sure, but she sure could for Chloe. However, when she started to really try, she felt herself fall asleep again.

Then, one day, she woke up again, and felt her eyelids open just a tiny, tiny bit, and the light that came made her blink a bit. Then, between the sunlight, she started seeing other things, and she saw a glimpse of red hair. She heard herself make some noise into the mask in her face, and the red hair moved, and a hand stroke her cheek tenderly.

"Beca, you're awake" she heard the relief in the voice, and she tried to say more, but her lips felt heavy, her lungs, even heavier, and her throat, sore "What is it babe?" the mask was pulled a bit down and she tried again.

"Lov… u" she then coughed gasping for air and the mask went back to her face, and she felt warm lips on her cheek.

"I love you too" she heard Chloe say.

Her eyes opened slowly one night a few days later, and this time, they opened halfway, and she saw an unknown room that was only illuminated by a light coming from a lamp on her bedside table, another from a tall lamp that was in the floor next to some sofas, and a light coming from somewhere over her bed, like a wall lamp or something. She had a plastic mask covering her nose and mouth, and she heard her own slow, deep breathing, and she reminded herself of Dark Vader, and she felt herself less numb and heavy than before. She was reclined on a hospital bed, sheets covering her to her belly, her pale arms over them laying lifelessly with bandages over the wrists, and a IV was connected to the inside side of her right elbow. She was in a warm, big, beige room, there was a door in front of her bed, a window to her right, and a closet, a couple sofas, and a coffee table, to her left. There was an armchair in each side of her bed, and next to the door in front of her bed, that had a tiny window. there was another door that had any window. Through the two windows she could see a corridor, people with white coats walking around, and other people too.

Sitting on an armchair by her right was her dad, and on the other armchair by her left was Chloe. On the couch, she saw William, an unknown woman, her mother, Jesse, Jesse's mom, Aubrey, Fat Amy, Cynthia Rose and Stacie. The room had some windows through which she could see a dark sky.

"Good morning at night beautiful" her dad smiled warmly at her, a finger stroking her cheek.

"She's awake?" her mother asked.

"Yeah" Chloe replied "Beca's awake." She curved her lips forming a tiny smile.

Some noise was heard and the ones on the sofas stood around the bed, staring at her. Aubrey grinned with her eyes fixed on Beca's and the short brunette tried to smile a bit. She had really missed all of them, even the woman she didn't know.

"Best birthday present ever" Aubrey said "You okay there shorty? Can we get you anything?"

Carefully, her dad moved her mask away from her face, she coughed a bit gasping for oxygen, and then a plastic tube was placed under her nose.

"Just like doctor Barlow said" her dad murmured satisfied "breathe through the nose, okay sweetie?" Beca nodded and took a deep breath through her nose, coughed a bit, but was fine. Her headache wasn't as strong now.

"Water" she whispered, and soon, Chloe was helping her drink a bit, and that water tasted so much better than prison's "Good" she said in reply to Aubrey "Happy birth…daeh." Chloe giggled and Aubrey smiled even more.

"Thanks. Twenty two three days ago, not too bad Mitchell."

Beca nodded with a tiny smile and looked at her wrists.

"No handcuffs… what… happened?" she asked through breaths.

"My genius dad happened" Chloe said proudly, and William smiled.

"Remember we said we had something planned?" he reminded her, and she nodded "Well, it was a private detective. Your mother's idea. We thought, if police isn't investigating properly, someone should. And right a couple hours before you were taken to… you know. I got a call from the guy saying he had important news. Went there, it turns out, he had solid proofs that Mr. Kattleborn killed his son, and we ran with it to the judge. Because everything with this goes slow and the prison is too far away, we knew we were running out of time, they were about to give you the one that stops your heart when we convinced the judge to call and stop the execution immediately, which they did right in time. But they still had given you quite bad stuff, so your heart stopped in the way to the hospital, and you've been in coma for a couple weeks." Mr. Beale explained "I just met the judge again this morning, and all the procedures with Mr. Kattleborn are over, he has officially been declared guilty for murdering his son, he confessed and is now in prison, death sentence, and according to the judge, you're free of all charges, and people will start apologizing for the way they treated you, starting with the governor. Once you're better, you can go home or wherever you want."

Beca was popeyed, amazed, and Chloe grinned.

"I told you my dad was really good, didn't I?"

"Might have mentioned" Beca said hoarsely "Thanks Will. Unbelievable."

"You should've heard your stupid other family members when your dad and I started making calls to tell them the news" her mother said happily "they will never stop apologizing for this. And you won't have to see them ever again, bunch of assholes…"

"Good" Beca looked at Chloe "Your hair is longer."

"Yours too, six months don't go by in vain, right?" Chloe smiled kindly and Beca nodded.

"You're beautiful." Chloe clicked her tongue and leaned forward stroking Beca's cheek, not caring about _the looks_ the others were giving.

"Well I wish I could say the same, but I'm gonna have to take you to Tampa if we want your skin to look normal ever again" she smiled a bit, and Beca did too.

"Take me wherever. I don't have to study anymore."

"You do. Barden took you back, and they will express they apologizes soon." Her father intervened, and Chloe nodded.

"They'll let you go to the second year, they know you're a genius anyway" Chloe said.

"A cop raped me" Beca blurted suddenly in a burst of courage "A lot." Chloe nodded.

"I already broke his cock" Chloe stated, and Beca giggled.

"You're kidding right?"

"No I'm not" Chloe replied seriously.

"How…?"

"Because I know my girlfriend. And the other day, when we saw for the last time, I hugged you and I saw a hickey on the back of your shoulder, and I know you hate those, so I put two and two together, and when you got into the hospital and you were doing a bit better, I spoke to your dad who spoke to the docs, and they saw you had been raped recently. So we went with the law in hand to the prison, spoke to the chief of it, who, by the way, has been fired after having been reported too many times by too many people, and one thing lead to another and we found the guy. Fatty, blonde with red cheeks?" Beca nodded and Chloe nodded seriously "Kicked him between the legs, the docs said it's broken, and your dad broke his nose. Plus, he's going to prison for what he did to you. That prison broke a bunch of laws only with you, and they had already broken a ton with other inmates previously."

"Good. Kiss?" Beca asked, and Chloe grinned.

"If you promise to breathe through that cute nose of yours…" Beca smiled, and Chloe leaned giving her the softest, deepest kiss, the first non-urgent one in six months. Beca raised her left hand to caress her hair and closed her eyes kissing her back for a bit, until Chloe pulled apart "Good?"

"Perfect" Beca smiled in a silly way "Can I sleep?"

"Yeah, you should" Chloe said "I'll be here later too."

Bur Beca didn't sleep for long. She went back to prison in her dreams, and to many other horrible stuff, and her heartbeats went to fast she woke up gasping for air and with tears in her eyes and Chloe hugged her immediately, saying soothing words and stroking her back and Beca coughed, until she could breathe properly again.

"Okay, alright" Chloe leaned her back again against the bed, and moved the hair away from her face "Feel better?" Beca nodded breathing deeply "Your lungs and diaphragm were paralyzed, it'll take a while for them to get better, but they will, slowly."

"It hurt" Chloe looked confused "I wasn't unconscious yet. It hurt." Chloe understood and sat hugging her as tightly as it would go without hurting her.

"I'm very sorry Beca. It's over now babe, I swear, you'll be home soon and I will never let anybody take you away anymore."

"Is it really over? I'm not dreaming or dead?" Beca asked with a bare whisper against Chloe's shoulder closing her eyes and sinking into Chloe's embrace.

"It's over, for real. You're alive, fortunately, very much alive" Chloe replied kissing the side of her head lovingly "You're going to be okay. I'll take care of you."

Next time she woke up, it seemed to be the afternoon, judging by the color of the sky. The sky, she hadn't seen it much in six months, almost nothing she had seen. She opened her eyes to see Chloe's so close their noses were almost touching. The ginger had crossed her arms beside her head on the pillow, and had supported her chin there, and only her nose and eyes were showing. Seeing she was awake, Chloe moved her face up a bit to show a smile and extended an index finger to touch Beca's nose playfully.

"Hi pretty girl" Chloe said, changing again Beca's mask, who had came back, for a tube between her upper lip and her nose.

"Hi" Beca replied with a tiny smile "Was your plan to creep me out?"

"I couldn't resist watching you sleep" Beca's head was on its side, and Chloe pressed a hand softly and caringly against Beca's forehead rubbing some hair out of it "Today is October 1st, afternoon already. You should have something to eat Becs. Even if food here isn't amazing…"

"Anything is better than prison crap. I'm hungry, yeah" Beca nodded.

"Okay, I'm gonna let a nurse know. Your doctor will want to pay you a visit before letting you eat normal." Chloe stood up and looked back. The others were back to the sofas and some other people had come too "Ben, Becs' awake and hungry, I'm gonna go see if a nurse can get her something good." Since when did Chloe call her dad Ben and not Doctor Mitchell, was something Beca couldn't know.

"Awesome" Chloe left and Beca's parents came closer "How are you doing sweetie?" Benjamin asked.

"I can't be worse than how I was so… good" Beca replied with a hoarse whisper. Sometimes when she breathed too strongly she felt some pain in her chest, so she tried to avoid that, and sat straight feeling the need to move and stretch her numb body a bit, and rubbed her eyes yawning a bit. October 1st, that was like two weeks and a half since she was almost murdered. She stared at the needle in her arm and felt the urgent fear and need to rip it off, but thought it was better to tell it to the doctor, just in case she hurt a vein or something and got herself in major trouble "Mom, water?" she asked weakly, and her mother helped her drink some water from a plastic glass. Right after, a short and slightly fatty man with a white coat came in. He was one of these persons that seem funny and friendly with just looking at them, but also had deep eyes that made Beca want to trust him instead of run away from her like it had been her first instinct. She just hated doctors, they brought too many bad memories to her mind.

"Good evening Beca" he said with a warm smile. Behind him, Chloe came in and gave Beca an encouraging smile "I'm your doctor, Walter Barlow, but you should call me Walt. Can I call you Beca?" he asked approaching her with a folder under his arm.

"I guess, you already did" Beca replied and _Walt_ smiled a bit.

"So, your girlfriend here told me you don't like doctors much, uh?"

"More like hate them, and hospitals" Beca replied "although I guess right now you can't scare me half what prison scares me so it should be alright." She spoke slowly, taking breaths every couple words or so "Are you going to update me with my health state?"

"Yeah, I should" he looked over his folder a bit "So, you've lost twelve kilos in six months, and I can't let you go home until you recover at least seven, because a nineteen year old weighting forty five isn't right. Also, your lungs and heart were kind of bad" he said sitting on an armchair next to her "but I think they are much better. If you let me, I'd like to check on them in a bit anyway. On the other side, your throat was slightly swollen, and I've been told you had a pretty bad cold, so it's normal, but because we had to put a tube so you could breathe properly, it may be pretty itchy, so just keep it hydrated and I'll give you some syrup for it too, and it'll heal completely in a matter of days. Also, I was told you had some stomach bug sometime ago, and took a look, but it seems completely fine, although because the stomach it's a muscle and you haven't been eating much, which is understandable, it's a bit smaller so even if you're really hungry, you should eat more and more very slowly starting by very little, or you'll throw it up. And least but not less important" he sighed staring at Beca intently and leaving the folder closed on his knees "You aren't pregnant, but it's no secret for me that you have been raped quite a lot, although as for your sexual parts, they aren't very damaged and they should be perfectly fine."

Beca nodded slowly.

"Alright. Can we make a deal?"

"What deal?"

"I'll let you hear my chest if you remove that IV. It's driving me insane." The doctor smirked a bit.

"Deal, you can live without it, although you'll have to stand the catheter" he added lowering his voice "until the morning" Beca nodded with a tiny smile "Okay." Cautiously, he took the IV out and healed the wound with the help of a nurse, wrapping it with some cotton and surgical tape at the end.

After that, Beca let the doctor hear her insides, and after commenting that it all sounded better but that it was still bad, the doctor gave permission for her to have some dinner later, so Beca decided to wait until dinner time while laying comfortably on the bed, lowering the reclining of the bed so she could lay almost completely horizontal on her side, closing her eyes not planning to sleep, but to rest, breathing with the help of her plastic oxygen mask. After a while, she felt lips on her forehead.

"I have to go to work for a couple hours. Do you need anything from home? I could pass on my way back here later" Chloe whispered, and Beca opened her eyes, thoughtful, but ended up shaking her head and smiling a bit "Okay. I'll be back soon, I love you. Oh, by the way, that woman there with my dad, is my mother, okay? You can call her Anna. And my brother, Dylan, he'll come later."

"Doesn't he live in Canada?" Beca asked pulling her mask down a bit.

"Yeah, but he was very worried, plus, it's just October, he can go back later. I'd present you, but I really have to go and I have no idea when he's coming. Will you be okay without me here?" she asked with worried eyes, and Beca nodded.

"I'll be good. How's that driving?"

"I'm good, still freak out a bit, but better. See you." She left, and Beca got comfortable again, and closed her eyes. She ended up falling asleep, but woke up a couple hours later.

"Look who's awake!" Jesse looked down at her. He was standing next to her bed, connecting his cell to his charger, that was plugged in next to her bedside table "How's that going?"

"Fine" Beca removed her mask from her face substituting it for the tube quickly so she could talk. She felt something different and looked under the sheets "Where's my peeing thing?"

"The doctor kicked us out and removed it while you were sleeping. You didn't wake up?" Jesse smiled surprised.

"No" Beca smiled a bit happy to see him "Shouldn't you be studying or something?"

"Studying, visiting sister in hospital, studying…" he gestured with his hands like if he was weighting things on a weighing scale "I'll be fine, it's not that hard stuff."

Beca nodded and took the control of the bed, pressing a button to be sitting straighter.

"Do you still work for Luke?" she asked and he shook his head.

"He was a real dick during these past months, so I left. Now I work a couple hours in the afternoons at a music instruments' store a couple streets away from here, and it's great" Jesse explained.

Beca nodded smiling a bit and looked to the sofas behind Jesse. Her parents and Sheila had left for a bit, and now Aubrey was chatting quietly with a ginger, tall man, that reminded Beca a lot of Chloe, so she imagined he was Dylan Beale, her brother that lived in Canada. Next to them were William and a woman that Beca thought had to be Anna Beale, Chloe and Dylan's mother. The Bellas were also around, except Chloe.

"Is Chloe still at work, Aubrey?" Beca asked and Aubrey looked at her.

"She texted me like ten minutes ago saying she was at the Bellas' house picking up some stuff before coming here. She'll be around soon." Aubrey explained.

"Now that you mention" Beca remembered "I remember you guys told me weeks ago you were looking for a flat together, the two of you, did you find something?" Aubrey nodded and smiled a bit.

"Yeah, our apartment is like a couple blocks from here or so. It's not as big as the Bellas' house of course, but we like it quite a lot, and it has good views" Aubrey explained "You'll like it. By the way have you met Dylan and Anna?"

"Oh, yeah, hi" Beca smiled a bit to them "Chloe talked me a bit about you."

"Good, because she hasn't stopped talking about you in like a year or so" Dylan smiled warmly and Beca blushed.

"How are you feeling darling?" Anna smiled at her and put a look that had a little something so Chloe, Beca couldn't believe it.

"Better, I guess that's the good part about starting in crap" she made a stop to breathe "you can only improve." Anna smiled a bit.

"Your parents left not long ago to have some food" Anna informed her "We promised to look after you, so if there's anything you need…" Beca nodded.

"Thanks" Beca replied "Your family already gave me all I could ever ask for, so I'm okay." She added with a tiny smile, and the Beales grinned.

"So my sister told us you have Aspergers, and gave us a book about it that we've been reading quite a lot" Dylan said "and one of the things it said was that they like to be alone sometimes, so if you feel like having less people around from time to time, you can just say so."

"It's okay, although it would normally be accurate" Beca stopped to breathe "after six months alone, I don't think I'll ask for it in a very, long, time."

There was a knock on the door and Chloe peeked opening it a bit and grinning at Beca.

"Hey" Chloe said cheerfully, coming in and closing the door behind her.

"Work?" Beca asked staring at her happily.

"Pretty good, I owed my boss this couple hours and now I don't owe him anymore. I had to develop some photos" she left Beca's laptop bag carefully on the coffee table and took a plastic bag and a newspaper out of her purse "So, Aubrey texted me and you don't have a catheter anymore, which means you can wear your own pajamas, so I brought one. Also, I thought you'd like to have your laptop close just in case you feel like mixing or something, and I also brought a newspaper from last Sunday with a brand new crossword nobody has touched." She said sitting on the side of the bed. Beca grinned.

"I love you" Beca stated, and Chloe smiled.

"I love you too" Chloe leaned and they kissed for a bit "so do you want to change?"

"Yeah, I've missed home's smell on my own clothes" she got up from the bed slowly, tying up her robe that somebody had brought her days ago while she wasn't asleep yet, or so she imagined, and stretched a bit.

"Stop there soldier, you'll have to remove that" Chloe pointed to the oxygen tube and Beca nodded leaving it on her bed "Will you be good without it?" Beca breathed deeply and nodded.

"Fine" Beca said, taking her pajamas from the plastic bag Chloe handed her "Thanks."

"If you need anything, knock twice and I'll go in" Chloe said, and Beca nodded giving her a thumbs up before entering the bathroom.

"Shouldn't you have gone in with her?" Cynthia asked.

"I haven't seen her other than in underwear" Chloe simply replied sitting on the bed and staring at the door.

"Are you kidding me? What about sex?" Stacie looked skeptical.

"Stacie we've barely had time together since we're dating, I don't even think any of us has thought about sex. And she has been raped, I'm not rushing it" Chloe replied in a whisper so Beca wouldn't hear a thing.

While in the bathroom, Beca took a minute to see herself in the mirror for the first time in six months, and nude. She was incredibly thin, her breast smaller, and her ribs showed a little bit. Her arms, legs and face were also much skinnier, and her whole self was pale and her eyes were spiritless and reflected so much pain she almost cried just looking at herself. She had a tiny horizontal scar over one eyebrow, a tiny wound almost completely healed in the inside part of her inferior lip, and some bruises here and there, all from having been beaten. She had body hair in places she didn't like to have hair in, but she didn't care much. Not long after, Beca came out of the bathroom, happily dressed with her own pajamas, and left her robe on her bed before climbing to her bed and breathing with the help of that tiny tube.

"Thanks for the pajamas babe" Beca said sitting beside Chloe and cuddling into her embrace. Chloe smiled and hugged her tightly "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Chloe massaged Beca's scalp through her hair with her fingertips "Did you sleep a little?"

"Indeed" Beca nodded "I met your family."

"I met your mother" Chloe said smiling a bit "Nice lady by the way. What do you think about my gingers?" she asked eyeing her family and winking.

"Didn't expect another thing from your family" Beca replied. Then she sat straight and looked through the window "God, I hadn't seen the nightfall in six months." She muttered with watery eyes. Chloe smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Now you'll get to see it every night" Emily smiled.

"No more prison, no more cold cells, no more asshole cops, or asshole inmates, no more crap" Chloe whispered hugging Beca from the side. Beca sighed leaning onto her "In fact I was about to ask you, would you like to move in with Aubrey and me? There's a spare room, although we could also turn my bedroom into our bedroom if you want."

Beca stared incredulously at her, her eyes wide open.

"Are you serious?" Beca whispered, and Chloe smiled a bit and nodded eagerly. Beca felt her eyes fill with tears and nodded "Yes, let's do that. Is your bed bigger than mines at the Bella's house?"

"Oh, yeah" Chloe grinned "King Size, you know? Aubrey and I went a bit crazy the day we went bed-shopping."

"Good" Beca smiled "You're a sheet-robber."

"Indeed" Chloe giggled leaning to kiss her with a hand on her cheek bone. They pulled apart after being kissing for awhile "I've missed you so much." She whispered against Beca's lips.

"Is this real, or I'll wake up there again?" Beca asked without daring to open her eyes.

"Open your eyes" Chloe said, and smiled when Beca did "This is what you're gonna see every day first thing in the morning, from now on, not that cell anymore. This is real. And if it's not" Chloe gave her another kiss "then it's the best dream of our lives. But either way, you're alive and with me."

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 **A/N: I saw you all flipped a lot with last chapter, and the response was amazingly big, although some weren't quite nice, but I'm glad to say the majority was the nicest! So, the answers:**

 **Snowflake, you left me confused, how am I being rude? is just an angsty story, and you're right, as I've told many reviewers, how could I ever continue writing a story about Beca having aspergers without Beca? plus, it would be very disrespecting to my readers and even more, to the Aspies that are reading.**

 **Guest, all of them, even though you aren't probably the same person. Some of you, whoever you are, are being quite rude, others not at all, but I gotta say you all HOW CAN I KEEP WRITING A STORY ABOUT BECA HAVING ASPERGERS SYNDROME WITHOUT HER? It'll be okay, come on, don't stress so much. Cliffhangers need to exist, that doesn't make a story pointless, and as long as I'm not saying is the end and putting the story as 'complete' in the info, IT IS NOT COMPLETE.**

 **Mia, we both know you love me hahahaha**

 **G, hey, thank you a lot, i'm glad I'm writing good enough! well, here you have it, sleep tight!**

 **Dell, i'm sorry :)**

 **GUEST ESPAÑOL ooooh lo siento!**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Thank you reviewers! Wow, SO MANY reviews, it's fantastic. Thank you for all the compliments, they really get to me and made me feel great, it's so good that you're enjoying this story so much. And for the ones that felt more scared that things would go wrong, I'm sorry! Also, yes, there will be more PTSD, I know some were concerned for that, it'll be as realistic as I can make it. And yeah, I know sometimes narration can get a bit boring, I'll try to fix it in the future, but I don't have time to try and make it better in the chapters that are already written, is simply one of those times of the year when I write when I can and study the rest, but as I write new stuff, I will definitely try to make it better. Happy New Year!**

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Chapter 16:

"Come on Beca!" Fat Amy encouraged.

"Don't you dare make me lose five dollars!" Flo said too.

They were sitting around Beca on the side of the bed, as the brunette blew into a tube, trying to get some plastic little balls that were in some kind of vertical plastic cage to jump towards the top of it. It was a breathing exercise to strengthen her lungs, you could adjust how much the difficulty of it was, and it basically consisted of blowing air, that would make the five plastic balls jump up, even if until now, Beca had only gotten them to half of the distance. To make it more like a funny game and less of a boring and tiring exercise, the Bellas often made bets around it. This time, Flo had bet five dollars that Beca didn't go higher that the last time, while Fat Amy had said the opposite, and for now, as Beca's face turned red from the effort, was winning. The balls finally moved a distance good enough to consider Fat Amy won, and Beca stopped the exercise coughing, while Chloe patted her back lovingly and the Bellas cheered.

"Very good love, but don't push yourself too hard or you'll hurt yourself" Chloe scolded with a tiny smile, her arm around Beca, keeping her close to her comforting arms and kissing her temple tenderly.

"Sorry Flo" Beca said hoarsely with a grin.

"Bah, it's okay. Next time I'm betting ten dollars you go higher" Flo smiled warmly.

"Do I get a prize?" Beca turned to Chloe, who raised her eyebrows.

"I don't know Becs, you still didn't reach the top…"

"Oh, come on" Beca pouted and Chloe giggled and pulled her in for a kiss.

"The problem" Chloe talked between kisses "is that" kiss "I cannot" kiss "have" kiss "enough" kiss "of you" long kiss. At that time the Bellas were the only ones in the room. Beca was happy to have her crosswords and Sudoku back again, and her Aspergers hadn't bothered her about having so much company, because she had really missed it, although many times she grew confused when people looked what Chloe said was in a worried way at her, whenever she woke up from a nightmare, coughed too much, had some chest pain, or threw up what she just ate, and having to figure out other people's emotions and expressions so much sometimes tired her a lot, but then, she just focused on Chloe and forgot about everyone else.

There was a knock in the door and her parents –fortunately Sheila wasn't with her dad that day- along with Chloe's family and Jesse, came in. After some time of talking calmly, there was another timid knock at the door.

"Are we waiting for somebody else?" Beca's mom asked. Beca shook her head and looked at Chloe questioningly, and the ginger went to open the door cautiously.

Then, in front of the door, appeared a woman in her sixties, short –a bit shorter than Beca-, fat, faint blonde and very pale blue eyes. She looked up to Chloe with pleading eyes and Chloe, when she recognized the woman, gave her an angry glance and starting closing the door, but the old hand of the woman stopped here.

"Wait!" the woman begged, letting a muffle go.

"You should go" Chloe said angrily.

"Who is she?" Fat Amy whispered.

"Justin Kattleborn's mother" Beca whispered, just looking at the women by the door.

"I know, I just want a minute with her" Miss Kattleborn sobbed, pointing timidly to Beca.

"You did enough to her already" Chloe blurted "Don't think even for a second I've forgotten all you've been saying about her all these months." The woman nodded crying more loudly now and staring at her feet. When she was about to go, Beca stood up.

"Wait!" Beca asked. Chloe looked at her questioningly "It'll be just a minute."

"Baby you have no idea the horrible stuff she s…" Miss Kattleborn now sniffled trying to calm down while looking at them

"I know Chloe, I can imagine" Beca nodded "But I'm not about to give all of them the reason and act like the horrible person they believe me to be. I'm better than that, and you are too." Chloe nodded and sat on the side of the bed next to them. Beca stood in front of the old woman, an impassible look on her face "What do you want?"

"I…" the woman sobbed and sniffled "My husband, the love of m-my life" she said between sobs "k-killed m-my only s-son, my b-baby, and n-now he's about to d-die in prison…"

"I see" Beca nodded "I guess between your husband and me, now you understand sometimes people aren't how they seem to be. Your husband has it deserved, I'm happy he now has the shoes I've been having for six months."

"I… I wanted… the truth" the woman said.

"The truth?" Beca glanced behind the old woman and closed the door behind her so she was in the room "You want the truth now?" the woman nodded "The truth is, when I hadn't even turned fifteen yet, your son met me at a party, and I was Aspie enough to not realize he wanted to get into my pants in time. The truth is that night your son Justin raped me stealing my virginity, and the next day I tried to kill myself because everyone except my parents and my best friend and only friend believed me, and I got called a whore and worse things everywhere I went, and you know how Portland is" Beca said "The truth is not long after I had to leave a history class because my belly felt on fire, and my teachers, despite my excellent reputation as non-liar and perfect model student, didn't believe I was in real pain until I was bleeding heavily on the floor. The truth is that day, because of the amount of stress your son was causing me, I had a miscarriage, and I lost your grandchild. And when their dad heard, he convinced my whole town I was a horrible person who raped him and then refused to give him his child. The truth is I was, by a judge, declared a disgusting liar and your son never paid, and years later he dared to come and find me, your husband came threatening me to my house, and I, the one who never put a hand on him, was declared a killer, and a horrible person for the way he was killed. The truth is you, and the whole world believed it and I had the fastest sentence ever, and if it wasn't because my lawyer is damn excellent and hired a private detective, because police wasn't interested on finding the real killer and saving my ass, I would have died, and not painless because the damn drug that is supposed to knock you out? Well, they didn't give it time enough to work. And my parents would've lost their only child in a horrible way. The truth is, I wish, I damn wish I had done something to your kid, even murdering him, why not? Because he deserved it, but I didn't, I didn't even slap him, and you know why?"

"Why?" the woman asked sniffling.

"Because I'm a good person who very bad things have happened to" Beca stated with tears of anger in her eyes but her voice firm "I'm a good human being who will have to stand even more crap after leaving this hospital, but who's almost used to it, because I've stand it for nineteen years. By the way, my nineteenth birthday? I was raped by a cop. And many other days, but on my birthday, that happened, and I also lost my privilege to have an our out of my cell that day so I spend my entire birthday in my tiny, dark, cold cell in death row. So don't try making me feel sorry for anybody of your family."

"I'm s-sorry…" the woman started "I-I don't know what to do…" she cried.

"You should be sorry, because you believed it. I'm as old as your child, do I look like a bad person for something that isn't Aspergers' related?" the woman stared at her and shook her head.

"No. You look like a good person." She sniffled.

"Of course I do, that's who I am. So I'll tell you a little truth more. I feel sorry and sad for you, and I understand you. I don't think you raised your son bad, I think whatever happened for him to be that bad, was out of your control. I'm sorry you believed the love of your life to be a good person, and to say I wasn't, but I understand, because see that ginger there?" she pointed to Chloe "She's the love of my life. And I would believe anything she told me blindly no matter what, even if it sounded ridiculous. The only thing you did wrong was be a horrible person saying horrible things about a kid, and if you're sorry for it" the woman nodded eagerly "I forgive you. I don't have hate for you. So now pack your bags and travel the world or something, but stay away of your husband. He may be the love of your life, but you still have life to live, and the best you can do is look after you for once in your life. Look for help. But don't come to me ever again, because I can't keep crashing against the ghosts of my past. Understood?" the woman sobbed a bit, but nodded. Beca sighed and curved her lips into the tiniest of smiles "Come here." She hugged tightly the woman, and let her cry on her shoulder for some time while rubbing her back and whispering the only soothing words that would come to her mind. After some time, the woman pulled apart.

"You're an excellent person" she whispered.

"Thanks."

"I wish you all the best."

"Me too." With that, the woman left and Beca closed the door and sighed deeply before turning around. Chloe took her hand and they both sat on the side of the bed.

"I would've slapped her at least" Fat Amy commented, and Beca shook her head.

"No, I won't be who they want me to be, I won't put myself at their level" Beca replied "Prison already stole six months of my life, I won't let it steal who I am and change me. That's not going to happen." She took her laptop and opened it on her knees.

"I don't recommend you going on Social Networks" Dylan said.

"I don't have them" Beca replied "I just want to see if my mixes are still safe" she smiled seeing them "yes they are."

"Everything is right how you left it in your bedroom" Jessica said "We only came in to pass the feather duster and the mop."

"Thanks" Beca smiled thankful at her over the laptop.

"By the way Bec" her dad said "you don't have your dorm anymore, so I left at Chloe and Aubrey's flat the few stuff you had left there."

"Okay, I'll take care of all of it. Jesse, do you know if Luke still hates me? I've lost my job so…" she shrugged looking at Jesse.

"I don't know, but he did say some rough stuff when you were in prison, so… I wouldn't go back even if he regretted it. But you can come to the music store!"

"Thanks, but stores aren't my thing really. It's okay, I'll find something else. There has to be someone willing to take an ex-convict."

"It has to do something that you were declared innocent right?" Anna asked.

"The fact that a judge suddenly changes his mind doesn't mean society will. They can and will think whatever, and they are not very likely to regret their thoughts and words because people hates regretting what they said, even more if those were really harsh things" William explained, and Beca nodded.

"Exactly" Beca said "But it'll be fine, I didn't even like the radio station that much. Hey Chlo, have you seen this? I left these mixes here for the Bellas just in case… well, in case I was sentenced really bad like it happened and you guys needed them." She pointed to the screen of her laptop and Chloe looked and smiled a bit.

"I hadn't. When did you even make them?" Chloe said.

"Well I do mixes all the time don't I? We hadn't need these so I never gave them away, and saved them here. Now I remember, you didn't say a thing about Nationals! They were in July!"

"It's okay, we didn't go" Aubrey said.

"What?" Beca looked at her astonished "Why? Were you out of our minds?"

"No, we actually thought about it quite a lot" Cynthia said.

"It didn't make sense Beca, we couldn't barely focus enough, we didn't have you and we didn't know you had left music ready so we didn't have that either, Aubrey and I were really busy after graduation with all the finding a flat, finding jobs or getting into Emory, and nobody really felt like singing and dancing precisely. We talked about it, decided to let it go. The Trebles won though, so it wasn't that bad." Chloe explained.

"Come on Chloe, don't give me shitty excuses. It was Aubrey's and your last year, you deserved a winning" Beca said "we worked so hard for it, I would've been thrilled."

"Well then you go win them this year Beca. Aubrey and I talked lots about it and we didn't care, we didn't want to do it, we were too tired, and too sad to do that, we all preferred investing our time in trying to find the one who put you in prison." Chloe argued.

Lilly gasped.

"We didn't give Beca her birthday presents!"

"My what?" Beca asked.

"Oh yeah!" Chloe grinned "Your birthday presents silly, wouldn't you think we forgot right? We have them, just that like prison had that strict policy of not giving you anything, and we were so worried about you we forgot about them, but we have them all."

"You guys could do a party in your flat and celebrate the flat and Beca's liberation and birthday all at once" Sophie Hudson, Beca's mom, suggested.

"Yeah!" Stacie nodded, and Aubrey grinned.

"You bought me presents?" Beca stared at Chloe surprised.

"Of course silly, what did you expect from your girlfriend?" Chloe smiled.

"W-Well, I don't…" Beca shrugged "You didn't have to, I wasn't even supposed to get out of there to have my presents."

"We are optimist people" Jessica said with a tiny smile "Plus, we could look around your room and, we didn't touch a thing, but we saw what you had, what you didn't, and made pretty good presents."

"Thanks guys" Beca smiled moved "Oh and Chlo?"

"Yeah."

"I haven't forgotten about anything we said we would do if I ever got out of prison."

"Me neither, and I still support all of it when you're up to it."

"I'll find the right time…" Beca winked and yawned.

"Okay, to sleep, now" Chloe ordered pointing to the bed "you'll play later" she took the laptop back to its bag.

"You're bossy" Beca murmured and Chloe giggled.

"Next time you sleep until noon and save me the pleasure of making you take a decent nap" Chloe got up from the bed so Beca could get into it.

"My brain doesn't like sleeping much. Keeps me from doing better stuff" Beca pouted while getting comfortable.

"Oh honey, when you're a senior, you won't want to do anything else than sleeping, trust me" Chloe giggled putting the covers up to Beca's chin and giving her a kiss on the forehead "Sleep, you'll thank me later. I'll wake you up for dinner."

Not even an entire hour had gone by when Chloe realized Beca was having trouble in her dreams, she was always a very quiet sleeper –she had lost count of how many times she woke up next to an sleeping Beca and found her sleeping in the exact same position as she fell asleep while Chloe had moved a lot- but now, her face was tensed up, with a tiny frown, her mouth was letting go some low noises of discomfort, and her legs and arms were moving a bit, like a swimming frog. Chloe moved closer to her stroking her cheek softly.

"I think Beca's having a nightmare" Chloe informed.

"It is said that it's better not to wake people up when they're having a nightmare" Aubrey said.

Chloe leaned towards Beca supporting herself on the mattress by putting a hand on the other side of Beca's torso, and with her free hands, she tenderly caressed Beca's face. The brunette's frown only increased and soon she was making louder sounds of utterly discomfort, like breathing heavily through the nose, or moaning a bit, she moved mover heavily, and a drop of sweat fell down her temple.

"Bec, babe, it's alright, it's just a nightmare. Tell them to go away" Chloe whispered on her ear "Tell them your girlfriend is going to kick their asses if they bother you anymore."

But Beca kept making sounds of distress and anguish, to the point she started sobbing, and asking for help in whispers, and to tell whoever it was to leave her alone.

"I can't wake her up" Chloe said looking to Sophie. The others had surrounded the bed to see what was going on, and Chloe had been trying to wake up the girl. Beca's mother nodded and took Beca's dancing hand, that gripped her mother's strongly.

"Come on Bec, time to wake up!" the mother commanded.

Afraid that Beca would have trouble breathing, Chloe carefully substituted her nasal cannula for her oxygen mask, that gave higher levels of oxygen, and right when she did it, Beca sat up screaming –which was muffled because of the mask- and Chloe hugged her tightly as the tiny brunette cried her eyes out on her shoulder, very upset, while hugging Chloe as tightly as she physically could. Chloe had a hand entangled on Beca's hair on her head, and the other on her back, and she turned her face a bit to the side so she could talk to her on her ear.

"It's okay Beca, I've got you, you're safe, you're safe" the ginger whispered on her girlfriend's ear. The others dispersed to give them some privacy, and Beca kept crying on Chloe's for a while, and when she finally stopped, Chloe kept hugging her tenderly as the younger girl sobbed and sniffled quietly. Chloe moved for a moment to put Beca her cannula back, now that she was breathing better, and stroke her cheeks between her hands, kissing her a bit before letting Beca snuggle against her chest again, like a toddler, Chloe having already sat on the bed with her bare feet on it and Beca snuggled between her legs, while Chloe rocked her a bit with her chin on Beca's head, a hand on her cheek, and her other arm hugging her body against her.

"You can't protect me in my dreams" Beca whispered hoarsely.

"Then I will be there to make them go away" Chloe replied "I love you Beca. I'm in love with you."

"Just hold me" Beca asked "Just hold me."

So Chloe held her like if she was her toddler. She held her for an hour and a half, nonstop, until dinner came and Beca decided she needed something in her stomach, or she would never leave the hospital, but even then, Chloe sat right beside her stroking her back or kissing her shoulder.

"What's that?" Chloe asked Beca later that night, as they laid snuggled on Beca's bed, illuminated only with the bedside table's lamp that Beca refused to turn off at night, and they were doing shadows on the ceiling with their hands in the air.

"It's a crocodile" Beca explained moving her hand, and then giggled "and it just had your bird for dinner" Chloe giggled too, putting her hands down, one arm under Beca, hugging her close, and the other stroking her torso. Beca dropped her hands too and snuggled into Chloe.

"I'm will marry you one day" Chloe whispered as they snuggled, alone in the room as the clock hit past one in the morning.

"I hope so" Beca whispered back "Although maybe not now. Maybe we should just be teens or young adults now, not plan a wedding when we don't even have our dream jobs, not planning our life as married people when we don't know what we'll want tomorrow."

"That's right" Chloe said "But whatever I'll want tomorrow, I'll be happier if it is with you."

"Me too" Beca smiled supporting on Chloe's chest and raising her head up just enough to look at Chloe's face and smile giving her a kiss on the cheek "You never told me how you did this, was it the accident?" Beca said passing a finger over a tiny scar on Chloe's forehead before going back to her place snuggled against Chloe's chest.

"No" Chloe kissed her temple "I was maybe six, and I was playing with Dylan, when I slipped and crashed my forehead against the edge of a table."

"Ouch!"

"Yeah, it hurt quite a lot, I fainted and my parents thought I had killed myself or that I would become stupid or something from brain damage. It was scary, but it turned out fine."

"Well, you are quite weird…" Beca joked and Chloe giggled.

"Come on, you should try to sleep" Chloe urged Beca stroking her hair "I'll be right here with you."

"But I don't want to sleep."

"You're tired."

"But I don't want to have another nightmare."

"Beca" Chloe moved to look at Beca's eyes "I know it sucks. I know you never get used to them. But you need to sleep, because your body needs its sleep, and yeah, maybe, just maybe, you will have a nightmare, but if that happens, I'll be here. You need to be a bit brave for it Beca, you need to rest."

"You think I'm not brave?" Beca said sitting up "because all I've been told for six months is to be brave, and I've fucking been brave Chloe, I've been the bravest…"

"I know, and you know I didn't mean it that way" Chloe stated "I know you're a really brave person, all I'm saying is that sleeping is going to require some of it too, and that I'm here for you whenever you need me."

"Well, I'm not going to sleep, because I don't want to go through it all again, I'm happy to have you here but, no offence, your presence here even if it is a comfort when I'm awake, does nothing when I'm not, and when I'm not, the ones that are with me aren't exactly The Simpsons" Beca laid again snuggling against Chloe, who just closed her eyes in silence. After awhile, Beca spoke again "Are you going to give me the silent treat now?"

"No" Chloe stated "but since you're so firm with refusing to sleep, I am going to sleep. I woke up at six today, so if you don't want to rest I respect it, but I can't stay awake twenty four hours."

"Fine" Beca said "But you can't turn the light off."

"Why?"

"What do you mean?"

"You told me you couldn't stand being in the darkness, I respect it and we'll have the light on, but why is it that you can't stand darkness?"

"Because" Beca said "my cell was really, really dark, and really, really cold. And darkness reminds me of it."

"Okay" Chloe nodded "Good night Beca."

"Can't you stay awake with me? Keep me entertained?"

"No, Beca" Chloe said "Look, I love you and you know I'll do anything for you, but I'm not gonna lose my sleep and damage my health to encourage you to do the same. I don't support your decision, I accept it, but that's all. I'm tired, you're tired, and you will end up falling asleep eventually, and I'll be here if you sleep bad, but I want to sleep now."

Beca rolled to the side of the bed and cuddled in a fetal position giving her back to Chloe, who stared at the back of her head. Then, Beca sobbed.

"You're just like all of them" Beca muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Chloe asked sitting up "Are you crying? Why are you crying?" Chloe put a hand on Beca's shoulder and Beca sat up rubbing her eyes.

"You say you love me but you're just like them! You judge me and get mad at me without even trying to understand me, and you punish me for being traumatized!"

"No, Beca" Chloe took Beca by the shoulders, and Beca looked away "Look at me. Beca, look at me or I swear to God I'll leave" she firmly said, after waiting a few second for Beca to look at her and seeing she was too stubborn. Beca finally looked at her, although reluctantly "Not for a second you dare to doubt my love for you, because if I didn't love you, I wouldn't be here, but at my comfy bed in my brand new apartment, sleeping soundly, but I'm here because I'm so in love with you I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing you are here all alone, and I don't even think I'll stand being without you next to me. I'm not like them, I'm like me, and if I was like them, then again, I wouldn't be here with you. I'm not punishing you, I'm here because I want to be with you, to enjoy your company, to hug you while sleeping, and help you through everything and beyond, and I do understand you. I slept bad for two months after I had the car crash, and before I fainted, I was awake in the car, and I remember every bit of it, and I'll cry on Aubrey for it, because I could see myself dying, or being in a much worse accident, or somebody close dying, and I couldn't get in a car. When you were in prison, all these months, I didn't sleep well once, the first time I've slept well since you were arrested was actually the other day when you woke up after weeks in coma, so I understand you, I do Beca" she stated energetically and Beca stared at her knees.

"Then why are you so insistent?" Beca whispered.

"Because I care! Aubrey was so insistent with me and it pissed me off, but you saw how I got when I wasn't sleeping properly and I had to add class stress, and headaches, and then I paid with all of you and felt horribly about it. That was worse than sleeping and having nightmares, because when I had them, yes, I fought my battles alone like we all do, but then I woke up and my best friend was doing her very best to make me feel better, and I did, and many times, I fell asleep again and didn't have a single bad dream, and other times, I had to sleep in Aubrey's bed, but I got better, and if I hadn't had at least the bit of rest I got, then imagine how bad things could've gotten" Chloe explained "I don't want to torture you, I want you to try and sleep, and I'm promising to be here and get you back to sleep to a nightmare free night. But if you don't want to… I really do need to sleep. I'm not trying to punish you, but I'm really tired Beca."

"Fine" Beca pushed Chloe against the bed and snuggled against her "We sleep."

"We sleep."

"I love you" Beca said, kissing Chloe's neck.

"I love you weirdo." Chloe kissed her head.

* * *

 **A/N: Have a great New Year's Eve!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hey people! Listen, my life is gonna be miserable until Feb 2, when my last exam is, so I won't be posting much. So I hope you have nice festivities, I will be getting my presents Jan 6** **th** **, because that's how it is in Spain according to our Wizard Kings tradition, but I guess you've been enjoying yours uh? Ahahah have fun! And I hope everybody is okay after all the festivities and the partying. I'm pretty Beca and didn't party much, but it's fine. Also, there is a problem in FF net and I can't see your reviews, so I will be replying the guest ones later since I have to read them one by one in my mail. Thing is I get in my email all the reviews, you know, letters saying I have a review and in the letter they put the review too, and then I go to the story and see the number is higher of reviews, so there has to be more, but then I click in reviews, and last ones I can see are from December 30** **th** **or so, and in all my fics is the same… I hope they fix it soon, but I doubt they've noticed.**

 **I hope you like this chapter.**

 **WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS QUITE AWESOME**

Chapter 17:

Beca went through her first week and a half at the hospital pretty well, but after that, she could feel herself starting to feel emotionally crappy. She was having nightmares nonstop, some were pretty weak, others really strong and bad, and although she always got Chloe to calm her down afterwards, even accepted sleeping pills from her doctor in an attempt to make it easier for her to sleep and, she still got to rest and, from time to time, have maybe a nap nightmares-free, she was starting to realize her nightmares didn't only bring her fear while sleeping, but reminded her of horrors from her whole life, with which she fretted about all day, being more absorbed in her own thoughts than anything else. And that only caused her to be sadder and more tired, as she spent the days thinking about her dreams and past bad experiences and wondering about what she could've done better, or just thinking how unfair those situations had been, or just feeling bad about them. However, she did her best to eat as much as her doctor recommended every time, because she really wanted to go back home, since being in the hospital, although it was much better than prison and the first days even felt like being in a luxurious hotel, ended up being depressed after more than a week there, walking through the same white walls, seeing the same ill people, and the same busy doctors.

"Beca" her father repeated for the third time, trying to catch her daughter's attention. She was sitting on one of the armchairs, with her elbow on the arm of the chair and her chin supported on her fist, looking absent-mindedly through the window but actually just focused on her own thoughts. With that third call, however, she blinked and turned her head towards her dad.

"Yes?" she inquired.

"I was asking if you'd like to go back to Maine for thanksgiving" he said patiently.

"Uh…" Beca thought about it for a second "No, I will stay here in Atlanta dad, thanks. I don't feel like going back home to a family that has been saying rough stuff about me and accusing me of being a monster." That replied, she went back to her original position, not caring much about anything else.

"Are you alright Beca?" Fat Amy asked. Beca hadn't focused on her thoughts again yet, so this time she responded quickly.

"Well I can't breathe perfectly yet but I'm fine" she replied. She then felt like being alone, so she stood up, and went to the bathroom, locking the door beside her.

She looked at herself in the mirror, and her finger traced the scar over her eyebrow slowly. She remembered the day she got it. She was in the fields that surrounded the prison and where one hour per day she got to spend some time, and an inmate, another woman because the prison was for women only, started talking to her rudely. She didn't remember what they exactly talked about, but she remembered the inmate being very pissed off at her, and then, she was punching her, kicking her… Beca's hands went to her t-shirt, and pulled it up just showing her flat stomach, and the now soft bruises that covered it. They had done that to her. The inmates, the guard who raped her, the judge who judged her wrong, the society who thought poorly of her for so long, most of them still did. They made her scars, the physical ones, and the ones that would stay in her brain, her heart, her insides. Then, she felt a mixture of great anger and sadness, and she sat on the ground for a bit. Its coldness and toughness didn't even bother her anymore.

Somebody knocked at the door.

"Beca?" it was Chloe "are you okay in there?"

"Yes" Beca said "Yes, I just… I'll be out in a sec." She opened the door and smiled at Chloe, who was standing there looking worried "Do you want to play chess?"

Ten minutes later, Chloe and Beca were sitting on the bed with the chess board between them, and Beca had already killed all of Chloe's pawns, and she still had all her pieces except for three pawns.

"If I move there… you kill my knight. If I move there and kill your bishop, you kill my queen." Chloe was thinking out loud, with her chin on her fist, looking attentively at the board.

"Don't torture yourself darling" Beca's mother said "my father taught her, and he's the only one that ever won against her."

"Until I won against him" Beca replied with a grin, looking at the headboard "Come on Chloe, just move."

"But this isn't fair, your IQ is much higher than mine" Chloe said "I'm your girlfriend, you should let me win."

"That's not how you learn" Beca shook her head "I lost exactly thirty six times against my grandfather before I won the first time, and then I never lost. The apprentice always surpasses the master."

"Does that mean I'll surpass you one day?"

"No" Beca giggled "Maybe my kid if I ever have one. But you can always beat me with dancing, I lack of physical coordination. Come on Chloe, move your queen there, I'm gonna teach you." She pointed the board.

"If I do, your king kills her!" Chloe said.

"No, if my king kills your queen, your bishop makes me checkmate, then I can't move there because your knight would make me checkmate too, and… well, it could last long until I killed all of your pieces, which I would end up doing because you don't have enough to be a big threat. But, if you move your queen, you make me checkmate, and push me to go back, which entertains me from doing the awesome move I was about to do" Beca explained in a moment. Chloe shrugged, and moved her queen, Beca moved back, and then Chloe found a clear opportunity to kill Beca's queen, and did it "Very good!"

"I left you without queen! I can't believe it!" Chloe was pretty excited "Are you going to let me win despite it all?"

"No, I'm gonna teach you how to beat me" Beca said "So you will win this match, if you're intelligent enough. It would be very boring if you ended up hating playing nerd games with me because I always win."

"Alright" Chloe smiled moving another piece "Let's make this more interesting. For each piece I capture, you tell me one thing that's been bugging you. Because I'm so bad at this game, you won't say much."

Beca eyed Chloe for a second, and nodded before capturing one of Chloe's knights.

"Okay. Move your queen or it's mine" Beca replied. Chloe moved and captured one of Beca's pawns "I've got Aspergers." She replied to Chloe's silent question, and the ginger nodded, so Beca moved.

"What do you want me to do when you capture one of my pieces?" Chloe asked.

"Uhm…" Beca shrugged "Nothing. You've done more than I could ever ask. Don't risk that pawn, it'll be useful."

They kept playing for a while and Chloe captured another pawn.

"So?" the ginger asked. Beca thought for a while, with her eyes fixed on the board.

"Every time I'm a victim, everyone manages to make me be the bad guy. And I find it very unfair." Chloe nodded. Chloe was still losing, but she managed to capture another one of Beca's pieces, now that she was more encouraged to do it "I was supposed to let people kill me twenty six days ago."

Despite Beca's advice, Chloe's lost was unavoidable, and when Beca declared checkmate, she smirked at the brunette and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. Later that night, they were alone again. Chloe was sitting in the sofa while Beca was lying on it, resting her head on a pillow on Chloe's lap, and supporting a Sudoku on her own knees as she focused on it. They had been in silence for a long time, each focused in their own things, Chloe was looking through a window, resting her left hand on Beca's hair, stroking it softly from time to time, while her right cheek was supported on her right hand's knuckles, as her right elbow rested on top of the back of the couch.

Visiting hours had finished around half an hour ago, after dinner, and now they were just enjoying their company silently. Chloe moved her eyes towards Beca's slight frown as the youngest of them wrote a cursive nine on one of the tiny squares of her Sudoku, and the ginger smiled slightly, satisfied with what her eyes saw. In moments so calm like that one, Beca was just another normal nineteen year old for her, although Chloe knew she had been a very different nineteen year old than what her girlfriend was now, back in the day. She could see the faint line over Beca's eyebrow, the shadow of infinite sadness and trouble deep inside those stormy blue eyes, and she knew life wasn't supposed to be that way on any girl like her.

"I love you" Chloe whispered then, without even thinking, her lips just moving out of the infinite love she felt towards that woman, not asking her brain for permission to state the obvious. Beca raised her eyebrows and her pupils moved towards Chloe's, at the same time her lips moved just a bit to form the tiniest smile.

"I love you too" Beca replied, and Chloe felt that Beca wasn't saying that because somewhere in one of her notebooks it was written that it was polite to say things back, but because she, like Chloe herself, felt the genuine need to say it, even if it wasn't any secret.

"Beca" gently, Chloe took the newspaper and the pen from Beca's hands and left them aside, to look at her girlfriend's eyes "I'm very sorry you've had to stand so much crap in your life, you know if there was something I could do to make your past any better, I would, but the only thing I can do is make your future better. That's all we can change. So, I just want you to know, that I'm here for you, forever, every time you need a warrior, or a person, or anything. I'm here, so count on me. You were alone, but you aren't alone anymore." Chloe said "And I can understand if you believe that nobody can know how it feels, and you're right, no one, even someone that had gone through the exact same things, can know or understand. But I'm willing to listen. If you need to ramble, to get angry, to cry or whatever, I'm willing to listen, and because I don't know how it feels, I won't judge you. I'll just… be there, okay?"

Beca took a moment to stare at her, trying to find in her eyes any hidden thing to suspect about, and when she didn't find it, she nodded.

"Okay" she replied in a simple whisper "But Chloe… All of that… all of everything you want to be to me, will you let me try and do the same for you? Even if I don't know how, or I'm dumb… Just don't allow yourself be the person who gives everything and never receives the same. I want to give you the same and even more. I want to." Chloe grinned and nodded, and Beca propelled herself up a bit with an arm, and moved her other hand to the back of Chloe's hand, making her lean to receive a kiss on the lips.

Chloe kissed her back enthusiastically, surrounding her tiny torso with both her arms and leaning forward to kiss her again, letting Beca surround her neck with an arm and caress her cheek with her other hand. They kissed for a while, until Beca, without saying a word, stood up, only to put her knees on the sofa on each side of Chloe's lap, take her face between her hands, moving it to face the ceiling, as Beca crashed her lips against Chloe's again, the ginger mane falling freely on the top of the back of the couch, and brown locks falling between Beca's back and one side of her face. Beca placed her butt on Chloe's thighs to be less tall, but she didn't stop kissing Chloe, whose arms now surrounded Beca's torso again.

Beca pulled apart from the kiss and moved Chloe's hair back and away from her face softly, as they both stared just looking at each other with desire, breathless.

"I heard you talk with Stacie" Beca whispered almost brushing her lips against hers "And… I do want to make love to you one day Chloe. But I don't know how, or when, only washing myself in the shower gives me PTSD already, and I just don't…"

"Shh" Chloe kissed her "Don't worry about it. You heard me say I wasn't rushing, right? So let's not rush it. Whenever it has to happen, it will happen. And it'll be okay." Beca smiled, and engaged each other in another kiss.

That morning, as Doctor Barlow examined Beca like every morning, Aubrey, Jesse and Chloe sat on the sofa staring at the curtain that kept them from seeing the examination take place. When the doctor moved the curtain away, as Beca put her t-shirt back in place, sitting in her bed, Chloe rose from her seat and smiled at Beca standing beside her as the doctor talked with her.

"Your lungs seem much, much better, although you better keep exercising them for a few more months" he was saying "Did you weighted yourself earlier?" Beca nodded.

"Fifty" she replied. The doctor smiled nodding and writing it down on the papers "That's good, right? Only two more to go, right?"

"Yeah, it's pretty good" he replied "Actually I'm thinking that maybe, you could go home today" Beca's eyes opened to the fullest, and Chloe grinned. Jesse and Aubrey were also standing next to the bed.

"Are you serious? I can go?" Beca asked in disbelief.

"Well, you no longer need help to breathe, you've caught the trick to the eating part, you're not in pain anymore, and your weight is almost normal, so if you take it easy, rest a lot, and keep things as calm as here, I don't see why you shouldn't be home" Doctor Barlow said with a smirk "After all, all you do here is rest and eat, you can do the same at home, and I'm trusting the fact that you have people to look after you and you won't live alone, so yeah, I can go for the release papers now, and if one of your friends cared to bring you some clothes, then you'll be free to go as soon as it's all done. Plus, the media won't have any idea and won't bother you."

"Yes" Beca smiled "Thanks, I swear I'll follow your instructions religiously, I just want to go home."

"I'll go get the paperwork done, I'll be back in forty minutes tops" the doctor smiled, and left.

"Yey!" Chloe grinned and kissed Beca "Congrats."

"Thanks" Beca smiled.

"I'll go bring your clothes and shoes" Jesse smiled daring to revolve Beca's hair "That's my girl!"

Halloween was close as Beca looked through the car's window on their way to the girl's flat in the center of Atlanta, and the girl couldn't avoid staring at the streets intently, seeing the Halloween ornaments. Aubrey parked the car in a tiny street with big trees covering the sidewalks, in front of an apartment that wasn't enormous and had four floors and a rooftop. The entrance was in front of one of those big trees, in a corner, beside a florist and, in the other side of the corner, a fish shop that had some fish tanks in the window display full with all kinds of fishes. The whole street seemed friendly.

"We have arrived" Chloe announced, and they stepped out of the car. Chloe pulled the keys out and opened a wooden door that was the entrance of the apartment, climbing a couple of steps, and they entered a tiny lobby with the mailboxes aside, and then the stairs and an elevator at the end of it. The elevator was big enough for five people to be comfortably, and once the four of them were inside, Aubrey pushed the button number four. Beca was staring at everything like a child as they stepped out of the elevator. The elevator's doors opened in front of the stairs, and there was a door at the left with the letter A, and another at the right with a letter B. They walked towards the A, and Aubrey opened it, revealing a large horizontal room. At their left were a TV, a coffee table, and a couple of sofas, and at its right, a large table for six. The entrance to a balcony was between both sides of the room. At their right was another door, and at its left, a kitchen with a kitchen island and all. The room was well decorated with some framed paintings -Beca recognized some made by Chloe- some bookshelves, plants, or some photographs.

"Awesome" Beca smiled looking around, and the others looked at her satisfied.

"Come, I'll show you the rest" Chloe said, taking Beca's hand. They went towards the door at their right, and Chloe opened it showing a small corridor that curved to their right more forward. Before they were at the corner, Chloe pointed to a door at their left "This is Aubrey's room" Beca nodded, and they kept walking, passing in front of a built-in closet at their right where Chloe showed Beca they kept their coats. Next to Aubrey's room, there was another room that Chloe told Beca could be used for guests, but now they had a tiny studio. There, Beca saw a couple desks, Aubrey's fuller of papers than Chloe's, and painting stuff, and photography stuff, and some other bookshelves, and Chloe told Beca she was free to use her desk, because she barely used it. In the corner, there was a bathroom, and then they turned to the right, and the other and very small part of the corridor, showed up with a door at the end of it. They walked towards that door, and Chloe opened "Our bedroom."

They were in a rectangular bedroom. In front of them was a big chest of drawers with a mirror on the wall on top of it, and to their left, there was a king size bed. Facing the left side of the bed, Beca could see a tiny balcony in front of her, in the other side of the bed, and she turned to her left to face another door, that Chloe told her was the bathroom, and had another chest of drawers next to it that Chloe said was at Beca's entire disposition, along with half a closet that that next to the balcony. The entire room seemed Chloe's, colorful, friendly, calm, and warm, and Beca loved every bit of it. She loved how there was a framed picture of them on top of Chloe's chest of drawers, and nothing on the wall on top of Beca's chest of drawers there was a big framed cork with some empty spaces, but also a bunch of photos of them, the Bellas, Chloe's family, and, -and Beca's stomach twisted with the realization- a photo of Beca and Jesse as toddlers with Beca's parents and her maternal grandparents. In that moment she realized Chloe had somehow acquired other photos of Beca and her family and were around the cork. Like, next to a photograph of a ginger baby, there was one of a brunette one, and next to a couple of tiny photos of Chloe's grandparents, there was one of Beca's paternal grandparents. Beca's keyboard was also next to the balcony, and not very far away there were some hangers on the wall and, apart from a scarf and Chloe's mortarboard, there was the pilot cap that belonged to Beca's grandfather.

"I maintained the same sides we had in your bed" Chloe commented pointing to the bed, and Beca saw what Chloe meant, that she had the right side of the bed, and Chloe the left one. And while Beca's bedside table only had a lamp, Chloe's had a lamp and two framed photos. Beca went to take a closer look at them, and saw that one of them was the photo of two girls dressed with their green graduation clothes and their mortarboards, hugging each other, the hug only slightly open to the camera, towards which both girls gave bittersweet smiles with tearful eyes, holding their diplomas with their free hands, and hugging each other with the other, their temples supported on each other's. One was Aubrey and the other, Chloe, and Beca smiled looking at them "We cried our eyes out that day, it was impossible to catch us without tears."

"Why?" Beca asked, not understanding why someone would cry for that.

"Many things. Knowing that you were in prison all that time, saying goodbye to all of our friends from class, the Bellas, our favorite teachers, the place we've been in for four years…" Chloe shrugged, standing behind Beca. Beca nodded leaving the photo again on the bedside table and took the other one. It was a photograph of Beca and Chloe. Beca was sitting on the sofa at the Bella's house, with her laptop on her knees, a smile starting to form of her face as she looked up to Chloe, who was standing beside her next to the sofa, leaning onto her, and she also seemed to be about to start laughing. Beca remembered that day, she had been doing a mix for the Bellas, and Chloe came to take a look, and then said something stupid on accident, Beca couldn't remember what, but they had started laughing hysterically because of it, from the second Chloe realized what she had just said. The other Bellas had been there too "I love that photo. Fat Amy took it with her phone to show the exact moment I realized I had said something really stupid, and the first night you were at the hospital, we were there and I was kind of really sad, so Fat Amy showed it to me to cheer me up. I hadn't seen it before, but I thought it was a great photo."

"It's a very good one" Beca smiled leaving it again at its place, and when she realized she had tears on her cheeks, she brushed them quickly and turned around to look at Chloe, who was staring at her with a tiny smile and weepy eyes.

"So, what do you think?" Chloe asked pointing around with her head "It's a bit tiny but…"

"I love it" Beca replied "And what I love the most is that it feels like home. You know, you can build the perfect house, but that won't make it feel like home. This one is perfect. It's home."

"Awesome" Chloe grinned "And it's your home you know, you can do whatever you want, change stuff, add stuff, anything."

"Good" Beca nodded, and wrapped Chloe in a tight hug "I'm sorry I missed six months of our lives. And your graduation, I would've loved to be there."

"It's okay" Chloe said hugging her back "I'm sorry you missed six months of your own life. But I'll be at your graduation, it'll be amazing."

"You think we'll still be together by then?"

"Sure" Chloe smiled pulling apart but keeping her arms around Beca "And even if we weren't, I wouldn't miss your graduation for anything in the world, that's a promise."

"Good" Beca grinned and then, there was a knock on the door, and Jesse peeked.

"Lunch is ready" he announced.

After lunch, Chloe wanted to show Beca something, so they went to her car, and Chloe started driving without saying where they were going.

"I work twenty minutes from home and I barely use my car, so you can take it whenever you want, the keys are in the hanger next to the entry's door" Chloe was saying "You don't even have to ask, if I need it, I'll let you know in advance. Also, almost all of your things are still in your bedroom at the Bella's house, so we'll go for them tomorrow morning if you're up for it. I just have your grandpa's pilot cap and some clothes and stuff you left at your dorm, and well, your laptop of course."

"Great" Beca nodded "this neighbor seems nice" she added looking through the window.

"It is, and we haven't had problems to find parking yet" Chloe added with a smirk.

"How's your job?" Beca asked.

"It's nice, what I do is mostly take some photos from time to time, even though that's mostly my boss' job, and I mostly do the computer stuff, editing, designing and all of that, because my boss is this old man that although he's very nice, he knows very little about those things" she said when a tiny smile "And he pays well enough, is not a lot of money, but pays the bills. Aubrey and I used to work at a coffee shop when we were students, but it doesn't pay enough and Aubrey can't even go with Emory now, so she's working for a teacher, because teachers there are doctors and sometimes hire students that are exceptional to help with their investigation and stuff. It doesn't pay much, but between that, my money and what we can borrow from the family, is okay."

"I'll find a job soon too, Chloe, I promise" Beca said.

"Don't worry Beca, you're nineteen, you'll have time to worry about money so for now, just worry about your marks." Chloe smiled at her "We're glad to have you back home."

"I'm glad to be back too" Beca smiled a bit "I see you've progressed a lot with the driving thing."

"Yeah, that was a tough thing to do" Chloe nodded "Aubrey helped a lot, but I got through some panic attacks, mostly when passing through that corner over there" they were driving through a big road that lead to the suburbs and to the student's houses and Barden father away, and there was a curve and a tree that was a bit damaged.

"That's where you crashed?" Beca asked, and Chloe nodded "Are you okay?"

"Now, yes. Before, this part made me nervous as shit. And I still don't drive when raining."

"Well, I think at least you get to drive more safely, which is always good" Beca said "Where are we going?"

"I told you, it's a surprise!" Chloe giggled "Let's park here" she said parking the car past the suburbs, near the woods. And then Beca realized where they were going.

They walked next to each other between the trees, following the sound of the stream, until they arrived to their place, where, like if nothing had changed, the same footbridge stood, and the ground was covered with brown leaves. Beca smiled with wet eyes looking around with her hands on her pockets. Everything was just the same, her intact refuge, unaware of everything that happened in the rest of the world. They removed their shoes and sat on a big rock by the bank, with their toes in the fresh water, and Chloe smiled at Beca.

"I've got something for you" Chloe said, fidgeting in her pocket, and pulled out a key-ring with four keys, one silver, another blue, another purple, and a tiny golden one. She put the keys on Beca's palm "The silver one is the entry to our apartment, tiny golden opens the mailbox, the blue one opens our door, and the purple one opens the lock of the upper part of the door, although we usually don't lock that one, unless the house is going to be empty for the whole day or something."

Beca nodded and put the keys into her pocket.

"Thanks Chlo" she thanked her, giving her a quick peck on the lips.

"Aren't I one hell of a girlfriend?" Chloe joked playfully elbowing her.

"You are" Beca laughed.

"By the way" Chloe started "everyone has been planning a party at the Bellas' house for tonight, to celebrate both your birthday and your welcome home, only the Bellas and the Trebles, plus my brother, but if you don't feel like it, I can call can cancel it. We had only planned a calm dinner, and some music, few drinks, but nothing too big, and there's the pool but I don't think anyone will dare to bath because at night it'll be cold" Chloe explained "And there'll be cake and presents."

Beca weighted her options for a moment. She usually hated parties, but they had worked so hard on this one apparently, and also it seemed like they had planned things as she liked them –quiet, calm, and with just her closest people- and she had missed all of them so much.

"It'll be nice" Beca nodded with a tiny smile "But I better have time for a nap before then, I don't want to be falling asleep anywhere." Chloe giggled and nodded.

"Don't worry, we have time. It will also end at midnight tops, we know you're supposed to rest" she added with a tiny smile "Also, you'll have the chance to meet the two new Bellas."

"Oh, there are new Bellas?" Beca asked.

"Of course, if not you wouldn't be able to compete anymore, you have to substitute Aubrey and I. But don't worry, you will like them, they're nice. By the way, you know we named Stacie and you the new captains, right?" Chloe said, and Beca raised her eyebrows in surprise.

"Me?"

"Yeah… we forgot to mention" Chloe whispered "Well, yeah, we thought it was a great dynamic duo, you, the official music composer of the Bellas, and Stacie, who knows how to dance. Just like Aubrey and I. Unless you don't want to…"

"What? No, yeah, of course I want to, I'm honored!" Beca grinned "I just… nobody ever choose me to lead anything. Are you sure it's not a mistake?"

"I'm sure" Chloe grinned "Without you we wouldn't be what we are today, it's only fair. Plus, since Stacie is very much the party, super social, girl, you'll complement each other and she'll help you out. And she's also crazy good student, what proves she's intelligent enough and will know how to deal with anything that comes up. Aubrey and I took a very long time to decide it, but at the end it seemed the obvious decision." Beca nodded "Now that we're here, maybe we should visit the Bellas' house and get you some clothes and pajamas, right? Just the basics for tonight and the rest we'll pick it up in the morning."

"Yeah, that's a good idea" Beca looked at her watch "but we should keep going. I'm starting to get tired." Chloe nodded and stood up, giving Beca a hand to get up.

At the Bellas' house there were only Fat Amy and Emily, who told them the rest were at class and other stuff, and Beca went up to her bedroom to pack a bag while Chloe stayed in the living with the others. Beca's room was just like she remembered, and she smiled in a bittersweet way walking around the tiny room where she had so many good memories. She would miss sleeping with the stars over her head, that she probably could barely see from their apartment because it was more in the city. She packed a bag with clothes for that night and the following day, a pajama, and some shoes, and then she took another one for her bathroom stuff, and some other things –like her figures of planes- that she wouldn't risk losing. Then, she went back downstairs and Chloe and her left.

Back at their apartment, Beca was already more asleep than awake as Chloe, with her hands on her shoulders, guided her to the bed before Beca crashed against a wall, and once in the bed, Beca slumped in her side of it, and fell asleep seconds later. She woke up two hours and a half later, and saw Chloe had covered her with a blanket and removed her shoes. She stirred on the bed and put some slippers on before dragging her sleepy self to the living room. There, she found Chloe and Aubrey each lying on one sofa with blankets over them, chatting quietly with empty mugs on the coffee table. Beca walked to Chloe's sofa and sat putting her feet on her lap.

"Hello, sleeping beauty" Chloe smiled sleepily at her "How was that nap?"

"Good" Beca looked at them "Are you sure you two will be able to stay awake tonight?"

"We just woke up from a nap too" Aubrey said yawning and sitting up "A shower and we'll be new."

"Where's Jesse?" Beca asked.

"Work" Aubrey replied "He'll go straight to the party from there."

"Is his job very far away?" Beca asked curious.

"Is in the center, fifteen minutes driving if there's not a lot of traffic" Aubrey replied "Do you want to go?"

"No, it was just curiosity" Beca replied "I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready."

"Okay" Chloe nodded "I'm gonna shower in the other bathroom so take all the time you want."

Beca was so thankful to make up that afternoon for covering her hospital face, but even if she was quite nice by the time she stood in the living waiting for the others, she had no words to describe Chloe. She was just stunning, and still she kept it simple.

They arrived at the house and found out Jesse had arrived just a couple minutes before. The Bellas' house was already filled with almost everyone, and there were tables here and there with some snacks, and they had prepared dinner to be in the back garden, which was illuminated with candles here and there, and there was some good, but low, music.

"Beca, let me present you our new Bellas" Stacie said walking with Beca towards two girls that were standing with Flo and Emily chatting. One was as short as Beca, and the other was just a bit shorter than Stacie. She tallest of the girls had a long, curly, black hair, with brown eyes, and looked nice. The smaller one was blonde, with green eyes, and paler skin, and was less sexy, although she was still pretty "Girls, this is Beca Mitchell, Beca, these are Kelley Alexander" she pointed to the smaller one "and Maddie Daniels."

"Nice to meet you" Beca said with a polite smile shaking their hands.

"Finally" Maddie smiled "We've heard a lot about you."

"All good things" Kelley added, and winked, although Beca didn't know why.

"Guys, dinner's ready!" Aubrey announced.

They all went to the couple tables that they had put together forming one big rectangular table. Beca sat between Chloe and Fat Amy, and raised her eyebrows admiring the food that was everywhere around the table, but before she could attack it, Jesse stood up to do a toast, and he raised his cup towards Beca with a huge grin.

"Happy birthday Beca!" was the first thing he said, and she smiled "And welcome home! We're sorry we couldn't be there the actual day, and we're so, very happy you're back home with us and that we can celebrate today, better late than ever. By the way, you missed my birthday so I'm expecting a present" he joked, which Beca knew because growing together, Jesse was no mystery for her.

"I've got a present you know?" Beca commented.

"Really?" Jesse raised his eyebrows surprised "Good" he smiled satisfied "Well, I just wanted to say, since I've known you forever… I'm glad justice was made, at least part of it, because I spend six times swearing on my grandparents' graves that you wouldn't kill a fly… actually, you slapped me on the back of my head once because I killed one" there were some giggles "We are so lucky to have you Bec, so let's thank your parents for that wild night of November!" Beca blushed and some giggled "And well… To Beca. My bestest friend in the whole world, my sister, and my heroine. For many more birthdays to come." he raised his cup, the others imitated him, and they all toasted.

The dinner was great for Beca, who barely had to talk, but enjoyed hearing about the Bellas' lives that she had been so out of for months. After dinner, they brought a giant cake with nineteen candles that Beca blew all at once, and when she thought she was starting to feel uncomfortable by the amount of people, Chloe put her scarf around Beca's eyes and whispered in her ear it was time for the presents, so they stood up, and the others followed them into the house, and Beca forgot about her social issues. When the scarf was removed, she found herself face to face with a table that had such a mountain of presents, it formed a small pyramid. Beca's mouth opened, and her eyes almost fell from her face, being so opened.

"This is all for me?" Beca asked, and Chloe nodded with a huge grin "But… this is a lot guys."

"I told them you had never had more than three or four gifts and that seemed to encourage them more" Jesse commented.

"There are twenty two, I counted them myself" Aubrey said proudly. Beca moved her hands to her mouth, utterly amazed, and walked slowly to the table. Each present had a card that sometimes had just the name of the one that gave the present and other times it had a sweet message that made Beca be in the verge of tears all the time, and some presents were from just one person and others from several. Beca was so amazed she made an effort to open and admire each present, taking her own time, and even gave a very quick hug to the one or the ones that had made or bought the present. Jesse gave her a book she had been wanting for several months but got into prison before she could buy it and then forgot about it, between the Bellas' presents were CDs, new and quite expensive headphones –her own had been failing for quite some weeks, and had many years-, a digital camera, a basket with chocolate stuff, and a leather bracelet, and there were many other great things. But anything from Chloe.

"Guys, I don't even know what to say" Beca said when she finalized opening presents "It's amazing, thank you."

"And you have yet to open mine" Chloe added "I wanted to be the last one" she added with a wink, and from her purse, she took a big package with a square shape, and gave it to Beca.

"Oh, another book? I'm gonna be too entertained for my own good" Beca smiled unwrapping the book. It was a huge book, like a huge bible or something, and Beca had to sit to see it well on her lap, Chloe sitting beside her. The book looked elegant and quite expensive, and had no title. Beca opened it and, on the first page, she read Chloe's handwriting _Your year nº19_ "I thought it would be a shame if you ended up only remembering bad stuff for the last year, so I… well, turn the page.

In the next page, Chloe had written a small dedication, dated on her birthday, August 9th.

 _Happy 19_ _th_ _Birthday love!_

 _A day like today, nineteen years ago, a young couple welcomed to the world my soul-mate, my best friend, and the one person who made me realize I was capable of loving much more than I could have ever imagined, and I'm forever thankful to the universe and all its stars for putting her, putting you, into my life, Rebeca Mitchell._

 _Although the last few months of your life have been the crappiest, I know this year has had many amazing things, and I wanted to make sure you never forgot every bit of it, and also give you a little something you could go back to whenever you needed a reminder of how much better things can always get. This year you gave a bunch of people the privilege of having you as a friend, and you have a great place in all of our hearts, wherever we go. May next year be even better, greater, and fuller of love for you, who deserve it the most._

 _I love you now and forever,_

 _Chloe._

Beca smiled blinking away the tears, and turned the page. Of course, the first photograph was of Barden. The Bellas, Atlanta, her refuge in the woods, the Bellas' house, the radio station, her friends… she stopped the most time at each photo of Chloe and her. Despite Beca didn't quite understand why people would take photos of themselves, and she didn't particularly like posing, but she discovered people had actually taken many photos of her. Like she found out, somebody had made an amazing photograph of the first time Beca and Chloe kissed as an official couple, the day of the ginger's birthday, or there was also a photo of the couple sleeping snuggled on Beca's bed, or one of them studying in the kitchen.

Later that night, Beca got out of the bathroom in her pajamas to find Chloe already in bed, reading. The ginger left the book, and turned her lamp off, while Beca's was on just as she liked it, and smiled at Chloe tapping the bed beside her. Beca smirked and joined her in the comfortable bed, and they both laid in their side contemplating each other.

"Have you done your lung exercises?" Chloe asked removing a dot from Beca's nose tenderly.

"Yes" Beca nodded.

"Did you have a good time?"

"An awesome one" Beca replied.

"Good" Chloe smiled "Sleep tight babe, I love you." Chloe said giving her a peck on the forehead and then cuddling in fetal position. Beca contemplated her for a moment, and smiled a bit. She looked so peaceful and beautiful.

"I love you too" Beca whispered, lying on her back and contemplating the ceiling until her eyes closed.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: So today is The Wizard Kings here in Spain! It's our tradition for giving gifts, since we don't traditionally do it in Christmas –although some people are doing it lately, which I depreciate because it's spoiling children, the economic situation is bad for everyone, and children stop learning to appreciate gifs- and I thought I may as well give you new chapters as presents so enjoy! According to our tradition, the three wizards that gave Jesus the gifts when he was born, come all the way from there to our country and leave presents in the houses what would be last night so today 6** **th** **in the morning everybody can open them. Mine are being quite good, actually, things that I wanted. Some stuff for the hair like conditioner, a beautiful new warm scarf, that I didn't really need but… well, it went with what I had been wanting to buy for years but never found the one I liked, which is a winter cap, it's super warm, and it's a bit like a French bonnet, so I look a little bit like a mushroom! Hahahah Later I'll go get another couple presents, the last ones I'll have, at my parent's best friends. I still need to buy everybody stuff, which I will next week because I've been so busy and when I intended to go earlier this week I wasn't feeling too great and stayed at home studying** **I didn't went to the Wizard Kings parade last night either because I'm kind of scared with my exams, but it's a beautiful parade with floats of the kings, Disney characters, and movie characters, and things for the kids, and they throw candy! (which sometimes can be painful).**

 **What did you guys get in Christmas/Wizard Kings/Hanukkah/Others?**

 **About this chapter, is bittersweet I'd say!**

Chapter 18:

When Beca woke up, she found a note on her bedside table from Chloe, saying Aubrey and her were at work and Emory respectively and wouldn't be back until one, so Beca was alone. Since she was going to wait until next week to get her ass back in class, she decided to get ready and go on a walk. It was Friday, and the streets were quite empty for what the neighbor seemed to be, that was more like the opposite. Beca bought some stuff for lunch, and devoted herself to prepare a nice lunch, thinking it was the least she could do. She also took Chloe's car and went to pick all her stuff from the Bella's house.

"Good morning" Chloe greeted her as Aubrey and her entered the living room and went to the kitchen part "That smells damn amazing."

"True" Aubrey came "How did you sleep?"

"Very well thank you. How were classes and work?" Beca said after tiptoeing to kiss Chloe.

The girls told her everything about their mornings during lunch, and Beca listened with genuine interest, feeling curious about everything they had to say.

"Almost forgot" Aubrey said gulping her food "I'm going to dinner with some friends tonight, don't wait up for me."

"Why would we…?" Beca started asking but Chloe interrupted with a smile.

"Okay" the ginger replied "Is Jesse going with you?"

"No, I'm going with my classmates" Aubrey said "We decided to party a bit at the apartment that some of them share to get to know each other better before the exams start and we don't have time."

"Have a good time then" Beca said "So, do we have any plans for Halloween?"

"Whatever you want" Chloe said "Aubrey and I were just thinking on staying in, invite Jesse, and watch scary movies all night, plus buying a bunch of candy for the kids if they come. If not, we can eat them alone."

"It seems like a good plan" Beca nodded satisfied "I went to pick all my things up before, and after lunch I'm going to the gym."

"The gym?" Chloe frowned "I don't think that fits in the resting part, what about your lungs?"

"I'm not gonna push myself too far" Beca said "Really. Maybe swimming or something, but I feel zero in shape. Not that I did great things before, but I used to do jogging and cardio and now…" she shrugged and Chloe nodded.

"Alright, I'll go with you just to make sure you're not alone if you don't feel well" Chloe said.

So, as they said, that afternoon the couple dressed in their gym clothes and put bathing suits and towels in a bag before heading downtown by foot. Once they were there, they warmed up a bit and decided to start with some boxing, turning to hold the boxing sack while the other punched it. After that, they went for some jogging on the electric path and Beca soon felt drained and waited for Chloe patiently while encouraging her. Then, they headed to the acclimatized swimming pool.

"God, this feels nice" Beca said, her face coming out of the water and her arms extending to reach the edge of the pool and supporting herself there. Chloe was standing with her back against the side of the pool and her elbows on the edge, and smirked looking at Beca.

"You look kind of sexy" Chloe said, and Beca looked down at herself.

"I'm too thin" Beca said.

"Yeah, but you look much better than in the hospital, or in prison for that matter" Chloe opined. The redhead was wearing a bikini, while the brunette was wearing a swimsuit "So, did you sleep well?"

"Yes" Beca nodded "Didn't sleep that well in ages actually. Although I would've liked if you woke me up before going." Chloe giggled.

"I did!"

"What?"

"I woke you up honey, but you were too sleepy. I told you I was going to work and you barely opened your eyes and murmured something like okay, so I kissed you, left a note, and left." Chloe smiled at Beca's baffled expression.

"Oh" Beca nodded "That makes sense. Hey, and how is it that you missed work so much when I was at the hospital?"

"Because when you were in prison I made so many extra hours I could take a month of holidays if I wanted" Chloe explained "Work kept my mind busy and kept me from lying in bed crying because of how much I wanted you out of prison." Beca nodded.

"Did I tell you I've found a job?" Beca asked and Chloe raised her eyebrows and smiled a bit.

"Really? What job?"

"In one book store a few streets away from home, next to that grocery store that's so small" Chloe nodded "I walked in front of it this morning and saw they needed an assistant, and it pays well, and the schedules aren't so bad. I've got weekends free, and I only have to work from three to nine, is awesome."

"I know the place, is a nice one" Chloe nodded.

"And my Aspie side will be very happy there" Beca added.

"What about your DJ side? The job has nothing to do with music" Chloe said.

"I know" Beca nodded "It's only temporary, it's a miracle they didn't care I was Rebeca Mitchell, Chloe, and still hired me. When I find something better and music related I'll take it, but for now is what there is."

"As long as you like it, is all that matters" Chloe said leaning to give her a peck on the lips "But now that you mention Aspergers, I've noticed you've been more touchy than ever."

Beca imitated Chloe's position beside her, letting her legs float in the surface of the water, thoughtful.

"I know" Beca said "I just… I don't know. I guess it has more to do with being in a maximum security prison one hundred eighty five days than with Aspergers curing or something. I was so lonely sometimes my voice surprised me from how little used I was to hearing it. You can't even start to imagine how things are like there, Chloe."

"Then tell me" Chloe said tenderly, kissing her wet shoulder. Beca sighed and kept being in silence for a bit more until she decided to speak.

"My cell was as tiny as our bathroom, my bed, if it can be called bed, was a metallic table with a thin mattress and a sheet, my pillow was thin and smelled weird, the whole cell smelled weird, like humidity, dirtiness and pee. There was only one tiny window, that was more like a whole on the wall with bars, and it was so small and so high that I could never see through it, and sun barely got into the cell. And then there was a dirty sink, whose water tasted like the pipes hadn't seen a plumber in ages, and the WC was too small and dirty." Beca explained "It was incredibly cold all the time, and the door was really solid and had no windows or anything, only a tiny window that would open sometimes level with the floor to let some bad, disgusting food in, that I tried not to eat. And the gardens were more like a dessert with wired fences" Beca breathed deeply and Chloe moved to be in front of Beca, with her arms in each side of Beca and supported on the edge of the pool, and her chin resting on Beca's shoulder.

"I can't believe people allow those places to exist."

"Me neither" Beca whispered "I just, even if many times I feel like being quiet on my own and not to have people touch me, at the same time I feel like I miss being treated like some sort of human, and loved, and wanted. All at once I can feel like being lonely and also like I can't stand being alone. You have no idea how much and how often I got to miss everyone's hugs and affection that used to make me feel so uncomfortable before. If colds, bronchitis, gastroenteritis, or other stomach bugs, are already bad when you have someone to take care of you, imagine when being all alone in a place like that."

"I can't" Chloe whispered "I don't have such a good imagination. I'm very sorry you had to go through so much hell, babe." Her arms surrounded Beca's hips and she kissed her cheek "I won't let anything like that happen to you ever again, I swear."

"Don't swear what you can't Chlo" Beca said "Things like that one were unavoidable, unless I had ran away, which I would never do" she said enjoying Chloe's closeness.

"How do you feel?" Chloe asked after awhile. Beca shook her head.

"I don't know. I think I'm mostly incredibly angry and frustrated, and I think it's all so unfair… and when it all comes together, I feel like a big knot and also emptiness inside. Like crying, but also like I'm too tired to do so." Beca tried to explain the best way she could. Chloe nodded.

"Let's go home Beca, let's go and just snuggle and forget about the rest of this stupid world."

Aubrey had already left when they arrived home, so they had dinner and then they enjoyed their mutual company cuddled in the sofa. Beca had fallen asleep lying on her side while Chloe laid her chest against Beca's back, and her back against the back of the sofa, and was tracing patterns over Beca's body, the very first reason for Beca to fall asleep. Then, Chloe heard the lock being unlocked and the door open and close. She moved to look at the door and saw Aubrey, very nicely dressed, coming in after locking the door again.

"Aubrey, what are you doing here so early?" Chloe whispered. Aubrey looked up to her and smiled tiredly, going to sit in the occupied sofa, on the verge of it.

"I know, I was so tired Chloe, after the whole week…" Aubrey shrugged "But it was nice though" she pointed to Beca "Is the hobbit asleep?"

"Yeah" Chloe was supporting her head on her hand and her elbow on the cushion Beca and her had been using as a pillow. Chloe's other hand rested on Beca as the ginger leaned to kiss her girlfriend's temple "We had an early dinner and watched a bad movie, Beca was asleep in less than fifteen minutes" she added with a smirk.

"Great" Aubrey pulled the girls' blanket in a better position so it would cover Beca's feet properly "So how was the afternoon?"

"Nice" Chloe replied "Beca talked with me about prison."

"Oh" Aubrey nodded "I assume the destitution of its owner wasn't without a reason."

"The guy who ran that prison should be dead Aubrey, honestly" Chloe said "It's just disgusting, it's wordless."

Then Beca started struggling in her sleep, and the two girls paid close attention to her until Beca suddenly screamed and sat up very abruptly, and before neither of the other girls could react, Beca was strangling Aubrey with such strength, her knuckles were white.

"Beca!" Chloe yelled sitting up "What the hell?!" she saw Beca's face and understood. Beca wasn't awake, even if her eyes were open and watery, full of anger and, mostly, fear. Aubrey was trying desperately to breathe, and although she was gripping and slapping Beca's hands, leaving scratches on them, wasn't enough, and in a matter of seconds Aubrey lacked oxygen enough to keep putting up a fight. Meanwhile, Chloe was trying to get Beca away from Aubrey or open her hands, but unsuccessfully "Beca! it's Aubrey, it's Aubrey, you're choking her!" Chloe pinched Beca's boob strongly, and Beca yelped and moved her hands to her boob, waking up suddenly.

"Ouch! What the…?!" Beca rubbed her boob over the clothes tenderly, frowning, and then looked up and saw Aubrey coughing and rubbing her neck while Chloe asked if she was okay and palmed her back tenderly. Beca remembered her dream, saw her hands reddish and scratched, and everything clicked in her mind, moving her hands to cover her mouth with wide eyes "Oh my…" she looked horrified of herself.

"Beca, bring a glass of water please" Chloe asked her, knelt on the sofa with a hand on Aubrey's back and the other on one of her arms.

Beca practically jumped from the sofa, took a glass of water, and brought it to Aubrey, who wasn't coughing so much anymore, and had more color in her face.

"Ouch" Aubrey muttered rubbing her sore neck.

"Thanks" Chloe took the glass and handed it to Aubrey, who took a gulp. Meanwhile, Chloe looked at Beca "Are you okay, did I pinch your nipple too hard?"

"It's okay, the bra protected most of it… God Aubrey, I'm incredibly sorry, I wasn't awake, I'm sorry" Beca said anguished.

"It's fine, I'm fine" Aubrey said with a raspy voice, and breathed deeply "What were you dreaming girl?"

"I…" Beca sat on the sofa, still looking anxiously at Aubrey "I dreamt with being beaten up, and I just fought back. I had no idea I was moving out of my dream."

"Are you both okay?" Chloe asked. Beca and Aubrey nodded "Good. Aubrey what can I do for you?"

"No need to do anything" Aubrey replied "I'm alright, really."

"Your neck is all red…" Beca said.

"It's fine, I'll put make up and a scarf tomorrow and nobody will notice" Aubrey said "At least now I don't have to worry about Beca's abilities in a fight. Who would've thought you were that strong."

"Pretty surprising, uh?" Chloe smiled "We hit the boxing sack today" she added when Aubrey looked worriedly at her thinking Beca had hit her or something.

"I'm sorry Aubrey" Beca repeated.

"Beca, it's fine, really, I'm good. Although you should check your hands… I'm a bit sorry for them too" Aubrey said, and Beca looked at her hands. They were reddish, and had scratches, some were just white lines, but others had blood.

"Oh" Beca shook her head "It's nothing." Aubrey then started laughing and looked at Chloe.

"What?" Chloe asked with a tiny smile.

"You seriously pinched her nipple? That was your best idea Chlo?" Aubrey said while laughing, and Chloe giggled.

"Don't judge my brain!" Chloe said playfully before hitting Aubrey with a cushion, but the blonde just laughed harder. Beca stood up quietly while the others made a cushion fight, and went to the bedroom.

She admired how the other girls could just brush that incident out like if nothing ever happened, but she couldn't. If Chloe hadn't been there, Aubrey could have been seriously injured, or dead. And even more, Beca didn't trust herself to sleep next to anybody anymore, what if she hurt Chloe? She opened the balcony of their bedroom, and went out, supporting her arms on the railing and her forehead on her hands. She breathed out soundly and looked up at the few stars she could see from there, and the street, that was pretty dark, but illuminated with street lights. She heard steps behind her and soon, Chloe was hugging her from behind.

"You shouldn't get this close, Chloe" Beca said "I'm dangerous."

"You, dangerous? Don't make me laugh" Chloe kissed her cheek "You're my girlfriend, you wouldn't hurt me."

"You don't know that" Beca argued "Look what I did to Aubrey!"

"Aubrey is alright…"

"Because you were there!"

"Beca" Chloe turned Beca to face her "You are a good person, you wouldn't hurt a fly. You had a nightmare, things got out of hand, and that can happen to anyone, and it had never happened here before, but it's fixed, don't torture yourself with what could have happened."

"What if I do this to you? Or something worse?"

"You won't" Chloe said "Go to therapy tomorrow, alright? Go, talk about your nightmares. Don't worry about me, I do Tae Bo, and I can always pinch your nipple."

"I'm afraid" Beca muttered looking down, and Chloe pulled her face up with her hands on her cheeks.

"Baby, as long as you're taking care of your issues, it's okay. If you ever hurt me, I'll know it wasn't on purpose, and I'll defend myself, I can do that. It'll be alright." Chloe said with a sweet voice "I love you."

"I love you too" Chloe kissed Beca.

"You're going to be okay."

The next day it was Saturday so they had the whole day for themselves, and it was the day before Halloween. Chloe and Aubrey were making muffins and in the meantime, Beca was sitting on the sofa with her laptop, mixing for the first time since she got into prison. The two twenty two year olds were pretty good chefs and made delicious dishes, and muffins were one of them. Some of the other Bellas, like Stacie, Cynthia, Fat Amy and Emily, were there too, and were helping here and there in the kitchen. Beca was so focused on her mixing and with her headphones on at such a volume, that she didn't hear a thing when Aubrey went to open a cupboard and she accidentally hit Chloe hard on the temple. The others made an ouch noise, and Chloe stumbled backwards, and Aubrey was apologizing a lot. Beca moved her face because she loved seeing Chloe cook, and then removed her headphones when she saw everyone gathering around her and Chloe's hand on her head.

"…Chloe, I'm so, so sorry, I'm so dumb" Aubrey was saying.

"What happened?" Beca asked approaching them.

"I opened the cupboard and hit her pretty hard. It was an accident, I didn't mean to!" Aubrey said anguished, which was normal because Chloe had just completely recovered from a big concussion, and the thought of her being hurt again was torture for Aubrey.

"I'm okay" Chloe whispered with her eyes closed rubbing her temple.

"Are you sure? Chloe let me see, make sure you're okay…"

"But you see Aubrey, I'm fine."

"I should take you to a doctor, they'll know what to do."

"There's no need, I'm alright."

"You could have bleeding, or a concussion."

"I'm fine, I don't need the doctor."

"You're just confused, god, what if your brain suffered big damage?" Aubrey kept getting anxious on her own.

"No Aubrey, I'm…"

"We should go to the hospital have them make a X-Ray…"

"Aubrey…" Chloe tried to speak again.

"I know a good doctor that…"

"Aubrey!" Beca interrupted then "Shut up, will you? God, you're stressing us all out, chill! She only has a little bump, she's not gonna die for a little hit on the head, you're so dramatic" Beca said, putting some ice with a cloth on the bump "We appreciate your concern, but you should really try not to make her worry and think she has to get into an O.R for this, you love hospitals all too much."

"I was just caring about her Beca" Aubrey replied in a whisper.

"I know Aubrey, and it's nice, but sometimes you cross the line and the only thing you do then is anguish her, scare her, and give her a good headache, when she should be calm. And in those occasions, you better go somewhere else and calm down before coming here and making us all have a heart attack or something." Beca kindly said.

"Really Aubrey, I feel fine, it barely even hurts" Chloe intervened.

"But I'm a med student, and I say we should take you to the doctor Chloe" Aubrey said mandatorily.

"Blondie, chill" Fat Amy joked.

"She could be seriously injured and it could be too late later!" Aubrey yelled stressfully. Chloe had sat on one of the kitchen island's stools and looked at her with sadness.

"Aubrey, don't you think you're overreacting a little?" Beca said turning from looking at Chloe to the blonde.

"No, you don't know how delicate this things are!" Aubrey said "Chloe, please" she begged Chloe with the eyes "Let me take you to the doc."

"Stop it, Aubrey" Beca went firm "You're too stressed and anxious, you've studied too much and because of that you over-worry and you're driving us crazy. Why don't you go take a walk and calm down uh?"

"But…"

"Aubrey, I think Beca's right" Cynthia said "Just go take some air and relax a little, okay? It'll be fine."

"Yeah, if she feels any bad we'll rush her to the hospital" Stacie said.

"You don't understand…" Aubrey whispered before, crestfallen, taking her coat and leaving the house dragging her feet.

Chloe looked worriedly at the closed door, and then stood up.

"Where are you going?" Beca asked.

"To find her" Chloe added "She isn't okay, she needs me."

"Chloe, even though I still believe Aubrey was overreacting, I still think you shouldn't go running after her, that you should stay here and calm for a couple hours" Beca said "She seemed fine to me."

"That's because you don't know her like I do" Chloe said "If you don't want me to go and find her, okay, go yourself, please, bring her to me."

"Chloe…"

"Beca, please" Chloe looked at her with pleading eyes.

"Alright" Beca took her coat, and went after the blonde. When she arrived to the street, she looked around and spotted Aubrey far away turning a corner.

Beca ran after Aubrey and stopped when she reached the street Aubrey had gone into. She then saw there were some stairs from the entry of a building and the blonde had sat there, hugging her knees, and cried so hard Beca could hear. Beca stood awkwardly at the beginning of the street. She wanted so desperately to just go back home and tell Chloe Aubrey needed a bit of time alone, but she knew Chloe would kill her, so she just approached the blonde slowly and cleared her throat.

"Aubrey" she said, but the blonde didn't even flinch, so Beca sat beside her and patter her back awkwardly "Hey… what's wrong?"


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: I'll wait and reply ALL the reviews for all my stories in February 2** **nd** **when my exams are over. This chapter is… well, it's Aspergers, if you understand me.**

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Chapter 19:

"Leave me alone Beca" Aubrey said between sobs, hiccupping.

"God, I wish I could, you know how bad I am with this kind of things… but… you were there to cheer me up more than once weren't you? So…" she shrugged "Besides, Chloe will kill us both if I go back home empty handed."

Aubrey stopped crying and, between sniffles, she looked up, as her face had been hidden in her arms, and rubber her nose and eyes with her hands, sniffling a bit.

"Let's go back home then" Aubrey said, starting to stand up, but Beca took her hand and pulled her down.

"Aubrey, I just want to help you. Just tell me what can I do" Beca said.

"You can drop the topic and go home."

"Look, I may be horrible at understanding body language, but that only made me better at understanding the spoken stuff. And I know anyone pulls a tantrum like the one you gave us just ten minutes ago and then cries their eyes out without strong personal reasons."

"You're right, personal, you said it yourself."

"Come on Aubrey" Beca said softly "I've done the laundry with your underwear, I know the kind of panties you wear, I think you can talk to me. I talked to you. I'm just trying to help."

Aubrey sighed deeply and nodded.

"When I was a freshmen, at Christmas I went back to New York to spend the holidays" Aubrey started with a very low voice "Everyone was doing the shopping and my father and I were alone at our house. My father was putting some stuff out of the tallest part of a closet, climbing on a ladder, when he fell back and he hit his head against the floor. He fainted but was just for a couple seconds, and then he only felt a bit dizzy and convinced me not to call anybody, saying he was fine. But around half an hour later, he was having a strong headache" Beca gulped, preparing for the ending she was expecting. Aubrey was staring at her knees, her hands on her lap "I decided to take him to the hospital, he was disoriented and didn't put up a fight, so I took him in the car, and drove as fast as possible. I couldn't keep him awake, because even if I tried a lot, he just fell asleep. When we arrived the hospital, the doctors told me he was brain-dead. He died from a lung infection from the breathing machine two months later." She said the last sentence with a broken voice, and a lonely tear crossed her cheek on its way down "It was so silly, he was just getting a box of Christmas decorations, you know? And half an hour later, he was being declared brain-dead. If I had only taken him to the hospital when my gut told me so…" she shook her head, and sniffled "We waited for him to get better, prayed, even if doctors said the chances for him to wake up were very low, but we still waited. When the holidays finished, my mother forced me to go back to classes, and then one day I was called out of class by the dean and told he was dead and that my aunt had come to take me back to New York for the funeral." She breathed deeply and rubbed her eyes angrily. Beca sat looking at her with a sad expression "I was already studying medicine, but that was the point where I started taking it really seriously, studying things only older kids did, going forward. I decided I would be a brain specialist so I could help people like my dad to live even after something like that."

"I'm very sorry Aubrey. It wasn't your fault, you have to know that." Beca whispered "If I had known all of this before, I…"

"It's okay, I made swore Chloe back then nobody would ever know. She's the only one who ever knew, we shared room, and she's so sensitive, and I fell into such a serious depression, she worried a lot" Aubrey explained.

"What can I do for you?" Beca asked.

"A hug would be great" Aubrey asked, and Beca hugged her into her chest, which made Aubrey start crying again.

Awhile later, Beca and Aubrey went back to the house, finding it empty except for Chloe, who came rushing towards them while they hung their coats.

"You told her?" Chloe asked looking at Aubrey, who nodded. Chloe smiled sadly and went to the kitchen, coming back with a plate with some chocolate muffins "We left enough for you two." Beca smiled taking one and Aubrey smiled just a bit, accepting one muffin as well.

"Chloe, next time shut me up before I mess things up" Beca said with her mouth full, and a tiny satisfied smile.

Halloween started good for Beca, who woke up to find herself hugging Chloe from behind. She sat up and smiled down at Chloe, enjoying the sight. The ginger was snuggled in a fetal position, her messy red curls all over her face, and her lips slightly parted. Beca felt a strange feeling that drowned her towards the ginger, and soon, she was leaning over her face, supporting with a hand on the mattress, and moving the other to softly, put Chloe's locks of hair away from her face. Her face did a funny gesture and moved the tip of her nose when some hair fell on it, but Beca pulled it away, and then leaned, and kissed Chloe's lips. She barely felt Chloe's breath on her own lips and barely touched them, but slowly, she started kissing her with more and more intensity, and then Chloe started kissing back. She felt Chloe smile against her lips, put a hand on the back of Beca's head, and roll face up, pressing Beca's lips against her own with a small moan. Beca was on fours, with Chloe's body between her arms and legs, kissing her passionately on the lips, and Chloe had a hand on the back of her head, pulling her hair a bit, and another stroking Beca's cheek. Beca could feel the soft skin of Chloe's hand on her cheek, and her fingertips pulling the hair on the back of her head, and that made her have such a strong desire for Chloe. She could feel her lips rubbing Chloe's time after time, their tongues finally meeting and their mouths exploring each other. Beca decided to lower herself supporting on her forearms, and moved a hand to Chloe's face, caressing it tenderly while their kisses heavier. Beca pulled back, looking eyes with Chloe's darkened ones, that opened a bit looking at her breathless and blushing, with her lips parted and swollen. Beca attacked those lips again, and then moved to her neck, and when she started kissing her there, Chloe moaned again, and Beca grunted kissing her more eagerly. Then, they heard a loud scream and they sat up looking at each other questioningly, frowning.

"What was that?" Beca asked. Chloe shook her head and ran towards the door, stepping into the corridor being soon followed by Beca. They could hear more screaming and moaning and it seemed to come from Aubrey's closed bedroom "Aubrey?" she raised her voice with the hand on the doorknob.

"Beca no…" but it was late, Beca had already peeked into the room. There she saw Jesse, nude and lying on Aubrey's bed over the covers, moaning with his eyes shut close and her hands on Aubrey's nipples, as the blonde ridded him while screaming and moaning. Beca's mouth fell open and she blushed to her ears, but the couple didn't seem to notice. Chloe, also with a red face, pulled Beca out of the room and closed the door "Oh my God" Chloe whispered as they stared at each other, hearing the couple's moans turn the volume up, and then Chloe giggled and ran to their bedroom again, taking Beca with her by the hand.

Chloe was already laughing as she closed the door behind Beca, and then looked at Beca, who smiled at her, and her laugh turned into a sensual smile, her arms surrounding Beca's neck.

"So where were we?" Chloe whispered, closing the distance and kissing Beca again. They kissed against the door, their hands travelling up and down the other's body, their kisses more and more heated every time.

 _His hands travelled under her t-shirt, as he bite her neck, he caressed her breasts rudely, and then, she felt a sharp pain and yelled as he entered her completely with one trust._

Beca screamed at top of her lungs and started crying heavily, begging for it to stop, and Chloe pulled away from her with wide eyes and a look of concern mixed with perplexity.

"Beca…" she went to put a hand on her cheek, but she yelled and pulled back against a wall, sliding until she was sitting on her ass on the floor, hugging her knees with her face hidden between her arms, crying strongly. Chloe grew more concerned and knelt in front of her "Beca it's me, is Chloe. You're fine, it's okay." But the girl didn't seem to listen. Chloe heard rushed running and then the door shoot wide open, making Beca shudder and hide even more in a corner, covering her head defensively with her arms.

"No! Please, no!" Beca was yelling between sobs. Beside Chloe, Aubrey and Jesse were standing, Jesse was only wearing some sweatpants, and Aubrey panties and one of Jesse's sweaters. The couple had the same expressions full of concern and perplexity that Chloe had, and looked questioningly at her, who shook her head.

"We were kissing and… I think I triggered a memory" Chloe said "She won't let me get any closer."

"Beca" Jesse knelt next to Chloe "Beca, you're not there anymore. Wake up."

But Beca only seemed more stressed and anxious, as her cries raised volume and she begged whoever it was not to touch her.

"What should we do?" Chloe asked looking at the others "Will she calm on her own if we leave her alone?"

"No, I think if she doesn't calm soon she will faint from the high levels of adrenaline and the rush of her heartbeats. Also, with her lungs, it's double dangerous" Aubrey said, and she knelt too "We need to get her to calm down and fast."

Chloe nodded, and they stared at Beca for a second, until Chloe leaned and tenderly, grabbed Beca's forearms, but the brunette shook and Chloe had to grab her strongly. Beca then refused to look at Chloe, crying even strongly, and Chloe gulped her own desires to cry and put her firmest demanding voice.

"Look at me" she said, gripping Beca's forearms strongly and not letting Beca kick her by being so close to her. Beca was coughing and grasping for air between sobs "Look at me and I won't hurt you" she said after hearing Beca's begs for her for not to hurt her "You just have to look at me in the eyes Beca." Chloe knew there weren't many eyes more penetrating than hers, and that they were also very expressive and could for sure show all her love, kindness and concern, so she used them. Beca finally obliged and, with effort and reluctance, she stared at her eyes. Chloe pressed her forehead against Beca's, even letting her arms go and caressing Beca's cheeks with her hands. Beca's cries softened a little as her tries to breath became more urgent "It's okay, it's me. I'm Chloe. I'm Chloe, and nobody will ever hurt you again. Nobody. Now you need to breathe for me Beca, okay?" she spoke kindly, like if speaking with a child, her eyes fixed on Beca's, feeling her urgent attempts to breathe against her lips. She was getting even more anxious because trying to breath so hard made her chest hurt. Beca's arms fell flat on her sides, and Chloe pulled apart just a little bit, rubbing her hair away from her face tenderly and stroking her cheeks. Beca stared helplessly at her as Chloe instructed her to breathe deeply, imitating her. As she tried, Beca felt dizzy, like a fish out of the water, but she focused on those blue orbs and kept trying with the back of her head supported on the wall and her legs extended flat while Chloe was knelt with her legs between her own.

"Chloe" Aubrey had brought a paper bad and handed it to Chloe "On her mouth." Chloe did so, and she held the bag against Beca's mouth as the brunette breathed imitating Chloe. She wasn't crying anymore, but she looked like she was about to faint.

"You're doing very well Beca, keep going… in… out… in…" she nodded with a tiny smile in encouragement looking how the brunette was doing, focusing on the dark blue and half opened eyes "In… out… in… out… that's right…"

After a while, Beca seemed more relaxed, so Chloe kept holding the bag while with another arm, she helped Beca to stand up and, with Aubrey's and Jesse's help, sit on their bed. Chloe sat right beside her, holding the bag to her mouth with one hand, and hugging Beca to her with the other, as the brunette closed her eyes and supported her head on Chloe's shoulder.

"You're safe now Becs" Jesse told Beca sitting beside her too, and rubbing her back tenderly. Chloe kissed her head and then laid her cheek against it. When it seemed like Beca could fully breathe on her own again, Aubrey took Beca's pulse and then, motioned for Chloe to remove the bag. After that, they laid Beca on the bed, with her head on all the pillows to keep her somehow upright so she could breathe better. The brunette opened her eyes just slightly at this, but then she closed then again. Chloe pulled the covers over her and walked to the door with the couple.

"I'm gonna stay with her just in case" Chloe said, and the others nodded "Keep sex soundless, please." She added with a smirk.

"We were done already" Aubrey smirked and looked at Beca over Chloe's shoulders "She should be fine. Take care of her uh?" Chloe nodded. Jesse smiled a bit to Chloe and nodded to himself, following Aubrey out of the room. Chloe closed the door and sat next to Beca, stroking her cheek softly.

Beca opened her eyes four hours later, and looked around to see Chloe lying on the bed beside her while looking at the ceiling. Beca grunted feeling like she just went back from the gym, completely exhausted, and Chloe rolled to her side looking worriedly at her.

"How are you feeling?" Chloe asked.

"Like I just ran a marathon" Beca replied hoarsely, and rubbed her throat with her hand "and my throat hurts…" she looked at Chloe "What happened? Last I remember we were kissing."

"We were kissing, but I think it triggered you and you had a huge panic attack" Chloe explained "You couldn't breathe properly, so maybe that's why you can't remember, from the lack of oxygen to your brain. Aubrey, Jesse and I helped you out and then you fell asleep, that was…" she looked at the alarm clock in the bedside table "Four hours ago."

"What?" Beca sat up quickly "I… oh, fuck!"

"It's okay Beca" Chloe said sitting up too "It's okay."

"I had an appointment with my therapist at four, and I still have to eat something and get dressed, and then go all the way downtown" Beca explained. The clock said half past two.

"Okay, then I'll go warm some food up for you, in the meantime you get dressed, and then while you eat, I'll get dressed and I'll take you driving there, so you won't have to lost time parking or anything" Chloe said, standing next to Beca, who had started looking for her clothes "It'll be alright babe."

"I know" Beca turned and smiled at her stroking her cheek "I'm sorry if I freaked you out. This has never happened… I mean, not as strongly as for me to forget. I guess it's because of the lung thing." She shrugged.

"It's okay" Chloe gave her a peck on the mouth "I love you."

"I love you too" Chloe was about to leave the room when Beca stopped her "Chloe?"

"Yes" Chloe turned to look at her.

"Do you want to know why I know everything will be alright?"

"Sure" Chloe smiled a bit and Beca stared at her.

"Because ever since I know you, you haven't let anything bad last for too long" she smiled a bit, and Chloe grinned.

"Well then get used to it because I'm never letting you go on alone" Chloe said, and went to the kitchen.

After the appointment, Chloe took Beca back home, and the brunette sat in silence for the whole ride. Chloe smiled at her, and let her be. Once in home, Aubrey and Jesse had made dinner for the four of them.

"How was therapy?" Jesse asked Beca while they ate.

"Good" Beca replied "Helped some I guess." She had already finished her dinner "Can I go to bed? I'm really tired."

"Of course Becs" Chloe smiled reassuringly at her, and Beca went to her bed.

On Monday, Beca woke up at six, half an hour before Chloe, to go to class. She was pretty nervous, not knowing what would she be facing her first day back after having been in prison for so long. She hadn't had summer holidays either, so it was going to be weird. She had a very complete Monday. First, she had four hours of class, followed by two hours of rehearsal, a quick lunch at the University's canteen or in some bar close by, or maybe a sandwich, and then she would run to be in time for work. She would finish at work at nine, and then she would be home for the quickest dinner ever so she could get to bed and rest before another long day. It was a pretty stressful day, but Beca liked going back to a certain routine, and also keeping her brain busy.

"Good morning" Aubrey, who was already finishing making coffee and some toasts, greeted Beca when she came to the kitchen after showering and dressing up "Ready for a hard working Monday?"

"Yes" Beca took some toasts and sat "I went through all the notes everybody gave me for the classes I missed, and it's all quite easy to understand, plus the notes were very good. Then it's rehearsal and work, it shouldn't be too hard."

"Do you have rehearsal tomorrow too?" Aubrey asked sitting with her eating her own breakfast.

"No, just today and Stacie said something about doing another maybe on Thursday, but that isn't sure. We may do it on Saturday."

"So have you guys been talking already about the Bellas?"

"Yes, we've been calling, texting and emailing, and she has pretty good ideas for Regionals that I think I can use to create the music" Beca replied "I'm running late Aubrey, see you later!"

"Hey, say goodbye to Chloe before you go" Aubrey asked.

"Why? She's sleeping, I'll bother her" Beca said frowning.

"Trust me, she hates waking up and finding that everybody left without saying a thing, even if she knows our schedules. Plus, she won't see you until later tonight, so she'll love to get to kiss you goodbye properly" Aubrey explained, knowing how important that explanation was for Beca. The brunette nodded and went to their shared bedroom, finding Chloe already up and getting her clothes ready to dress up. Her face enlightened when she saw Beca, and she smiled.

"I thought you left!" Chloe said.

"I was going too, but Aubrey told me you'd like it if I at least said goodbye" Beca said, incapable of hiding the truth. Chloe nodded and walked towards her, giving her a soft kiss on the lips Beca corresponded.

"I love you" Chloe said.

"I love you too" Beca pulled her into another kiss, a longer one, before pulling apart "I'm taking your car… I'll see you tonight."

"I'll be here" Chloe replied, and Beca left.

Of course there would be rumors going around her class, whispers, murmurs, people wondering about Beca, talking about the criminal, the murderer, the innocent poor girl, or whatever version each individual had of her. Beca, however, ignored them the best she could focusing on the class, and soon, the four hours were over and she was heading to the auditorium. Stacie had some ideas for music, which Beca liked, and Beca set to work on the mixes while Stacie started preparing some dance moves and warming the girls up. Beca was still convalescent and Stacie knew she was still with lung exercises and gym, so Stacie let her be alone at her thing without asking, and trusted Beca would prepare herself alone, the best way she could according to how good or bad she felt.

"It was nice" Stacie told Beca as the other Bellas left at the end of the rehearsal and they picked up their stuff to go.

"Yes" Beca nodded "Well, see you Stacie!"

She ate a sandwich while she drove to her work, and was there right in time. Her boss explained her the tasks, gave her some keys, and Beca started working on organizing books. She didn't have much work to do that day, so she sat around in case her help was needed for most of the afternoon. A few hours later, it was time to go back home, and she was exhausted, her body aching for a bed, almost not hungry at all. She got home and opened the door slowly just in case they were already sleeping, even if it was dinner time. A smell of amazing food instantly filled her nose.

"Smells good in here" she commented, having been taught it was polite to say so. Chloe and Aubrey were elbow against elbow working in the kitchen, and smiled at her.

"Thank you love" Chloe's face lit up and walked quickly towards her. She had been aching for Beca's presence and touch all day, missing her like crazy, and she couldn't wait to have the younger woman between her arms. However, when Chloe's arms were almost around Beca's neck, the shorter girl, despite having a little tired smile on her face, stepped back, leaving a very bewildered Chloe whose arms fell loosely.

"Sorry Chlo" Beca shifted her weight from one foot to the other awkwardly "I'm just… I don't quite…"

"It's okay" Chloe forced a tiny smile to hide her disappointment and shrugged "Maybe a quick little kiss? I've really missed you."

"Sure" Beca leaned and kissed her softly, smiling against the kiss. They kept their hands off each other, and went to have dinner.

"How was that first day?" Aubrey asked while carrying plates to the table where Beca had sat.

"It was good" Beca replied.

"That's all?" Chloe asked.

"Well, yeah. Good rehearsal, nice classes, easy job" Beca shrugged "What else?" Aubrey smiled and shook her head.

"It's okay Bec" Chloe smiled a bit "We're happy to hear that, really. Did everybody treat you well and nice?"

"Yeah" Beca nodded "Actually it was a bit surprising, but it was nice."

"Awesome" Chloe and Aubrey grinned happily.

They had a calm dinner, Beca rushing herself because she was so tired she didn't want to stay there much more than needed. Also, after being all day pretty much insolated, because even if she was surrounded with people she had been doing stuff on her own only and barely talking with anybody, she now felt like she was craving for some loneliness. She stood up carrying her empty plate to the dishwasher, and then started walking to the corridor that lead to her bedroom.

"Becs!" Chloe called from the table. Beca quickly turned around and stared blankly at her, tiredly. Chloe frowned a bit "Are you okay?"

"Yes, although very tired too" Beca replied honestly "I was on my way to bed actually."

"Oh…" Chloe nodded "That's great. I just thought you would give your goodnights or something, but it's okay, it doesn't matter." Beca stood confused for a moment and then nodded and walked away. She lied on her bed and sighed feeling the comfortable mattress, and the covers over her. It was so different from her cold prison cell and the metallic table she slept on.

After some time, Beca's eyes were closing as she drifted off to sleep, and then she felt the bed shift a bit, and an arm hugged her from behind, a quick peek on the back of her neck. This would've startled her if she hadn't smelled Chloe's scent from the very beginning.

"I love you" Chloe whispered thinking she was asleep. Beca shut her eyes close, feeling that having Chloe's arm tightly hugging her around her belly was just unbearable for her, it was too much touching, even if they had had days of touching a lot and that one, they had barely touched. Beca hated herself for it, but she gently took Chloe's hand and put it behind her.

"I love you too" Beca whispered only to not seem an asshole and prove she wasn't angry or anything. She knew she was hurting Chloe.

In the morning, Beca left again and repeated the same day, except that she didn't have rehearsals, so she could be home by lunch time, even earlier. When she arrived home, Aubrey wasn't there and Chloe seemed to have just arrived, judging by her shoes that were thrown near the door, and her camera backpack was on the sofa.

"Chloe? It's Beca!" she called out, receiving no response, so she left her things in their bedroom. Then she walked to the closed work room, where she thought she had heard some noise, and when she opened, she saw Chloe had her earphones on, her IPhone shoved into her jeans' pocket. She was wearing some big old shirt on top of her clothes and walked barefoot while she focused on some painting she was doing, her hair pulled up in a messy bum. Beca could see Chloe was trying to make a painting of what seemed like stars through a window. Then she realized, after paying more attention, that it was the same window Beca had over her bed back in the Bellas House "Chloe!" Beca yelled knowing that if she touched Chloe without her seeing her, she would have a heart attack.

Chloe turned around and grinned, leaving her paint brush and her palette on a table before walking to Beca, who smiled a bit.

"Well hello beautiful" Chloe said removing her earphones and giving Beca a hug that Beca quickly corresponded "How was the morning?"

"It was fine" Beca replied, keeping the hug happening even when Chloe first attempted to pull apart.

"That's good. Mine was a bit boring, barely no clients today so the boss let me go earlier" Chloe shrugged, putting her head away so she could face Beca, but keeping her arms around her neck "You look very pretty for having woken up so early today."

"Thanks" Beca did one of the things she liked the most to do with Chloe, stare intently at her lips, seeing Chloe get nervous and blush, and stare at her own lips too, until Beca pressed their lips together, with such enthusiasm Chloe's head moved back for a second until the ginger corresponded with equal enthusiasm. After a long time brushing their lips together, Beca pulled apart "I'm gonna make lunch, is it alright?"

"Sure" Chloe smiled "Call me if you want some help."

Aubrey came right in time for lunch, and Beca ate quickly so she wouldn't be late for work.

"What do you think if we pick you up tonight and go have dinner somewhere else?" Chloe asked Beca, who stared at her frowning.

"That if I go have dinner outside I'll have to wait more until we find a place, then until food arrives, and then to go back home and to bed, and tomorrow I gotta be up at six. Also, I don't think there's a restaurant in Georgia up for having me as a client, even if I was declared innocent." Beca said very matter-of-factly.

"Right" Chloe's face dropped a bit "But I'm sure they wouldn't have a problem with you… anyway, if that's not a good option… maybe we could order something before the end of your shift so dinner's here by the time you come, nobody has to cook, and we eat something different?" Chloe had already spoken about it with Aubrey the night before.

"That seems a better idea" Beca nodded "Well, I gotta go. See you!" Chloe looked up for a kiss, but Beca didn't even see her before running to grab her backpack and heading out. Chloe's face dropped in disappointment.


	20. Chapter 20

**Here you have it, a very eventful chapter. I see many of you haven't read I was on my exams! but I finished today so here's a new chapter on each of my fics. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 20:

Beca's day was as exhausting as possible, so much Beca was convinced somebody had planned it on purpose. The library chose that day to fill with people, and she found herself trying not to talk with anybody but being forced by her boss to do so, because the boss couldn't with all the job alone and needed her, so Beca had to try not to seem rude to the clients and pretend that their visit cheered her up or something to be nice. When she dragged her feet along the main door of her apartment building, she didn't even feel hungry, but she knew Aubrey, Chloe and Jesse would probably be up already and would probably have Chinese food.

"Goodnight!" Beca yelled tiredly entering the apartment.

"Hey!" Jesse smiled walking towards her "Here, taste this, is pure heaven." He gave her what looked like bread. Beca reluctantly looked suspicious and then grabbed a bite.

"Oh my God." Beca said with her mouth full "This is amazing." Jesse chuckled.

"Right?"

"What is this?" Beca asked.

"Chinese, silly. Although don't ask me the name, I can't even spell it."

"Hi!" The girls greeted Beca in the kitchen, busy putting the food in plates. Beca guessed Jesse had pretended to go to help them and ended up sneaking the food into his mouth.

Beca was sick of people from her day at work, but she couldn't help having her stomach jump in her belly when Chloe's beautiful features smiled at her, and she pushed herself towards her girlfriend, who showed her surprise when Beca grabbed her hips and kissed her in the lips.

"I missed you." Beca said, sincerely. Chloe's eyes were suddenly glassy.

"I missed you too." Chloe said kissing her again "I love you."

"I love you more." Beca assured with a smile.

They ate happily, and Beca told them about the silliest clients she had had that day in such a ridiculous way they all laughed about it, and finally she went to sleep, Chloe following suit. Chloe was lying contemplating the ceiling while Beca turned and turned in her sleep, until finally she heard a huff.

"I'm so exhausted I can't even sleep." Beca said suddenly, frustrated, and Chloe smirked.

"Do you want to cuddle?" Chloe suggested.

"Yes. No. Yes?" Beca replied, and Chloe laughed.

"Call me when you're ready to give a proper answer." Beca rolled to face her, nervous written all over her face.

"I want to, but I'm sick of so much social contact after the whole day, so at the same time my Aspie me doesn't want to."

"Okay." Chloe nodded "Come here." She raised an arm so Beca tucked herself against Chloe, and Chloe put an arm around her shoulders "Is this okay?"

"Yes." Beca snuggled comfortably and Chloe adjusted the sheets so they covered both of them.

"See? Sometimes over-thinking only makes everything too complicated. The best you can do is try, and if at the end it doesn't satisfy you, then you can always stop." Chloe said.

"You know what helps me to sleep?" Beca said "Your voice. Not because it's a boring voice, but because it's like gentle strokes on my eardrums after all the noise of the day. It relaxes me." Chloe smiled.

"What can I tell you about?" Chloe asked.

"Uhm… something that isn't too important in case I fall asleep and miss it."

"I'll tell you about my worst job." Chloe smirked "So when I was sixteen, I went to work to a small bazaar back in Tampa that was managed by a fat Chinese that smelled like noodles and had the hair so short and was so fat, it looked like a wig, and he looked like if he was always angry and his hair was grassy. However, he was a very funny man, not only physically, but he told the best jokes and he was so kind and incredibly wise, so those were funny years. I actually cried when I left before coming to Barden. He loved to hear me sing too, and funnily enough, he taught me to breathe from the belly. Turns out he was an opera singer, you know? And what I would do there… well, some days I organized the clothes, others I was dealing with the money and the clients, and others I was cleaning. But the weirdest thing, I never had a bad day. I remember Tampa was so hot that sometimes…" Beca didn't hear more, falling asleep.

However, and maybe because karma's a bitch, she woke up a few hours later, startled and breathing rapidly, scared beyond herself, after having just had a nightmare. She looked at the darkness and suddenly she saw faces, people growling at her.

"No." Beca whispered breathless "No!"

"Beca!" Chloe sat up looking at her "Beca darling, what's up?"

"Chloe?" Beca looked confused at her.

"Yes." Chloe then realized of what was happening and stroke her face gently "Oh Beca, honey… you had a nightmare, didn't you? But it's okay, I'm here. It was just a dream baby."

"It looked very real to me." Beca argued.

"I know, because you have a powerful imagination, nothing else." Chloe whispered lovingly "Wanna snuggle? I can't keep the evil away from you." Beca nodded and snuggle into her arms, Chloe wrapping her arms around her like if Beca was a baby and needed her to keep the nightmares away. Slowly, Chloe laid them both again on the bed, her arms never leaving the shorter girl "Better now?" Chloe asked.

"Better." Beca nodded closing her eyes, and then her alarm sounded "Fuck." Chloe moved and turned the alarm off.

"Let's do this. I go with you to the kitchen, make you breakfast while you get ready in the living so you don't get lonely here, and then sit with you while you eat. I can even throw some shoes on and drive you to class and pick you up later for work, would that be good?"

"I can go to class alone, thanks. But I'd like to have you there while I get ready and have some breakfast." Beca replied.

They did that, and Chloe rubbed her back while she ate and told her about her nightmare. It hadn't been a big thing. She was in the exact same cell she used to be, and there were wolves in the dark that jumped on her biting her for dinner. It was traumatic, but wasn't as bad as it definitely could have been.

That day the library was mostly empty, so her boss let her go earlier. Beca was crossing the street after parking, to get into her house, when out of the nothing a car appeared and hit her, causing her to roll over the car and fall to the ground with a thud.

"Oh my…" Beca blinked looking at the clouds. "What the hell just happened?" she whispered. She started to feel herself. Her head was pounding, but it didn't seem too bad to worry. Her face seemed good. She was only moving one hand, so she tried to move the other and her wrist hurt so much she stopped. Her legs felt right, although her whole body hurt a little, but not like if she broke anything, more like she had been hit quite hard. She realized she wasn't breathing and took a long, deep breathe, and saw it didn't seem like she was broken inside, so she supported herself on her good hand, and sat up a bit. She felt immediately dizzy and she closed her eyes.

"What the hell?!" A young man was yelling at her "This is a sports car girl, this is more expensive than you!" Beca looked up at him, confused. She tried to speak, but it was like she was too numb to talk. She looked at checked she had been going through the crosswalk, so it wasn't her fault.

"I used the crosswalk." Beca said with a shaking voice. The other man kept yelling until a big woman stepped in and yelled at him. She then ignored him and kneeled next to her.

"Are you okay girl?" the woman asked with a kind smile. Beca was too confused for her own benefit, it was like time went so far and she couldn't keep up with that.

"I don't… know." Beca replied. The woman rubbed her back and Beca cringed.

"Does it hurt?" the woman asked worriedly "I can call an ambulance."

"No… it doesn't hurt, just… I have Aspergers." Beca explained, and the woman nodded in understanding.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?"

"I don't know…"

"Beca!" Beca looked up and saw Chloe, Jesse and Aubrey running out of their apartment and towards her. They of course got into some yelling with the dude –Chloe pushed him and he shut up- and they knelt next to her "Beca are you okay baby? We heard the noise and looked down the balcony…" Chloe explained. Beca then realized there was a crowd around her.

"She's a bit confused." The woman explained "I didn't know if I should call an ambulance."

"What happened?" Chloe asked.

"That driver drove her over, she flew in the air and fell. Is a miracle she didn't break her neck."

"Thank you, we'll take it from here." Jesse said "And you son of a bitch, I've memorized your plaque already!" Jesse added pointing at the driver who had run Beca over. The guy got into his car and left "Bastard."

"We should take you to a hospital." Aubrey said after having examined Beca's pupils "Are you feeling any dizzy hon?"

"Yeah" Beca went to nod but stopped herself getting dizzy again.

"Come, I'll help you into the car." Jesse carefully held Beca bride style.

"That's my car right?" Chloe pointed at her car, that Beca had taken. Beca nodded sleepily "Don't you fall asleep Beca, alright? Let's keep you awake until a doctor sees you." Chloe took the keys from Beca's pocket and got into the driver seat, while Aubrey and Beca sat behind -Beca laid down with her head on Aubrey's knees- and Jesse sat beside Chloe.

They were in the hospital in half the usual time, and Beca felt too… weird? to even be scared or nervous. She felt dizzier by the second, and sleepier. Instead of carrying Beca again, Jesse ran to find a doctor so Beca could be wheeled on a wheelchair instead, not wanting to cause her any more damage. Then, the doctors brought the brunette to an E.R. examination room. Chloe informed she was 'the girlfriend' and that lead her to be left in the other side of the curtain, stroking Beca's cheek, although the girl, almost asleep and too out of it, probably didn't even notice.

"What happened?" A Doctor Simmons asked.

"She was run over. We know we should've called an ambulance, but she panics a lot with hospitals and hospital stuff and I thought maybe it was better to keep her calm. She also has Aspergers, so the crowded street wasn't helping much." Chloe informed. The doctor nodded in understatement "By the way, she's Beca Mitchell, I'm Chloe." Chloe added nervously.

"Perfect. Well, let's have a look…" The doctor examined her pupils and felt around Beca's skull softly with his hands "Do you know your name?"

"Rebeca Mitchell. Better Beca." Beca replied in a whisper.

"Okay." The doctor smiled "Do you know who Chloe is?"

"My girlfriend and roommate." Beca replied again, tiredly.

"And what's the last thing you remember?"

"I was going home after work… the light was green, I swear… and then… then I was on the ground, and there was noise and everything hurt." Beca replied. Then, she suddenly looked like about to vomit, and if it wasn't for the quick movement of a nurse with a container, she would've vomited all over the doctor "Sorry." Beca apologized grimacing for the pain of the sudden movement.

"Don't worry." The doctor smiled helping Beca lie down again and a nurse cleaned her mouth "Alright Beca, you have a little concussion and since it doesn't seem serious, I'm gonna see if there's anything more important we should worry about before we take you for a CT scan and take a look inside your body and brain to make sure there isn't something internal we haven't seen. Is than alright?"

"Yes doc." Beca nodded.

"Is it okay if the nurse and I remove your shoes, socks, pants, jacket and t-shirt, or would you be more comfortable if your girlfriend Chloe helped the nurse and I waited?" The doctor was a man, so Chloe thought it was very considerate of him. He had probably heard Beca was raped, since she had been in that same hospital for a long time.

"It's okay doctor." Beca replied, and the doctor and nurse were incredibly careful, Chloe helping a bit too. They also gave Beca a blanket so she wouldn't get cold while the doctor palmed her neck, torso, limbs, feet, and listened to her lungs too. Beca was mostly fine, but she was covered in bruises, had a cut she hadn't realized she had before, above her eyebrow, and her right radius had fractured a little.

After some tests, the doctor concluded her skull was fine and she didn't had any internal damage, only the bruises, a few scratches here and there, the small concussion and a small fracture in her radius, that only required put it in a cast. The fracture had been close to her wrist, causing her to believe she had broken her wrist in the first place, because the pain also irradiated a lot.

Beca was already dressed after a couple hours of tests, and ready to sleep. The doctor gave her a paper with the meds.

"Take the painkillers at most four times a day, but only when it hurts and with a couple hours from time and time. If it hurts too much and you need more, or you're feeling too bad, you come right back, alright?" Beca nodded only wanting to get home "You can expect great tiredness and some dizziness and lack of memory for a few days, so I wouldn't recommend you going back to work or class in a week."

"Excellent." Beca said sarcastically leaning her head against Chloe's shoulder.

"Time to sleep." Chloe kissed Beca's forehead a while later as the brunette laid on their bed. She was already asleep, so Chloe just tuck her properly and went to the living where Aubrey and Jesse were chilling out "Jesse, you said you memorized the guy's plaque?"

"Actually I wrote it down in my cell." Jesse said showing it to her.

"Alright, I'm gonna write it down and go to the police station. This is not going to end like this."

Chloe was generally a nice, kind person, but as she entered the police station of their neighborhood a bit later, she was fuming with rage. How did that bastard dare to run over _her girlfriend_ and then run? He was going to hear of her. She had already called her father, and the man said he would fly to Atlanta the moment the denounced had been contacted and there was a date for the hearing.

After waiting for ten minutes, Chloe spoke with a cop and told her everything that had happened, and the cop took note of her information, Beca's number as well as Chloe's, and the plaque number. She promised she would call her the moment they localized the guy, since Chloe had told her Beca had a concussion and needed rest, not to deal with those things.

"Hi." Beca murmured as Chloe threw herself on the bed beside her after all the paperwork.

"Hi babe." Chloe kissed her cheek "Listen, I had to go sue the guy who ran you over." Beca's eyes snapped open.

"I thought after you got in my class problems we agreed you were going to stop intruding Chloe." Beca said too tired to get mad.

"I know, but this isn't about you Becs, he's a dangerous, irresponsible driver, and could hurt a lot more people. Plus, you don't even have to come, the cop understood you need rest and she explained to me they would find the owner of the car, then call us so somebody who was there could confirm it was the right guy, he would call an attorney, I already called my father, and we'll have a hearing with a judge. The cop said since it was in the middle of the street and there are too many witnesses, the guy would probably want to avoid the trouble and he would just pay us some money stipulated by the judge and then he would lose his driving license."

"Ugh, whatever Chlo, I need sleep."

"Okay." Chloe kissed her cheek "I'll be right here if you need anything." Chloe lied on her side with her nose against Beca's shoulder, and fell asleep shortly after.

When Chloe woke up, Beca was already awake and staring intently at the ceiling, which made Chloe frown in concern.

"Do you need your painkillers, Beca?" she asked.

"No." Beca replied "I was just… you know, dealing with everything that has been happening… I don't know. I was thinking, I guess. Nothing important."

"Beca, anything yours is important to me. You can talk to me whenever you want, I know it's not easy for you, but I'm here for you."

"I know, thanks." Beca smiled a bit looking at her "I just can't believe a car ran me over."

"It's quite shocking, not an everyday thing." Chloe commented and Beca nodded.

"Yeah…" Beca bit her lip. She was thinking about something but didn't want to talk about it, and at the same time she didn't want to leave it in her mind "Chlo… do you think… do you think the world hates me?" Chloe opened her eyes widely.

"No." Chloe smiled kindly "Becs, you're just a good person whose bad things have happened to. That doesn't make you an unwanted person. You know what my mother used to say?" Beca stared at her waiting for the reply "That every person who's in this world, is here for a reason. You have a reason too, honey, and maybe the crap that's happening now it's just so the rest of the story can happen. Like with Disney princesses, their princes only find them after something bad had happened. And look at the bright side, don't you have good friends, a family who loves you, a job, a good education, and a girlfriend who loves you more than oxygen?"

"I suppose you're right." Beca side smiled a bit "So maybe everything will be alright."

"Everything will be alright. Wait and see." Chloe leaned and kissed her girlfriend on the lips.


	21. Chapter 21

**Only this chapter and another more to end this story. I finished a bit ago and I was a bit sad it was only 22 chapters, but it felt right and I think I've already proved the reason of this fic, and I loved the end, francly. Let me know if your reviews haven't been answered, enjoy this chapter, and look for answers to anons below!**

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Chapter 21:

The week Beca was confined at home happened too slowly. Beca was mostly in bed, lying and resting until she got tired of resting and, often while everybody was out, started walking around the house. One afternoon she was contemplating Chloe's art, when the door opened.

"Hi!" Chloe grinned "I thought I heard you here."

"I didn't hear you come in." Beca replied, guessing she had been really focused on her girlfriend's art. She kissed Chloe "Tomorrow I'm going back to class. Besides my arm, I'm feeling lots better."

"Great!" Chloe smirked "Do you want to celebrate?"

"You know, I prefer staying at home." Beca reminded her and Chloe looked mischievously.

"I didn't say we had to leave the house…" Chloe winked and Beca gulped. Chloe smiled warmly and stepped forward, her hands stroking softly Beca's upper arms while her eyes focused in Beca's lips. Beca's pupils dilated seeing this and her eyes fixed in Chloe's lips. When she was next to Chloe it was like she had OCD for Chloe. Their lips found each other for a lingering kiss, Chloe's hands went up to caress Beca's cheek bones as the kiss intensified, and Beca's good hand gripped Chloe's ass, making the ginger moan to the touch. The kiss continued, their tongues getting closer together. "Bed." Chloe said suddenly and Beca looked confused.

"What's up with the bed?" Beca asked. Chloe chuckled.

"Let's go to the bed so we can get comfortable, right?"

"Uh, I guess." Beca followed her to the bedroom slightly confused. When she arrived Chloe was removing her t-shirt and pants and smiled at her "Uhm… what… are we going to have sex?"

"Unless you don't want to?" Chloe asked "We can always do something else. Cuddle. Or… read." She shrugged.

"But you feel like having sex." Beca stated.

"Making love Beca, it's not the same." Chloe smiled patiently "And of course. You're the hottest, most beautiful, sexiest, prettiest woman on Earth, got me all turned on." She winked. Beca raised her eyebrows and then frowned a bit.

"I haven't liked sex so far. I mean, if it's anything like being raped…"

"Becs I know it's delicate, I know you have Aspergers and also your arm is not perfectly fine, and nothing has to happen if you don't want to, really. But making love is nothing like being raped, polar opposites babe, making love is supposed to be pleasurable for the both of us, and it's supposed to be filled with love, and affection, and not rudeness or pain, like a rape." Chloe explained.

Beca was thoughtful for a moment, and then nodded slowly.

"Okay… I wanna try."

"Yeah?" Chloe grinned.

"Yeah. But you have to tell me what to do." Beca said firmly.

"Sure, and you tell me what to do too, mostly make sure I don't hurt you or bring you bad memories like last time we got heated?" Beca nodded "Okay, kiss me."

Beca could do that. She had kissed Chloe thousands of times, and for some reason, it made her feel alive again, as long as their tongues weren't touching too much, which disgusted her. After a while just kissing, each with their hands to themselves, Chloe pulled apart a little.

"Is it okay if I touch you?" Beca thought for a moment, and nodded. Chloe touched her in all the good ways, which most people didn't know to, and her hands traveled to Beca's face while they kissed again "Touch me."

"Where?" Beca mumbled against her lips. Chloe kissed her again and while they kissed, Chloe took her bra off, and took Beca's hand moving it towards her boob, pressing Beca's palm against her nipple. If they talked they barely pulled apart for a bit before kissing again.

"Squeeze." Chloe instructed. Beca squeezed gently her boob and smirked when a beautiful sound escaped from Chloe's mouth, it was like music and she wanted to hear it again, so she squeezed again and, like she had seen in some books, rubbed the nipple, and pinched it. Chloe moaned heavier and Beca liked the sound, and liked how the boob felt. It was like her own boobs, but bigger and softer, and it felt a bit like playing with something. She touched it, got a sound, and got a physical reaction. Chloe's mouth moved and kissed Beca's neck in a way that gave her goose bumps. Beca wondered if her boob would feel as good with her mouth. At the end it was like kissing a very cubby cheek.

She leaned and sucked the nipple, to which Chloe moaned deeply and pushed her boob further into Beca's mouth, arching her back. Was that that she liked it? Well if she didn't, she would've slapped her or something, so Beca decided to continue. She liked that soft, warm thing in her mouth, and it was a bit like when she was little and sucked her mom's breasts, she guessed. Beca used her hand to pay attention to the other nipple with her hand, and found out things that seemed like it would hurt made Chloe arch her back more and throw her head back, red waves falling like a waterfall, and such a beautiful expression in her face. Then Beca felt an unexplainable need to kiss her, so she reached and kissed her. She wondered if Chloe would feel the same pleasure she had felt when she kissed her neck, so Beca leaned tilting her head to a side a bit and placed a soft kiss behind Chloe's ear and down her neck, to which Chloe smiled. Beca then realized her eyes were darker, her pupils dilated, which books indicated meant lust, and her nipple was hard under her hand. Beca remembered Jesse had talked to her about that, hard nipples meant she was excited, aroused. And she felt hot between her legs too, so she imagined she was also aroused.

"Can I touch your breasts?" Chloe asked blushing a little. Beca knew Jesse was working until night, and Aubrey was probably studying at the library.

"Yes." Beca replied, and Chloe helped her remove her t-shirt, since Beca's arm was hurt. Beca had plaster from wrist to elbow, but she had removed her cast, so it was easier. Chloe's fingers removed Beca's bra while kissing her, and then looked down smiling.

"You're gorgeous." Chloe said.

"Am I?" Beca looked down. She had a lot of breasts, but Chloe had more. And she was way too pale.

"Yes you are. You are the most beautiful angel." Chloe smiled leaning and dropping peeks around Beca's breasts. Touches that would usually made her felt asphyxiated now sent electric waves of pleasure to her core to a level she had to close her eyes and remember to breathe. She had never felt so loved, wanted, desired, and not as some sexual object, but as a human being. Chloe was really trying for her to have a good time too. It didn't have anything to do with the violent fondling she had to stand from her rapist.

"Oh my God." Beca breathed out when Chloe's mouth cupped her breast. She looked down and the sight turned her own to a level she couldn't believe she, an Aspie, was having such a good time. Beca lied on the bed and Chloe leaned kissing her belly. Beca found she wasn't so fond of things around her belly, she liked her lower "Lower."

"Do you want me to touch your clit?" Chloe asked. Beca nodded, so Chloe chuckled and helped her unbutton her pants and pull them down along with her panties "You're beautiful Becs."

"Thanks." Beca sat up and leaned to see Chloe fix her eyes on hers as her tongue stroked the never touched vaginal lips, which supposed such an erotic vision Beca's mouth went dry. Then her tongue made pressure somewhere and Beca felt incredibly great "Mmm…" she closed her eyes again and Chloe smiled, a hand on Beca's boob and a finger tentatively finding her hole. She teased the entrance and Beca's hips involuntarily jerked so she introduced the finger a bit, paying attention at Beca's reaction. Beca frowned and looked at her "So weird."

"Yeah?" Chloe smiled "And now?" she moved her finger inside of her rubbing a part of her insides that made Beca grunt and throw herself back again, arching her back. Chloe soon had too fingers inside of her while she kissed and sucked her breasts, and soon, Beca came.

"Oh…" Beca murmured when she came down her high.

"How was it?" Chloe asked, feeling too aroused for her own benefit.

"It was… it was pretty nice." Beca smiled a bit.

"Do you want to touch me there too?" Chloe asked. Her panties were already soaked. Beca was thoughtful for enough time to make Chloe think she was going to have to have the coldest shower of her life, but Beca finally nodded.

"Yes." Beca said. Chloe removed her panties and lied on the bed, pulling her legs apart. Beca was in fours -well, her injured arm was hugging herself- over Chloe, and soon, their lips met. Beca made a trail of kisses until she reached between her legs, and proceeded to do just as Chloe had previously done to her. At the end, she got the same reaction and Chloe came hard. She had only heard about that in books, so Beca was quite impressed "I'm gonna have a shower." Beca said then, feeling dirty. She kissed Chloe's belly button because she found it cute, and headed towards the shower.

After dinner that day, Beca realized Chloe was taking long to go to bed, so she wondered what was the ginger up to and went to look for her. The house was in silence, Aubrey asleep too, and Beca found Chloe busy painting something. Beca smiled leaning against the doorframe and contemplated her for a while. She wished she could make Chloe feel half the things Chloe made her feel. That it didn't matter if she was sometimes rude with Chloe, or rejected her touchy side, and she thought she would give anything to make her feel so many things her own way. Then, she suddenly realized she could, and smiled going back to bed.

Her arm made it twice as hard to mix, dance or do anything really, although she was lucky she was left handed and wasn't left completely impaired. By Thanksgiving, her arm was already much better and it didn't hurt so bad, so she enjoyed a peaceful dinner at the Barden Bellas.

Regionals were going to be quite soon, so they were rehearsing like crazy. It was a week before Regionals, in December, that Beca was going home early after a class got suspended, although she had to go to another class so it was just a quick stop. She supposed nobody was home, so she ran to her bedroom to leave her jacket and pick up a book she had forgotten. When she opened the bedroom, she stood still. In front of her was a very nude Chloe, lying on their bed with her eyes closed, an expression that Beca knew as her orgasm face, and three fingers shoved deeply into her.

"What the hell are you doing?" Beca asked, her voice raised a little. She knew the redheaded girl was masturbating, but was she masturbating thinking about her because she had gotten hot and she wasn't home? Was that what Beca was now, a piece of meat for her horny girlfriend? Did it mean anything at all?

"Becs." Chloe sat up blushed, looking at her "Uh, eh… I can totally explain." Beca felt her anger rising unexpected limits. That was her guilty face, Beca had studied Chloe for more than a year to know all those things already.

"Don't bother." Beca snapped, and ran away.

"Beca! Beca, wait, whatever you think this is you're wrong!" Chloe went to run after her, but then the main door shut closed and she was nude, so she hurried to get dressed "Beca!" she yelled once she got dressed, picked her keys and stormed out of the apartment. But the building seemed in silence.

Beca calmed down as she drove towards her next class. Maybe Chloe was just turned on because she, Beca, was beautiful, and maybe that didn't make her a piece of meat and nothing else, right? Maybe it made her a sculpture, or some other piece of art. Maybe Chloe did love her like she said she did.

She didn't have much time to think, though, as soon she reached the campus she had to immerse herself in two hours and a half of class expositions, which promised to be exhausting. She had done her exposition already but she had to still go to class because the teacher explained some stuff from time to time. However, she did her best to distract herself by looking through her laptop for more music to create mixes for the Regionals.

"Stop everybody!" A deep voice bellowed suddenly, startling here. Some people yelled and screamed things like 'What the fuck?' and Beca closed her laptop and looked to the front. The guy that had to do his exposition was suddenly pointing at them with a gun "I'm sick of everybody! I'm a star! Why don't you pay attention to me? and you whore!" the boy pointed to the teacher and shot her table, causing more yelling and startling.

Beca needed a second to shove her laptop in her bag, close it, and hide under the table, like most people had done. She looked at both sides, her mates looking as scared as she probably was. Some were in their phones, so Beca reacted quickly and sent a text to her father: 'Dad, some crazy boy of my class just pulled out a gun and almost killed the teacher! We can't leave the classroom. It's number 4.9. CALL POLICE ASAP.' Then she sent another text to the Bellas group, in which Aubrey and Chloe were too 'Girls, you won't believe me but there's a mate in my class in the 4.9. that just pulled out A GUN and SHOT MY TEACHER'S TABLE. Please SEND HELP.' She heard another shot and more yells and her hands almost let the cell fall 'Jesse, SOS 4.9. STUDENT WITH A GUN.' And lastly, she sent a text to Chloe 'Baby, I'm so sorry for how I overreacted earlier. I love you. I'm so scared Chloe, I'm under my table and I don't even want to look but I'm hearing shootings. Chlo Bear, I love you.' The Bellas' group was filled with flipped messages that she barely read 'PEOPLE START FLIPPING AND GET YOUR FUCKING TEACHERS TO CALL FUCKING POLICE AND GET US OUT OF HERE. HE'S SHOOTING RANDOMLY.'

She shoved her phone into her pocket. She couldn't call police because if the man heard her, she was dead.

"What do we do?" she whispered to the girl beside her, who was about to start sobbing.

"I don't know." She mouthed. She looked a bit getting out of under the table. Then Beca saw there were two students bleeding on the floor, and the shooter seemed to be getting nervous and out of control.

"Stop moving!" the guy shouted "I don't wanna kill anybody. I just wanna be heard!" he shouted nervously. Beca breathed deeply and stood up. Everybody else was under their tables.

"Hi." Beca said with a shaking voice. He looked at her "Hi. Don't panic, I can't hurt you and if you drop your gun, nobody will put a finger on you, okay?" she tried to sound calm. She moved to get out of the lines of tables and chairs and be in the corridor in the middle "Please. I don't want you to get hurt, and you know how police is, they don't need excuses to kill a good person. Just leave your gun."

The guy then suddenly started walking towards the door and left the room. Beca breathed deeply and took her bag, leaving right behind trying not to make noise and escape through the other sets of stairs. The building was in silence, or evacuated or teachers had heard and wouldn't let students get out of the classrooms.

She saw the guy go in one direction so she took the other, as silently as she could, and then ran downstairs until suddenly she almost crashed with someone.

"Chloe!"

"Beca!"

"What the hell are you doing here? Do you have any idea how dangerous this is?" Beca asked with wide eyes and Chloe just launched forward and kissed her "Okay I love you too but really this is not the moment."

"Right, sorry. I went after you and then I saw the texts, and I was already here and police is not yet so…"

"You thought it would be a nice idea to try to play the hero?" Beca chuckled.

"No! I figured maybe I could convince him to go?" Chloe shrugged and Beca shook her head and took her head.

"We should just get the hell out of here. He's walking freely through the building."

Chloe nodded and the couple ran the four floors downstairs. They were at the first when they thought they heard the guy downstairs, so they stayed in that floor and ran to look for the other set of stairs that was closer. There, the building was empty.

"I've seen a lot of people surrounding this building." Chloe commented "I had to sneak to be able to go in."

"Chloe please, don't you ever do something so dangerous, okay sweetie?" Chloe smiled and nodded.

"Stop!" They froze. They turned around slowly and saw the man was pointing at them with the damn gun. Before Beca could react, Chloe had stepped in front of her and she was more dangerous than Beca, who on top of that only had one arm to use, so there was no way to move Chloe.

"Go away." Chloe said firmly.

"The bitch called the police! They're outside, they will kill me!"

"That's not my problem." Chloe said coldly.

The guy was going to reply, but there was a noise and they heard police.

"He's in the next floor, I heard him!"

Chloe used the distraction when the guy turned towards the noise. Chloe took Beca's hand and ran with her as fast as they could down the corridor. Then, they heard a shot, Chloe yelled, and fell.

"Chloe!" Beca yelled.

* * *

Mia chapter 20 . 19h ago

So now I am waiting for the bad stuff ahahah **hahahahah you go girl!**

G chapter 19 . Jan 27

Please update soon! I'm getting desperate **sure thing babe!**


	22. Chapter 22

_Okay, I'm really really sorry for the lack of updates these days, in compensation, here's updates today in ALL my bechloe fanfics. Now, what happened is that last week on Tuesday I finished my exams, that_ _ **kept me busy for the whole January**_ _and so last week I was writing and relaxing on my own. Then on Monday this week I got really sick with a cold that ended up being a horrible thing to have at least Monday, because it didn't seem like a normal cold, I was having chills then being too warm, headaches, stomachaches, sneezes, throat pain, coughs, over sensitivity to light, watery eyes all the time… well, I was a mess and went to Theatre at night to rehearse something I'm doing in May-June and the rehearse ended at night and I came back dead, but couldn't miss it because exams already made me miss two rehearsals so… and then Tuesday I spent the whole day in bed and didn't went to class, which was good because thanks to that yesterday I was a lot better and today I'm really recovering, so all good. You gotta know that I care too much for Emotionless, Lost and Found, Unstoppable and The Last Battle to abandon them and I'm ALWAYS writing new chapters (well, all of the stories are already completely written except for Lost and Found, and even that one has like ten chapters written or more) I only need time and energy to update because I like to update them all at once in order not to forget any behind. So if you see I'm not updating either you missed something I said before some chapter explaining my absence, either I'm sick, dead, or busy as hell._

 _Again, thanks for always being such great readers and reviewers. I love you all like crazy. I will answer all reviews once I'm completely OK (It'll appear like I put a new chapter but it'll be just the answers for the anons) because it's four stories with reviews and I want to take a good time to read them and answer them. Please leave reviews. Love you!_

 _About this chapter, for some reason despite I said there were 22 chapters and that the last one still had another coming, a lot of people believed the story had ended so surprise, it hasn't. However, the end comes in a way a bit surprising for me because I didn't thought it would be only 22 chapters, but I feel it's at a great place to end and I love the end I wrote so much, and I feel it's a good thing because the story is told and it responds to the irony of the title. Thanks for everybody who followed to the end, special shoutout to Jake, a wonderful Aspie who never failed to leave a review, support and help me out and who I'm fortunate enough to call a friend, and to everybody who shared their stories for me to write better and who supported the fic. THANK YOU._

 **Chapter 22:**

"Chloe, eyes open!" Beca ordered her girlfriend, who shut her eyes in pain writhing on the floor. Beca had her hands firmly pressed against Chloe's thigh, that bleed copiously.

"Oh God how can this hurt so incredibly much?" Chloe grunted.

"I know, just don't move. Call an ambulance!" Beca yelled back at the cops who had just took the boy down "Or several, there are many wounded in the 4.9.!"

"Don't leave me?" Chloe asked sometime later as Beca took her hand and the EMTs pulled her into the ambulance.

"Never." Beca smiled at her and leaned to kiss her "You will be okay, I know you will."

After Chloe's surgery, her leg was wrapped up in bandages and the ginger lied on a hospital bed. The damage hadn't been as much, only muscular damage, nothing broken, so it was great. Chloe was sleeping and Beca sat next to her. Aubrey and Jesse were on their way, along with the other Bellas, and they had called Chloe's family in Tampa.

Chloe's eyes opened slowly, and she smiled at Beca.

"Hi." Chloe said, and Beca smiled pressing her lips against her forehead.

"You scared me, ginger."

"We need to stop meeting like this." Chloe stroke Beca's chin, and the brunette didn't even dislike it. She had been so afraid for Chloe, thinking she was going to bleed out and die or something, and she had then just realized that Chloe couldn't leave her, she couldn't go anywhere, because she was the only one that understood Beca, that wanted her, that loved her, that would do anything for her, that would die for her, she was the one that reminded Beca she was worthwhile, and her life mattered, and this world wouldn't be the same without her, and certainly, it wouldn't be better.

"You can leave me." Beca said suddenly, overwhelmed with feelings. That's right, that person who had been called _emotionless_ , that person who had been insulted, hated, and that had gotten so much people to believe she was a wall unable to love and care for another being, that same person was now _overwhelmed_ with feelings to the point her eyes were glassy. Chloe smiled a little and shook her head, caressing Beca's cheek. Beca leaned into her touch.

"I'm not gonna leave you Beca. I love you. I'm not going anywhere."

"Good." Beca felt a knot in her throat "Because… because if you leave me… I won't know what to do. I will probably take a lifetime to understand you won't come back and I will still wait for you, and I will forget to eat or drink, or breath, because I won't have a reason to… and this world will be miserable without you, and I'd get so, so lonely without somebody to lie with me, and make me better and…"

"Sh…" Chloe kissed her cheek "It's okay. I'm here with you, I'm not going anywhere. And I don't make you better Beca… you are much better than what you think." Beca chuckled.

"I'm a wall."

"No you're not." Chloe smiled "You make me feel so many things… good things. And a wall wouldn't wrap a blanket around me when I fall asleep thinking that maybe, because of the wind and the house temperature, I could get cold, a wall wouldn't write notebooks and notebooks about me, my expressions, what those mean, the secrets hidden behind every 'I'm fine', what things I like to be done to me, or made to me, a wall wouldn't become a specialist in me. You're the best thing that could've ever happened to me."

"You read my notebooks?" Beca asked surprised.

"Sometimes." Chloe said "And I have notebooks about you too."

"Why? You don't have aspergers. You know how to make me happy better than anyone, you're a natural."

"But you're different, and I wanna remember everything and please you as much as I can, and I want that every effort you have to make for us, you're not the only one making it. Beca… I do it because I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I wanna know everything about you so I can be a specialist in you and make sure every single day of your life is as pleasing as my days will be."

"They will be. As long as you're there." Beca smiled and kissed her on the lips "I'm not emotionless."

"No you're not…" Chloe kissed her again "If anything, you're emotionful. And when my leg gets better, I'm gonna stand by you through every storm forever."

"Forever?"

"Yes." Beca grinned. She couldn't help it. Chloe brought joys to her that nobody else did. She made her feel so much it was hard to believe "If you want to."

"Won't you get sick of me?"

"Oh, you kidding me? you have weirdness to keep me entertained for a lifetime." Chloe smiled "Which is good. Is amazing. Is perfect."

"Then yes." Beca nudged her nose into her neck and Chloe stroke her hand "Or else I would miss my gorgeous own personal space invader." Chloe laughed.

"I will always invade your personal space."

"And I promise to grimace every time."

"Forever?" Chloe looked down at Beca with a smile.

"Forever."

. . .

A FEW WEEKS LATER

. . .

Before they knew it, it was time for Regionals to arrive, and Beca didn't leave Chloe's side as Aubrey wheeled the redhead's wheelchair towards her special spot in the audience. Special because it was a good one and because it had space in front to leave the wheelchair and was easy to help Chloe in and out of the chair.

"You'll be good?" Beca asked once she had helped Chloe into the chair. Chloe smiled at her.

"Yeah, come on, you have a stage to be at." Chloe said as Aubrey sat beside her.

"Aw, it's Jesse's turn soon, I still have some time." Beca replied making sure Chloe was warm enough zipping up her jacket. Beca wasn't at all like that usually, but ever since Chloe was shot, Beca had been her rock, and had surprised everyone. She seemed to have gotten over her own stuff by helping Chloe out, like if she was her baby "How's the leg?"

"It's fine." Chloe chuckled and kissed Beca on the lips a bit "Remember when you wouldn't even know what to do when I twisted my ankle?"

"Good thing you trained me well to know when that pretty little face is unhappy." Beca smirked and gave her a quick peek "Okay, I gotta go. Stay tuned for the lyrics, I mixed God knows how many songs… have a good time girls!"

"Good luck!" they wished her. Then Beca left and soon after, the Treblemakers were onstage. After their awesome performance, it was turn for the Bellas.

At first everything was dark. The Bellas hadn't started making background music sounds, and Beca started rapping part of 'Where is the love?'

" _So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong  
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin' in  
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends  
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother  
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover_"

Chloe and Aubrey's jaw dropped, not used to Beca not speaking perfectly correctly, let alone rapping. Then light started coming into the stage showing all the Bellas all serious, and the Bellas started singing in the background.

" _People killin', people dyin'  
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'  
Can you practice what you preach?  
Or would you turn the other cheek?_

 _Where is the love (The love)?  
Where is the love (The love)?_"

Then suddenly Jessica started singing and the other Bellas started making some background music sounds.

" _The sun is breaking in your eyes  
To start a new day.  
This broken heart can still survive  
With a touch of your grace.  
Shadows fade into the light.  
I am by your side,  
Where love will find you."_

And at the same time Jessica started singing that, Stacie started singing another thing, and their voices got together beautifully, alternating sentences one with the sentences of the other, although Stacie's voice was meant to have less importance, so Jessica sounded a bit stronger and more important. _  
_

" _What about now?  
What about today?  
What if you're making me all that I was meant to be?  
What if our love, it never went away?  
What if it's lost behind words we could never find?  
Baby, before it's too late,  
What about now?"_

Then both girls stopped singing, the other Bellas kept doing background music, and Cynthia, not singing but just stepping forward and talking, said the lyrics of another song.

" _According to you  
I'm stupid  
I'm useless  
I can't do anything right  
According to you  
I'm difficult  
Hard to please"_

In the meantime, the dancing moves and lights where just perfect according to which lyric sounded, which vibe was going on, and somehow the Bellas managed to create an awesome and perfect background music that was a mix of sounds from different songs altered in a way only an expert mixer like Beca could create and very experimented girls could bring onstage only with their voices.

Then the background music they were doing and the lyrics changed completely to sing a part of 'Start of something good". Beca sang this part while the other girls made great background music.

" _You never know when you're gonna meet someone  
And your whole wide world in a moment comes undone  
You're just walking around and suddenly  
Everything that you thought that you knew about love is gone_

You find out it's all been wrong  
And all my scars don't seem to matter anymore  
Cause they led me here to you"

Chloe smiled tearing up. All the lyrics seemed to talk so much about them but also about the reality of the world and a lot of people, so everyone seemed quite excited and emotional by the lyrics and also the fact that Beca and the Bellas had been able to artistically combine so many songs was surreal and extraordinary. Chloe knew Beca had poured a lot of effort into that, but she would've never imagined it was so good and so much. And also, they had managed to give some solos to people that rarely got them despite their awesome voices.

In the background and with less importance than Beca, Jessica was singing again. Beca was performing so beautifully and with such care and like understanding the lyrics and feeling them so well, and looking at Chloe with such eyes Chloe felt the whole lyrics had been elected thinking about them and it filled her heart in all the right ways.

" _Now that we're here,  
Now that we've come this far,  
Just hold on.  
There is nothing to fear,  
For I am right beside you.  
For all my life,  
I am yours."_

And Stacie had also started singing in perfect sync with Jessica having the same importance she had but managing to not talk at the same time so both her lyrics were clear.

" _When I'm losing my control, the city spins around  
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down_"

And Cynthia also, just like them:

" _You've begun to feel like home  
What's mine is yours to leave or take  
What's mine is yours to make your own_"

Then everything changed completely. No more mixes, just one song that it was almost literally like if Beca had written it for Chloe, and if Chloe wasn't emotional yet, she was now. The Bellas arranged a perfect background sound, and Beca took the lead as some Bellas were backup singers. It was a beautiful end for such an energetic performance.

" _I gotta take a little time  
A little time to think things over  
I better read between the lines  
In case I need it when I'm older_

Now this mountain I must climb  
Feels like a world upon my shoulders  
I through the clouds I see love shine  
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life there's been heartache and pain  
I don't know if I can face it again  
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far  
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is  
I want you to show me  
I wanna feel what love is  
I know you can show me

I'm gonna take a little time  
A little time to look around me  
I've got nowhere left to hide  
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there's been heartache and pain  
I don't know if I can face it again  
I can't stop now, I've traveled so far  
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is  
I want you to show me  
I wanna feel what love is  
I know you can show me

I wanna know what love is  
I want you to show me  
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is  
And I know, I know you can show me

Let's talk about love  
I wanna know what love is, the love that you feel inside  
I want you to show me, and I'm feeling so much love  
I wanna feel what love is, no, you just cannot hide  
I know you can show me, yeah

I wanna know what love is, let's talk about love  
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too  
I wanna feel what love is, I want to feel it too  
And I know and I know, I know you can show me  
Show me love is real, yeah  
I wanna know what love is..."

After the performance, everyone was clapping enthusiastically and the Bellas went back to backstage, whey they had to stay until after the awards. A couple performances went by ant then it was time to give the prizes and the Treblemakers were announced in second place, right after the Bellas, who won. Beca grinned holding the enormous prize with Stacie, who was in the clouds, and stared at Chloe, who grinned back yelling loudly. What she wouldn't have given to be able to stand and jump.

Later, Aubrey and Chloe stood by the exit of the building as they waited for their loves to come. Jesse came quickly smiling with his second place prize in hand, and a bit later came the Bellas, jumping and grinning and being loud. Beca let Stacie take the award and ran to Chloe, kneeling in front of her so Chloe surrounded her neck with her arms and Beca could stood up holding Chloe up, with her arms around Chloe's waist, that way Chloe wasn't supporting her weight on her bad leg.

"You were awesome." Chloe smiled against her lips.

"I was." Beca replied all serious making Chloe chuckle.

"I loved every second of it… but…" Chloe gave her a quick peek "I love you more." Beca smiled a little leaning against her lips.

"You're perfect." Beca whispered.

"Marry me." Chloe said suddenly, and Beca almost dropped her. Instead, she looked at her frowning in confusion.

"Chlo, I'm nineteen." Beca said matter of factly.

"I know." Chloe grinned "I'm not saying now… I'm saying… after college. Be my roommate forever. My partner in crime, my laugh companion, my particular mixer. Be my everything forever." Chloe's eyes were shinning in a way Beca had never seen, and Beca, who never thought much about marriage, stared at her in amazement.

"Are you serious?" Beca whispered, and Chloe nodded "Are you sure? You can still… what if… we've only been dating for a year…"

"Beca, you're the only one I want. I've felt it for such long time." Chloe said kindly in a whisper.

"What if it's not what you expected? What if you get tired of me?"

"Then, we'll work through it and come back to each other, like always." Chloe shrugged "And besides… with you, nothing is ever like I expect it…" Beca frowned and Chloe kissed her "It's better."

. . .

TEN YEARS LATER

. . .

"Oh, she wants momma." Aubrey smirked seeing how Hugo, Beca and Chloe's one year old son, was trying to get onto the sofa where Beca and Aubrey sat drinking some wine.

"Momma!" Hugo had his tears on point and Beca, knowing that, smiled bringing him to her lap.

"What's up, Hugo?" Beca asked the boy.

"Momma." He sat on her lap helplessly staring at her. After a few seconds staring intently at him, Beca smirked.

"Oh, you want tickles?" Hugo's eyes seemed to shine with that and the redheaded boy soon was laughing as Beca tickled him. It had taken years to convince Beca, but she knew her wife would be such an amazing mom, she couldn't help it and said yes. Soon, Rose was born. Beca remembered standing next to Chloe as she birthed Rose, and the doctor handed Beca the crying baby. Beca remembered holding Rose in the air looking at her with a frown as Rose cried. And then, her frown relaxed, some maternal instinct kicked in, and she held the girl close to her chest. She knew how crappy world was and was willing to protect that child from that. And when she didn't know what to do, when she would cry and cry and Beca would just have any idea what was wrong, she would sing, or act stupid, or try to distract the girl anyway possible.

"How did you know he wanted such a thing?" Aubrey asked fascinated.

"Oh." Beca looked at her "Well, I studied it of course. Come. Hugo, let's show Aunty Aubrey our Hugopedias, shall we?"

The three walked to a bookcase, Beca holding Hugo. She pointed and Aubrey's mouth opened. There were at least two shelves with big books that had in the spines written 'Chloepedia' or 'Becapedia'. And then, at least seven shelves with books that in the spines had written 'Rosepedia' or 'Hugopedia'.

"What the hell?" Aubrey asked surprise.

"Shh! Hugo's starting to talk!" Beca put a hand on her son's ear pressing him against her chest.

"Sorry. What is all this?"

"We've been written them since the very start. Well, used to be notebooks, but Chloe insisted we should organize them with indexes and everything. Those are our most personal stuff, we study our family and come out with ways to figure out stuff." Beca shrugged "And are amazing for my Aspergers. I see the kids and I've studied what can or not be going on."

"It's so weird…"

"I know, but my kids will grow up to know what momma deals with and help out. Rose already does."

The three walked back to the garden, where Chloe, their ginger daughter, Jesse, and the three little Swansons, were chilling out by the pool.

"Momma!" Rose came running the moment Beca handed Chloe little Hugo and kissed her on the lips "I'm cold. Could you hand me a towel and hug me tight?" Rose said. She knew while Chloe would just do whatever, Beca needed to be told a bit, and her maternal instincts would do the rest of the job.

"Sure thing hon." Beca took a towel, wrapped Rose tightly, and hugged her even tighter. Sometimes she hated when her children were too touchy, but then she had studied when it was absolutely necessary to bit her awkwardness back and just give them whatever they wanted, and being told what to do was one of those moments. Although she didn't mind hugging in that moment.

"Look mom, I think Aspen wants some food!" Rose said. Beca turned around and saw their black cat, Aspen, had his paws on the glass of their garden door, like wanting to come out.

"Well, let's feed him then, yeah?" The girls entered their house and Aspen quickly came running. Rose, that was now four years old, had found the kitten last year, as she and Beca stepped out of the building where Beca worked as a music producer. Rose had cried and cried asking for the cat, and Beca had done everything to pick the kitten up. Then, Rose had named him Aspen, in honor of Beca's Aspergers. And Beca had found out she was a lot like the cat, both didn't like to be touched much and would get upset if people was too touchy for a long period of time, both loved food and sleep, and both would look for you to touch them when they felt like it in their own terms, not when you wanted. So Rose learnt to love her mother the same way she loved Aspen, as a kitty.

"Mom, do you think Aspen has Aspergers too?" Rose asked as Beca put some food in his bowl.

"No honey, he's just a cat. That's how cats are." Beca replied. Rose then started laughing and Beca looked at her "What?"

"Are you sure you aren't Catwoman and not an Aspie?" Rose laughed. Beca stared at her and laughed too.

"Yeah, maybe I'm just Catwoman."

"At least you're not emotionless." Chloe smiled looking at them from the door of the kitchen, where they were. She was holding Hugo's hand.

"No, I'm not." Beca smiled and kissed Chloe "Didn't you hear our daughter? Chloe, I'm Catwoman!" Beca said excitedly, and Chloe laughed out loud.


End file.
